Sex scenes too long/detailed?

[Emilymcplugger]

It's not just me then.

I always feel guilty on an erotica site when I skip past all the ugh, ooos, ahs, and things people are licking or inserting into places to get back to the good stuff: the characters and plot.

I think in lengthy detailed stories the sex scenes that have me skipping past are those not involving the main characters.

When you get to a scene like that where it’s sex between a bunch of nobodies you don’t care about you want to get back to the characters you do and so skipping these scenes to get back to plot is logical because you know that’s where the real growth will be…if you pardon the pun.

 

[ronde]

Help readers lose track of time. Admittedly easier said than done but going in with that mindset bears more fruit than trying to find a formula for the perfect sex scene (length, activities, vocal vs. reflective, etc.) able to support the rest of the narrative.

Some of the most satisfying comments I've received are along the lines of, "I couldn't stop reading until I got to the end."

 

[ChloeTzang]

There's detail and there's "detail." My own approach is to try and write sex scenes that are long enough for the average male reader to jerk off to, and make them gradually build up, so I might write a series of sex scenes in a story, anyone of which would be jerk-off material while having some sort of lead-in that's an enjoyable story. Where I write a novel-length story, there's usually multiple sex scenes, any one of which hopefully meets my reader jerk-off criteria.

A lot of the enjoyment of sex is in the mind, as well as physical, so I want to write a story with characters that the reader can empathize with, and get into the head of, which adds to that enjoyment and arousal factor. Now factor a few variations, like writing an unlikeable character but in such a way that readers empathize with her and enjoy the sex just as much even if they don't like her that much.... I think it's even more satisfying to successfully do that now and then

 

[32aa]

Hell, I’m the one with the fingers in my panties often when writing.

Isn't that kind of HARD to do while typing?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Isn't that kind of HARD to do while typing?

I have two hands - and I use a iPhone to write.

Em

 

[AllenWoody]

I have two hands - and I use a iPhone to write.

Em

Cunt and peck?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Cunt and peck?

That whistling is the sound of your post going way over my head. Then I am only just over 5 feet tall.

Em

 

[Voboy]

That whistling is the sound of your post going way over my head. Then I am only just over 5 feet tall.

Em

"Hunt and peck" is a method of typing.

I thought it was funny.

 

[EmilyMiller]

"Hunt and peck" is a method of typing.

I thought it was funny.

See I have never heard that term

Em

 

[ronde]

See I have never heard that term

Em

The phrase used to be used to describe some secretaries since most were young, single, and working their first job.

It was said they were secretaries because they were, "huntin' peckers".

 

[ruddygore]

The phrase used to be used to describe some secretaries since most were young, single, and working their first job.

It was said they were secretaries because they were, "huntin' peckers".

Hunt and peck is a method of typing by those who don't know the keyboard. Usually using one finger from each hand, they hunt the keyboard for the letter they want and then peck it and continue on to the next letter

 

[Jmanchu]

Hello all,

Let me open this question by acknowledging there is no definitive answer here, no objective criteria to follow. That said, I'm still interested in hearing your opinions.

I've found that the sex scenes in my stories seem to dwarf the rest of the narrative. Even though I create what I believe is a balanced story with plenty of character development, setting, back story, etc., the sex portion of the story still ends up being as much as half of the prose. The reason for this is that I seem to gravitate toward quite detailed descriptions - each movement of the characters, what they see, say, feel, do, etc. Consider for example my most recent installment, chapter three of Redemption. In Google Docs it's a 29 page story. The main sex scene starts on page 16 and ends on page 28. So not quite half of the story, but close, especially considering that there is an appetizer-grade sex scene earlier in the narrative.

One of the reasons I'm asking this question now is that I feel I'm starting to suffer for it. Increasingly I can zip through most of the story then I drag to a near halt trying to write the sex scene. I'm usually proud of what I end up producing, but it drags at me. And in longer, multi-chapter stories it can really become a problem. Not every chapter needs a lengthy sex scene, but I do want to keep the chapter spicy.

So let me (finally) break the question into two parts:
1) If you have ever suffered from this problem, how do you deal with it?
2) Can you point me to examples of writers/stories where you think the sex/story balance is well managed?

Thank you,

AW

Same thing happens to me. Maybe I'm not the best person to answer, since I have only one published story(well, chapter) in my name here, but I'll give my thoughts. I have various stories that are almost finished, but am stuck deciding what to do with a lot of the sex scenes, which are filled with detail, change of pacing, different positions, and of course the reactions, thoughts and emotions. All of which ebb and flow.

It's like you said about your question and how the answers will be subjective. Like it's really what you're personally looking to focus on in the story, and each reader might prefer the scale of the balance to tip one more or the other. But you might already know that, considering you already got a repertoire of stories.

I see it like a steak: A lot of people prefer medium rare, but some like it cooked more or a little less.

Some like it well-done: you take your time cooking it up nicely, leaving more time to enjoy the anticipation of the meal to come with a little a little buildup. Some like more dirty details seasoned nicely with the intimate emotions and reactions of the characters and don't mind it if it takes a little longer. Some might like their steaks with steamy potatoes, rice and veggies to enjoy that steak. As in an actual story to go along with the smut.

Some prefer it rare: Maybe with just a little buildup before, but the sex happens quick. You keep enough juicy details to let em enjoy the flavor of the scene without too much seasoning to get in the way of enjoying that tender, already flavorful steak. maybe with more focus on the emotional impact instead of what goes where and you give a quick, satisfying finish. Some might like it blue-rare, straight to sex with less distractions to get in the way of the main enjoyment, the rawness of that nasty, delicious meal. The analogy might not be perfect, since everyone's preferences in reading material are more varied and different, but you feel me?

 

[Jmanchu]

Me. I just write what I want, then when I'm satisfied go post in the Editor forum and request some beta readers(I've been using ChatGPT to beta read a lot more lately, but I digress). Just get the feedback I want much better when someone looks at my finished story. More beta readers means more perspectives and opinionsto consider in what to do for the new draft, or just to post it as is. That's my approach. Now I'm going to finish my story. Peace.