OK... so there are no women on here...

[Diosax]

Oh the “I’m a nice guy” are the worst!

Exactly! They expect so much for the bare minimum

 

[KatieDoes]

Maybe he is lonely

He’s definitely lonely.

And I promise that he believes with all his heart that the reason he is lonely is that women don’t want good nice guys, like him.

Even though he essentially posted ‘women think <this>’ and when women replied with ‘no we don’t’ he dismissed us, got combative, defensive, and then the only opinions in the thread he gave any credence to were the opinions of other men.

But the problem is that he’s just too much of a good guy, and women don’t give good guys like him a chance. Obviously.

 

[KatieDoes]

He gives me young, inexperienced, doesn't have any "game" "nice guy" vibes. Someone with a lot of erroneous preconceived notions about women that are just misogynist

He’s got big ‘I’m a nice guy, you bitch!’ energy. Fucking dime a dozen, these ‘nice’ guys….

 

[SkyeGirl32]

I’m also tired of people using the excuse of “but he’s lonely” as an excuse for the way he was behaving. Stop trying to excuse that sort of behavior.

 

[drklatinreturn]

I’m also tired of people using the excuse of “but he’s lonely” as an excuse for the way he was behaving. Stop trying to excuse that sort of behavior.

I was trying to de - escalate a thread that has gone on waaay too long in prime 2022 fashion.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

I was trying to de - escalate a thread that has gone on waaay too long in prime 2022 fashion.

I get that. But I’m just tired of people trying it to give guys who behave like that free passes. :/

 

[KatieDoes]

I was trying to de - escalate a thread that has gone on waaay too long in prime 2022 fashion.

But you were trying to de escalate the thread by making the offending man more comfortable by dismissing the women‘s concerns about him.

i genuinely don’t think that you did that intentionally or with malice intended towards the women posting here….. but that is what you did. Something to think about. It runs deep.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

But you were trying to de escalate the thread by making the offending man more comfortable by dismissing the women‘s concerns about him.

i genuinely don’t think that you did that intentionally or with malice intended towards the women posting here….. but that is what you did. Something to think about. It runs deep.

That’s exactly how I felt. Like how we felt about this whole thing doesn’t matter and it was being done to make him feel more comfortable. And excuse his behavior. Just because something makes one uncomfortable doesn’t mean it always has to be deescalated - sometimes we need to sit with that discomfort.

That guy did this to himself with how he was behaving and dismissing how the women who told him otherwise was feeling. We didn’t do any of this. He stated his opinions. We stated ours and he got butt hurt over it because no one was agreeing with him. If he’s allowed to state his opinions, so are we.

 

[Plane_Guy]

Dear God.

It's like turning over a stone and watching the bug life scuttle from the bright light.

For the sake of clarity, I repeat (not that the scuttlers will want to hear it): I never came on here to get into any woman's underwear. This site is supposed to be about writing (the clue is in its name). All I was seeking was a female partner interested in writing and plot/scenario discussion. Period, end of.

Got it yet?

Anyway, as it turns out there are either no women interested in that kind of arrangement or no women at all. Logically, there's no other possibility. I tend towards the latter view and I know I'm not alone. So, I've given up on trying to find the unfindable and will now welcome anyone, subject to the few but major provisos I mentioned. That's all I'm saying.

You can get yourself worked up into a socio-sexual lather as much as you want by reading (deliberately) erroneous things into what I've said but it just bounces off me.

Thanks to the few decent people who PM'd me... reply coming shortly.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Referring to women as an infestation? Normally I don't give a shit, but that's beyond inappropriate. Seek help man.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

What the fuck is wrong with you? Referring to women as an infestation? Normally I don't give a shit, but that's beyond inappropriate. Seek help man.

What’s wrong with him is he’s so full of himself that he doesn’t seem to think he’s the problem. We are the problem to him since clearly we aren’t understanding what he is looking for properly.

 

[Plane_Guy]

What’s wrong with him is he’s so full of himself that he doesn’t seem to think he’s the problem. We are the problem to him since clearly we aren’t understanding what he is looking for properly.

Thank you, but I was not honestly asking what is wrong with him. He's aware, as are we, what his problem is.

I was just taken aback by his audacity, to put in print, one of the worst things I've ever seen said on this site.

That kind of thing requires a truly disgusting individual.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Thank you, but I was not honestly asking what is wrong with him. He's aware, as are we, what his problem is.

I was just taken aback by his audacity, to put in print, one of the worst things I've ever seen said on this site.

That kind of thing requires a truly disgusting individual.

But its #notallmen … this is why women don’t trust men… cuz guys like that exist.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

Thank you, but I was not honestly asking what is wrong with him. He's aware, as are we, what his problem is.

I was just taken aback by his audacity, to put in print, one of the worst things I've ever seen said on this site.

That kind of thing requires a truly disgusting individual.

Thing is, I don’t know if he’s actually aware of what’s wrong with him. Because the two messages I’ve seen of his - women always seem to be blamed for it…

But its #notallmen … this is why women don’t trust men… cuz guys like that exist

I hate that whole thing of not all men. We know it’s not all men… but thing is, we don’t know who the horrible men are or the creeps… so we have to be wary of all men…. Though some men - like him - make it easy to see what their true colors are.

 

[Plane_Guy]

But its #notallmen … this is why women don’t trust men… cuz guys like that exist.

I'm aware. I probably shouldn't have even posted.

Was just surprised, that's all.

 

[Diosax]

Fighting the urge to compliment @Plane_Guy for being decent bc that should be the standard.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

"Wary of all men" makes me sad to see. There are some real asses out there. They show their colors quickly. It's a shame if other guys need to pay for the asses' actions. Really it's not so much that not all men are asses. It's more like most men aren't asses. Assume good first and adjust as you go.

Thing is… I’m sick of being told that we are making others pay for others actions. That’s how how it is… the fact that my exes all seemed fine. Until they weren’t. All of them were abusive. But didn’t show that until I was stuck.

Men do not get how it’s like to be a woman on this planet. You think that it’s easy to just “Assess” and assume it’s good… that’s how I ended up in MULTIPLE abusive relationships!

And not all of them show their true colors quickly… speaking from experience …

 

[SkyeGirl32]

Assuming things are good is what got me into loads of trouble… so excuse me if I won’t be doing that. And stop telling women how we are supposed to feel when you have no idea what it’s like for us.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

I'm sorry you went through that. I hope it improves for you. And just a side note, I know what it's like being a woman.
Again, I hope things work out better for you in the future

It just hit me the wrong way when you said “assume the best and change as need be” because I have done that and it rarely goes well…. Most of us are wary of all men because we can’t tell who’s a bad person and who isn’t. I wish it wasn’t like that. But that is how it is.

 

[KatieDoes]

"Wary of all men" makes me sad to see. There are some real asses out there. They show their colors quickly. It's a shame if other guys need to pay for the asses' actions. Really it's not so much that not all men are asses. It's more like most men aren't asses. Assume good first and adjust as you go.

Nah.

Vast life experiences had led me to the conclusion that good men: men that see women as equals, men that like women as friends, men that aren’t toxic and overcome with fragility, are the exception, not the rule.

They exist. They’re wonderful. They’re worth weeding through the nonsense to find. I’m lucky enough to get to be a full on filthy fucking whore for one in particular that has shown to be deserving of such filthy fucking whoredom.

But they’re not the norm. Not even close.

It has not served me well to assume the best about every man until he does something awful enough to cause me to change my mind. So I don’t. Nope.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

I get it. I really do. I just don't like the blanket being put on everyone because there are so many good people out there. We just seem to have lots of #notallmen things on here. I keep waiting for someone to say #notallwomen
I honestly hope you will find someone to respect you as you deserve. It's very important.

But you also have to see it as respect and trust — and that goes both ways and BOTH have to be earned. Not given freely. And people say that because we truly DO NOT KNOW WHOS BAD! We know it isn’t all men but to basically imply that we as women have to be totally fine with all men unless that man shows that he isn’t trust worthy isn’t right at all. We are allowed to be wary and not trust men… not all of us have happy perfect pasts that make it easy for us to be able to do that. I know I sure as hell can’t.

And I doubt I ever will. -.- I don’t trust anyone enough to let them in like that.

 

[Diosax]

Thing is… I’m sick of being told that we are making others pay for others actions. That’s how how it is… the fact that my exes all seemed fine. Until they weren’t. All of them were abusive. But didn’t show that until I was stuck.

Men do not get how it’s like to be a woman on this planet. You think that it’s easy to just “Assess” and assume it’s good… that’s how I ended up in MULTIPLE abusive relationships!

And not all of them show their true colors quickly… speaking from experience …

I'm so sorry you had to go through those experiences. The way you feel is valid!

 

[NorthernVAM]

I understand how Cassandra had to feel. Seeing the future and no one listens.

Pardon me, I didn't pay attention to what you said there ....

 

[KatieDoes]

I get it. I really do. I just don't like the blanket being put on everyone because there are so many good people out there. We just seem to have lots of #notallmen things on here. I keep waiting for someone to say #notallwomen
I honestly hope you will find someone to respect you as you deserve. It's very important.

I’m way more worried about how often women get abused than I am by how often men get their feelings hurt. Call me a radical.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

I'm so sorry you had to go through those experiences. The way you feel is valid!

It’s okay. It is what it is. It just pisses me off so much when I hear people who get annoyed when us women need to be wary of men because we honestly don’t know until it’s been proven to us - that it’s safe. I don’t give that trust out easily anymore. I used to do what they suggested - believe all is good until it’s not. And that’s proven bad advice as it’s ended in me getting badly emotionally hurt more than once.

Thanks for validating it. Makes me feel like I’m not just talking to a brick wall who isn’t hearing me.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

I’m way more worried about how often women get abused than I am by how often men get their feelings hurt. Call me a radical.

I second this 100%.