Ladies of Lit, your thoughts please!

[3dsartiste]

So, I've been in a sexless relationship for a long time. Sex hurts her, and it's never, ever been good.
My question is, for you lovely ladies...
And this sounds really stupid, so sarcastic comments should just be said aloud to your screen instead of typed, but...
Do you like sex? Like, actively enjoy it and pursue it? I've never had anyone want to initiate with me, pretty much because of the pain issue.
Sorry for sounding stupid.

 

[Caligirl90]

Im sorry about your situation. To answer ur question, yes i love sex. Much more so now in my 40s than ever before. Im much more confident sexually and adventurous. I do initiate sex from my partner and hope one day u get 2 experience how that feels.

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

Yeah i like sex. That said, i tend to let guys pursue me, rather than the other way around.

 

[Philthy_Phil]

Judging by your post I think that maybe your partner thinks you're a dipshit and doesn't want to sleep with a mook.

 

[Saint_Ann]

So, I've been in a sexless relationship for a long time. Sex hurts her, and it's never, ever been good.
My question is, for you lovely ladies...
And this sounds really stupid, so sarcastic comments should just be said aloud to your screen instead of typed, but...
Do you like sex? Like, actively enjoy it and pursue it? I've never had anyone want to initiate with me, pretty much because of the pain issue.
Sorry for sounding stupid.

Maybe it's you. Maybe your're no good at the sex.

 

[ericalauren]

What type(s) of sex hurt her? Is it just PIV sex that hurts?

 

[3dsartiste]

What type(s) of sex hurt her? Is it just PIV sex that hurts?

Yeah, there was vaginismus and scarring to deal with, so the whole penetration thing is pretty much off the table.

 

[Saint_Ann]

Yeah, there was vaginismus and scarring to deal with, so the whole penetration thing is pretty much off the table.

Define relationship.

 

[dolf]

Yeah, there was vaginismus and scarring to deal with, so the whole penetration thing is pretty much off the table.

It's refreshing to hear this from someone who isn't resentful or using it to justify infidelity.

In answer to your question, once the novelty value of a new partner wares off, so does my sex drive. Novelty value will have me instigating three times a night, but after that I don't care if we never shag again. The sex (or lack of) is in no way related to the quality of the sex, the attractiveness of the partner, or the amount of love and affection I'm feeling.

 

[lovetoread]

Yo "ladies",

I hooked up with this person who I never ever had good sex with. I knew this going in, so I stayed and am suffering from a lack of sex due to being surprised that my sex life did not end up being as I thought it should be.

I know that this could not really be a physical issue nor could I just be bad in bed so I am seeking "ladies" who can tell me that they actually do not like sex so I can excuse my looking for sympathy sex and cheating on my partner.

I am ignoring the fact that sex can be a heck of lot of things that does not have to include penetration, but getting my dick wet is the most important thing.

So anyways, it has to be that "ladies" just dont like sex.

PS, pm me if you are willing to give me something to poke my wingdinger in.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

Slow clap of appreciation for the above. She nailed it. (This is said without sarcasm so as not to further upset the OP).

 

[islandman]

Yo "ladies",

I hooked up with this person who I never ever had good sex with. I knew this going in, so I stayed and am suffering from a lack of sex due to being surprised that my sex life did not end up being as I thought it should be.

I know that this could not really be a physical issue nor could I just be bad in bed so I am seeking "ladies" who can tell me that they actually do not like sex so I can excuse my looking for sympathy sex and cheating on my partner.

I am ignoring the fact that sex can be a heck of lot of things that does not have to include penetration, but getting my dick wet is the most important thing.

So anyways, it has to be that "ladies" just dont like sex.

PS, pm me if you are willing to give me something to poke my wingdinger in.

On the last day of the year, I witnessed a murder.

Wasn't expecting that.

 

[Aglaopheme]

Ontario, Canada.
36 M
Looking for some distance fun, no strings

Been married a while, sexless, passionless. I'll get that right out of the way.
I'm looking for a lovely lady to chat with.
Want to chat about random things?
I'm your guy.
Want to get a bit flirty?
Same.
Want to get hot and heavy?
I'm down, but we need to do the first two first.
Email preferred over dm, pics once trust is built, fun with no strings attached.
Looking forward to see what the wonderful women of Lit have to offer!

It's refreshing to hear this from someone who isn't resentful or using it to justify infidelity.

In answer to your question, once the novelty value of a new partner wares off, so does my sex drive. Novelty value will have me instigating three times a night, but after that I don't care if we never shag again. The sex (or lack of) is in no way related to the quality of the sex, the attractiveness of the partner, or the amount of love and affection I'm feeling.

You spoke too soon, unless you were being sarcastic.

Yo "ladies",

I hooked up with this person who I never ever had good sex with. I knew this going in, so I stayed and am suffering from a lack of sex due to being surprised that my sex life did not end up being as I thought it should be.

I know that this could not really be a physical issue nor could I just be bad in bed so I am seeking "ladies" who can tell me that they actually do not like sex so I can excuse my looking for sympathy sex and cheating on my partner.

I am ignoring the fact that sex can be a heck of lot of things that does not have to include penetration, but getting my dick wet is the most important thing.

So anyways, it has to be that "ladies" just dont like sex.

PS, pm me if you are willing to give me something to poke my wingdinger in.

^^^^All of that.

Slow clap of appreciation for the above. She nailed it. (This is said without sarcasm so as not to further upset the OP).

I really feel poorly for him.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Posts directed to the ladies never work out well.

Unless you are asking for advice about vacuum cleaners...

 

[stickygirl]

Ugh crap
https://www.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/4014885.jpg

 

[dolf]

You spoke too soon, unless you were being sarcastic.

I'm never sarcastic.

 

[FL30]

Yo "ladies",

I hooked up with this person who I never ever had good sex with. I knew this going in, so I stayed and am suffering from a lack of sex due to being surprised that my sex life did not end up being as I thought it should be.

I know that this could not really be a physical issue nor could I just be bad in bed so I am seeking "ladies" who can tell me that they actually do not like sex so I can excuse my looking for sympathy sex and cheating on my partner.

I am ignoring the fact that sex can be a heck of lot of things that does not have to include penetration, but getting my dick wet is the most important thing.

So anyways, it has to be that "ladies" just dont like sex.

PS, pm me if you are willing to give me something to poke my wingdinger in.

THIS!!!!

 

[FL30]

So, I've been in a sexless relationship for a long time. Sex hurts her, and it's never, ever been good.
My question is, for you lovely ladies...
And this sounds really stupid, so sarcastic comments should just be said aloud to your screen instead of typed, but...
Do you like sex? Like, actively enjoy it and pursue it? I've never had anyone want to initiate with me, pretty much because of the pain issue.
Sorry for sounding stupid.

You're an idiot. Because you never had good sex, but you married anyway. So, it's your own fault as you knew it going into the marriage.

But, NOW you're complaining!

You did this yourself and no one is going to feel sorry for you, now.

boo, hoo

SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

 

[Kittenhugs]

I am genuinely shocked you consider this a relationship worth staying in

 

[Bighammerfucker]

So, I've been in a sexless relationship for a long time. Sex hurts her, and it's never, ever been good.
My question is, for you lovely ladies...
And this sounds really stupid, so sarcastic comments should just be said aloud to your screen instead of typed, but...
Do you like sex? Like, actively enjoy it and pursue it? I've never had anyone want to initiate with me, pretty much because of the pain issue.
Sorry for sounding stupid.

Wow, so many rude replies in this thread, hey?

Devil’s advocate I guess. I literally haven’t ever been someone who liked having sex with others much. But that’s a very obscure opinion I guess, so I let that really get in my head while I was younger and I would basically force myself to try to have sex with people and enjoy it.

Eventually I learned how to enjoy having sex with someone! Yay! Awesome! A miracle, right? But at what cost, you ask? Well, my self-identity and mental health, because by putting myself in that situation, I was actually trying to be someone I’m really not. And when you spend a long time doing that, it really, really eats at you.

Long ago though - before I made that mistake - I was in a long-term relationship a lot like yours (but on the female end, and my issue wasn’t pain, but the fact that I wasn’t ever a fan of sex with someone else). I loved my s/o very much. We had a great relationship besides the sex. Eventually though we did split for a variety of reasons but a big one was that we just weren’t compatible sexually and it was taking its toll. He wanted sex. I didn’t. I was letting the pressure get into my head, and he was depressed over having a partner that didn’t return his affections.

All in all not a good situation. It was hard because we were still in love when we split up. We considered multiple times getting back together but we always came back to the same issue - we don’t have compatible sexual orientations. All trying to ignore that fact has ever done for me is make me resent him, or anyone else who tries to pressure me.

I think sometimes we fall in love with people we can’t be wholly compatible with. And you have to make the decision whether or not you can live with that. For me, I couldn’t, and I know I made the right decision because for the first time in my life, I can “breathe easier” over the last 6 months - 6 months in which I’ve been happily single without any desire to seek a partner. Will that always be the case? I don’t know. People change, that’s another thing. Libidos go up and down. Injuries happen. You have to decide if love is enough or if you are going to spend the rest of your life asking yourself “what if”.