The Lit experience: men v women

[Deleted member 1306910]

Being a straight female, I never really paid attention to whether females are married or not but I am sure that it is true as well.

When it I first joined it was more looking for information but found out quickly that this was not the place to ask the questions I had. But I stayed around anyway. And yes I am little lonely and bored. The horniness comes & goes. But as I said not interested in eboning.

I have found that rarely is any question off limits here. Unless it is like, something really sick and illegal, harmful to someone, most people here have incredibly open minds and would be happy to answer any kind of question you might have.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

This is a thoughtful post and should at least get you some e-pussy.

*rolls eyes* Dude, I aint never had no e-pussy. In the 20 years I've been around these parts, I have had a handful of play partners, most of them became phone phriends and we had relationships far removed from Lit. I'm never looking to get laid, just make connections. I even talk to (gasp!!!) other straight Lit men.

 

[cascadiabound]

Being a straight female, I never really paid attention to whether females are married or not but I am sure that it is true as well.

When it I first joined it was more looking for information but found out quickly that this was not the place to ask the questions I had. But I stayed around anyway. And yes I am little lonely and bored. The horniness comes & goes. But as I said not interested in eboning.

I think some forums are much more open to genuine questions and interaction than others. The how to board and BDSM talk for instance have deep threads of content

 

[Lord Pmann]

*rolls eyes* Dude, I aint never had no e-pussy. In the 20 years I've been around these parts, I have had a handful of play partners, most of them became phone phriends and we had relationships far removed from Lit. I'm never looking to get laid, just make connections. I even talk to (gasp!!!) other straight Lit men.

It’s lies like this that make me see right through you.



I’m totally kidding.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I have found that rarely is any question off limits here. Unless it is like, something really sick and illegal, harmful to someone, most people here have incredibly open minds and would be happy to answer any kind of question you might have.

You would think that would be the case with a site dedicated to sex gut I guess my questions weren't the right type of sex questions. More mechanical. Than tell me your experience.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

It’s lies like this that make me see right through you.



I’m totally kidding.

I know. Believe it or not, I count you a friend. A very annoying, incredibly weird friend.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I think some forums are much more open to genuine questions and interaction than others. The how to board and BDSM talk for instance have deep threads of content

Over time through other avenues I have had most of my questions answered. And I stick around here for fun.

 

[Lord Pmann]

You would think that would be the case with a site dedicated to sex gut I guess my questions weren't the right type of sex questions. More mechanical. Than tell me your experience.

The How To forum is good for that. I used to frequent that section a lot. It was a good forum. Decent held and advice. Not all questions were sex either. Someone once helped me with a calculus type problem I couldn’t figure out for work.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Being a straight female, I never really paid attention to whether females are married or not but I am sure that it is true as well.

When it I first joined it was more looking for information but found out quickly that this was not the place to ask the questions I had. But I stayed around anyway. And yes I am little lonely and bored. The horniness comes & goes. But as I said not interested in eboning.

I would think majority of women are married. or maybe divorced or widowed. It seems that way, anyway. Personally, If I was single, I don't think I'd be here. When I was single, if I wanted to explore something, I just did. It is the being married that became my limitation, thus Lit as a compromise. I don't think we are all that different from the male demographic in that sense.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I know. Believe it or not, I count you a friend. A very annoying, incredibly weird friend.

Are you flirting with me?

Same. You get shit and all that, but for the most part, I have seen you take it in stride.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I would think majority of women are married. or maybe divorced or widowed. It seems that way, anyway. Personally, If I was single, I don't think I'd be here. When I was single, if I wanted to explore something, I just did. It is the being married that became my limitation, thus Lit as a compromise. I don't think we are all that different from the male demographic in that sense.

As a single female I can’t imagine hanging out here if I was married or in a relationship. I know when I am dating someone I am not here as much. It just seems wrong to me for me. And when I do come here at those (very rare) times I am mostly on the memes and funny pictures threads.



I do agree as much as we like to portray men & women as being different I think we more the same than we are different.

 

[Vivid_Astronomer]

When you understand each other’s experiences, the world can be happier.

What would make your Lit experience better?

I've read Lit for years, but I have just started contributing.

I read the site because the stories give me something I can't get anywhere else. You can watch a porn flick and get that instant gratification. But after a while, even the best movie doesn't satisfy you. Or maybe you wished that person would do this or that differently. But they don't. The film is done, and you can't remake it as you want.

But the stories stimulate my mind more than the videos. It takes longer to consume a five-page story than it does to watch a 2-minute flick. My brain gets invested, and if the writer knows their craft, their story really hooks me, and I get much more out of it. A good story is like being taken on a ride, where you are a participant, even if you're only a silent voyeur. To me, that's a much different feeling than watching a flick, and it's what keeps me coming back to Lit time after time.

Regarding people pretending to be who they are not...I guess that's natural for people to be shy at first or to try and act anonymously and do or say things they would not normally do or say because they feel protected by that anonymity. That seems like a waste of time to me, but I get that people do it.

In some Reddit forums, people post their gender and age, either in the title or the post content itself. I've found that adds more context to what you're looking at. I don't know whether that would improve this experience here or segment people further than they might be already. Maybe it's worth adding that kind of information to the author's meta in the forums and not just on their profile or in a comment where they self-identify.

So far, I've read stories about every kink under the sun, and I haven't given a moment's thought to whether they were written by a cis man, trans man, or someone else. I also don't have 200 unsolicited messages in my inbox, so I probably don't have the same experience as the gurus on this site.

For me, as a noob, I think the site works well. I enjoy the forums. I enjoy the articles, which are easy to find and easy to read. So in that respect - I hope the mods keep up the good work!

 

[AnnyMouse28]

The How To forum is good for that. I used to frequent that section a lot. It was a good forum. Decent held and advice. Not all questions were sex either. Someone once helped me with a calculus type problem I couldn’t figure out for work.

None of my questions were really “how to” type questions. But I’ll get that in mind for the future.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

As a single female I can’t imagine hanging out here if I was married or in a relationship. I know when I am dating someone I am not here as much. It just seems wrong to me for me. And when I do come here at those (very rare) times I am mostly on the memes and funny pictures threads.



I do agree as much as we like to portray men & women as being different I think we more the same than we are different.

I do think some of that may be personality, but some may also be length of the relationship. Finding time and feeling comfortable in year one, versus year five, versus year 25. It becomes easier to compromise towards your own desires when you've spent 20 years compromising towards your partners. They are also less like to even notice or care after that amount of time.

 

[Png1drv]

I do think some of that may be personality, but some may also be length of the relationship. Finding time and feeling comfortable in year one, versus year five, versus year 25. It becomes easier to compromise towards your own desires when you've spent 20 years compromising towards your partners. They are also less like to even notice or care after that amount of time.































I'm such a newbie, I can't even reply correctly. Anyway, I agree with you. With a 20+ year partner, I've decided it's time to explore my wants and needs with like minded folks.

 

[Png1drv]

Ok, posting a reply on my phone just doesn't work. Sorry for that mess above.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I do think some of that may be personality, but some may also be length of the relationship. Finding time and feeling comfortable in year one, versus year five, versus year 25. It becomes easier to compromise towards your own desires when you've spent 20 years compromising towards your partners. They are also less like to even notice or care after that amount of time.

I agree with everything you said here. I’ve not really had a long term relationship since before I was 21. Also my sexual preferences tend toward the vanilla with some French vanilla thrown in. Lol. If the sex became stale I’d be more likely to turn to erotic novels then Lit. I also hope that we would be able to discuss it. But that could just be my foolish naive inexperience talking.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I agree with everything you said here. I’ve not really had a long term relationship since before I was 21. Also my sexual preferences tend toward the vanilla with some French vanilla thrown in. Lol. If the sex became stale I’d be more likely to turn to erotic novels then Lit. I also hope that we would be able to discuss it. But that could just be my foolish naive inexperience talking.

I do think most people come to lit for the stories, as you'd turn to erotic novels, I think a majority were doing the same. Then the forums just sort of happen. So many Litsters are just such welcoming irresistible pervs I guess. You stumble in somehow and find it just fits. As for talking, I think the talking is easy, but words don't mean anything changes. Lit is actually part of the agreed upon compromise in my house, but I will say most men don't seem to have the same. I think more women's husbands know they are here than men's wives. At least it seems that way to me.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I do think some of that may be personality, but some may also be length of the relationship. Finding time and feeling comfortable in year one, versus year five, versus year 25. It becomes easier to compromise towards your own desires when you've spent 20 years compromising towards your partners. They are also less like to even notice or care after that amount of time.

Oof.
There's a shit ton of truth here.

I found lit to save my marriage. I took ownership of my sexuality and decided to figure out what makes me tick. Unlike what others think, I wasn't lonely or feeling like I was lacking. I recognized I'm complex and needed to understand my sexual self if I was going to ever offer it to someone else.

I love lit for the community it provides.
I'll always call y'all my pervy army and I wouldn't have it any other way

 

[aussiegeekygal]

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?
Female

Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?
Not really. It took me a little while to find my feet when I first joined, but that was quite some time ago now. I ran into pmann on the GB and hit it off before heading across to the PG where clowns was kind enough to help me out. Joking around with those two means being seen. But I mostly just posted in my own little spaces and didn't venture far. It was only in the pandemic that I started checking out more of lit.

Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?
Nope. PMs are off, but even when they were open I didn't like PMing. Lit is better now that PMs aren't popping up when trying to do something else. It was SO ANNOYING to get notifications that I just shut them off one day and never looked back.

Why was today great? Frustrating?
I got to see my kids experience new things with is always great.
Frustrating because I woke up on the pull out couch mattress in a hotel room with a very comfortable bed that I didn't get to sleep in.

What would make your Lit experience better?
If we weren't all on so much. There was magic is syncopated and sporadic posting of yesteryears.

 

[Thom_the_gleeman]

To all of these very insightful entries I would like to add one more thing. Many of you describe that you grew in you expirience of Lit, and this goes for me too. However I would like to add that I also grew in my own interactions on Lit. I was in my early twenties when I joined and man, am I not proud of some things I posted on here. I used to be a little horny shit. I stil am of course, but at least I believe I learned some manners since then.

Love,
Thom

 

[LadyLascivious1]

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?
Female

Do you feel invisible?
Not at all, but I also don’t feel like the center of attention which suits me. Even though I joined ages ago, I didn’t become a more regular poster until the last year or two. I think I’m in a good sweet spot for me right now - I’m around enough that I’ve made some amazing friends, but still infrequent enough that I fly under the radar and don’t think most people know who I am.

Trying different tactics just to get noticed?
No, I think just being somewhat consistent in posting is what works best to make connections or a circle of friends.

Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?
Not at all. I found the incognito option early as soon as I realized I got lots of random one liners the second I logged in. I like making new friends, but that tends to be more likely if people intentionally engage versus only by way of the fact that we’re of compatible genders and online at the same moment.

I’m also of the quality over quantity perspective. I’m very honest on the forum and love the group dynamic and banter, but extremely open in my direct conversations with people (while I protect others privacy fiercely, my own life would not be impacted much if it was known I was on here.) Being an open book and slowly building genuine relationships takes time, so few PMs is not a bad thing in my book.

Why was today great? Frustrating?
Today was the first day in my holiday vacation where I had nothing to do. So it was wonderful relaxing and fun to view and contribute to a picture thread. Thank you, @MrsNaughtyCat, for that! I take Lit seriously in the sense that I’m real and treat people with the same level of respect I would offline (even if my activity ebbs and flows), but it’s also intended to be fun and a wonderful distraction. Today was great for that.

What would make your Lit experience better?
Nothing significant I can think of right now.

Other common thread topics/questions
- I have only gone to the chat area once with a friend and it was overwhelming. I was glad I wasn’t alone and won’t be returning.
- The Lit Welcoming Committee for New Female Litsters is a real thing and there are certain users that are infamous for this. They don’t even remember anyone they message specifically. It’s strictly a numbers thing - basically e-nail phishing.
- I’ve never seriously been asked for proof of gender. After Briannagate @jason28053 asked me for proof, but we were already friends and had talked on the phone so he was just being a smart ass. I did, however, enjoy filming a fuck off video.
- I have written something on my chest and taken a picture to cheer @HeavyBalls up, but it was voluntary and not requested. I was smart enough to use tinted lip balm and not sharpie. Talk to smarter women, @Lord Pmann
- I have never been sent an unsolicited dick pic and I’d like to keep it that way.
- I was definitely much more naive about some sex and kink topics before joining Lit. It’s been phenomenally interesting in that regard!

 

[Cat]

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?
Female

Do you feel invisible?
Not at all, but I also don’t feel like the center of attention which suits me. Even though I joined ages ago, I didn’t become a more regular poster until the last year or two. I think I’m in a good sweet spot for me right now - I’m around enough that I’ve made some amazing friends, but still infrequent enough that I fly under the radar and don’t think most people know who I am.

Trying different tactics just to get noticed?
No, I think just being somewhat consistent in posting is what works best to make connections or a circle of friends.

Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?
Not at all. I found the incognito option early as soon as I realized I got lots of random one liners the second I logged in. I like making new friends, but that tends to be more likely if people intentionally engage versus only by way of the fact that we’re of compatible genders and online at the same moment.

I’m also of the quality over quantity perspective. I’m very honest on the forum and love the group dynamic and banter, but extremely open in my direct conversations with people (while I protect others privacy fiercely, my own life would not be impacted much if it was known I was on here.) Being an open book and slowly building genuine relationships takes time, so few PMs is not a bad thing in my book.

Why was today great? Frustrating?
Today was the first day in my holiday vacation where I had nothing to do. So it was wonderful relaxing and fun to view and contribute to a picture thread. Thank you, @MrsNaughtyCat, for that! I take Lit seriously in the sense that I’m real and treat people with the same level of respect I would offline (even if my activity ebbs and flows), but it’s also intended to be fun and a wonderful distraction. Today was great for that.

What would make your Lit experience better?
Nothing significant I can think of right now.

Other common thread topics/questions
- I have only gone to the chat area once with a friend and it was overwhelming. I was glad I wasn’t alone and won’t be returning.
- The Lit Welcoming Committee for New Female Litsters is a real thing and there are certain users that are infamous for this. They don’t even remember anyone they message specifically. It’s strictly a numbers thing - basically e-nail phishing.
- I’ve never seriously been asked for proof of gender. After Briannagate @jason28053 asked me for proof, but we were already friends and had talked on the phone so he was just being a smart ass. I did, however, enjoy filming a fuck off video.
- I have written something on my chest and taken a picture to cheer @HeavyBalls up, but it was voluntary and not requested. I was smart enough to use tinted lip balm and not sharpie. Talk to smarter women, @Lord Pmann
- I have never been sent an unsolicited dick pic and I’d like to keep it that way.
- I was definitely much more naive about some sex and kink topics before joining Lit. It’s been phenomenally interesting in that regard!

Morning dearest

Oh gosh... I want in on this too!! (Sometimes being honest.. To the point where someone calls me blunt.. is so sweetly liberating)

Other common thread topics/questions
- The Lit Welcoming Committee for New Female Litsters. It is as real as it gets.. the same people would write messages, with the same content.. with only days in between.. Not remembering the first time of my answers.
And being awfully naïve and polite, I would spend hours trying to answer...
- "The Doms", the types that after right after "How are you" "What are you looking for" went directly to "Masturbate with X, while doing Y and saying Z" and send me a video of it...
- The name... Oh, I should really.. really have thought more about my name

• Having Cat in my name... "The Doms" often see that as an invitation for them to call me "Kitty" ... Unless I know you, unless you are my friend.. then do not do that. It is disrespectful.
• No... I am not going to be anyone's mother.. your kink, it may not necessarily be my kink. Ask before you smother me with your needs.
• No... "Cat" in my name does not refer to any fetishs regarding animals.
• Just.. do not assume that you know who the person behind the name is, just because you have your own interpretation of the name.

- Googling abbreviations.. my goodness.. so, I have never seen myself as being a puritan or shy.
But.. the amount of times, where I have had to "just a moment, I am going to Google this" is insane on the other hand.. my Husband now ask me for definitions and meanings of sexual abbreviations when he sees them in other forums or porn sites
- I am open about being on Lit with my husband.
- I have been sent some few unsolicited dick pics in the beginning.
- The men and females that did not believe my gender, in the beginning I did find it interesting ~ how come they thought I were a fake? Luckily I have a good understanding of who I am, so it was never the doubt or questions that bothered me.
More the fact that someone had made others become so jaded, that they needed proof. (Which I only gave, if I found our interactions to be worth the trust.. meaning, those that I still consider friends.)


And @LadyLascivious1 .. gosh.. you do know how much I love your photos!? Thaaaaaank you

 

[Cat]

@NastyNyx

Missed you!!! Missed you so much

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Morning dearest

Oh gosh... I want in on this too!! (Sometimes being honest.. To the point where someone calls me blunt.. is so sweetly liberating)

Morning, lovely!

I usually try to take the time to attempt to word things so I don’t come across too blunt, but I’d rather err on that or the awkward side than not say/ask the things that matter.

Other common thread topics/questions
- "The Doms", the types that after right after "How are you" "What are you looking for" went directly to "Masturbate with X, while doing Y and saying Z" and send me a video of it...
- The name... Oh, I should really.. really have thought more about my name

• Having Cat in my name... "The Doms" often see that as an invitation for them to call me "Kitty" ... Unless I know you, unless you are my friend.. then do not do that. It is disrespectful.
• No... I am not going to be anyone's mother.. your kink, it may not necessarily be my kink. Ask before you smother me with your needs.
• No... "Cat" in my name does not refer to any fetishs regarding animals.
• Just.. do not assume that you know who the person behind the name is, just because you have your own interpretation of the name.

Oh, the number of Doms who have assumed something on my profile meant I was submissive and messaged me very brazenly and presumptively Or the guys looking for a Domme. Even if I was a sub (which is irrelevant to my point, but I happen not to be either) give people the respect of getting to know them and finding out if you click, might be into the same things, and are mutually interested in exploring a kink together or something more than friendship. There’s a reason I keep my profile private now.

I’m almost embarrassed to admit how recently I thought cat ears were just a fun dress up thing that cutesy girls used as quick Halloween costumes

Other common thread topics/questions
- Googling abbreviations.. my goodness.. so, I have never seen myself as being a puritan or shy.
But.. the amount of times, where I have had to "just a moment, I am going to Google this" is insane on the other hand.. my Husband now ask me for definitions and meanings of sexual abbreviations when he sees them in other forums or porn sites
- I am open about being on Lit with my husband.

Yes!

Other common thread topics/questions
(Which I only gave [proof], if I found our interactions to be worth the trust.. meaning, those that I still consider friends.)

Also, yes!

And @LadyLascivious1 .. gosh.. you do know how much I love your photos!? Thaaaaaank you

The sentiment is very mutual, gorgeous!