Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

AngelWithAShotgun:
Can I tell you something about my wife ad I?
It's good!
 
Okay. I'm almost terrified to say this but go on then...
We are going to renew our vows this summer because of a very long heart to heart with sobbing apologies and major changes that we will keep. We can't change the past and we won't forget it, but also we've learned NOT to repeat it, to get over it. She kissed me so hard last night and again this morning, we were both crying.
We have not kissed like that since....whenever. Please don't shoot me. Our 44years together will continue until....
forever!
 
It's done. I just have a very, very low tolerance today for men who cannot be up front about the terms of their relationships.
I hear what your saying about being upfront and completely agree but the idea of online monogamy, especially on Lit, is hard for me.

Offline this makes complete sense and I have questioned why I feel like it is different on here. I have talked with a fair share of men on Lit(keep your minds out of the gutter) and I do ask if a person is single or attached and if attached if their partner knows they are on Lit but I do it just as data points. I do it to as one of the many questions I may ask. To help me understand their motivation and their relationship a little more. Overwhelmingly the men I’ve encountered are coupled in some physical way.
I have definitely had some conversations, that I would not have in person, with married or otherwise attached people but it doesn’t feel the same to me. Do I seek out coupled men, no. Never! And I would always question someone messaging me that I think is coupled online with someone else.
But when I think about lit relationships and how seriously folks are taking them and how shocked folks are when someone “cheats” on them I can’t help but wonder why.
If the person is married and on Lit and cultivated a relationship with you how could you think you’d be the only person they would be talking(or more) with? If they would talk to you outside of their committed relationship why wouldn’t they talk to others?

Even with all this questioning of what lit monogamy means and if it is realistic, I can see why so many people want it. But…

Is this a thread of discussion anywhere?

 
Is this a thread of discussion anywhere?
I think this was discussed in the Everything coupling thread at some point. I don’t know if it still has the same title though.

I happen to be very upfront with people, online or offline, about what I want in a relationship. There was a time when I had friends with benefits and they knew they weren't the only one and when I intend to add another one. It's not hard to say it upfront so everyone knows what they're getting into when they flirt or fuck with you. I'm also very open to discussing changes to those terms at any point. And I am very clear when I'm exclusive to one person.

I just do not get how it can be difficult to say all that when you're starting a relationship or a fling with someone. Just say "hey, this is a one time thing" while you're getting naked, so like they're free to bolt when its not for them o.o
 
I hear what your saying about being upfront and completely agree but the idea of online monogamy, especially on Lit, is hard for me.

Offline this makes complete sense and I have questioned why I feel like it is different on here. I have talked with a fair share of men on Lit(keep your minds out of the gutter) and I do ask if a person is single or attached and if attached if their partner knows they are on Lit but I do it just as data points. I do it to as one of the many questions I may ask. To help me understand their motivation and their relationship a little more. Overwhelmingly the men I’ve encountered are coupled in some physical way.
I have definitely had some conversations, that I would not have in person, with married or otherwise attached people but it doesn’t feel the same to me. Do I seek out coupled men, no. Never! And I would always question someone messaging me that I think is coupled online with someone else.
But when I think about lit relationships and how seriously folks are taking them and how shocked folks are when someone “cheats” on them I can’t help but wonder why.
If the person is married and on Lit and cultivated a relationship with you how could you think you’d be the only person they would be talking(or more) with? If they would talk to you outside of their committed relationship why wouldn’t they talk to others?

Even with all this questioning of what lit monogamy means and if it is realistic, I can see why so many people want it. But…

Is this a thread of discussion anywhere?
It would be a good discussion... it might be difficult to keep it on the rails.
I think part of the variation in expectation is the life experience different people bring to Lit.

@ChainedUp @Lord_Pmann
 
I think there was a spread sheet passed around on the coupling thread. 🤷
It was discussed but more like the creator was interested to avoid overstepping or overlapping. We talked about it a little outside of the thread. I didn’t follow it that closely, never saw a spreadsheet and things changed and the focus changed and I believe the focus changed.
 
I think this was discussed in the Everything coupling thread at some point. I don’t know if it still has the same title though.

I happen to be very upfront with people, online or offline, about what I want in a relationship. There was a time when I had friends with benefits and they knew they weren't the only one and when I intend to add another one. It's not hard to say it upfront so everyone knows what they're getting into when they flirt or fuck with you. I'm also very open to discussing changes to those terms at any point. And I am very clear when I'm exclusive to one person.

I just do not get how it can be difficult to say all that when you're starting a relationship or a fling with someone. Just say "hey, this is a one time thing" while you're getting naked, so like they're free to bolt when its not for them o.o
I don’t disagree that being upfront is not hard and can save hurt feelings and I’m not suggesting otherwise. I just take everything with a few grains of salt and a shot of tequila 😜
 
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