One interesting thing about yourself

Since we're in that season, I've painted my own Christmas cards (gauche on rice paper) for forty-seven years now. Over 100 cards individually painted each year. One of the thrills I've had was to attend winter parties of friends and to find my cards framed and hung as part of their Christmas decoration.
 
I once came up with a joke. Six months later, someone from halfway across the country (I live in a small country) told me my own joke, almost word for word.
 
When I was six, I ran into a parked car on my bicycle. If I wasn't circumcised already, I would have been at that moment. 5 stitches.
 
I can't whistle, either. If I try really hard, I can whistle one note, but I have never been able to whistle a tune. I cannot make my lips pucker the right way.

I realized relatively late in life (late-40s, post-divorce) that I'm much kinkier than I had thought I was. In addition to reading a lot of the smutty stuff we do here, I got interested in rope play, and I have a collection of 6mm hemp rope which I have used to enjoyable results with various partners.
 
Politically, I'm right of Orphan Annie but left of Sandy. Or is I'm right of Laurel but left of Hardy? I can't remember for sure.
 
When I was 12 I had a farm tractor run over me. Not just part of me like my foot or something, but my entire body. And if you're mentally picturing one of those little mini garden tractors, don't. This was a full-sized farm tractor with 1000 lbs. of added weight on each wheel.

My dad worked for a dairy and I learned to drive the tractors when I was 10 to pull a wagon full of chopped green feed out to the herd. My uncle (who is only 5 years older than I am) had gone to work for the dairy and wanted to know how to drive the tractor I was using. This thing had a really weird gear shifter. Instead of shifting front to rear, it shifted side to side. I was standing on the ground in front of the rear tire with the tractor running trying to show him how to shift.

A long story but he was being a teenage jackass, got off the tractor and walked away. I got angry and slapped the gear lever which promptly popped into reverse. I grabbed the lever and gave it a pull, trying to get it back into neutral. Instead, it popped into 1st. gear. Before I could move, the rear tire grabbed my toe and pushed me to the ground. All I remember is that fucking tire looming over me as the air was pushed out of my lungs. It ran up my leg, over my chest and off my left shoulder. My uncle stood watching it happen. I think he was frozen with surprise and terror at what was taking place. He finally came out of it as the tire rolled off my shoulder, jumped on and shut it off.

He helped me up and took me to my dad who drove us to the hospital, even though there was no outward signs of injury. They x-rayed my chest and said that everything looked okay. The only indication anything had happened was the muddy herringbone tire tracks over the sweat-shirt I was wearing and the corresponding red welts on my chest. Had those not been there I believe the medical staff would have thought I was lying.


Comshaw
 
I got into hockey out of the blue when I was 20. (my fam loathed sports other than fishing) It drove a series of bad and dangerous decisions.

Fell down the obsession rabbit hole like you can when you have the responsibilities of being a 20yo. :ROFLMAO:

Looking at the schedule (inet was dial up & barely a thing) I went all Beautiful Mind: Youthful Moron Edition and "saw" a magical itinerary to watch like 1/2 of all the teams in the league over a 10 day span (that included a breaking my Mom's heart Thanksgiving)
Back to back except the St. Louis leg (was supposed to visit friends)

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Washington
Carolina
Pittsburg (wrong time on ticket?!!)
Columbus (Blizzard)
St Louis (friends Dad had heart attack so no meet)
Nashville (haunted hotel. No upcharge for death smell.)
Atlanta (RIP Thrashers and my favorite wallet)
Tampa Bay (baby Southern Gentleman introduced to FL drivers.)

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Miami (ticket *says* I was there. I don't remember any of it but the multiple overtimes. Didn't let out until 1AM not late 10ish as planned)

The absolute HEIGHT of stupidity was being sure I could handle the drive from Miami back home OVER THANKSGIVING WEEKEND to make it back for work at 7AM Monday.

Realized I F*d up so left Miami SUN at 4am. Drove nonstop to get home at 4:30am the following day. No idea how I didn't crash the car from exhaustion. My driving soundtrack was more side of the highway rumble strips than the Emma and Jurassic Park audiobook cassettes I brought. 😬

Made it to work.
Promptly went comatose at my desk. (notable b/c I can't sleep anywhere but basically my bed. Planes, trains, cars, recliners, at school, never happened.)

Awoke at 10:30ish to a woman screaming in my headset trying to wake a uncommonly snoring me.

Passed out. None of the caller "dings" or their screaming were enough to wake me up from 7:45 to 10:30am. As the only Texas specialist loan officer that day (long story but new laws made Texas a Gold Rush for the bank if you had the proper training) I likely slept through maybe 10 mil+ dollars in loans for the bank.

Write up was brutal but honestly true. :ROFLMAO:

For a little while there, there was the assumption I was clearly on drugs (age, my loopiness, my incoherent babbling of hockey stuff, again MY AGE) so they were debating testing me.

My boss knew me though and how vanilla I was through and through with work stuff (every team after work get together I teetotaled even with a clear runway to get wrecked) so avoided that "substance program" nonsense. (plus, as the only 20yo I was testing all the freaking time so if I was using, they'd nail me later)

Got a ride home. Slept like the dead. Minded my Ps and Qs for the next month.

Would not recommend.
 
When I was 12 I had a farm tractor run over me. Not just part of me like my foot or something, but my entire body. And if you're mentally picturing one of those little mini garden tractors, don't. This was a full-sized farm tractor with 1000 lbs. of added weight on each wheel.

My dad worked for a dairy and I learned to drive the tractors when I was 10 to pull a wagon full of chopped green feed out to the herd. My uncle (who is only 5 years older than I am) had gone to work for the dairy and wanted to know how to drive the tractor I was using. This thing had a really weird gear shifter. Instead of shifting front to rear, it shifted side to side. I was standing on the ground in front of the rear tire with the tractor running trying to show him how to shift.

A long story but he was being a teenage jackass, got off the tractor and walked away. I got angry and slapped the gear lever which promptly popped into reverse. I grabbed the lever and gave it a pull, trying to get it back into neutral. Instead, it popped into 1st. gear. Before I could move, the rear tire grabbed my toe and pushed me to the ground. All I remember is that fucking tire looming over me as the air was pushed out of my lungs. It ran up my leg, over my chest and off my left shoulder. My uncle stood watching it happen. I think he was frozen with surprise and terror at what was taking place. He finally came out of it as the tire rolled off my shoulder, jumped on and shut it off.

He helped me up and took me to my dad who drove us to the hospital, even though there was no outward signs of injury. They x-rayed my chest and said that everything looked okay. The only indication anything had happened was the muddy herringbone tire tracks over the sweat-shirt I was wearing and the corresponding red welts on my chest. Had those not been there I believe the medical staff would have thought I was lying.


Comshaw

You got lucky. We had a neighbor up the road who was mowing hay. He got off the tractor to move a rock or something and the tractor slipped into gear. The mower went over him and tore his legs off. I remember the LifeFlight helicopter landing in the field. Of course, it was too late.
 
Suffice to say, Carlos Mencia was a popular comedian whose career took a nose dive when several other comedians accused him of plagiarizing their jokes.
I feel that this factoid is more interesting than the one interesting thing I have going for me.

Oh no, am I starting to sound like JohnSm123?!
 
A little over six years ago, I had an aneurysm burst in my head. That particular kind has a 50% survival rate *IF* you seek immediate medical attention. It was more than 24 hours before I got checked out, and my wife thought I just had the flu. Went to urgent care, they did a cat scan and immediately got an ambulance to take me to the hospital. Fortunately the one brain surgeon who could fix it without having to open the back of my skull was available. I spent two weeks in the hospital recovering and when it was time for me to get up and walk around, I was able to manage it without needing supports like a walker (which was too low for me anyway). They called me the miracle patient because I not only survived but also I didn’t have any deficits as a result.
 
I’ll give you three things-

- I too am able to constantly sneak up on people without trying and startle them. As a metal gear fan, I tell them the Boss trained me well.

- in my days as a bouncer at a club on Austin’s east sixth street after college, I was nicknamed Harry Potter due to physical resemblance. Funny enough, a large black dog knocking me down as a toddler gave me the forehead scar.

- I have written extensively about swingers, but the only times I’ve set foot in actual swingers’ clubs I’ve been disappointed. Colette’s in Austin for example features an uncomfortable atmosphere, too high a price for single men, only urinals in the men’s room, no women receptive to my advances and no employee guides like someone would get in my ficverse (Inside Out can set you up with such wing-people if you want them, it’s mandatory your first night if not an experienced swinger, see my stories Fire Woman, Passion 5, and A Step Up for examples of Doug Ramsay playing such a role). Not a place I plan on revisiting as a divorced person in need of comfort. Hopefully regular clubs will be more supportive of my one night stand habit when I attempt to indulge it among them soon.

Not easy to score when unscripted, but not good when a club doesn’t help.
 
You got lucky. We had a neighbor up the road who was mowing hay. He got off the tractor to move a rock or something and the tractor slipped into gear. The mower went over him and tore his legs off. I remember the LifeFlight helicopter landing in the field. Of course, it was too late.
Farm equipment can kill you in a heartbeat. We had two brothers here who were farmers. They worked together but also fought like cats and dogs. One day one of the wives got concerned because they hadn't come home for lunch so she went looking for them. She found them in a field pretty mangled up. They both survived but neither would say what happened. From what could be pieced together, It appeared they were hauling a hay rake with a tractor, got into a fight, fell off the tractor and got run over by the hay rake.

That's one of the weird things about me, I'm lucky when it comes to life and death stuff. Not so much with the little things like gambling and such. If I detailed how many times I've walked away from things that should have killed me, everyone reading would consider me a liar.


Comshaw
 
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