Are women really as cold-blooded IRL as represented in Loving Wives?

[MillieDynamite]

You say cold blooded. The fact is that women have a higher cheating rate than men. They have higher libidos, and like more variety. Most love their husbands and their marriage, but as with all couples, sex becomes routine, not bad, but just the same things over and over. It is boring to her. If it is a good marriage, and she is getting some random variety and strange, you are probably benefitting greatly from it, even if you do not know. And she can't tell you that, because your pecker would shrivel up, and your ego would be crushed, thinking that you can't satisfy her. And if you catch her, she gets all the blame. Wake up guys, she is hornier than you.

You need to understand one thing when your head is up your ass that far, you can't get oxygen to your brain, what little of one there is.

 

[GRythes92]

I think the answer is they are not IRL. But then again, you probably also have never met anyone as cruel as the main character in Girl Gone. Does not make it a bad story or Gillian Flynn a misogynist?

Fiction is a wonderful to explore our deepest fears that often have a basis in real traumatic situations but in a very explicit and elevated (would you dismiss the Handmaid's Tale just because its depection of the real trauma in women's lives is told through an unrealistic storyline). For men, cuckolding is a fear, rational or otherwise, that goes back for centuries possibly with little more basis than that the realities of reproduction give men less certainty than eomen that their children are thrir own. I do know men who discovered the child they were rsising was not theirs. It foes not mean I think this is common or women are evil (and on BDSM forums they can get very dark) and the best villains are rarely the most reslistic. Mainstream movies and TV are full of "burn the bastard" revenge fantasies from Double Jeopardy to successive humiliations suffered by the cheating husband on the first season of Sweet Magnolias. No one bats an eye at these burn the bastard stories. There are three things that clear. At least 10-15% of married women cheat and 20-25% of married men do. When infidelity is discovered, it is devastating and most marriages do not survive it, even with counseling. Third, the healing process for those that do is about 2.5 years. The best loving wives capture the fears and the trauma of these realities. Certsinly in a much more realistic way thst the mind control stories. But dismissing their authors as incel fantastists is both unfair (given the prevalence of burn the bastard storlines in msinstream women's fiction) and misses the way thst fiction can allow us to explore real fears even if in unrealistic ways.

 

[stickygirl]

Wait. LW is fiction?! Next you'll be saying there's no evidence of microchips in vaccines.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I’ll never stop finding it strange that there are so many militant monogamists spending time on a smut site that showcases a broad range of sexual activities. Alien vampire futas? Sure, as long as they get married in the end. Otherwise it’s just depraved and wrong.

To be fair I am one of those militant monogamists but only in real life.

In my last story I had vampire sex, werewolf sex, BDSM, Bisex, incest and orgies.

There’ll be people on here with wild real life sex lives or people like me who’ve seen opportunity after opportunity for wild living flash by them.

It takes all sorts, but the one thing we all have in common is we all write, for our own pleasure or titillation or for the pleasure and titillation of others.

We are all different, which I guess also answers the initial question, too.

 

[Seadog777]

I CAN NOT speak on "all" women. I've had relationships with women on 5 different continents, so I've had the unique opportunity to experience love in different cultures. I can say through my personal experience and witnessing things myself

AB-SOL-FUCKING-LUTE-LY!!!

 

[Lifestyle66]

I think the answer is they are not IRL. ..
The best loving wives capture the fears and the trauma of these realities. ...

IMO, the best Loving Wives stories are NOT about fear and trauma, but rather about understanding and contentedly sharing.

To be fair I am one of those militant monogamists but only in real life.

In my last story I had vampire sex, werewolf sex, BDSM, Bisex, incest and orgies.

There’ll be people on here with wild real life sex lives or people like me who’ve seen opportunity after opportunity for wild living flash by them.

It takes all sorts, but the one thing we all have in common is we all write, for our own pleasure or titillation or for the pleasure and titillation of others.

We are all different, which I guess also answers the initial question, too.

With several LW stories posted and receiving comments from such militant monogamists and BTB-lovers, I decided to address this issue in my latest "Lifestyle Ch. 13 - Single Swingers", where I changed the POV to that of a single (divorced) guy hearing from both the MC husband and MC wife separately why they are swingers.

In that story, I set a scene with the husband describing his philosophy, and where you the reader should ask yourself: If your spouse confided in you their secret fantasy for sex with someone else, how would YOU react? Would you permit them to act it out? Would you be outraged that they think that way and demand a divorce? Does your spouse need to keep such fantasies a secret from you? Or would you ignore it, and forever after wonder if they might act on the temptation without telling you?

Our writing does not need to be just about pleasure and titillation. It can be thought provoking.

 

[GRythes92]

IMO, the best Loving Wives stories are NOT about fear and trauma, but rather about understanding and contentedly sharing.

With several LW stories posted and receiving comments from such militant monogamists and BTB-lovers, I decided to address this issue in my latest "Lifestyle Ch. 13 - Single Swingers", where I changed the POV to that of a single (divorced) guy hearing from both the MC husband and MC wife separately why they are swingers.

In that story, I set a scene with the husband describing his philosophy, and where you the reader should ask yourself: If your spouse confided in you their secret fantasy for sex with someone else, how would YOU react? Would you permit them to act it out? Would you be outraged that they think that way and demand a divorce? Does your spouse need to keep such fantasies a secret from you? Or would you ignore it, and forever after wonder if they might act on the temptation without telling you?

Our writing does not need to be just about pleasure and titillation. It can be thought provoking.

I very much agree. I think stories such as February Sucks (apologies I have not read yours) are thought provoking. I think that it is also important to recognize that the tales of reluctant cuckolds and adultery in LW bear little or no relation to the situation or experiences of people who both choose to engage in consensual cuckolding kink. While i know very little aboutn that lifestyle, the stories I am talkingbaboutnhave nothing to do with that and should mot be read as a commentary or judgement on such relationships.

 

[GRythes92]

Wait. LW is fiction?! Next you'll be saying there's no evidence of microchips in vaccines.

 

[GRythes92]

IMO, the best Loving Wives stories are NOT about fear and trauma, but rather about understanding and contentedly sharing.

With several LW stories posted and receiving comments from such militant monogamists and BTB-lovers, I decided to address this issue in my latest "Lifestyle Ch. 13 - Single Swingers", where I changed the POV to that of a single (divorced) guy hearing from both the MC husband and MC wife separately why they are swingers.

In that story, I set a scene with the husband describing his philosophy, and where you the reader should ask yourself: If your spouse confided in you their secret fantasy for sex with someone else, how would YOU react? Would you permit them to act it out? Would you be outraged that they think that way and demand a divorce? Does your spouse need to keep such fantasies a secret from you? Or would you ignore it, and forever after wonder if they might act on the temptation without telling you?

Our writing does not need to be just about pleasure and titillation. It can be thought provoking.

On you comment about the best LW stories, people read them for different and choose different stories as your favorites. For me, they are, but you look for something different. I look for a way back, reconciliation, but not at any price. So completely agree that what you find interesting and what makes a story good is going to be very different. Just as many people are going to feel very different about cuckoldind as kink, open marriages, and swinging.

Those questions you raised are all very valid, and different people will answer them differently. Do I love my wife enough to let her experience a deeply held fantasy that is so important to her? Does it matter if I end up on anti-depressants as a result, or that we pull away from each as a result (even if we don't divorce)? Would I rather she just went and did it and not tell me? Will I wonder if my children are my biological children? Am I the type of person who whenever I make love to her will be haunted by the implication that I am not enough for her, whether thst is really how she feels or not? Again, I do not see these stories as having any relation to the lives of those who mutually consent to an open marriage or cuckolding as kink.

 

[GRythes92]

To be fair I am one of those militant monogamists but only in real life.

In my last story I had vampire sex, werewolf sex, BDSM, Bisex, incest and orgies.

There’ll be people on here with wild real life sex lives or people like me who’ve seen opportunity after opportunity for wild living flash by them.

It takes all sorts, but the one thing we all have in common is we all write, for our own pleasure or titillation or for the pleasure and titillation of others.

We are all different, which I guess also answers the initial question, too.

Well said.

 

[GRythes92]

To be fair I am one of those militant monogamists but only in real life.

In my last story I had vampire sex, werewolf sex, BDSM, Bisex, incest and orgies.

There’ll be people on here with wild real life sex lives or people like me who’ve seen opportunity after opportunity for wild living flash by them.

It takes all sorts, but the one thing we all have in common is we all write, for our own pleasure or titillation or for the pleasure and titillation of others.

We are all different, which I guess also answers the initial question, too.

I am a militant monogamist, but erotica and fiction can be exciting and instructive by giving us ways to yhink about things that we would not do IRL. As with you, that does not mean I hate these stories or judge prople who enjoy these things IRL

 

[Lifestyle66]

On you comment about the best LW stories, people read them for different and choose different stories as your favorites. For me, they are, but you look for something different. I look for a way back, reconciliation, but not at any price. So completely agree that what you find interesting and what makes a story good is going to be very different. Just as many people are going to feel very different about cuckoldind as kink, open marriages, and swinging.

Those questions you raised are all very valid, and different people will answer them differently. Do I love my wife enough to let her experience a deeply held fantasy that is so important to her? Does it matter if I end up on anti-depressants as a result, or that we pull away from each as a result (even if we don't divorce)? Would I rather she just went and did it and not tell me? Will I wonder if my children are my biological children? Am I the type of person who whenever I make love to her will be haunted by the implication that I am not enough for her, whether thst is really how she feels or not? Again, I do not see these stories as having any relation to the lives of those who mutually consent to an open marriage or cuckolding as kink.

You might try reading my story (just under 10K words) and tell me what you think of the husband's approach to it.

 

[lc69hunter]

I've been getting interested in the Loving Wives category the last several days, and I read stories of wives running off with football stars for a wild weekend without as much as a peep to their husbands, or wives that announce that they're about to fuck a multi-millionaire to their husband because they don't consider it cheating, or otherwise give some delusional rationalization that after their fling everything will be alright with their marriage when they return.

While it makes for an interesting story, I have to wonder: Do sluts like this exist in the real world?! My ex and I split up because we got to where we were just roommates with occasional benefits. Thank God we hadn't had children before the split!

But enough about me. I only mention it because I cannot believe there are women out their so delusional, so cruel as to pull something like this and come back thinking everything would be like it was. Please tell me this is just fantasy, a trope, a McGuffin, please?

Those women, just like the husbands that are portrayed, are mostly fiction. I get more pissed at how the husbands are portrayed, as these rigid (men?) who believe that if another cock has been in the pussy they think they own, or that she even thought about it, it overrules every other good thing in the marriage. They act like little boys who someone has stolen and used their favorite toy. Real men are not like that. And, IMHO, 70% of the BTB stories shouldn't be, or needn't be BTB stories.

 

[GRythes92]

You might try reading my story (just under 10K words) and tell me what you think of the husband's approach to it.

I will. Thanks.

 

[GRythes92]

Those women, just like the husbands that are portrayed, are mostly fiction. I get more pissed at how the husbands are portrayed, as these rigid (men?) who believe that if another cock has been in the pussy they think they own, or that she even thought about it, it overrules every other good thing in the marriage. They act like little boys who someone has stolen and used their favorite toy. Real men are not like that. And, IMHO, 70% of the BTB stories shouldn't be, or needn't be BTB stories.

Fair points.

I think there are a lot of women who are equally traumatized when they discover a husband has cheated. Of course you may think the women are equally rigid. With all due respect, I would not call them "little girls" or say they are not strong women (as close as I can come to an equivalent of not a "real man") if they choose not to stay.

I agree with you on the BTB stories. They are actually not my favorites. I prefer to see people fight for all the other good things in their marriage, even if most will not make it and it can take a long time to get over the pain. But given that popular movies, TV shows, and women's fiction loves a "burn the bastard" storyline, I cannot get too excited about it either.

We all have different feelings about monogamy, open marriages, staying together for the kids, etc., and thats OK. If you do not like the rigid men there are plently of LW stories when the husband gets get comfortable with it or even learn to love it.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I will however say this about people that have affairs as I do think that in general there is a difference between men and women on this issue.

The women…are better at keeping them secret than men (either that or men can’t pick up on the signs).

 

[Lifestyle66]

I will however say this about people that have affairs as I do think that in general there is a difference between men and women on this issue.

The women…are better at keeping them secret than men (either that or men can’t pick up on the signs).

It's either the men are more clueless and not picking up on the signs, or the wives are more suspicious and untrusting of their husband and checking up on him.

In my Single Swingers story, I go into some details describing two such failed marriages ending in divorce.

 

[GRythes92]

I will however say this about people that have affairs as I do think that in general there is a difference between men and women on this issue.

The women…are better at keeping them secret than men (either that or men can’t pick up on the signs).

That may be true. If you are correct, then as a man I am far less capable of determining whether that is true or not. Say, I wonder where my wife is now? Thanks for putting that idea into my head.

 

[SimonDoom]

I will however say this about people that have affairs as I do think that in general there is a difference between men and women on this issue.

The women…are better at keeping them secret than men (either that or men can’t pick up on the signs).

Why would you think that's true? I can't see any reason to believe it's true.
Women are probably more likely, on average, to share with women friends the fact that they're having an affair, so one could plausibly argue the opposite: more people are likely to know about the woman's affair, so she's more likely to get caught.
I don't really believe that either, but in general I think it's pointless to make universal generalizations about men and women. There are no universals, just statistical averages, and I'm not even sure what those are.

 

[TadOverdon]

Women have to be better at keeping the secret and, yes, even protecting each other's secrets. The potential downsides of being exposed are so much worse in many cases than for men.

“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them." - Margaret Atwood

 

[GRythes92]

You might try reading my story (just under 10K words) and tell me what you think of the husband's approach to it.

I enjoyed your story. You right very well and your narrator had a very interesting voice. Lifestyle stories are not my primarily my interest. I can certainly understand where both partners are comfortable with the lifestyle and willing to be loyal to each other in their own way like Ted and Jen. So well done. A good explanation of the perspective compared to the hypocisy of Dennis' situations. Gave you a 5.

Let me know if you have or ever will write a story from the perspective of April's husband. He is comfortablebwith his impotence and his wife's attendance. Is he happy? Resigned, but not happy? Willing to put up with it just so hisvwife foes not leave him?

Thanks!

 

[Lifestyle66]

I enjoyed your story. You right very well and your narrator had a very interesting voice. Lifestyle stories are not my primarily my interest. I can certainly understand where both partners are comfortable with the lifestyle and willing to be loyal to each other in their own way like Ted and Jen. So well done. A good explanation of the perspective compared to the hypocisy of Dennis' situations. Gave you a 5.

Let me know if you have or ever will write a story from the perspective of April's husband. He is comfortablebwith his impotence and his wife's attendance. Is he happy? Resigned, but not happy? Willing to put up with it just so hisvwife foes not leave him?

Thanks!

I don't know if I'll continue with a story focused on April and her impotent husband. To me, love and marriage are not the same as sex. Maybe it takes a divorce and second marriage later in life to appreciate the difference. But husbands and wives can grow apart and still stay together if they both choose to understand it.

As my MFC character said in the story: "We're pragmatic about it. Couples just need to know and trust their own spouse, then find the right friends."

It's jealousy, insecurities, and too much focus internally on themselves which destroy a marriage. Think about giving your spouse a gift of sex as I showed in my "Amorous Goods: The Anklet Pair" to see how it might work.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

I find it really funny that rather than go outside, touch some grass and interact with women, this person comes into the AH talking like an alien who's only ever read about women in magazines.

 

[Duleigh]

It's a common occurrence here and elsewhere on the forum. At this point, it's like my reality tv.

I wish it were more like my reality TV with documentaries on history and space exploration

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm sure I said this somewhere in this never ending thread-BTW, want to keep a thread going? Discuss how awful men think women are-but I'll say it again for people not reading through it...I wanted to do a spin off of are men really as insecure and whiny as the LW trolls are...

But this thread provides the answer to that question.

Try not blaming women and trey being an actual human being and you shouldn't have any problems.

The real cucks are the ones crying and mansplaining in this thread. Showed it to my daughters at one point, as my occasional example to them of why so many men are trash, so appreciate the good ones because there's a lot of them, they're just drowned out by the incels and whiners