What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

Sometimes yep. Though I guess those are the ones where hopefully I learn and I grow. I think that's what's got me so frustrated. I just can't seem to move on. I want to but it's not happening. My heart and my thoughts and my desire is still there. Even when I'm aware it's not good for me....it's not even what I really want. I'm trying to make space for it and let it pass but it is taking its time and it hurts.
I don't know if this would be helpful for you, but sometimes when I'm feeling down about the past, I try to focus my attention on the children around me, as a tangible way of focusing on the future. My own children are grown, but I can still teach things to my nephews and niece, if it's just how to fish, or just running around and getting some exercise with them (which they sorely seem to need these days). Listen to their concerns. Use what you have learned from life and pay it forward. Not a cure for a broken or troubled heart, just a step up the stairs. Obvious shit, but not without meaning. :heart:
 
Sometimes yep. Though I guess those are the ones where hopefully I learn and I grow. I think that's what's got me so frustrated. I just can't seem to move on. I want to but it's not happening. My heart and my thoughts and my desire is still there. Even when I'm aware it's not good for me....it's not even what I really want. I'm trying to make space for it and let it pass but it is taking its time and it hurts.
Yeah, the whole learning and growing sucks. Making the space and sitting with it helps, but that all takes time - and it hurts while we're doing it.
 
I don't know if this would be helpful for you, but sometimes when I'm feeling down about the past, I try to focus my attention on the children around me, as a tangible way of focusing on the future. My own children are grown, but I can still teach things to my nephews and niece, if it's just how to fish, or just running around and getting some exercise with them (which they sorely seem to need these days). Listen to their concerns. Use what you have learned from life and pay it forward. Not a cure for a broken or troubled heart, just a step up the stairs. Obvious shit, but not without meaning. :heart:
Thank you...I think that's worthwhile no matter what's happening in life.....and it's good to see you around Dirty :heart:
Yeah, the whole learning and growing sucks. Making the space and sitting with it helps, but that all takes time - and it hurts while we're doing it.
It's comforting to know I'm not the only one :heart:
 
Thank you...I think that's worthwhile no matter what's happening in life.....and it's good to see you around Dirty :heart:

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one :heart:
You're not. :heart:

Everyone struggles with something. LOL - and if you let the universe know you're not struggling, it'll send you the next thing on the list.
 
Sometimes yep. Though I guess those are the ones where hopefully I learn and I grow. I think that's what's got me so frustrated. I just can't seem to move on. I want to but it's not happening. My heart and my thoughts and my desire is still there. Even when I'm aware it's not good for me....it's not even what I really want. I'm trying to make space for it and let it pass but it is taking its time and it hurts.
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Self care and perspective are what I lean on when I’m in a similar place.

As long as it’s not destructive, I indulge in anything that makes me smile or that I enjoy…favorite foods, chocolate, the wine that tastes better every time I try it, books and music that I can get lost in, movies or shows that make me happy, friends and family that make me laugh, planning something to look forward to, doing kind things for those who need it, and occasionally orgasms with questionable people 😂 Basically anything I’d do or want for a friend that was going through it.

I also try to practice gratitude. I don’t mean that in a Pollyanna everything is always sunshine and rainbows way. I just mean giving as much thought and weight to the things that are going well. What I liked and learned from the person. What I appreciate I do have that would make this situation harder otherwise.

And when I still can’t move past it, I write it down. Stream of conscience, letters, lists, etc. They’re only for me. It’s like it helps purge my mind by not having to carry it around in my head. I find it easier to let it go after that even if it takes a few rounds.
 
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Self care and perspective are what I lean on when I’m in a similar place.

As long as it’s not destructive, I indulge in anything that makes me smile or that I enjoy…favorite foods, chocolate, the wine that tastes better every time I try it, books and music that I can get lost in, movies or shows that make me happy, friends and family that make me laugh, planning something to look forward to, doing kind things for those who need it, and occasionally orgasms with questionable people 😂 Basically anything I’d do or want for a friend that was going through it.

I also try to practice gratitude. I don’t mean that in a Pollyanna everything is always sunshine and rainbows way. I just mean giving as much thought and weight to the things that are going well. What I liked and learned from the person. What I appreciate I do have that would make this situation harder otherwise.

And when I still can’t move past it, I write it down. Stream of conscience, letters, lists, etc. They’re only for me. It’s like it helps purge my mind by not having to carry it around in my head. I find it easier to let it go after that even if it takes a few rounds.
Thanks for sharing Lady...that's very kind of you :heart:
 
I am old school. I believe it takes half as long as the relationship to truly move on. For me...that was 10 years. Sure, I could say I had moved on a million times in those years...and it even felt true...but it wasn't until much much later that the free rent in my head stopped being given. Others can move on in a month....but they aren't me. So what am I saying? I think it is healthy it is taking so long...it shows you love deeply, fully and intensely...and it takes a lot of time to heal. Be strong and believe in yourself
 
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