Can it be done? Second person POV

[StillStunned]

A while ago I made a bold statement that I hated first person, present tense. Then I gave it a try, and it turned out quite well. The form serves the story: the reader needs to be in the narrator's head as the events unfold. Past tense wouldn't have had the same impact, either from the narrator's initial worry and excitement, or from his reaction to the big plot twist.

Now I'm wondering whether a second person POV could actually work for a particular type of story. A lot of "you shouldn't, you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself." Probably I/T, or perhaps NC/R.

So that's going to be my next project. Watch this space! (Or not, if the idea of a second person POV makes you physically sick.)

 

[samhasstories]

I'm sure it can be done. I'm in favor of experimentation - I say go for it, and godspeed.

I've read a few things that use it, and use it relatively well. I want to say N.K. Jemisin uses it in sections of the Broken Earth trilogy, which is overall great. But in every case, if I've enjoyed the work I've enjoyed it in spite of the style choice. It reads like a gimmick - like oh, you wanted to try this, okay. I don't think I've read anything that uses second person where I've come away with the impression that that was the best option - the only option, which is the impression you should get when it's truly landed. But that's not to say it can't be done, or even that it hasn't.

 

[ronde]

Just my opinion, but 2nd person only works in one-to-one situations like a chat room or an email or PM to one specific reader. Write it if you must, but be aware that 2nd person is the main character telling the reader what he or she is experiencing. Readers want to imagine they're the main character and if the sex of the reader doesn't match the sex of the main character, they'll probably stop reading. As a man, reading that you feel my pussy getting wet isn't going to do anything for me. I would think that a woman reading that you are feeling her balls bumping your ass wouldn't do much for her either.

 

[NotWise]

I'm sure it can be done, but reader acceptance is hard to predict.

We've heard from a few people who've tried writing in 2nd person, and it seems very hard to do. One thing often pointed out when examples are posted here is that passages the author thinks of as 2nd person, actually aren't.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Just my opinion, but there's a lot of distance between Can and Should where second person is concerned.
Having said that, Sam's right. Go for it. Try it out. Just don't ask me to read it.

 

[alohadave]

Now I'm wondering whether a second person POV could actually work for a particular type of story.

2nd person is about the reader, to make them part of the story. Personally, I don't care how good the story is, I don't read it. You'll lose readers pretty fast.

 

[SimonDoom]

Give it a try. But if you're going to do second person POV, make sure it's real second person POV. People get confused about this. They think this is second person POV:

"I see you standing in the doorway. You take your clothes off slowly, trying to excite me."

This is first person POV. In true second person POV there is no "I."

Second person POV is this:

"You are standing in the doorway. You take your clothes off slowly, wanting to excite your lover."

The key is from whose point of view the narration is told.

 

[intim8]

This is one of the few things I take a hard line on. Just no.

 

[StillStunned]

Thanks so far, everyone. I like a challenge. Whether I'll like the result is a different story. I think there will be an audience that will enjoy it, although I agree there will be plenty of people who hate it.

Working title: "You Know You Shouldn't"

 

[SimonDoom]

Thanks so far, everyone. I like a challenge. Whether I'll like the result is a different story. I think there will be an audience that will enjoy it, although I agree there will be plenty of people who hate it.

Working title: "You Know You Shouldn't"

I believe AlinaX wrote a story in second person POV, so you might check that out to see how it works.

The most famous novel I can think of in second person POV is Jay McInerny's Bright Lights, Big City. So if you're curious to see how it can be done in a sustained way, that's a good example. It's weird at first, but you get used to it after a while.

 

[intim8]

Thanks so far, everyone. I like a challenge. Whether I'll like the result is a different story. I think there will be an audience that will enjoy it, although I agree there will be plenty of people who hate it.

Working title: "You Know You Shouldn't"

But I don't know that. In fact, I'm pretty sure I should.

 

[nice90sguy]

The 2nd person stories I've read here read, obviously, like letters.
But they're also appropriate for a very particular fetish, erotic hypnosis.

 

[intim8]

Hmm. I see you've already done one, @StillStunned. But it seems couched in a structure that is something like 'voyeuristic second person'. The 'you' in the story is not the reader but some third person. We're eavesdropping on the MC's real or imagined words to them.

 

[StillStunned]

Hmm. I see you've already done one, @StillStunned. But it seems couched in a structure that is something like 'voyeuristic second person'. The 'you' in the story is not the reader but some third person. We're eavesdropping on the MC's real or imagined words to them.

Huh? Which one are you referring to?

If you mean Love At First Sight, that's strictly first person. It's addressing a second person, but the whole story is written from the perspective of the first person.

 

[AG31]

A while ago I made a bold statement that I hated first person, present tense. Then I gave it a try, and it turned out quite well. The form serves the story: the reader needs to be in the narrator's head as the events unfold. Past tense wouldn't have had the same impact, either from the narrator's initial worry and excitement, or from his reaction to the big plot twist.

Now I'm wondering whether a second person POV could actually work for a particular type of story. A lot of "you shouldn't, you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself." Probably I/T, or perhaps NC/R.

So that's going to be my next project. Watch this space! (Or not, if the idea of a second person POV makes you physically sick.)

I've seen it work. Sorry that I can't remember the examples. Almost anything CAN work. It just may be more susceptible to not working than some other things.

 

[Euphony]

Now I'm wondering whether a second person POV could actually work for a particular type of story. A lot of "you shouldn't, you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself." Probably I/T, or perhaps NC/R.

I don't trust the general author to go through the extra thought processes and considerations 2nd really requires even to not be just a baseline mess.

Your deliberate lines of thinking hints you're committed to the path rather than just titillated by doing the POV general "no-no."

Stay in that frame of mind and you should be good.

Revise the hell out of it. Be VERY cognizant not just the specifics readers are feeling but also if they might need a "being commanded" break. (pacing, tonal shifts, mundane actions, other "brakes.")

Use your various accelerators judiciously, keep on the apex of the curves, then unleash on the straights.

Lap times should improve the more you go around the track.

 

[Gamblnluck]

Now I'm wondering whether a second person POV could actually work for a particular type of story. A lot of "you shouldn't, you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself." Probably I/T, or perhaps NC/R.

So that's going to be my next project. Watch this space! (Or not, if the idea of a second person POV makes you physically sick.)

I have never read a story written in the 2nd person I liked. Now, I automatically quit reading no matter how the title catches me. First person PRESENT tense is almost as bad. "I walk down the street and almost trip over my feet because I'm clumsy. I think about my life yesterday. How I......"
Instead of telling the reader what his actions and thoughts are tell yours. 1st person. If written well, and you don;t skip to 3rd to explain stuff, the reader will engage.

 

[Euphony]

This got me thinking, what about Choose your own adventure books worked with 2nd?



Characteristics that would seemingly help.

Regular feel of agency - You're being bossed about (by 2nd) but YOU get to make a critical decision when it comes to page/pathing choice.

Pacing - short, zippy feeling narratives make the next decision time rarely seem far.

Less demanding readership - admittedly, they capitalized on a not particularly worldly customer base. And, there's way more commonality in their current life circumstances than, say, 25 year olds. You can't dumb down/homogenize your reader base but so much but I wonder if you can't stretch in the other direction, make your narrative particularly esoteric in the real world (spies, assassins, anything that generates unlike have to be had experiences) and see similar benefits.

There's clever ways to incorporate these factors into our realities and constraints here (without writing a CYOA) but I haven't quite clicked on them yet.

*follow up edit* - Obv the elephant is no page/pathing choice. So how do we at least claw back some of that feel?

Thinking of letting reader problem solving do the empowering. Leveraging a lot of foretelling. Probably making my characters shortsighted, obsessive, flawed in some way that let's the reader feel more clever. It's not full autonomy of pick the path at a key fork in the road but it's subtle empowerment. Need to think of more opportunities for this feeling to occur.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, 2nd person stories always, I repeat, always, suck big green donkey dicks.

 

[Zootonius]

 

[Gamblnluck]

2nd person stories always, I repeat, always, suck big green donkey dicks.

Well said.

 

[intim8]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, 2nd person stories always, I repeat, always, suck big green donkey dicks.

That's why I don't read them. I don't want anybody telling me "You're sucking a big green donkey dick."

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

That's why I don't read them. I don't want anybody telling me "You're sucking a big green donkey dick."

Careful. Donkey's girlfriend is a fricking dragon.

 

[intim8]

Careful. Donkey's girlfriend is a fricking dragon.

It wasn't me. Whatever that writer said, he's lying. I've never even met Donkey, honest.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm starting to feel like one of those 19th century explorers.

"Don't go, StillStunned! It's too dangerous!"
"I must! For mankind's sake, I must test the limits of mankind's world."

Seriously, it's actually coming along quite well. I think there'll be a readership for it too.