Straight men who suck dick or who are curious to suck cock please read; cross dressers too

[docisin]

My experience started about 8 years ago. I gad just remarried and my new wife had medical issues that caused her to have no sexual drive whatsoever. I didn’t want to find another woman just to satisfy my sexual desires as i felt i would have a hard time seperating the act from any relationship connection. I then had the idea of seeing if a gay guy would simply “help me out”, and iffer a blowjob. I was surprised to find listings of guys offering exactly this type of service. After nearly chickening out several times i fianlly accepted one invitation and went to a guys place. He was super chill and relaxed with no pressure whatsoever. He simply said he would suck me off then i could get up and leave. He made me feel comfortable, asking me if i wanted to stand, sit in a chair or lie down in a bed. I chose to lie down in the bed. I took my clothes off and lied back. He came over and delicatley started to handle my cock until i was hard. He fhen proceeded to expertly bring my cock to attention using his tongue, lips and throat. He kept sucking, seemingly enjoying every moment of it, as i was. Nearing orgasm I told him i was about to cum, thinking he would finish me off with his hand. Instead, he kept sucking until i moaned louy in orgasm. He stayed there sucking and taking all of my load as if it were a reward. He made sure to clean up all of my cum and had a warm wet cloth ready to clean ip the rest. He stood up, smiled and thanked me. I was surprised as to why he was thanking me, after all, i was the one who got the blowjob. He gave me my space, allowed me to get dressed and then escorted me to the door where he thanked me again. I thanked him for such an amazing experience.

So that was starting point for me. I had a few similar experiences, only on the receiving end of blowjobs. Mentally I was fine with it as I associated the activity like getting a massage or or going to physio. Just an activity. Of course my never knew and still does not to this day.

After being on the receiving end of bj’s for a while, i was curious to find out what it would be like to play with another guys cock. Again I was surprised to find lots of married “straight” guys who were looking for mutual hj’s or bj’s with other married guys. After getting to know one guy anonomouslybfor a while, we decided to meet. It was in a car in a secluded parking where we knew we would have some privacy. We both were nervous but easily pulled our pants down to expose ourselves. Instictively we each reached for each others cocks and started handling them. I was surprised how mixh i enjoyed having another mans cock in my hand. We started stroking each other, geting hard for each other. He leaned in and started sucking me. I had let go of his cock to give him room. So now inwas on the receiving end of another bj. He continued until i let him know i was ready to cum. He stopped sucking and finished me off sucking my cock fast. I orgasmed all over my cock and his hand. He smile and found a tissue to clean me up. I thanked him and wanted more than ever to do the same. I told him i had never sucked another mans cock but was not sure if it would be any good for him. He smiles and said to just give it a try, if i didn’t like it, i could just stroke him off. I leanwd in and started sucking the tip of his cock. Immediately i felt his pleasure with my mouth on his cock. I loved that. I suxked lightly until i had the courage to suck all of it. I lowered my head to get my mouth to take all if his cock. He was so responsive with his moans of pleasure, it encouraged me to try sucking and taking it in my throat. Inwas not sure if i was doing it right but i just did what i thought would feel good. Before long he told me he was about to cum. I was about to pull out and finish him off with my hand but i was so turned on, something inside me told me to swallow his cum. I winked at him to let him know to go ahead and cum. He did and i felt a warm gush of his cum in my throat. I didn’t taste much as it had all gone in my throat. Afte he stopped twitching, he pulled out and it was then that i got a taste of the pungeant sweet cum in my tongue and lips. Intasted for a moment, never having tasted cum befor and found that it was actually ok. I leaned in and lixked and cleaned him up to remove any remaining cum off of his cock. He was surprised and told me thatbfor someone that never sucked a cock befor, I seemed to know what I was doing.

Like many men in here, the furst time sucking a cock will do one of two things, completely turn you off of it or get you addicted to it. I knew after that experience that i now understood why the first gay guy was ok just sucking me off and not getting anything in return. There was something ao rewarding in the act of giving a blowjob.

I

great story; huge hardon that I need to take care of! One question: since you sucked him off and swallowed his cum after you had already cum, was there any “post cum” let down, which made you not want to swallow his load?

 

[Jason51]

great story; huge hardon that I need to take care of! One question: since you sucked him off and swallowed his cum after you had already cum, was there any “post cum” let down, which made you not want to swallow his load?

great story; huge hardon that I need to take care of! One question: since you sucked him off and swallowed his cum after you had already cum, was there any “post cum” let down, which made you not want to swallow his load?

First of all, thank you for a wonderful compliment, i hope you have a great masturbation session, and i am priviledged to be an inspiration for you.

After i orgasmed i saw that he was still hard and i was turned on. It wasn’t long before i was getting excitesd stroking him, so once i started sucking i knew i was going to swallo

 

[Maddiesnewlife]

Well I luv to crossdress, panties skirts stockings, shaved legs and when in girl mode I crave sucking cock, and I mean crave it, I have been able to suck some cocks and really loved it so. I have been able to bottom a few times and all were very enjoyable. The fantasy would be having a guy that would let me keep my outfits at his house in some really private area so I could go there dress suck and fuck inside outside maybe he has a friend that would come over and I could get split roasted from time to time. Maybe go there for a full week stay dressed all week and suck and fuck as often as possible. The struggle is my life when not dressed and I have to be in guy mode much of my life due family work ect. And the fact that I am not able to pass as a woman in public due to build ect so that makes it harder.

Sister from another mister. We are living the same life.

 

[Tir_an_Beithioch]

I fall into category one.

Feel free to quote if you like.

I have always viewed my sexual encounters with men as "just business", even when I was testing the waters in college.

My very first was a middle-aged man named Cade who I met online. He was local to my university and his game was messaging guys on an unofficial forum for students. He initially came off as creepy, but I realized he was just shotgunning to see what he could hit. He happened to catch me in a sexual drought and I was curious. It helped that he was very athletic and good-looking. We talked for a week before meeting somewhere public and going to a very nice hotel room I had arranged. (I didn't want to play on his turf and couldn't exactly bring him back to my dorm.)

He wasted no time stripping off when we got to the room. He was… impressively endowed. He tried to kiss me, but I had already made it clear that wasn't on the table and he apologized. After that it was a fairly boring blowjob, at least from his perspective, I assume.

I was so nervous it was difficult to get into it, but youthful exuberance ensured I stayed hard. He jerked-off while he worked and ended up cumming before I did. He told me to cum in his mouth, which I did. No girl I had been with up to that point had let me cum in her mouth, so it was a treat.

He left quickly thereafter, which was fine with me. I stayed at the hotel because I paid a small fortune for the night.

I had a few encounters with guys after that, but nothing on the same level. Mutual jerking, shower handjobs, etc. It wasn't until after my divorce that I jumped into the bisexual deep-end. (I was married from age 24 to 28.)

I didn't really have any internal struggle about it. My goal was to nut and Cade helped me achieve it. Men have always occupied that space for me. Zero emotional attachment. Zero romantic notions.

In contrast, I near-universally associate sex with women with romance, emotion, and love. I don't enjoy no-strings sex with women nearly as much as with one I'm emotionally invested in. That isn't to say I don't enjoy it at all, just far less. It seems clinical and dispassionate. It ticks a box.

After my divorce, I was starved for sex and getting it anywhere I could. That was when I really explored sucking cock and bottoming, mostly because I was meeting compatible men who wanted those things and I was willing to do them. Again, it was a matter of practicality.

I started to enjoy being a giver. It sort of bridged the gap between my inability to be romantically attracted to a man and the need to feel something for a partner.

Now, I am very lucky to be in a relationship my lady friend (she hates being called “girlfriend”, I think calling her a "partner” is borderline disrespectful).

She loves sex and exploring her sexuality with me. She loves exhibitionism, spontaneity, threesomes, including MMF with other gay/bi men, as well as with women.

She is a sexual Swiss-Army-Knife; unparalleled in her ability to bring willing and excited partners into our bedroom. And living room. And hot tub. And once a bit of mechanic roleplay in the garage.

So, that's where I am now.

I'm an open book if you have any questions.

 

[Tinyharold46]

First off, I am 77 years old and I just sucked my first cock.
I have been bi curious for years and finally broke the ice.
I met up with a guy off sniffles who said he wanted to suck my small cock. I felt his cock and he asked if I wanted to suck it; I said yes and I did. I was disappointed that he didn’t last more than a minute and did not want to cum in my mouth. He shot his load on the ground, turned and walked away and never said a word. I must say that I was disappointed in my first experience and I definitely do not like cum and run.

 

[dodgeboy2]

First off, I am 77 years old and I just sucked my first cock.
I have been bi curious for years and finally broke the ice.
I met up with a guy off sniffles who said he wanted to suck my small cock. I felt his cock and he asked if I wanted to suck it; I said yes and I did. I was disappointed that he didn’t last more than a minute and did not want to cum in my mouth. He shot his load on the ground, turned and walked away and never said a word. I must say that I was disappointed in my first experience and I definitely do not like cum and run.

Sadly you were with the wrong guy but keep it up and I am sure you will find a better one and also have a much better experience

 

[Bisexguy70]

First off, I am 77 years old and I just sucked my first cock.
I have been bi curious for years and finally broke the ice.
I met up with a guy off sniffles who said he wanted to suck my small cock. I felt his cock and he asked if I wanted to suck it; I said yes and I did. I was disappointed that he didn’t last more than a minute and did not want to cum in my mouth. He shot his load on the ground, turned and walked away and never said a word. I must say that I was disappointed in my first experience and I definitely do not like cum and run.

That totally sucks!! Yea im with ya. I like to enjoy a cock and kinda edge and tease it. Savor it and have fun. I also hate guys who frantically suck and jerk me off as if its a race to get my cum. I like to enjoy a more sensual slow approach. Thats not the norm, dont give up.

 

[docisin]

First off, I am 77 years old and I just sucked my first cock.
I have been bi curious for years and finally broke the ice.
I met up with a guy off sniffles who said he wanted to suck my small cock. I felt his cock and he asked if I wanted to suck it; I said yes and I did. I was disappointed that he didn’t last more than a minute and did not want to cum in my mouth. He shot his load on the ground, turned and walked away and never said a word. I must say that I was disappointed in my first experience and I definitely do not like cum and run.

I don’t know why you’d be “disappointed“ at this, but your choice. You fulfilled a major goal/fantasy, and had a cock in your mouth; that’s so hot to even think about; one experience, and I’m sure it will lead to more…..keep going….

 

[ByteMe13]

First off, I am 77 years old and I just sucked my first cock.
I have been bi curious for years and finally broke the ice.
I met up with a guy off sniffles who said he wanted to suck my small cock. I felt his cock and he asked if I wanted to suck it; I said yes and I did. I was disappointed that he didn’t last more than a minute and did not want to cum in my mouth. He shot his load on the ground, turned and walked away and never said a word. I must say that I was disappointed in my first experience and I definitely do not like cum and run.

That’s not a good first time experience. Although I would probably cum quickly but I would have cummed in your mouth.

 

[One_ping_only]

That totally sucks!! Yea im with ya. I like to enjoy a cock and kinda edge and tease it. Savor it and have fun. I also hate guys who frantically suck and jerk me off as if its a race to get my cum. I like to enjoy a more sensual slow approach. Thats not the norm, dont give up.

Each guy or person has its technique of sucking cock I guess. I, myself would never personally jerk a guy off and race to have him cum in my mouth though YES, that's the end goal but I'd honestly would take my sweet ass time so I can savor every inch of his hard shaft, his mushroom head and his two hanging balls with my tounge, lips and of course mouth hmmmmm!!!

I thought only wives and girlfriends gave blowjobs like how you described just to " get it over with " haaaaa !?!?

 

[BlackSatinKnight]

I’ve known since I was a teen that I was equally attracted to men and women. Without going into details about high school, I sucked my first Man right after graduating. I then spent over 20 years in a homophobic environment so there were little to no opportunities for a hook up other than trolling a local ABS if there was one near where I lived. My wife is fairly vanilla who doesn’t play well with others and doesn’t share. It’s only been very recently that I admitted to her that I wanted to wear panties, shave from the waist down, and engage in anal play with a vibrator or dildo. She doesn’t know my full bi side, that I’ve sucked cock many times, that I’ve had my cock sucked, many times, and that I want to pop my anal cherry with a real cock. I wish she were more open, but it is what it is.

 

[retsef]

I got my cherry popped by a ladyboy in Bangkok. I say ladyboy but it became apparent when I started sucking her nipples that she had hairs on them. that didn't put me off at all, quite the reverse.

I told her to fuck me, which she did with vigour and I voluntarily asked her to pull out and take the condom off before she came in my mouth. It was glorious.

Am I a bit ashamed of myself, maybe. Would I do it again? Definitely. I must be a bit of a cock slut.

 

[Escierto]

I got my cherry popped by a ladyboy in Bangkok. I say ladyboy but it became apparent when I started sucking her nipples that she had hairs on them. that didn't put me off at all, quite the reverse.

I told her to fuck me, which she did with vigour and I voluntarily asked her to pull out and take the condom off before she came in my mouth. It was glorious.

Am I a bit ashamed of myself, maybe. Would I do it again? Definitely. I must be a bit of a cock slut.

Was she attractive? I assume that you knew what you signed up for before you had sex with her?

 

[mizuno1]

Man, reading these experiences really makes me feel at home. Besides some random experiences in my younger years (never sucked, never even stroked really, just kinda touched a few times), I've never had an opportunity to go further. The fantasy keeps growing in my mind, it's basically the only thing I wank off to now. I don't even know if I'd like it and I'm sure I'd have some extreme feelings after, but there's just something I can't shake about being on my knees in front of a superior cock and being used.

 

[Cocksucker0721]

Married mature guy. Wife knows I fantasize about it but not that I've actually sucked dicks. I had always fantasized about sucking a dick. I can think of specific moments in my teens when I wanted to suck a friend's dick that id seen. Of course, i never acted on it. I sucked my first dick in my late 40s. The more dicks I suck, the more i realize that I'm a sub sucker. I love a verbal guy to talk as I lick his soft dick hard. I love him to grab my face and fuck my mouth. I like ot lie on a bed with my head hanging off and have my throat fucked. I like the guy to cum all over my face - but only so I can see my cum-covered face in the mirror later. I tell the guys to cum on my face but, really, I'm perfectly fine if they hold my head there and cum in my mouth. Some of my stories are versions of encounters I actually had.
I've never been attracted to guys though. I don't like kissing and making out. I can appreciate that a guy is in shape, but since I'm turned on by cock, I'll suck fat guys too. I never had any interest in anal - not at all turned on by topping or bottoming. That is until I recently started playing with my prostate. Now I fuck myself regularly.
By the way, your stories are awesome!

You and I are very much alike as male cocksuckers, except for one trait. I'm a submissive beta male cocksucker cum slut just like you, but I will only give blowjobs to men in decent physical shape. Like you I'm intensely sexually attracted to penises, especially cut cocks with a nice mushroom head. I'm not sexually attracted to men outside their cock. However, I have found that as a cocksucker I greatly prefer the taste of sucking a cut dick, and the taste and smells of men who are in shape physically.

I have absolutely zero interest in anal sex. However, many of my feeders have said that I'm a very attractive cocksucker, and have expressed a strong interest in fucking me anally. However, I always make it crystal clear from the get go that anal sex is completely off limits for me. I also have a genuine fetish for cum! I absolutely love to swallow cum, get my face drenched in sperm, and do all sorts of kinky things with cum. I'm sexually submissive as a male cocksucker. So I strongly prefer a more aggressive feeder who isn't afraid to shove my head down his cock, and put me in my proper place as a slutty male cocksucker! I absolutely love a nice balls deep mouth fucking when I give blowjobs!

 

[neon_noodle]

You and I are very much alike as male cocksuckers, except for one trait. I'm a submissive beta male cocksucker cum slut just like you, but I will only give blowjobs to men in decent physical shape. Like you I'm intensely sexually attracted to penises, especially cut cocks with a nice mushroom head. I'm not sexually attracted to men outside their cock. However, I have found that as a cocksucker I greatly prefer the taste of sucking a cut dick, and the taste and smells of men who are in shape physically.

I have absolutely zero interest in anal sex. However, many of my feeders have said that I'm a very attractive cocksucker, and have expressed a strong interest in fucking me anally. However, I always make it crystal clear from the get go that anal sex is completely off limits for me. I also have a genuine fetish for cum! I absolutely love to swallow cum, get my face drenched in sperm, and do all sorts of kinky things with cum. I'm sexually submissive as a male cocksucker. So I strongly prefer a more aggressive feeder who isn't afraid to shove my head down his cock, and put me in my proper place as a slutty male cocksucker! I absolutely love a nice balls deep mouth fucking when I give blowjobs!

Very hot. We horny married men dearly love our cocksucking sluts, and filling their hot mouths with our cumloads.

 

[docisin]

You and I are very much alike as male cocksuckers, except for one trait. I'm a submissive beta male cocksucker cum slut just like you, but I will only give blowjobs to men in decent physical shape. Like you I'm intensely sexually attracted to penises, especially cut cocks with a nice mushroom head. I'm not sexually attracted to men outside their cock. However, I have found that as a cocksucker I greatly prefer the taste of sucking a cut dick, and the taste and smells of men who are in shape physically.

I have absolutely zero interest in anal sex. However, many of my feeders have said that I'm a very attractive cocksucker, and have expressed a strong interest in fucking me anally. However, I always make it crystal clear from the get go that anal sex is completely off limits for me. I also have a genuine fetish for cum! I absolutely love to swallow cum, get my face drenched in sperm, and do all sorts of kinky things with cum. I'm sexually submissive as a male cocksucker. So I strongly prefer a more aggressive feeder who isn't afraid to shove my head down his cock, and put me in my proper place as a slutty male cocksucker! I absolutely love a nice balls deep mouth fucking when I give blowjobs!

in the same boat; an out of shape guy is a total turn off (no judgement, just preference). I go to ABS that have voyeur booths, and when the screen goes up, if the guy is out of shape, I just put it back down….it’s def a no go for me….

 

[Jeph77]

in the same boat; an out of shape guy is a total turn off (no judgement, just preference). I go to ABS that have voyeur booths, and when the screen goes up, if the guy is out of shape, I just put it back down….it’s def a no go for me….

I have a different take. Blowing a slightly soft or paunchy guy, as long as he is clean and has a nice dick, can be a turn on. Some of these buff studs can act like entitled narcissists, not that that isn't hot, at times. A chunky dude may be more appreciative and engaged. Met a gentleman for handjobs, he was paunchy and bald, but once naked he revealed a wonderfully smooth and well proportioned eight inch dick. We hadn't agreed to anything but jerk off, but seeing that big dong hardening beneath his jiggly belly as I tugged it, I had to get a taste. He turned out to be a cream filled treat.

 

[Jason51]

I have a different take. Blowing a slightly soft or paunchy guy, as long as he is clean and has a nice dick, can be a turn on. Some of these buff studs can act like entitled narcissists, not that that isn't hot, at times. A chunky dude may be more appreciative and engaged. Met a gentleman for handjobs, he was paunchy and bald, but once naked he revealed a wonderfully smooth and well proportioned eight inch dick. We hadn't agreed to anything but jerk off, but seeing that big dong hardening beneath his jiggly belly as I tugged it, I had to get a taste. He turned out to be a cream filled treat.

Agreed, if the person is clean and has a nice cock, then firness level is less important. Attitude, however is greatly important. I am no porn star and don’t expect any guy to be either

 

[JCSTREET]

I’m a queer CD but more like a tomboy than femme. I like receiving the physical attention a nice kinky guy wants to give to a pretty girl - being desired and explored, using my body for their pleasure while making me feel good inside and out…

Beautifully put! Be well you beauty!

 

[SuperSissy]

You and I are very much alike as male cocksuckers, except for one trait. I'm a submissive beta male cocksucker cum slut just like you, but I will only give blowjobs to men in decent physical shape. Like you I'm intensely sexually attracted to penises, especially cut cocks with a nice mushroom head. I'm not sexually attracted to men outside their cock. However, I have found that as a cocksucker I greatly prefer the taste of sucking a cut dick, and the taste and smells of men who are in shape physically.

I have absolutely zero interest in anal sex. However, many of my feeders have said that I'm a very attractive cocksucker, and have expressed a strong interest in fucking me anally. However, I always make it crystal clear from the get go that anal sex is completely off limits for me. I also have a genuine fetish for cum! I absolutely love to swallow cum, get my face drenched in sperm, and do all sorts of kinky things with cum. I'm sexually submissive as a male cocksucker. So I strongly prefer a more aggressive feeder who isn't afraid to shove my head down his cock, and put me in my proper place as a slutty male cocksucker! I absolutely love a nice balls deep mouth fucking when I give blowjobs!

Ahhh, but that sublime pleasure of servicing a dirty, fat, out of shape slob who you know can't get anyone else. Kneeling at his feet, pulling off his pants and underwear as he stares at you, waiting.... Obeying his commands -- "lick my balls", "suck that cock, faggot!" "swallow, slut!" - oh my the submission and humiliation! He is repulsive to you and yet you are so turned on. It can be exquisite! [my apologies to anyone who identifies as a dirty, fat out of shape slob]

 

[Tir_an_Beithioch]

I identity as a 220lb, tall, bearded, flannel-clad, barrel-chested, solid hunk of wrench-turning, beer-pounding, hog-slaying, primitive masculinity.

The problem is, I weigh 287.

 

[Jeph77]

Agreed, if the person is clean and has a nice cock, then firness level is less important. Attitude, however is greatly important. I am no porn star and don’t expect any guy to be either

Better to unlock the inner porn star. Those are the discoveries that make certain experiences memorable. He was making Ron Jeremy faces when I was blowing his slippery flute.

 

[jackthelad11]

Hi
I am writing an essay on exploring a man’s same sex lust from any of the following men:
1. Men who have sucked cock and/or bottomedr

2. Men who are curious to suck cock and/or bottom
3. Men who have cross dressed.

I’d this is you, please share your stories of experience, your fantasies, your inner struggle and I may use your story or quote in my essay.

Jasmine
The essay is tentatively called amen: How to Accept you Like Cock

Thanks in advance for considering this request.

Happy to share. PM me

 

[panty_chap]

Hi
I am writing an essay on exploring a man’s same sex lust from any of the following men:
1. Men who have sucked cock and/or bottomedr

2. Men who are curious to suck cock and/or bottom
3. Men who have cross dressed.

I’d this is you, please share your stories of experience, your fantasies, your inner struggle and I may use your story or quote in my essay.

Jasmine
The essay is tentatively called amen: How to Accept you Like Cock

Thanks in advance for considering this request.

I'm late to the party but will share some thoughts.

The TL:dr version is, I've always been fascinated by panties, how they look, how they feel. How they make me feel. I've never wanted to BE a woman, I like being a man in panties (I never tuck). As the years have gone on and the internet came to be, I realized if I'm going to play around with this it's most likely going to be a guy I'm playing with. One small step at a time, my fantasies drifted from femdom to being a sissy with a guy, because that's what was available to me.

And now the novel.

I started playing around with panties a long time ago. Pre-internet, I was around ten years old I suppose. The fantasies always involved girls/women. Forced fem stuff. Femdoms. It changed as I got older but was always me in lingerie with women in charge.

Then the internet became a thing. Chat rooms. AOL's "you've got mail" chime. Interaction with others... but it didn't take long to figure out that the person I was chatting with was also a guy. It was so rarely a woman. I can only think of one time I didn't become convinced it was a guy.

When I moved away from home online shopping was becoming a thing. I started ordering panties from Victoria's Secret. I bought a few toys online. I'd play at home, alone, imaging a woman was coming over and I had to be dressed for her.

But online it was guys, pretending to be women. Usually when I'd figure this out the chat would come to an end. I convinced myself that it was all fantasy, and who cared who the other person was as long as the dialog was fun? I stopped calling people out when I'd figure it out. But still the chats/exchanges wouldn't last long and they didn't happen all that often either.

At some point I figured out that if most of the other people into this were guys, maybe I'd get more replies if I checked out gay chatrooms/forums. It was worth a try.

I was right. it was a lot easier to get replies. Those chats dragged men into the fantasies. That was a slippery slope. I was now using guys for my cyber thrills, and the more I did that the more prominant they were in my fantasies. Chatting with them became more normal and again my "limits" would change.

Then I started playing with webcams. I never wanted to BE a woman. I loved how panties felt, how they looked, and the taboo of wearing them. I now realized that involving men added to the taboo part of it. The fact I'd prefer to be with a woman, but was on cam for men, added to the thrill.

I didn't wonder if I was gay. I didn't have any desire to meet with guys, I just liked being seen in lingerie, and "made" to do things for them. They'd choose what I'd wear, tell me how to pose, what to do, etc. The longer I was in panties, the more my limits would change. If he was patient I'd do pretty much whatever he asked. And enjoy it.

This went on for years. I never met up with anyone in person, was very clear in profiles and chats it wasn't part of the deal, I was cyber only.

Eventually what I had labeled as submissive turned into being a sissy. I started to realize/learn how much of what I did was more of a sissy fantasy than a fem dom fantasy. Real life I liked women. Fantasy life, it was mostly men now.

One day someone local invited me to hang out in a hot tub. The thought of being in a hot tub, in wet panties, in front of a guy was terribly appealing. I was SO close to accepting, but didn't. When I thought about it, I had to admit to myself that one thing keeping me from it was a thought that I'd end up kissing his cock, if not sucking it. Ok fine, kissing would absolutely lead to sucking. I wasn't ready for that.

This still didn't make me wonder if I was gay, It was part of the fantasy. More taboo things. But that led to my chats and fantasies becoming more what I would call sissy than submissive. But I was comfortable knowing that having a fantasy didn't mean it was something I'd do in real life. Fantasizing didn't make me gay any more than fantasizing about driving 200mph down the freeway made me a street racer.

As the idea of being a sissy grew I started looking at online tests like "are you a sissy" or articles about sissy training. I realized I had been doing a lot of these "sissy" things for years. I fell further into this "sissy" thing. And fantasizing more about being something of a toy for men. There was one particular person I chatted with who had become something of a dom to me. He enjoyed feminizing me, I enjoyed doing things that I wouldn't probably do without a little push.

A perfect storm came. My wife had lost all interst in anything sexual, not that she ever had much interest in me. My entire sex life was now online and it was feeding on itself. Then the big catalyst, Covid.

Isolation. Working from home. I've always been a bit of an introvert and I stopped having face to face contact with people. Things changed fast. I was in my own little world. I became convinced that this wasn't just a fantasy. I was truly a sissy. I started wearing panties pretty much every day. I started removing body hair at my "doms" request. I got to where I had no hair from the waist down. And I loved the look/feel (but not the upkeep!). My wife knew I loked to wear panties on occassion. It was a don't ask don't tell thing. but why hide it. With hair gone it didn't seem so embarrassing, She had seen me in them in quick bursts, as a joke no and then, but one day I walked into the room in just panties, with no where to run, nothign to hide bahind, and told her i thought i could pull the look off. When we had our happy hours I'd mix and serve her drinks wearing only panties. She barely reacted. When talking about it once she said she just hoped she wasn't making me gay. I said no, maybe a sissy but not gay. She didn't reply. She didn't ask about it. She didn't have an opinion my shaved legs. Or any interest in anything else that was shaved. My sex life consisted of wearing panties to get my thrills, and the online world was the only place that got any reaction.

Once I started to think I was an actual sissy I became obsessed with sucking a cock. I had "virtually" done it in chats many times by then. Blown guys. Let them fuck me. I loved those fantasies. I started thinking about making them real. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I could make it happen. My dom wanted me to eat cum and start having sex as a sissy, through anal play. I bought a prostrate massager (remote controlled!) and began to clean up my panties with my mouth after he would finally let me cum. Yes, he had me eating cum and fucking myself.

I loved the feel of having the massager inserted. Loved? No. Love. I drip simply from inserting it. I do NOT like eating cum. But I like being made to do it.

My dom was having fun with it too. I sent him photos and gave him permission to do whatever he wanted with them. I have posted pictures of myself in lingerie in various places but anything too risque was taken down after a few days. He now had photos of me shaved, in panties, out of panties. He would control when I could cum and yes, I followed his instructions. It would end with me begging him to let me get off. He would only let me if I came in my panties and sent him photos which he then posted.

Eventually I got back involved in the real world and my sissy fantasies/activity came to a grinding halt. Once I Was interacting with people again I lost the desire to be used like that. Things that used to trigger me into a sissy moood didn[t trigger me anymore.

BUT... I never had the desire to purge any of my lingerie. Or the massager.

I still ike to be in panties, I just don't do it as often as I had been. And I still enjoy the feeling of inserting the massager.

I'm still interested in going down on a guy. And being fucked. I just can't imagine a situation where it would happen. I'm still not confused about being gay. I'm not. But I certainly don't feel right calling myself straight either. Luckily I'm not all that into labels so it doesn't keep me awake at night wondering about it. I don't really feel like a part of the LGBT communtiy either, not really sure how gay guys feel about guys like me or how I fit in. I'd kinda like to get a pair of shiny, rainbow colored panties though. ;-)

And that's my long winded story about how I drifted from purely interested in females to not feeling honest saying I'm straight. And even rambling on this long I have left SO Much out of the story.