Can it be done? Second person POV

[MillieDynamite]

You take your place at the keyboard. You think. Thinking being something you rarely do, it's very difficult work for you, so, you think some more. You type a line, "You move into the hall, holding your gun up by your head. A girl startles you; she's standing naked a few feet in front of you. From the shock of her perfect form, you pull the trigger, and the gun goes bang. The girl giggles and says to you, "Premature explanation. Hope you're not a quick cummer as well." YOu drop your gun, then your pants. She says to you, "IT was a joke, dude."" You look up from your writing, giving yourself a big thumbs up cause now you know you'll be 2nd person superstar. Your mother sticks her head in your room, "Stop that," she says, "You'll go blind."

I'm starting to feel like one of those 19th century explorers.

"Don't go, StillStunned! It's too dangerous!"
"I must! For mankind's sake, I must test the limits of mankind's world."

Seriously, it's actually coming along quite well. I think there'll be a readership for it too.

 

[StillStunned]

You take your place at the keyboard. You think. Thinking being something you rarely do, it's very difficult work for you, so, you think some more. You type a line, "You move into the hall, holding your gun up by your head. A girl startles you; she's standing naked a few feet in front of you. From the shock of her perfect form, you pull the trigger, and the gun goes bang. The girl giggles and says to you, "Premature explanation. Hope you're not a quick cummer as well." YOu drop your gun, then your pants. She says to you, "IT was a joke, dude."" You look up from your writing, giving yourself a big thumbs up cause now you know you'll be 2nd person superstar. Your mother sticks her head in your room, "Stop that," she says, "You'll go blind."

Well, this certainly renders my effort pointless...

 

[alohadave]

That's why I don't read them. I don't want anybody telling me "You're sucking a big green donkey dick."

Hey, we don't kink shame here. If you like sucking big green donkey dicks, no shame in that.

 

[samhasstories]

Are we more concerned with the fact that the big donkey dick is green than that it belongs to a donkey? The size really seems irrelevant among those other factors.

 

[Gamblnluck]

Seriously, it's actually coming along quite well. I think there'll be a readership for it too.

I kinda figured you would. Where do you plan to post it? I might see it.

 

[StillStunned]

Hey, we don't kink shame here. If you like sucking big green donkey dicks, no shame in that.

Less shame apparently than in writing in the second person.

 

[StillStunned]

I kinda figured you would. Where do you plan to post it? I might see it.

I/T. I figure that the people will be used to something perverted like second person.

 

[MillieDynamite]

"Oh, oh," donkey jumps up down, "Pick me, pick my green donkey dick. I gots layers and layers of green donkey dick for you. Like a green parfait with bright green cum-cream filling."

 

[samhasstories]

Like a green parfait with bright green cum-cream filling.

You got an actual spit-take out of me, mid sip of my beverage.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Glad to be of service.

You got an actual spit-take out of me, mid sip of my beverage.

 

[StillStunned]

Average AH poster: "Green donkey dick cum!"
Also average AH poster: "Second person, yuck, that's disgusting!"

We're a strange lot, you know.

 

[AlinaX]

This subject of second person comes up from time to time. As a reader, I tend to back out immediately on seeing a story is in second person. I hate even more the first-person narrative addressing 'you', unless the 'you' is clearly someone specific who isn't you-the-reader, i.e., an exchange of letters.

Second person can work if done carefully. I have tried it on a couple of occasions, once as an atmospheric erotic horror (The Garden and You), once as an intimate non-con (Swallow). Both are quite short pieces.

 

[samhasstories]

Average AH poster: "Green donkey dick cum!"
Also average AH poster: "Second person, yuck, that's disgusting!"

We're a strange lot, you know.

You gotta draw the line somewhere, right?

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yes, we are and damn proud of it.

Average AH poster: "Green donkey dick cum!"
Also average AH poster: "Second person, yuck, that's disgusting!"

We're a strange lot, you know.

 

[Gamblnluck]

I/T. I figure that the people will be used to something perverted like second person.

Maybe. "You have your little sister bent over her bed and screwing her doggie style and your Mom calls you to supper. You think about pulling out, but Mom's meatloaf is not worth getting in a rush.. So you stay and maintain your stroke."

 

[DustofFallenStars]

The second book of the Locked Tomb series is almost all second person and has a non-zero amount of sexually charged hate-innuendo. The author used to read fanfic and intentionally put a bunch of potential shipping moments in the work.

I mostly bring it up because it was the first thing I thought of the moment second-person PoV came up, which immediately made me want to re-read The Locked Tomb series. Just such a good series.

 

[Gamblnluck]

The second book of the Locked Tomb series is almost all second person and has a non-zero amount of sexually charged hate-innuendo. The author used to read fanfic and intentionally put a bunch of potential shipping moments in the work.

I'm guessing that story is not on this site. " and what is

"non-zero amount of sexually charged hate-innuendo"

 

[MillieDynamite]

I don't know. Do you?

I'm guessing that story is not on this site. " and what is "non-zero amount of sexually charged hate-innuendo"

 

[DustofFallenStars]

No, it's an old school published dead-tree sci-fi/fantasy series (fourth/final book to be published next year?).

The first book is 'Gideon the Ninth' and I believe the blurb for it reads "Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic mansion in space", and yeah, that's about it.

But it's really the characters that make it. I could discuss the nuances of Gideon and Harrow's relationship for hours, but it's hard to do so without spoilers for new readers. It's available in E-Book from Amazon, etc., and comes with my recommendation, whatever that's worth.

 

[Britva415]

A while ago I made a bold statement that I hated first person, present tense. Then I gave it a try, and it turned out quite well. The form serves the story: the reader needs to be in the narrator's head as the events unfold. Past tense wouldn't have had the same impact, either from the narrator's initial worry and excitement, or from his reaction to the big plot twist.

Now I'm wondering whether a second person POV could actually work for a particular type of story. A lot of "you shouldn't, you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself." Probably I/T, or perhaps NC/R.

So that's going to be my next project. Watch this space! (Or not, if the idea of a second person POV makes you physically sick.)

I wouldn't write a story by picking the POV, I'd pick the POV based on what the story requires.

So if you can come up with a story which depends on 2nd person, go for it. I still won't read it but it'll be a better story than if there's no better reason than "lemme just put this in 2nd for funsies."

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'm curious and will give a read when it comes out.

My gut feeling is that, if it's well-written, it will find an appreciative audience here on Lit.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm curious and will give a read when it comes out.

My gut feeling is that, if it's well-written, it will find an appreciative audience here on Lit.

Thanks. You're more openminded than most here, it seems.

Here's the thing: if I wasn't doing it well, I wouldn't be doing it. 2P can serve a purpose, I've discovered, and from what I've written so far I think it works. Perhaps all the naysayers would be surprised if they read it (it's only going to be short anyway).

When I'm done I'll see whether it's good enough to publish. Otherwise I might just copy it into this thread for discussion purposes.

 

[KachinaDoll]

It's not my cup of tea. If you feel compelled to do it, don't warn readers in advance. That way, when they drop out at paragraph three it'll still be logged by the system as a 'view'. You won't make many friends though.

 

[StillStunned]

It's not my cup of tea. If you feel compelled to do it, don't warn readers in advance. That way, when they drop out at paragraph three it'll still be logged by the system as a 'view'. You won't make many friends though.

I wonder how many stories here have a perfect 1 rating.

 

[nice90sguy]

I wonder how many stories here have a perfect 1 rating.

Nah, somebody will quickly 2-bomb it