Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

We are going to renew our vows this summer because of a very long heart to heart with sobbing apologies and major changes that we will keep. We can't change the past and we won't forget it, but also we've learned NOT to repeat it, to get over it. She kissed me so hard last night and again this morning, we were both crying.
We have not kissed like that since....whenever. Please don't shoot me. Our 44years together will continue until....
forever!
I responded, wifey and are waiting to go out to dinner and I'd like to know if I have an ass sit on.
You may keep your ass this time sir 😂
 
Yeah that's not happening today I've had to reply to a lot of really long messages thus my long absences today. I can only multitask so much.
That’s okay too, we don’t keep score.

I don’t think we do anyway… maybe someone does… hmmm not sure…
 
I hear what your saying about being upfront and completely agree but the idea of online monogamy, especially on Lit, is hard for me.

Offline this makes complete sense and I have questioned why I feel like it is different on here. I have talked with a fair share of men on Lit(keep your minds out of the gutter) and I do ask if a person is single or attached and if attached if their partner knows they are on Lit but I do it just as data points. I do it to as one of the many questions I may ask. To help me understand their motivation and their relationship a little more. Overwhelmingly the men I’ve encountered are coupled in some physical way.
I have definitely had some conversations, that I would not have in person, with married or otherwise attached people but it doesn’t feel the same to me. Do I seek out coupled men, no. Never! And I would always question someone messaging me that I think is coupled online with someone else.
But when I think about lit relationships and how seriously folks are taking them and how shocked folks are when someone “cheats” on them I can’t help but wonder why.
If the person is married and on Lit and cultivated a relationship with you how could you think you’d be the only person they would be talking(or more) with? If they would talk to you outside of their committed relationship why wouldn’t they talk to others?

Even with all this questioning of what lit monogamy means and if it is realistic, I can see why so many people want it. But…

Is this a thread of discussion anywhere?
It's always an interesting question to me (mainly because I am just nosey). Keeping in mind that half of American adults are married and another quarter are in committed relationships where they get routine sexual activity, that means that in general 75% or so of people online (assuming we're just a slice of the pie) are in some sort of committed relationship. About 5% of people identify as non-monogamous (openly so). That leaves a lot of people who are, essentially, cheating (not the word I usually use) in their online play.

I think it's that 20% that accounts for 80% of the drama. The act of seeking sexual encounters with someone not their partner and the attendant need for anonymity and secrecy leads to some very conflicted people. To me, it's like going to a swingers club and hooking up with another partner - and then getting jealous/upset when they finish with you and hook up with someone else.

I usually equate it to this - you go to a club (bar, tavern, grocery store, where-ever) and meet a partner. You click on the first or second meeting, good chemistry. You go home and boink. Then, you get into a relationship and you're surprised when your partner goes to the club and hooks up with someone else. You're (online) in an encounter rich environment on places like Lit. Why be surprised when people have encounters?

Just be open and honest about who you are and what you want and set the parameters and stick to them. And remember, the rules or guidelines you create for the relationship also apply to both partners. (Also, if you think for some reason that people won't lie to have sexual encounters - uh, a person might want to rethink that.)
 
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