Vitriolhack
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I did not say weird, I said interesting.
Is there more to the story?
Could he perhaps feel like he is not satisfying you during intercourse?
Pussy worship
- Thread starter Vitriolhack
- Start date
Is there more to the story?
Could he perhaps feel like he is not satisfying you during intercourse?
I know you didn't say weird. I said weird. But I probably should not have said anything to start with. I am new to these forums, so please give me some time. Right now it feels uncomfortable discussing this out here. I'm sorry.
Vitriolhack
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Don’t be sorry Lea, I am not trying to give you a hard time. Honestly, this is a judgement free thread, like all my threads for that matter.
Feel free to say anything.
In general, I don’t want to use synonyms when talking about precise matters.
You are always welcome here.
I'm sorry I ran off. When I found these forums, I thought maybe I could find someone to talk to. My husband and I have been married for only 2 years, and our sex life has been "clumsy." That's the only way I know how to explain it. But he's my best friend, and I've known him since the 6th grade, and now everything's gotten weird, and I don't know how to handle it. We've been inseparable best friends for so many years, and now it's like I don't know who he is or what he wants anymore. I've never had a problem I couldn't overcome, and now I'm just completely and utterly lost. I need someone to talk to, but I can't walk up to my mom or a friend and begin discussing my sex life. It's an impossible and frustrating situation.
Sorry for rambling.
Vitriolhack
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You are not rambling, you are just expressing yourself with a difficult subject that clearly stirs up big emotions.
Is sex the only time you feel weird with him? Has that feeling spoiled the other aspect of your life with him?
How are non sexual conversations with him?
If he has been your best friend from 6th grade, I think it’s safe to assume that, you guys can talk about anything.
If you were to talk to him, what would you talk about?
And last, but not least, why do you think you are feeling this way? Were you not happy and satisfied before you got married? I am assuming you guys had premarital sex. It’s ok to feel the way you do, try, if you can, sorting out your feelings before you bring him into it. Seeking help is courageous, I would suggest, if you can, talking to a professional.
Feel better soon.
PersonalFavors
Voyer
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Lea, Some stupid questions as my suggestions are simple. Like you could start over again. Is he and you the others first and/or only? When you were younger did you masturbate? Did he and you talk about it?
I am not sure who initiates sex for the two of you now but do it kind of naughty and be really interested in how hard you can make him. Let him feel how good it is when you want him to want you to want him. Is he interested in how wet you are? Maybe once you have his attention you could show him. Maybe even show him how you touch yourself and need him to see if he can do it.
I'm sorry if it seems redundant, silly or even stupid. But for me the innocence and sheer open sharing of your libido would send me over the top.
Does he allow you to blow him? When he comes does it shoot with some distance? Take your time getting him there and let his cum fly to his chest. If you increase the intensity of climax and make it fun he may want to do more for you. I can't imagine he is not horny. I'm 58 and it hasn't let down a bit. Experiencing innocence again would be fantasy for me.
Anyway, after you have both learned the mechanic's of what you like with love and affection in foreplay, sex has to improve. That is how it always worked for me. Yet the fuel for my drive is her pleasure. Knowing I did that and feeling her want me to is the most intense pleasure I get from sex. The rewards have been amazing.
Best of luck. It is hard to have this conversation without sharing what I like from a male's perspective without knowing more about you and him.
I have been trying to build up the courage to answer your questions. I will try.
It most often feels weird during sex, but not always. If we go out and there are other guys around, he makes these comments that make me very uneasy. I usually respond in a way that is not very nice, and it ruins the mood, and we both go quiet. I can't talk about that in more detail out here, but in these forums I have been reading people posting similar ideas. At least I have that to consider, but Holy God! - there is stuff out here that is totally bizarre! If we are having a normal conversation, we get along like we always did. We talk mostly about work and friends and what we might be doing next.
Our sex life is now almost always him giving me oral. Every time he asks me if I had an orgasm, and I always tell him I did, but how do I know when I've had an orgasm? I've read about it online, but different sites say different things. It feels good. Sometimes it feels really good. Is that on orgasm? How long should it take for me to have an orgasm? Because on the rare occasion that we fuck, it doesn't last very long. But how long should it last? We don't make it into any ranges I've read so far, and I know that makes him very self-conscious. I tell him it was great, but he goes quiet. We really don't know how to discuss our sex life.
I know I am the dumbest girl in the world when it comes to sex, but my parents are very conservative and overly protective. His parents are ultra conservative. I was not allowed to have a cell phone until I was a senior in high school, so it probably comes as no surprise that he and I were virgins when we got married.
I could never sit across from a therapist and discuss my sex life. I can't even discuss it with my husband.
I am sorry to have written so much, but these forums are the only time i have ever talked about this with anyone. Thank you for listening.
Last edited:
I will have to respond later. I have to start dinner.
We would never discuss masturbation. I know I couldn't.
You said that maybe I could show him what I want. Someone in a PM said the same thing. I guess maybe I could, but I am afraid that if I do, maybe that would make him feel even more self conscious. I will have to think about that, but it would really be the blind leading the blind. But one of us has to do something, and I know he is not going to talk to anyone or go online and try to find answers. That is not his personality.
I'm sorry, but that is all I am willing to respond to on your questions, PersonalFavors. The others make me feel uneasy.
Thank you and everyone for the comments and suggestions. It's nice just to be able to get some of this out of my system.
Dalelaw2164
Switched at birth.
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Lea, I’m throwing my unsolicited hat in the ring, so to speak.
You mentioned that he makes comments around other guys that make you uncomfortable, and the conversation goes quiet… without knowing the gist of the comments or being in the moment, it’s hard to know what’s going on there, but it seems like an important part of the puzzle.
Perhaps he struggles to feel masculine around other guys and is puffing out his chest at your expense… or equally likely, he is turned on at the thought of those men dominating you sexually. I could be completely off base, and have no intent to offend you, but an exgirlfriend told me that her ex husband would weirdly try to push her off on his friends, and decades later she still was puzzled as to why. I didn’t share my thoughts with her on that as I still ponder that whole dynamic myself… there is a ton of “informative material” here on Lit regarding that lol.
Was he also raised conservative as you were? That’s a sure fire way to place hurdles between the two of you regarding open communication about sex and desires.
I began dating a very close friend in my last months in the navy, a year or so later we were walking up the aisle… against my better judgment, as I was so not ready, and felt trapped from day one. We were together about three years, but I was in “run” mode the whole time and finally we parted, with anguish on her part, and anguish and crushing guilt (and incredible relief) on mine… not saying you guys shouldn’t be together, just saying that I feel your distress.
Open up to each other or it won’t work.
You mentioned that he makes comments around other guys that make you uncomfortable, and the conversation goes quiet… without knowing the gist of the comments or being in the moment, it’s hard to know what’s going on there, but it seems like an important part of the puzzle.
Perhaps he struggles to feel masculine around other guys and is puffing out his chest at your expense… or equally likely, he is turned on at the thought of those men dominating you sexually. I could be completely off base, and have no intent to offend you, but an exgirlfriend told me that her ex husband would weirdly try to push her off on his friends, and decades later she still was puzzled as to why. I didn’t share my thoughts with her on that as I still ponder that whole dynamic myself… there is a ton of “informative material” here on Lit regarding that lol.
Was he also raised conservative as you were? That’s a sure fire way to place hurdles between the two of you regarding open communication about sex and desires.
I began dating a very close friend in my last months in the navy, a year or so later we were walking up the aisle… against my better judgment, as I was so not ready, and felt trapped from day one. We were together about three years, but I was in “run” mode the whole time and finally we parted, with anguish on her part, and anguish and crushing guilt (and incredible relief) on mine… not saying you guys shouldn’t be together, just saying that I feel your distress.
Open up to each other or it won’t work.
Vitriolhack
I hear you
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Lea,
You are not the only one here that comes from a religious upbringing, present company included.
Don’t be sorry about the questions or length of response, this is, primarily a literary site, a few lines or even pages are not going to scare most readers here.
It takes courage to discuss one’s feelings and even more to seek out the help we realize we need. I fully understand your hesitation, it is ABSOLUTELY normal. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
A reader asked you in a post if you have already discovered yourself? In essence, some know that we are sexually satisfied when they feel closer to the other person after the sexual physical part. Do you feel like cuddling with him after?
Have you ever masturbated yourself? Have you ever had a feeling like you think that you may “die” if you continue? Little deaths some call it. But you will NOT die, it’s simply is the maximum level of arousal you can feel. The act immediately real eases a set of endorphins that induce a “good” feeling. There is a reason why some are hooked on that feeling. Immediately after that feeling follows a refraction period where you can’t keep going on. That period varies with everyone, but is usually shorter with women.
I will not mensplain or give you any advice, I will simply recommend you to know yourself a little more, and recognize what makes you feel good. Once you are ok with yourself you can be ok with someone else.
Enjoy yourself, it’s natural to ask questions and your feelings are totally valid.
Nothing you said offended me. I am getting a real education reading these forums, and from the number of replies and the length of some of the threads, I think I can tell what is popular and what is not. This thread, CFNM, humiliation, and some other activities I am too shy to even mention, are things I never could have imagined. I am trying to keep an open mind.
We have a dinner date tonight. We will see what happens when we get home.
His family is ultra conservative, much worse than my parents.
Vitriolhack
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If he grew up ultra conservative maybe he was always told how sinful thoughts will lead you straight to hell!
You are both old enough to walk a slightly different path, one that you both feel comfortable in.
Dalelaw2164
Switched at birth.
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Hope your dinner date went well, and didn’t end up in an awkward silence.
Sooo, one thing to keep in mind that I believe to be true- as far as what is and isn’t possible, what is and isn’t fantasized about, and what’s going through a man’s mind about fifty percent of the time… my long winded point here is, speaking from personal experience as a man who has not revealed his deepest fantasies to his woman, well, not all of them anyway- if you think your man is having deep hard core sexual fantasies that you don’t know about, you’re right.
Now take what you think he’s fantasizing about, add it to what he’s told you he’s fantasizing about, and multiply all that times five. That is a more realistic indication of what’s going on in his head.
Sorry. It just comes with the dick.
That doesn’t mean he necessarily wants all that to actually happen, we do have some sense of restraint most of the time.
I believe a conservative upbringing is one of the more damaging things that can happen to a person…
My old man had a stack of playboys in his man cave when I was a kid, and somehow he found out that my best friend and I were rifling through them. I remember overhearing him telling my mom about it in a bit of an upset tone, and her answer has stuck with me- “for godsakes G_______ , they’re just bodies!”
Very cool response, I’ve always thought. It helps that we were lapsed Catholics I suppose
PersonalFavors
Voyer
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Lea,
You may not realize it, but you answered several of my questions. So much so I do not know where to start.
I also know I am not qualified how to respond to him being an ass hole in front of his friends. Calmly. I think it was Sands that said something like you can't tear out individual pages but you can throw the whole book in the fire.
As for the rest of the sensual part. I think you should find your climax. I am not sure how you do that. First. And first, not being sure is nothing to be ashamed about. Only talk about it to someone you trust. A doctor like obgyn, or a friend you really trust. If you try a guy he is going to want to help you. I wish you had a female friend to speak to the issue with. If you did not freak her out assistance of some kind would think be readily available. Example. When I was 25 or so in my first job after university my boss invited everyone to her pool for dogs and burgers. I didn't get the memo and was the only one showed up. Her neighbor was there and they were drinking some kind of schnopps. My boss had worked out and was stiff like she pulled something laying on the floor in leotards and a one piece like a playboy bunny. Her friend was complaining about being divorced from a dead jerk, "but damn he knew how to lick my pussy". My boss was like what? I got a little nervous and at the same time very curious as I was attracted to this woman 11 years older than I. Her friend asked "you're single, when is the last time you masturbated"? The friend was an RN. My boss had no idea. We talked a little more and she had her son from one time on their wedding night. He had basically done it and walked away. She filed for divorce. So her friend pried on and she did not know what an orgasm was and had certainly not had one. I got instructions to wait for my boos to come down and her friends left. Like you nervous but she relaxed and I made her comfortable and in order to trust me open to talkng about it as I went on my quest for her's. So lucky I was successful as those next two years were the best sex moments of my life. And hers I am sure. Frequent and sometimes in the craziest of places. We did have to be in the office unsuspect all day every day...
Anyway. You are not alone. I don't have a pussy so from my point of view I would start with you have been lying to. You do say he goes down on you. I asked if you ever jerked him off. Find some quite time. Lights on. Only fondle and caress his balls. Find what makes him rock hard without doing much of anything to his shaft or head. Hopefully he is enjoying himself so you can curiously find your way to his head and shaft. I know when I jerk off I like the head and on the front side facing away from me just below the head at the top of the shaft is my most sensitive area. Think of it as a man clit. Go slow. Let him tell you what feels good. Keep on hand on his balls and use it to notice how you can feel his erection underneath. It will end at his butt hole. You can avoid the hole for now. But become aware of the hard part in the taint. To the sides and where the curve of his butt is are super sensitive to light caress and once on your way to his climax will only elevate the intensity of pleasure. Take your time. If you become aroused you might finish him off blowing him. But, your goal here is feeling him cum. That one hand on his balls and the 'under' erection will pulse when he ejaculates. I am suggesting you feel that first hand.
In the times where innocent play was possible getting to explore like this with a lady was enlightening where I think it will help you. Men and women are both human. That man clit I mentioned is directly related your clit in location. Women I have been with that had a larger clit, the first thing I noticed is how closely it resembled the head on my penis when it became erect. By yourself not having discovered you "spot" where things feel good enough to build up and release your energy, find some water based lube with no glycerine. Something slippery. Or if you can let you mind travel and get wet. Use that. Lower below your clit the labia major and minor house all the nerves where the guys balls are. You just have to discover what feels good for you. Jerking your guy off successfully should give you an idea how to rub yourself. When I rub my girls clit or lick it for her she cannot hide that she came. It is like there is a little squirrel in there knocking to get out. Others there are even more muscles involved like contractions. Both sex a "good" cum can't be stopped. Have you ever hit your funny bone? Like that it is on you.
As you get better at knowing yourself I should think if you get on top like you are on a motorcycle or with your legs out straight beside him. Or mine likes my legs spread and hers on the inside. She and many before her usually start slow and sometimes go fast. That boss I mentioned could latch on to me and it reminded me of the arm on the sewing machine going real fast. With their body my prick is pointed at the ceiling straight up. Their back arched so their hips are as far back as they will go. Bobbing their pussy up and down me with just the G-Spot touching. That climax I can feel strong pulsations much like when I ejaculate. Anyway very similar.
I am not sure how women approach massage. I had a female friend that loved her masseur. He gave a great massage and always let her cum. She said he was unique as she would climax face down. I am not sure how a lady finds a massage like that. If i were a lady I think I would want a lady to do it for me too. Long shot but a conversation in a massage could actually work.
The best would be to have the conversation with he you are dedicated to life's journey with. After you sensually jerk him off. See if he can do you? I just don't know. I should think you could find in your mind what you do find arousing. What makes you wet. Think about that. Find the ticklish area at the top of your pussy and be gentle. When your clitoris show herself you should feel it. One girlfriend I had, we called it the bean. Like a guy with foreskin hers was under a little hood. Another that had a little hood it would come out and the hood was like mini petals on a flower and the clit so sensitive I was not allowed near it. Off to one side or the other, above or below, but direct contact was as sensitive as my dick after I cum.
I hope these similarities are helpful. I don't want you to say I am some kind of perv. But all my sexual life, my lovers climax is more important than mine.
When you do find your first climax, you will know it and hopefully remember how to get back there. And as a woman you have more than a clit and G-Spot. Sometimes they have needed all of me and had to get in a position to where I could penetrate deeper. Vaginal orgasm. She would say like my whole pussy cums. Bam Bam Bam really hard. And mostly by mistake the gushers or even squirts. My girl now is a gusher. Once we get her there it is super wet. She can't stop it and I know because it is so wet, hot and she breathes different. If I stop what I was or am doing she yells a bit or will barrel roll me and get on top and get what she needs wether I like it or not. The others were kind of surprise to both of us. The gusher from time to time it would happen as she lifted off of me while on top. The squirter I would be beside her licking her with one hand on her butt and one or two fingers with pressure on her G-Spot. Squirt, kind of pee like then spurt spurt spurt. She liked it and for me it was like winning a prize. Usually happened if we were a week or so no sex. Like when I would have to be out of town for work. In any case finding the G-Spot I am sure can be elusive. Even know where "hers" was it was like I had to sneak up on it. Even now it is like that. I also know once I find it, it is shocking a little to me how much I can really rough it up and she begs fro more.
While understanding the mechanics is important, innocence, honestly and closeness with the lights on may be all you need. He doesn't know you didn't cum because he hasn't felt you cum. It remains a mystery to him. My second girlfriend, first after high school showed me. She blew me. I thought I was going to pass out. I never knew something that good even after years of great fun with the first one and oh my probably jerking off 3 to 5 times a day since the first day I figured that out. As I regained my wits about me I, not knowing what I was doing got up to make love to her. She gently pushed me back and said don't you want to do me? That is how I leaned. And for close to a year I practiced every chance I got. I had never been some place so special and to this day believe going down on a woman and her sharing her climax with me is multitudes more intimate than making love. The first time with a woman and she reveals her bush is like her sharing an ultimate secret with me. Honor and worship.
You may not realize it, but you answered several of my questions. So much so I do not know where to start.
I also know I am not qualified how to respond to him being an ass hole in front of his friends. Calmly. I think it was Sands that said something like you can't tear out individual pages but you can throw the whole book in the fire.
As for the rest of the sensual part. I think you should find your climax. I am not sure how you do that. First. And first, not being sure is nothing to be ashamed about. Only talk about it to someone you trust. A doctor like obgyn, or a friend you really trust. If you try a guy he is going to want to help you. I wish you had a female friend to speak to the issue with. If you did not freak her out assistance of some kind would think be readily available. Example. When I was 25 or so in my first job after university my boss invited everyone to her pool for dogs and burgers. I didn't get the memo and was the only one showed up. Her neighbor was there and they were drinking some kind of schnopps. My boss had worked out and was stiff like she pulled something laying on the floor in leotards and a one piece like a playboy bunny. Her friend was complaining about being divorced from a dead jerk, "but damn he knew how to lick my pussy". My boss was like what? I got a little nervous and at the same time very curious as I was attracted to this woman 11 years older than I. Her friend asked "you're single, when is the last time you masturbated"? The friend was an RN. My boss had no idea. We talked a little more and she had her son from one time on their wedding night. He had basically done it and walked away. She filed for divorce. So her friend pried on and she did not know what an orgasm was and had certainly not had one. I got instructions to wait for my boos to come down and her friends left. Like you nervous but she relaxed and I made her comfortable and in order to trust me open to talkng about it as I went on my quest for her's. So lucky I was successful as those next two years were the best sex moments of my life. And hers I am sure. Frequent and sometimes in the craziest of places. We did have to be in the office unsuspect all day every day...
Anyway. You are not alone. I don't have a pussy so from my point of view I would start with you have been lying to. You do say he goes down on you. I asked if you ever jerked him off. Find some quite time. Lights on. Only fondle and caress his balls. Find what makes him rock hard without doing much of anything to his shaft or head. Hopefully he is enjoying himself so you can curiously find your way to his head and shaft. I know when I jerk off I like the head and on the front side facing away from me just below the head at the top of the shaft is my most sensitive area. Think of it as a man clit. Go slow. Let him tell you what feels good. Keep on hand on his balls and use it to notice how you can feel his erection underneath. It will end at his butt hole. You can avoid the hole for now. But become aware of the hard part in the taint. To the sides and where the curve of his butt is are super sensitive to light caress and once on your way to his climax will only elevate the intensity of pleasure. Take your time. If you become aroused you might finish him off blowing him. But, your goal here is feeling him cum. That one hand on his balls and the 'under' erection will pulse when he ejaculates. I am suggesting you feel that first hand.
In the times where innocent play was possible getting to explore like this with a lady was enlightening where I think it will help you. Men and women are both human. That man clit I mentioned is directly related your clit in location. Women I have been with that had a larger clit, the first thing I noticed is how closely it resembled the head on my penis when it became erect. By yourself not having discovered you "spot" where things feel good enough to build up and release your energy, find some water based lube with no glycerine. Something slippery. Or if you can let you mind travel and get wet. Use that. Lower below your clit the labia major and minor house all the nerves where the guys balls are. You just have to discover what feels good for you. Jerking your guy off successfully should give you an idea how to rub yourself. When I rub my girls clit or lick it for her she cannot hide that she came. It is like there is a little squirrel in there knocking to get out. Others there are even more muscles involved like contractions. Both sex a "good" cum can't be stopped. Have you ever hit your funny bone? Like that it is on you.
As you get better at knowing yourself I should think if you get on top like you are on a motorcycle or with your legs out straight beside him. Or mine likes my legs spread and hers on the inside. She and many before her usually start slow and sometimes go fast. That boss I mentioned could latch on to me and it reminded me of the arm on the sewing machine going real fast. With their body my prick is pointed at the ceiling straight up. Their back arched so their hips are as far back as they will go. Bobbing their pussy up and down me with just the G-Spot touching. That climax I can feel strong pulsations much like when I ejaculate. Anyway very similar.
I am not sure how women approach massage. I had a female friend that loved her masseur. He gave a great massage and always let her cum. She said he was unique as she would climax face down. I am not sure how a lady finds a massage like that. If i were a lady I think I would want a lady to do it for me too. Long shot but a conversation in a massage could actually work.
The best would be to have the conversation with he you are dedicated to life's journey with. After you sensually jerk him off. See if he can do you? I just don't know. I should think you could find in your mind what you do find arousing. What makes you wet. Think about that. Find the ticklish area at the top of your pussy and be gentle. When your clitoris show herself you should feel it. One girlfriend I had, we called it the bean. Like a guy with foreskin hers was under a little hood. Another that had a little hood it would come out and the hood was like mini petals on a flower and the clit so sensitive I was not allowed near it. Off to one side or the other, above or below, but direct contact was as sensitive as my dick after I cum.
I hope these similarities are helpful. I don't want you to say I am some kind of perv. But all my sexual life, my lovers climax is more important than mine.
When you do find your first climax, you will know it and hopefully remember how to get back there. And as a woman you have more than a clit and G-Spot. Sometimes they have needed all of me and had to get in a position to where I could penetrate deeper. Vaginal orgasm. She would say like my whole pussy cums. Bam Bam Bam really hard. And mostly by mistake the gushers or even squirts. My girl now is a gusher. Once we get her there it is super wet. She can't stop it and I know because it is so wet, hot and she breathes different. If I stop what I was or am doing she yells a bit or will barrel roll me and get on top and get what she needs wether I like it or not. The others were kind of surprise to both of us. The gusher from time to time it would happen as she lifted off of me while on top. The squirter I would be beside her licking her with one hand on her butt and one or two fingers with pressure on her G-Spot. Squirt, kind of pee like then spurt spurt spurt. She liked it and for me it was like winning a prize. Usually happened if we were a week or so no sex. Like when I would have to be out of town for work. In any case finding the G-Spot I am sure can be elusive. Even know where "hers" was it was like I had to sneak up on it. Even now it is like that. I also know once I find it, it is shocking a little to me how much I can really rough it up and she begs fro more.
While understanding the mechanics is important, innocence, honestly and closeness with the lights on may be all you need. He doesn't know you didn't cum because he hasn't felt you cum. It remains a mystery to him. My second girlfriend, first after high school showed me. She blew me. I thought I was going to pass out. I never knew something that good even after years of great fun with the first one and oh my probably jerking off 3 to 5 times a day since the first day I figured that out. As I regained my wits about me I, not knowing what I was doing got up to make love to her. She gently pushed me back and said don't you want to do me? That is how I leaned. And for close to a year I practiced every chance I got. I had never been some place so special and to this day believe going down on a woman and her sharing her climax with me is multitudes more intimate than making love. The first time with a woman and she reveals her bush is like her sharing an ultimate secret with me. Honor and worship.
I would like to reply to some of your posts, but first I need to thank you all. I listened to the things you have posted here and things people have told me in PM's, and I knew you were right. I didn't want to admit it at first, but there is an old saying in my industry that basically says, "Money doesn't care what the truth is." It means that if you want to make money, you have to accept reality. So I accepted that there are certain things he wants, and certain things I want, but no one is steering our ship. He is never going to steer the ship. That is not his personality, so I knew I would have to.
Saturday night was completely different than anything we've ever done before. I was nervous, like sooo nervous, but I directed us to do some things I have read about on here. Since I knew he would want to do oral on me, and I knew that the clothed-female-nude-male thing is popular, I combined them. I saw that in a picture on here. To get him to undress first, I had to stall forever brushing my teeth. lol!! But it worked, mostly, and I led him to our family room. It didn't happen as easily as it sounds, but some gentle persuasion moved things along. After that, I got the penetration I wanted. It didn't last very long, and he felt ashamed, but I held on to him to make him know it was OK.
Yesterday was probably the best day of our marriage. We went to an arts and crafts show, and we held hands the whole time we walked around. He acted completely different towards me.
But we were standing in line at a food truck, and I was thinking about how things between us had changed overnight. I remembered when we got married, the wife of his preacher told me something. She said that all I had to do to be a good wife was "be an angel in the kitchen and a hussy in the bedroom." I never took her serious. All this time, it was that simple?
I want to say more, but I have to start work. Thank you so much to everyone. I still have questions, there are things I think he wants that I really don't know how to handle, but for now, I feel like we are a couple again.
I have to go.
Saturday night was completely different than anything we've ever done before. I was nervous, like sooo nervous, but I directed us to do some things I have read about on here. Since I knew he would want to do oral on me, and I knew that the clothed-female-nude-male thing is popular, I combined them. I saw that in a picture on here. To get him to undress first, I had to stall forever brushing my teeth. lol!! But it worked, mostly, and I led him to our family room. It didn't happen as easily as it sounds, but some gentle persuasion moved things along. After that, I got the penetration I wanted. It didn't last very long, and he felt ashamed, but I held on to him to make him know it was OK.
Yesterday was probably the best day of our marriage. We went to an arts and crafts show, and we held hands the whole time we walked around. He acted completely different towards me.
But we were standing in line at a food truck, and I was thinking about how things between us had changed overnight. I remembered when we got married, the wife of his preacher told me something. She said that all I had to do to be a good wife was "be an angel in the kitchen and a hussy in the bedroom." I never took her serious. All this time, it was that simple?
I want to say more, but I have to start work. Thank you so much to everyone. I still have questions, there are things I think he wants that I really don't know how to handle, but for now, I feel like we are a couple again.
I have to go.
Vitriolhack
I hear you
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Thank you for the update Lea.
When he feels more secure, there are things he can do to increase the length of penetration.
Subject for another time.
Have a great day.
When he feels more secure, there are things he can do to increase the length of penetration.
Subject for another time.
Have a great day.
__Nathan1968
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Nothing sadder to me than seeing a natural redhead with all of her red pubes shaved or lasered off. Trimming, shaping are wonderful. But removing all of those glorious ginger pubes is a shame.
NancyPan
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As a submissive guy in an FLR (we are both professionals with advanced degrees), it sounds to me like he needs you to take charge of your sex life and probably his orgasms. Great start!
Lea
Sometimes we men are jerks. Sometimes we just are not on the same page as you Ladies. I want to say that I am proud of you for taking the initiative with him and making SOMETHING happen! Well done!
I am also proud of you for just holding hands and spending that time together. Again...sometimes all it takes for us men is to have someone take the time to "help" us work through some things. I know for myself, that is a big help.
Also sometimes we just need to be held and encouraged.
OK/..am done now but wanted to tell you that I am proud of you for taking the initiative!
Sir
Sometimes we men are jerks. Sometimes we just are not on the same page as you Ladies. I want to say that I am proud of you for taking the initiative with him and making SOMETHING happen! Well done!
I am also proud of you for just holding hands and spending that time together. Again...sometimes all it takes for us men is to have someone take the time to "help" us work through some things. I know for myself, that is a big help.
Also sometimes we just need to be held and encouraged.
OK/..am done now but wanted to tell you that I am proud of you for taking the initiative!
Sir
How would I take charge of his orgasms? I don't know what that means.
NancyPan
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In a Femdom or FLR relationship the male is not allowed to ejaculate without permission from the superior woman. He grants and acknowledges this power exchange. In my marriage, I must ask permission to cum. Masturbation is forbidden. I am allowed to spurt about once every 3-4 weeks. She is provided an orgasm whenever she desires.
After I read your post, I went on a quest, and I have read about FLR on many different websites. There is a wikihow that talks about it in a forthright manner. It talked about how the woman makes the decisions, the woman is often the breadwinner, and the woman leads the marriage. This is already us, and it's one topic I have discussed with a close friend. I have tried to get my husband to take more ownership in our marriage, but I think he feels intimidated because I have a white-collar type of job, and I am more educated. It upsets me because I married him for who he is, and I do not need him to be more than that. I want everyone to know that he is no deadbeat. He works a job, he maintains the house and our yard and the cars, and he does volunteer work with our church, but he doesn't want anything to do with like banking or investment decisions, future planning, vacation planning, what to do on the weekends, or any of that. It's all up to me. I control most things for us, but controlling his orgasms? I don't know about that. I can't imagine he would be OK with that, but I never thought I would be taking the lead in our sex life - which now looks inevitable.
Thank you for your posts, NancyPen. I have a lot to think about.
Thank you, Dom70.
I can see why you say that, but let me say that I don't think my husband is a jerk. I think he and I are both struggling to navigate a landscape that was always demonized when we were kids. I also think he feels a lot of pressure to be masculine, but maybe he doesn't want to live by those rules.
The week started out so good, but we fell into old habits last night and ran into some problems.
I don't want to have to do all the work.
I have to get back to work. Have a nice day.
Vitriolhack
I hear you
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Well, there are different levels of the cuck life.
I would say that, you seem to have already a good grasp of the out of the bedroom part. If you and him are ok with this, then more power to the both of you.
In the bedroom, being a cockuldress is about affirming that your pleasure is the Center of the activity and the cuck derives pleasure from “submitting” to his cockuldress.
These types of relationship are different for everyone, do not feel obliged to live in a narrowly defined sketched definition.
When you are with him sexually, try suggesting to him what you want from him. He may surprise you by obeying your “commands”.
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