Sex after Menopause - same, less, or more?

[Lonelygirlfun]

Welcoming feedback from men and women on this….

I’ve read a lot on lit about women’s sex drive basically dying after menopause. Has anyone experienced the opposite? Has anyone’s sex drive remained the same or increased? If increased, were you somewhat, moderately, or very sexual prior to menopause?

Thanks in advance!!!

PS - not sure this topic belongs in this thread. Apologies if not. And please no DMs…respond in the thread!!!

 

[haventdonethat]

Have only known GF (63YO) for a couple of years and menopause hit her before my time.
From what we have shared I would venture that her sex drive was only moderate before and when we first met.
She is now the horniest, sex loving, sex starved, multi multi orgasmic woman I have ever met or even heard of. A real sexual dynamo.
Thankfully we only see each other every week or so.

 

[Islander55]

Actually menopause can be liberating. I was fortunate to not have any serious issues during menopause and eliminating the risk of pregnancy does open up possibilities. I am not sure that my desire has increased but it certainly has not decreased. I think part of it is having the time and energy to devote to sex and having a partner willing to let me explore. I expect that for many women who has lost their desire for sex after menopause that it is more about the relationship than sex. I think we all need to make some concession to age as we get older in terms of being comfortable.

 

[Mohavekid]

My wife now age 56 had an oophorectomy about 5 years ago. It immediately put her into menopause.

It took about 18 months for that to impact her sex drive wich previously had been fairly high.
Her drive now is absolutely zero, and has been for 2-3 years.

We have discussed at length, and sadly she doesn't feel what she and we are missing together.

She just started estrogen replacement therapy this week.

I am really hoping it helps.

She doesn't really feel what we are missing despite my attempts to explain.

 

[magicalmoments]

Hi - Thank you for bringing up this topic. There is a grain of truth to the belief that for many women their sex drive is significantly diminished after menopause.

I have close friends who have struggled with increased vaginal dryness and loss of desire that makes sex painful and unwelcomed. They have partners who don’t take the time to make sure that they are fully aroused. These women don’t make their needs known and just give up.

However, at 61 years old, I’m having the best, most satisfying sex of my life. I’m more adventurous, more confident, and I know when a touch of lube will make things magical.

Prior to menopause I was more inhibited and vanilla. I was a proper lady, even in the bedroom. Now, I’m still a lady when necessary but I’ve let my inner vixen loose. Hey if not now, when, right!

double tick, gold star.

 

[Toylovr]

Hi - Thank you for bringing up this topic. There is a grain of truth to the belief that for many women their sex drive is significantly diminished after menopause.

I have close friends who have struggled with increased vaginal dryness and loss of desire that makes sex painful and unwelcomed. They have partners who don’t take the time to make sure that they are fully aroused. These women don’t make their needs known and just give up.

However, at 61 years old, I’m having the best, most satisfying sex of my life. I’m more adventurous, more confident, and I know when a touch of lube will make things magical.

Prior to menopause I was more inhibited and vanilla. I was a proper lady, even in the bedroom. Now, I’m still a lady when necessary but I’ve let my inner vixen loose. Hey if not now, when, right!

April is SO right! My wife is going through this for the past few years, dryness, pain, etc. To the point that she really doesn't want sex. VERY difficult for me. I want it often. I'm all for the extra lube, the time to get her turned on, etc. Often its not enough. Sad actually. Before menopause, she was hornier than a rabbit. It was awesome, one of the amazing things I love about her. Wish I could find that woman again. She has the beautifully curved body of a woman and I want to explore every inch of it again like we always used to.

It sucks what life does to a woman's body and sex drive. I'd like to know what women in this situation want men to do to help them through it, to make things better! That would be the true answer, naturally repair what nature is messing up for the woman.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Welcoming feedback from men and women on this….

I’ve read a lot on lit about women’s sex drive basically dying after menopause. Has anyone experienced the opposite? Has anyone’s sex drive remained the same or increased? If increased, were you somewhat, moderately, or very sexual prior to menopause?

Thanks in advance!!!

PS - not sure this topic belongs in this thread. Apologies if not. And please no DMs…respond in the thread!!!

from my perspective LESS---, A LOT LESS

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Welcoming feedback from men and women on this….

I’ve read a lot on lit about women’s sex drive basically dying after menopause. Has anyone experienced the opposite? Has anyone’s sex drive remained the same or increased? If increased, were you somewhat, moderately, or very sexual prior to menopause?

Thanks in advance!!!

PS - not sure this topic belongs in this thread. Apologies if not. And please no DMs…respond in the thread!!!

I'm 47, in perimenopause.. My sex drive has increased the last few months, for sure!
Prior to that, I had almost zero interest in sex.
I think it's due to a life change, could be hormones. If I'm not masturbating a few days a week, I'm thinking about sex!

 

[Mtnmike]

My wife had already started losing interest because of some health issues & her medications, when she went through menopause it was the final nail in the coffin. 12 plus years without anything & counting.

 

[phil1955]

My wife had already started losing interest because of some health issues & her medications, when she went through menopause it was the final nail in the coffin. 12 plus years without anything & counting.

Health issues can be a major problem. At least they are getting to be for me. As for my wife, the only issue is that she sometimes needs some extra lube. She never liked fucking when she had her period so now she is good to go all month long. With my blessing she has even taken on some additional lovers.

 

[Mtnmike]

Health issues can be a major problem. At least they are getting to be for me. As for my wife, the only issue is that she sometimes needs some extra lube. She never liked fucking when she had her period so now she is good to go all month long. With my blessing she has even taken on some additional lovers.

Have to say, that's kind of you, i've read you both have this option, nice to see a couple that can enjoy it together. Mine seems to change her mind often on me finding another, very confusing & frustrating.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

April is SO right! My wife is going through this for the past few years, dryness, pain, etc. To the point that she really doesn't want sex. VERY difficult for me. I want it often. I'm all for the extra lube, the time to get her turned on, etc. Often its not enough. Sad actually. Before menopause, she was hornier than a rabbit. It was awesome, one of the amazing things I love about her. Wish I could find that woman again. She has the beautifully curved body of a woman and I want to explore every inch of it again like we always used to.

It sucks what life does to a woman's body and sex drive. I'd like to know what women in this situation want men to do to help them through it, to make things better! That would be the true answer, naturally repair what nature is messing up for the woman.

Up until we got married my wife and I were like rabbits but after that ring went on the finger, the change was almost immediate. Suddenly there was no time for me to give her oral sex and after five minutes or so of penetrative sex she was looking at her watch or the clock on the wall asking when I was going to be done. It got to the point where---, just like I have said in other posts...get up, get on, get off. It got SO FUCKING BAD, I was getting off in literally three minutes and once got off in sixty seconds. And she wasn't even 23 years old!!! Twelve years later she went into menopause for the next fucking decade, she couldn't stand to be touched and the closest I let myself get with her was to hold her hand on a walk. She didn't start to enjoy me touching her again for almost another ten years...and the first sign of her enjoying my touch again, she had a fever of 103 and was passed out. But when I slid my hand down her back she moaned BUT NOT IN DISGUST. So I wouldstart doing that, just touching her with no expectations. Then expanding my explorations, it took almost another three years before she let me touch her breasts or her vagina in a soft manner but still not sexually. We finally had sex on her 49 birthday, MIND YOU I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT HER VAGINAL DRYNESS difficulties until that day, because she wouldn't talk to me about sex. At present we might have sex maybe twice a week if neither of us are sick but then one of us will usually get physically sick with one thing or another. Respiratory infection, sinus infection, vaginal discharge of some sort, herpes or some damn thing, almost E-V-E-R-Y single time we have sex. We went to an allergist because we thought we might stumble onto what was the underlying cause, we never did and still haven't.
I try to tell her or at least engage her in conversation concerning our sex life and she is fine with, she insists that there is nothing wrong but yet when I will enter her (on that rare occasion) she will wince like Im equipped like you big dicked boys. And just act so uncomfortable I got to get off her and just jack off and then she gets all pissed off like this is all part of some twisted master plan of mine. Two months ago was the last time we had sex, I held off from it because she wouldn't let me eat her. After about an hour she relented and let me have my way, after 15 minutes, she pushed me away and told me to go smoke my weed or WHATEVER, now I'm confused, so I asked what i Did wrong, she tells me I did nothing wrong, that she felt bad that it would take her so long to get off. It took me all night trying to convince her that I ENJOY being down there and licking and sucking on her like I was...she sixty two fucking years old... yeah baby I get it you ain't nineteen no more AND YA AINT EVER GOING TO BE 19 AGAIN AND I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES TILL MIDNIGHT. I'm here for the long haul. Its a slow process...so fucking slow its almost glacial...but if thats what it takes --, I'm all in.

 

[Toylovr]

Up until we got married my wife and I were like rabbits but after that ring went on the finger, the change was almost immediate. Suddenly there was no time for me to give her oral sex and after five minutes or so of penetrative sex she was looking at her watch or the clock on the wall asking when I was going to be done. It got to the point where---, just like I have said in other posts...get up, get on, get off. It got SO FUCKING BAD, I was getting off in literally three minutes and once got off in sixty seconds. And she wasn't even 23 years old!!! Twelve years later she went into menopause for the next fucking decade, she couldn't stand to be touched and the closest I let myself get with her was to hold her hand on a walk. She didn't start to enjoy me touching her again for almost another ten years...and the first sign of her enjoying my touch again, she had a fever of 103 and was passed out. But when I slid my hand down her back she moaned BUT NOT IN DISGUST. So I wouldstart doing that, just touching her with no expectations. Then expanding my explorations, it took almost another three years before she let me touch her breasts or her vagina in a soft manner but still not sexually. We finally had sex on her 49 birthday, MIND YOU I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT HER VAGINAL DRYNESS difficulties until that day, because she wouldn't talk to me about sex. At present we might have sex maybe twice a week if neither of us are sick but then one of us will usually get physically sick with one thing or another. Respiratory infection, sinus infection, vaginal discharge of some sort, herpes or some damn thing, almost E-V-E-R-Y single time we have sex. We went to an allergist because we thought we might stumble onto what was the underlying cause, we never did and still haven't.
I try to tell her or at least engage her in conversation concerning our sex life and she is fine with, she insists that there is nothing wrong but yet when I will enter her (on that rare occasion) she will wince like Im equipped like you big dicked boys. And just act so uncomfortable I got to get off her and just jack off and then she gets all pissed off like this is all part of some twisted master plan of mine. Two months ago was the last time we had sex, I held off from it because she wouldn't let me eat her. After about an hour she relented and let me have my way, after 15 minutes, she pushed me away and told me to go smoke my weed or WHATEVER, now I'm confused, so I asked what i Did wrong, she tells me I did nothing wrong, that she felt bad that it would take her so long to get off. It took me all night trying to convince her that I ENJOY being down there and licking and sucking on her like I was...she sixty two fucking years old... yeah baby I get it you ain't nineteen no more AND YA AINT EVER GOING TO BE 19 AGAIN AND I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES TILL MIDNIGHT. I'm here for the long haul. Its a slow process...so fucking slow its almost glacial...but if thats what it takes --, I'm all in.

Yeah, a lot of that is true in my situation. Its sad that a woman won't believe her man when he is there, patient, willing, wanting. Only to get a door basically slammed in our face. Not bitching, just frustrated. Want to help so much, but just not allowed. I'm open to try anything with her, to make her want sex, to make her feel sexy.
Just a long road ahead - but Im willing to walk it WITH her.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Yeah, a lot of that is true in my situation. Its sad that a woman won't believe her man when he is there, patient, willing, wanting. Only to get a door basically slammed in our face. Not bitching, just frustrated. Want to help so much, but just not allowed. I'm open to try anything with her, to make her want sex, to make her feel sexy.
Just a long road ahead - but Im willing to walk it WITH her.

As I am willing to walk it with her...the waiting in between is where I fail to thrive. She understands my frustration and she suspects ALL SORTS of things but she doesn't ask anymore.

 

[Shi_One81]

I had to have a hysterectomy at 33 which sent me into menopause. I can happily report that for me, my sex drive increased significantly.

 

[Mtnmike]

As I am willing to walk it with her...the waiting in between is where I fail to thrive. She understands my frustration and she suspects ALL SORTS of things but she doesn't ask anymore.

Is this how most women react to it? Like yours, mine suspect's to but never says a word.

 

[HampshireBoy]

When my wife and I met she was already in to the menopause, hadn't had a period for about a year. She reckons that she got more horny on entering menopause, but it fluctuates now - depending on how busy we are. She also seems to get more horny roughly every twenty-eight days, talking to her friends that seems to not be uncommon. Which is strange given that all of them are long past periods.

We have two friends whom are now in their seventies, both apparently got very horny and promiscous with menopause and still are (given the chance). We suspect that this is unusual, based on not much more than occasional comments from other friends.

From before my marriage I had a couple of friends whom started getting dry vaginas post menopause and we had to either use a lot of lubricant or concentrate on non-vaginal sex - both of them still seemed as keen on sex.

I believe that other friends lost interest and, from what my wife says, it seems to be those of her friends in long marriages who mainly seem to have lost interest. Though some that are single, seem to have accepted and given up as much as anything else - or can't be bothered with dating.

So, based on my unscientific sample, I suspect that it is more common the older a woman is that she doesn't want sex and by seventy we might be down to a ten percent "availability".

 

[OldFred65]

Welcoming feedback from men and women on this….

I’ve read a lot on lit about women’s sex drive basically dying after menopause. Has anyone experienced the opposite? Has anyone’s sex drive remained the same or increased? If increased, were you somewhat, moderately, or very sexual prior to menopause?

Thanks in advance!!!

PS - not sure this topic belongs in this thread. Apologies if not. And please no DMs…respond in the thread!!!

My wife's sex drive has never changed since I met her 44 years ago. She loved as much cock as she could get then and still does. So do I, by the way!

 

[klippert]

Still waiting for the after. How long does it last. Jeebus

 

[Treeview]

I'm 47, in perimenopause.. My sex drive has increased the last few months, for sure!
Prior to that, I had almost zero interest in sex.
I think it's due to a life change, could be hormones. If I'm not masturbating a few days a week, I'm thinking about sex!

I'm 67 and have dated Ladies plus or minus my age by about ten years mostly. Something I didn't realize in my early fifties was how much more sensual Ladies were. After a while I started to realize that something was in the water. Having talks about how menopause was for my Lovers made me realize that the Ladies that were dating brought along a much more fun approach to sex. This sure isn't scientific research...but sign me up if there is every any going on heheehe!~

One Lover said that it took her a while to get her hormone replacements balanced out. She was VERY happy with how things worked out. She said that she REALLY enjoyed how much more interesting and sensual sex had become...both with a Lover [Lucky Me!] or by herself. She said that was only part though. Overall she felt so much better not having her body feel so odd and her psyche being affected too.

Good news ahead for you!

 

[melodymkr4u]

Is this how most women react to it? Like yours, mine suspect's to but never says a word.

She probably doesn't ask because she knows.

 

[Crios]

It's been tough...

...on both of us but especially her, or course. She used to really enjoy sex. She still does but the urge to do things has gone way down. She does occasionally get "twinges" as she calls them and sometimes we're able to act on those feelings, for which I'm grateful.

Physiologically, she doesn't get as wet as she used to so we go through a lot of lube now. We used to use the lube just for anal play (both of us ) but now often need to use it for toys and vaginal penetration.

Also, it's VERY obvious her clit doesn't engorge with blood anymore. While she still orgasms when I stimulate her there (mouth, fingers, toys) her clit never comes out of the hood anymore.

She also says her orgasms feel different, like they come from inside rather than directly from her clit.

Finally, my wife has always been multi-orgasmic (lucky for her and ME! ). The record was nine times in one session, not that we were counting . Now, it's sometimes one or two or maybe three. Rarely more than that now.

Her doctor provided some hormonal cream which has helped with some of the issues. I think we're just learning to accept the fact that this is a life change for her and we'll just have to figure out how to cope.

(oh, yeah...it doesn't help that as her libido has decreased, mine has increased! )

 

[cubbyfire04]

My SO is just starting menopause very early due to a hysterectomy at a young age... And I must say, I am nowhere close to being able to keep up with her. Not sure if it is due to her age (early 40's) or the hormonal changes, but I can tell you she is a completely different woman sexually than she was prior.

Not only is she more interested in sex than ever, she has really cranked up her dominant side. So my cock isn't all she wants anymore, if you know what I mean...

 

[stiv837]

My wife went through early menopause, her sex drive has been reduced to zero. It's been eight years with no sex.

 

[sandybrooke]

Less, zero, none.
She was very apologetic about it and tried to satisfy for a while but lost all interest.
I masturbate alot now.