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Sex & Shenanigans

SherlockianMan said:
I have a question for this group. A bit of set up. I was primarily raised by my grandparents, an older generation, and was always taught to speak to ladies with respect. Because of this, porn calling women sluts and whores turn me off. Women calling themselves the same things makes me sad because it's being derogatory to themselves. So, my questions:

Guys, do you find women caling themselves sluts to be sexy?
Women, do you find giving yourself that title is sexually empowering?

Really just trying to make sense of the appeal. Thanks!
Click to expand...

Yes, empowering. Ok, I will try to explain. My age group came of age during the third wave of feminism, the 90s. A core part of that was reclaiming and redefining words and roles. My age group was a little weird, being born in the 70s, I was raised with the older concepts. Marriage, children, mens jobs, womens job, proper attire for a proper woman, slut is bad etc. Then come the 90s, and there is a whole bunch of women about our age saying ya know what, fuck this. It was integral parts of our music from Alanis, 4 Non Blondes, Garbage, No Doubt, Bikini Kill etc etc. We shredded our wardrobes, we started heading until more male areas, we decided we wanted to have sex without being married and staring down mom life. Actually many young men from our generation were supportive, especially in alternative and punk. Really, they should be, because ok you want less clothing and more sex, you go girl. However many people, some from our own generations and especially prior generations, especially males, did not approve of this as much, so sluts was thrown at as a lot, to try to get us back in our places. Instead we built our slang around it. We went out "slutting it up", we'd see our friends "hey slut", started branding our clothing with the word "slut". It was a rebel call, I don't have to meet the standards your ideal of woman, I'll settle for the standards of your ideal man. It took another decade for Slutwalks to really gear up full force, the normalizing of women's sexuality to take place, but it was the women of the punk and alternative 90s cultures who brought it forth. I have the benefit now of seeing how the world change from the 2nd wave of feminism, to the 3rd wave, and in the 4th wave.

You'd really have to have lived as a young female in the 2000s, or an alternative young female in the 90s really appreciate it though, but I don't think you've well earned the right to be sad about it. We fought hard for it, we developed a culture around it, clothing around it, music around it, brands around it, to value and devalue it, we built a movement. What a man finds sexy or not is not remotely relevant. It isn't your word anymore, it is the 90s rebels, and 2000s empowerment. I'd default to the women you are speaking to, as many fought for it.
 
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PlanetaryNebula said:
You can call me all three. Even if you’re daddy or not. I just like terms of endearment. For lack of a better phrase
Click to expand...
Haha, and that's why i asked. I would only use them in that way. But don't want them misconstrued into someone thinking I'm trying to dominate or own them.... I just like to use them to express affection.
 
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