Hard to believe with all the stories that I've written but...sometimes I get bored.

[SusanJillParker]

It's hard to believe with all the stories that I've written but...sometimes I get bored and peruse the Internet.

I was curious to know who in Hollywood had the biggest cocks and who in Hollywood had the smallest cocks. Just as I was surprised by who had the biggest dicks, I was equally surprised by who had the smallest pricks.

"Let's give it up for those men with the biggest cocks and have a moment of silence, without laughing, for those with the smallest pricks."

Justin Bieber made the big dick list. Justin Bieber? Seriously? With it rumored that he and his mother were lovers, his mother must be so proud.

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, Justin. Now stick your cock in my mouth."

John Hamm from Mad Men made the list of men having big cocks. Interesting. No wonder why he's such a ladies man.

David Beckham made the list, of course. I should have guessed that with John Hamm and Beckham both having ham in their last names, whatever that means (lol). That explains why his wife, Victoria Beckham of Spice Girl fame is always smiling.

JayZ and Tommy Lee (of course) made the list. Beyonce and Pamela Anderson were lucky women in love and in sex.

Interesting enough, he must have a good press agent, Ben Affleck made both lists the list of men having the biggest penises and the list of men having the smallest penis. With him 6'4", I'd hazard a guess that he's on the former list rather than on the latter list.

Dan Rather made the list. What? Huh? Dan Rather? Seriously? If Diane Sawyer wasn't a closest lesbian (just ask Oprah), she would have been happy that Dan had a big dick.

Little big man, Mark Wahlberg made the list of well equipped men. I hate him. He's so full of himself. He definitely has a Napoleon complex. Speaking of Napoleon, he was on the little dick men list.

Eddie Murphy (of course) made the list. He's had sex with lots of women.

Now on the shame list of men in Hollywood having small appendages, we have...

Are you ready for his one? I was shocked being that he's 6'5" tall. Now, I have my doubts about Ben Affleck. Maybe that's why he broke up with Jennifer Garner. Hmm.

Howard Sterns has a small cock (lol). Way to go Howard (lol). I figured with him all about sex, sex, and sex that he had a small cock.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is on the list of small dick men. Again, with him all about sex, sex, and sex, I figured him for a small cock too. He should have pumped that thing up (lol).

"I'll be back," said Arnold to Susan.

"Oh, no you won't," said Susan. "Not with that tiny cock. Justin Bieber is on his way over."

Mick Jagger made the list of tiny penises.

"Wow! Mick Jagger. Who would have thunk that?"

Daniel Craig is another one who appears on both list. He must have a good publicity agent.

Harry Potter aka Daniel Radcliffe made the small penis list.

Eminem is on the small penis list which would explain why he's so angry for a rich, white man.

Ashton Kutcher made the list. That would explain why he and Demi Moore had an open, swinging marriage.

There are others who appear on both list but, you know me, I don't want to embarrass anyone (lmao).

This was a public service announcement. I personally approved of this thread.

Feel free to ad any more named of Hollywood celebrities.

 

[removesowse]

Nice story!

 

[Rustyoznail]

Ok, well... I'm still no clearer why a five year old thread was dug up and sprinkled with zombie dust.

As they now type -TLDR.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Ok, well... I'm still no clearer why a five year old thread was dug up and sprinkled with zombie dust.

But thank you random internet person for digging up this random internet gem. I love it.

 

[TxRad]

And another Alt raises his dead head. Hello, Freddie.

 

[lovecraft68]

And another Alt raises his dead head. Hello, Freddie.

I doubt the person that bumped it is a Freddie alt, the name doesn't follow the pattern and its way too brief.
Seeing a lot of these old threads popping up, someone told me its due to the similar thread feature that's supposed to avoid duplicate thread topics.

Obviously not working

 

[RejectReality]

Probably a spam account. Pointless posts on ancient topics that are later edited to include links is standard operating procedure for those.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

SJP has always been a Freddie alt - that's why her motto is "100% woman," and why 'she' started a thread about celebrity penis sizes. Could Freddie be trying to revive the old crone?

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Can someone explain the drama please?

 

[TxRad]

Can someone explain the drama please?

Freddie, you already know the drama and bullshit you always bring to the table. So please go back in your hole and stay there. It has been so nice and quiet without you around.

 

[Cindy027]

So here’s the conundrum, you start a new thread and one group will lambaste you because a thread already exists and then the flip side is the group that is mortified because a thread was resurrected.

Oh, and could someone please explain what a Freddie alt is

 

[RejectReality]

Freddie, you already know the drama and bullshit you always bring to the table. So please go back in your hole and stay there. It has been so nice and quiet without you around.

Unless you think Freddie is capable of completely altering his writing style without slipping, methinks you may be a bit hasty on that call. LOL Take a look at the stories. None of his tells are in there that I can see. There's dialogue. No laundry lists of starlets/cars. No abrupt not quite scenes/scene breaks in unfathomable places.

I think Freddie finally decided to leave the forum alone, so it's best if we don't invoke him unnecessarily.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Freddie, you already know the drama and bullshit you always bring to the table. So please go back in your hole and stay there. It has been so nice and quiet without you around.

Wow ok. I'll drop it then. Forget I asked.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Can someone explain the drama please?

Freddie was, let's say, his own performance art close on ten years ago. As RR says, this zombie thread is most likely spam bullshit, to be ignored.

 

[Cindy027]

And I am still none the wiser.

 

[Cindy027]

I followed the link and I got 'sharks have existed longer than trees' I looked for a place to enter 'Freddie alt' but no luck. So as for gaining wisdom I feel seriously shortchanged.

 

[Cindy027]

Keep clicking, and you might eventually get there.

Really !!! I think not, i might miss something here

 

[lovecraft68]

Freddie, you already know the drama and bullshit you always bring to the table. So please go back in your hole and stay there. It has been so nice and quiet without you around.

I agree with RR, you're seeing Freddie where there is no Freddie and you forget we have a lot of new people or people new to the forums who don't know the BS

 

[lovecraft68]

I followed the link and I got 'sharks have existed longer than trees' I looked for a place to enter 'Freddie alt' but no luck. So as for gaining wisdom I feel seriously shortchanged.

Quick synopsis. Bostonfictionwriter-who claimed his real name was Freddie- was a popular author on the site, but a nasty piece of work on the forums. After teaming up with another POS named Scouries to create a thread mocking another forum members miscarriage, they endured so much abuse they stopped writing under that name, but on the forums claimed through Scouries they literally died.

They came back as Susanjillparker claiming to be a woman and going on and on about rape in and abuse in a way no woman would, therefore mocking it, and claiming TX and RR, myself and others were all sexist pigs. They also claimed to be from Boston and were 'connected' until I started dropping familiar named to them from the North End "family" through PM, and then of course they had relocated to Philly. They finally wore out their welcome with the mod for their rape glorifying threads and left the forums but kept writing.

There is a pattern, all there alts have three word names "Superheroralph" was another I recall. Shame is their a prolific author and very good, but an absolute shitstain as a person who left such a mark that as you can see at least one person here still keeps seeing them in the shadows.

Not to rule out them making a comeback, but the person RR was sticking up for is in now way the new Freddie.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Quick synopsis. Bostonfictionwriter-who claimed his real name was Freddie- was a popular author on the site, but a nasty piece of work on the forums. After teaming up with another POS named Scouries to create a thread mocking another forum members miscarriage, they endured so much abuse they stopped writing under that name, but on the forums claimed through Scouries they literally died.

They came back as Susanjillparker claiming to be a woman and going on and on about rape in and abuse in a way no woman would, therefore mocking it, and claiming TX and RR, myself and others were all sexist pigs. They also claimed to be from Boston and were 'connected' until I started dropping familiar named to them from the North End "family" through PM, and then of course they had relocated to Philly. They finally wore out their welcome with the mod for their rape glorifying threads and left the forums but kept writing.

There is a pattern, all there alts have three word names "Superheroralph" was another I recall. Shame is their a prolific author and very good, but an absolute shitstain as a person who left such a mark that as you can see at least one person here still keeps seeing them in the shadows.

Not to rule out them making a comeback, but the person RR was sticking up for is in now way the new Freddie.

Also, one of Scouries' alts was named "Jackie O", which might be adding to the confusion.

I agree with LC and RR. BFW/SJP/etc. has a pretty distinctive writing style, and this ain't it. As best I can tell, @Jackie.O.Hikaru is just a legit poster who had the bad luck of having a similar name to an old troll account, and posting on a thread started by a different troll. Let's give the benefit of the doubt here.

 

[lovecraft68]

Also, one of Scouries' alts was named "Jackie O", which might be adding to the confusion.

I agree with LC and RR. BFW/SJP/etc. has a pretty distinctive writing style, and this ain't it. As best I can tell, @Jackie.O.Hikaru is just a legit poster who had the bad luck of having a similar name to an old troll account, and posting on a thread started by a different troll. Let's give the benefit of the doubt here.

Right, but if I recall the alt was scouriesworld and the alt claimed their name was Jackie...they really put a lot into their crap, I mean craft. Always annoyed me Laurel banned scouriesworld knowing full well it was an alt, but never touched scouries...but that leads down a whole other rabbit hole of unpleasant theories.

 

[RejectReality]

Right, but if I recall the alt was scouriesworld and the alt claimed their name was Jackie...they really put a lot into their crap, I mean craft. Always annoyed me Laurel banned scrouriesworld, but never touched scouries...but that leads down a whole other rabbit hole of unpleasant theories.

He never got permabanned, but he was banned at least a couple of times, and I think the final warning was exactly that — a final warning that he was dancing on the edge of a permaban. That's when he finally stopped coming around.

 

[jsmiam]

…I agree with LC and RR. BFW/SJP/etc. has a pretty distinctive writing style, and this ain't it. As best I can tell, @Jackie.O.Hikaru is just a legit poster who had the bad luck of having a similar name to an old troll account, and posting on a thread started by a different troll. Let's give the benefit of the doubt here.

+2 agreed. Unfortunate perfect storm of coincidences.

 

[AH_Mod]

I think it's time for this thread to return to the grave it was excavated from.