A former lover introduced me to it but it was clearly for his pleasure rather than mine. I'm reevaluating the idea using a flogger or a crop. I have another deviant ex that hasn't tried it but is game to so that may be the best way to ensure that I call the shots on the pain level despite him being in charge.Glad to find this thread. I thought I was the only one who enjoyed this and struggled with the too hard/not hard enough matrix.