Funniest Negative Comments?

[Victoria14xs]

Sadly, I don’t have anything worthy of answering my own question. For those who do have a funny/bewildering/oddball comment to share, please do.
I’ve seen a couple in unrelated threads but would love to read some more…

 

[EmilyMiller]

Sadly, I don’t have anything worthy of answering my own question. For those who do have a funny/bewildering/oddball comment to share, please do.
I’ve seen a couple in unrelated threads but would love to read some more…

“This is an untagged lesbian story, the 'marriage' is a lesbian one. This is merely additional contamination of the Loving Wives concept by communities outside of the straight, heterosexual paradigm. This story explores fetishism and BDSM in addition to the main purpose of offering validation to a deviant lifestyle. None of this story was the stuff of Loving Wives. The writer stooped to deceit in order to have their material posted in Loving Wives, no doubt a category that offers more views than either Lesbian Sex, Fetish, or BDSM. Most likely combined! These categories are like Picasso paintings for the soul and are not the venues of typical Loving Wives clientele. Regardless of receiving five star comments, this piece was below three stars, at 2.76 when writing this review. This means that more of the readership hit 'Dislike' or 'Hate It' than anything higher than three stars. I suspect selective comment deletion is the reason for this, as there are only 18 comments posted. Keeping the supporters, tossing the non-complementary jibes.”

On Harper’s Reckoning.

It probably goes without saying, but I hadn’t deleted a single comment at the point that my dear friend Anonymous decided to comment.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Shame!!

I’m a bad girl .

Em

 

[Djmac1031]

I wrote a story called My Sisters Skincare, about a brother convinced by his sister to cum on her face to treat her acne. Absolutely ridiculous premise, I know.

Anyway, there was this comment:

by muskyboy on 12/02/2021
Unrealistically reluctant brother

Followed later by this one:

by redpoppies on 12/10/2021
I agree with muskyboy. Where did his anti-incest feelings come from? He's not a Boy Scout. We don't read of him going to church, or that his dad and/or mom were uptight conservatives, or his uncle molested him, or whatever. So all his protestations seem formulaic and perfunctory. So find another way to heighten the tension in the story, or provide sufficient evidence to support your character's position.

I get incest stories are fantasies.

But both of these commentors seem of the mind that wanting to fuck your own sister is the DEFAULT setting and that there was no reason why the brother should have been reluctant to do so.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

My favorite negative comment was on a very experimental story that the commenter called "pretentious and overwritten" which is understandable. That's not the funny part, though.

Back in college some friends and I played a game making up definitions for unusual and seldom used words. One of those wrong definitions stuck with me all these years and I snuck it into the text as an inside joke. I didn't think anyone but me would notice.

Imagine how tickled I was when the commenter called me out on it.

"I don't thnk you know what langret means, either."

 

[TheF1x3r]

"I couldn't enjoy the story because it was written in the second person"

I stated that it was written in the second person in the description and the intro

 

[TheF1x3r]

I wrote a story called My Sisters Skincare, about a brother convinced by his sister to cum on her face to treat her acne. Absolutely ridiculous premise, I know.

Anyway, there was this comment:



Followed quickly by this one:



I get incest stories are fantasies.

But both of these commentors seem of the mind that wanting to fuck your own sister is the DEFAULT setting and that there was no reason why the brother should have been reluctant to do so.

Wow. Just Wow. I think they can close the thread now

 

[SimonDoom]

My all-time favorite negative comment, although I've had quite a few doozies:

Regardless of what some these people say this was an extremely bad story im not going to tell you what i think you want to hear to try and be nice and not hurt your feelings my 5 Year old niece can write a better story then this it was so bad i hope this was your only story cause i tell you if not you should stop posting them before you ruin this site i wished i was blind and couldn't read that's how bad it is tell you what you want to learn to write an actual decent story take writing classes about 100 times a week no scratch that not even that will help you write a decent story do us all a favor and quit just completely forget how to write

Also this one, to my first Loving Wives story:

What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[EmilyMiller]

“This is an untagged lesbian story, the 'marriage' is a lesbian one. This is merely additional contamination of the Loving Wives concept by communities outside of the straight, heterosexual paradigm. This story explores fetishism and BDSM in addition to the main purpose of offering validation to a deviant lifestyle. None of this story was the stuff of Loving Wives. The writer stooped to deceit in order to have their material posted in Loving Wives, no doubt a category that offers more views than either Lesbian Sex, Fetish, or BDSM. Most likely combined! These categories are like Picasso paintings for the soul and are not the venues of typical Loving Wives clientele. Regardless of receiving five star comments, this piece was below three stars, at 2.76 when writing this review. This means that more of the readership hit 'Dislike' or 'Hate It' than anything higher than three stars. I suspect selective comment deletion is the reason for this, as there are only 18 comments posted. Keeping the supporters, tossing the non-complementary jibes.”

On Harper’s Reckoning.

It probably goes without saying, but I hadn’t deleted a single comment at the point that my dear friend Anonymous decided to comment.

Em

For what it’s worth. Lesbians have existed as long as humanoids (and indeed apes and simians in general) have; same as homosexual men. Lesbian marriage took a while to catch up with reality. But it’s exists. We exist. And we aren’t going anywhere. Get used to it.

View attachment 2288138

And yes, I’m getting married to a guy. Doesn’t stop me being gay as well.

Em

 

[Smuttyandfun]

My all-time favorite negative comment, although I've had quite a few doozies:



Also this one, to my first Loving Wives story:

I guess the period key on his computer doesn't work, because it sounds like he never took a breath while pounding out his crazy rant.

 

[Djmac1031]

Wow. Just Wow. I think they can close the thread now

But wait, there's more!

Story: My Daughter, The Nudist
Premise: A father must learn to cope with his 19 year old daughter's new lifestyle choice of walking around the house nude.

Twist: Dad and daughter never fuck. Never even touch each other. Dad was tempted but ultimately gets over it.

No incest.

Most readers got it.

Except this guy:

by Screenplayer on 06/27/2023
Idiotic. What the heck is the matter with Phil (aka you?) She's not a child, and he wouldnt be "exploiting" her, for gods sake. In fact she's far less of a child than he is - she could have taught him so much about intimacy. Theres so much more to mature sex - physical bonding - than Phil denied to them both, with much permanent damage and estrangement, because of his/your thoroughly fatuous (fat-headed) attachment to childish Sunday school mumbo jumbo, and archaic Augustinian control mechanisms. And yet he/you embraced prostitution, and the amorality of all that tawdry, scripted deception and secrecy.
Life is so short, with so few chances of experiencing something special, without a harmful downside.
You've saddened my whole day.

 

[yowser]

I don't have any that are 'intentionally' funny, but it's amazing what folks will say.

To educate you:
"Hair thingy" is called a scrunchy. This story is a bit absurd.

To smack you down to size:

No need to show off your vocabulary.

Too many words to describe very little action, and no feelings, but the basis of a good storey.

This was terrible.My problem was that you made him such an idiotic fool. Could he have had the IQ of a gnat? I'm surprised he could get out of bed in the morning. A ridiculous story.

Express regret:
Now I want a blow job but chances of that happening are zero - it'll have to be a crafty wank instead :-(

 

[Smuttyandfun]

But wait, there's more!

Story: My Daughter, The Nudist
Premise: A father must learn to cope with his 19 year old daughter's new lifestyle choice of walking around the house nude.

Twist: Dad and daughter never fuck. Never even touch each other. Dad was tempted but ultimately gets over it.

No incest.

Most readers got it.

Except this guy:

Shame on you for saddening his whole day!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Getting married? Congratulations, Ms. Miller.

Thanks .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

But wait, there's more!

Story: My Daughter, The Nudist
Premise: A father must learn to cope with his 19 year old daughter's new lifestyle choice of walking around the house nude.

Twist: Dad and daughter never fuck. Never even touch each other. Dad was tempted but ultimately gets over it.

No incest.

Most readers got it.

Except this guy:

I remember his quote and thought - as I so often do round here - I’m so fucking vanilla.

Em

 

[Djmac1031]

And yes, I’m getting married to a guy.

Congrats.

But does this mean I have to call you Mrstress instead?

 

[BobbyBrandt]

View attachment 2288140
Uh... None of these points are at all related to the story that the comment was left on. If someone recognizes the story, I'll be glad to pass the comment along to you.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I don't have any that are 'intentionally' funny, but it's amazing what folks will say.

To educate you:
"Hair thingy" is called a scrunchy. This story is a bit absurd.

To smack you down to size:

No need to show off your vocabulary.

Too many words to describe very little action, and no feelings, but the basis of a good storey.

This was terrible.My problem was that you made him such an idiotic fool. Could he have had the IQ of a gnat? I'm surprised he could get out of bed in the morning. A ridiculous story.

Express regret:
Now I want a blow job but chances of that happening are zero - it'll have to be a crafty wank instead :-(

This wasn’t funny - was part of a serious review (by someone known for posting snarky ones). I haven’t dug out the exact quote, but it was about my vocabulary and probably 100% accurate if I’m honest.

“You don’t need to keep trying to convince the reader that you’re intelligent.”

That told me. I have tried to tone down my use of recherché and sesquipedalian morphemes.

Em

 

[Smuttyandfun]

This was a comment I deleted from my story, Three Little Words. Most readers seemed to enjoy it, but this guy, not so much.


Giselle is a selfish bitch!! Older men younger women are better because old bitches are full of shit!!!
Right into chapter, stopped reading!!!
Also, the bitch Giselle allowed Chuck to touch and talk inappropriately to her - the pattern cobtinues because this old bitch being a MD doesnt stop it!!!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Congrats.

But does this mean I have to call you Mrstress instead?

You can call me what you want, hun .

Em

 

[Lifestyle66]

From my story: "A Different Proposition - 750 Words", which I posted in Romance:

"This is funny in a very dysfunctional way, but at least the dude is going into this with his eyes wide open. So, if he or she ever fucks up, well he knows like Barbie, SHE WANTS IT ALL!!!!!!!"

 

[madelinemasoch]

I've never laughed.

 

[Lifestyle66]

From the story "My Wife Wants a Hall Pass" posted in Loving Wives:

"Hell, where are the sheep and dogs? Seems like she has fucked about everybody and every thing else. May as well do some barn yard animals as well."

 

[Winter_Fare]

Only comment that genuinely made me laugh, was some guy complaining about an evil bitch demon threatening to dismember the MC. Said I should have tagged for "threats of amputation".

For the record I already used all ten tags so.... Shrug.

 

[StillStunned]

Most of my comments are very positive, fortunately. But twice now I've had someone complain that Sal can't be a petite girl, but only a fat, bald gangster.

Maybe they're right. Maybe the POV character in the stories is deluding himself into thinking he's having sex with his sister.