What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

[Texastuffbbc]

But there is a difference between the Pervy Randos and someone that can ask simple questions that his dick did not type out.
You've always been polite.

Sometimes even when the “dick” don’t type it the responses are not reciprocated, present company excluded.

 

[SassySheDevil]

This thread is so entertaining and very informative in a good way. I am learning more in 5js one the. I have in any other because some of the names I recognized from when I was more active, but now I have a better understanding about how it works around here. Staying in the thread and not in inboxes except in a cordial complimentary way.

Sometimes even when the “dick” don’t type it the responses are not reciprocated, present company excluded.

Women often do a lot of post stalking before replying. They too like to get an idea of what a person is like before replying.
If that person doesn't fit what they think they will click with. They will sometimes not reply.
Many women have said (Again, not all) that if a person has a low post count, they wont reply. Often because they can't judge what type of person they are.

I am one that does that now a days (didn't always) I will post stalk, get a feel for who they are. If they are funny, if they interact well etc.
If they come off as too thirsty, I usually will either not respond, or simply thank them for the message.

You have to remember, women get a lot of messages in most cases. So they have the Luxury of responding to the ones that catch their attention.
Guys, not so much.
That is why you will see guys beg for messages. Any message.

Go to any of the random message threads in the Personals and look at all the guys who will simple say "I'll take one", "HMU" etc. To me. That's fucking lazy. I will never random message a guy (when I'm in the mood to do this) that simply says that.
I look for the funny messages, or something with substance.

I don't expect people to leave books in such a thread. But damn. How about more than "HMU" Hit me up has become a term that makes my skin crawl.

 

[ydahecnot]

Women often do a lot of post stalking before replying. They too like to get an idea of what a person is like before replying.
If that person doesn't fit what they think they will click with. They will sometimes not reply.
Many women have said (Again, not all) that if a person has a low post count, they wont reply. Often because they can't judge what type of person they are.

I am one that does that now a days (didn't always) I will post stalk, get a feel for who they are. If they are funny, if they interact well etc.
If they come off as too thirsty, I usually will either not respond, or simply thank them for the message.

You have to remember, women get a lot of messages in most cases. So they have the Luxury of responding to the ones that catch their attention.
Guys, not so much.
That is why you will see guys beg for messages. Any message.

Go to any of the random message threads in the Personals and look at all the guys who will simple say "I'll take one", "HMU" etc. To me. That's fucking lazy. I will never random message a guy (when I'm in the mood to do this) that simply says that.
I look for the funny messages, or something with substance.

I don't expect people to leave books in such a thread. But damn. How about more than "HMU" Hit me up has become a term that makes my skin crawl.

HMD.

Better?

 

[Texastuffbbc]

Women often do a lot of post stalking before replying. They too like to get an idea of what a person is like before replying.
If that person doesn't fit what they think they will click with. They will sometimes not reply.
Many women have said (Again, not all) that if a person has a low post count, they wont reply. Often because they can't judge what type of person they are.

I am one that does that now a days (didn't always) I will post stalk, get a feel for who they are. If they are funny, if they interact well etc.
If they come off as too thirsty, I usually will either not respond, or simply thank them for the message.

You have to remember, women get a lot of messages in most cases. So they have the Luxury of responding to the ones that catch their attention.
Guys, not so much.
That is why you will see guys beg for messages. Any message.

Go to any of the random message threads in the Personals and look at all the guys who will simple say "I'll take one", "HMU" etc. To me. That's fucking lazy. I will never random message a guy (when I'm in the mood to do this) that simply says that.
I look for the funny messages, or something with substance.

I don't expect people to leave books in such a thread. But damn. How about more than "HMU" Hit me up has become a term that makes my skin crawl.

All points well taken. I have made it more of a habit since coming back online to hang out in the playground threads that interest me and are fun versus the personal forum. I am trying to learn how to play the games too in the playground. Sometimes I am lost and flub, but it is like riding a bike. No it is not I am just old. Lol

 

[Xerxes82]

.
That is why you will see guys beg for messages. Any message.

Go to any of the random message threads in the Personals and look at all the guys who will simple say "I'll take one", "HMU" etc. To me. That's fucking lazy. I will never random message a guy (when I'm in the mood to do this) that simply says that.
I look for the funny messages, or something with substance.

I don't expect people to leave books in such a thread. But damn. How about more than "HMU" Hit me up has become a term that makes my skin crawl.

So I think Sassy has an interesting point here, but it gets at something I'm feeling nosey about today.

Is this laziness? Shyness? Some weird concept that they are so awesome the woman should be the one putting in effort?

I'm not one to beg for messages. Used to be a PM was super exciting and a reason to log in. Increasingly I'm just not a fan of the system. I still send them, rarely. Better that than clogging up or hijacking somebody else's thread for whatever weird. And I generally always try to respond to the even rarer message I get, because why not? Unless it's something truly bizarre anyway.

But stuff like this makes me curious. I see it a lot in Personals threads. Rather than reach out, or even make an effort in the thread, people (usually dudes) just type HMU or 'Send me a message.' Does it work? It is time efficient if you're trying to catch 'em all Pokemon style? Is it as low effort as it appears?

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Women often do a lot of post stalking before replying. They too like to get an idea of what a person is like before replying.
If that person doesn't fit what they think they will click with. They will sometimes not reply.
Many women have said (Again, not all) that if a person has a low post count, they wont reply. Often because they can't judge what type of person they are.

I am one that does that now a days (didn't always) I will post stalk, get a feel for who they are. If they are funny, if they interact well etc.
If they come off as too thirsty, I usually will either not respond, or simply thank them for the message.

You have to remember, women get a lot of messages in most cases. So they have the Luxury of responding to the ones that catch their attention.
Guys, not so much.
That is why you will see guys beg for messages. Any message.

Go to any of the random message threads in the Personals and look at all the guys who will simple say "I'll take one", "HMU" etc. To me. That's fucking lazy. I will never random message a guy (when I'm in the mood to do this) that simply says that.
I look for the funny messages, or something with substance.

I don't expect people to leave books in such a thread. But damn. How about more than "HMU" Hit me up has become a term that makes my skin crawl.

That is where a lot of guys fail. The constantly throw hail Marys, hoping one will get caught. If the took the time and worked through their playbook, picking up a few yards here and there, they stand a better chance of scoring. I know it's a silly football analogy, but it fits. Get to know a person's personality through their posts before PMing. There's no need to look desperate. If you make a presence, the PMs will come. Or so I've heard.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

My 2 cents...

Be the kind of man a Lit lady wants to get to know. Be fun, engaging, witty, confident, interesting, vulnerable, genuine, kind and a little flirty and mysterious. Being thirsty comes off as desperate and not attractive. Lazy is also not appealing. Stand out from the crowd. Oh, and don’t be a twat.

(These are just things that appeal to me and not necessarily to all the ladies here )

 

[Punkrockchick]

My 2 cents...

Be the kind of man a Lit lady wants to get to know. Be fun, engaging, witty, confident, interesting, vulnerable, genuine, kind and a little flirty and mysterious. Being thirsty comes off as desperate and not attractive. Lazy is also not appealing. Stand out from the crowd. Oh, and don’t be a twat.

(These are just things that appeal to me and not necessarily to all the ladies here )

When I get a pm like that, I ask them if the want some Gatorade. None of them get it

 

[Ratchetman1982]

When I get a pm like that, I ask them if the want some Gatorade. None of them get it

That's spectacular

 

[SassySheDevil]

HMD.

Better?

LOL Totally. I'm weak in the knees now.

All points well taken. I have made it more of a habit since coming back online to hang out in the playground threads that interest me and are fun versus the personal forum. I am trying to learn how to play the games too in the playground. Sometimes I am lost and flub, but it is like riding a bike. No it is not I am just old. Lol

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the personals area. Not because I'm looking, but sometimes, great conversations can be had there. The ones who take time to say something are fun to converse with.
Sometimes the playground threads can be hard to jump in and feel like one belongs.

But I just like seeing a person interact because it gives you a feel for who they are.

 

[SassySheDevil]

So I think Sassy has an interesting point here, but it gets at something I'm feeling nosey about today.

Is this laziness? Shyness? Some weird concept that they are so awesome the woman should be the one putting in effort?

I'm not one to beg for messages. Used to be a PM was super exciting and a reason to log in. Increasingly I'm just not a fan of the system. I still send them, rarely. Better that than clogging up or hijacking somebody else's thread for whatever weird. And I generally always try to respond to the even rarer message I get, because why not? Unless it's something truly bizarre anyway.

But stuff like this makes me curious. I see it a lot in Personals threads. Rather than reach out, or even make an effort in the thread, people (usually dudes) just type HMU or 'Send me a message.' Does it work? It is time efficient if you're trying to catch 'em all Pokemon style? Is it as low effort as it appears?

I think this goes back to Daisys comment. The fishing with a large net.
If only one person responds. It worked.

But it will never work with me. Some are much less picky though.

 

[Chillygirl]

Some are much less picky though.

Lol I feel so called out!

 

[SassySheDevil]

My 2 cents...

Be the kind of man a Lit lady wants to get to know. Be fun, engaging, witty, confident, interesting, vulnerable, genuine, kind and a little flirty and mysterious. Being thirsty comes off as desperate and not attractive. Lazy is also not appealing. Stand out from the crowd. Oh, and don’t be a twat.

(These are just things that appeal to me and not necessarily to all the ladies here )

This is true for me as well. Because, even in the real world. Ladies want someone that stands out in some way.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Lol I feel so called out!

LMAO!! If the shoe fits lady!!!

 

[Chillygirl]

LMAO!! If the shoe fits lady!!!

Every now and then there’s a shy guy who turns out to be a diamond amongst all the trash

I haven’t found him yet though

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I think this goes back to Daisys comment. The fishing with a large net.
If only one person responds. It worked.

But it will never work with me. Some are much less picky though.

I’m picky too. It’s worked for me. I’ve settled enough in my life, I’m sure not gonna do it on a sex site.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Every now and then there’s a shy guy who turns out to be a diamond amongst all the trash

I haven’t found him yet though

and truth be told. I've had that as well. But I only found that out because he knew how to PM something with substance. I'll overlook the low post count, most times, if he can be funny, or give me something that makes me think.
Word porn and I'm hooked.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

High 5 for the low post count guys.

 

[SassySheDevil]

That is where a lot of guys fail. The constantly throw hail Marys, hoping one will get caught. If the took the time and worked through their playbook, picking up a few yards here and there, they stand a better chance of scoring. I know it's a silly football analogy, but it fits. Get to know a person's personality through their posts before PMing. There's no need to look desperate. If you make a presence, the PMs will come. Or so I've heard.

and thank you. I agree with this. But often times guys will get upset when women want this.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

and thank you. I agree with this. But often times guys will get upset when women want this.

That's dumb though. What is it in here, like 100-1 in favor of guys? With odds like that, you have to find a way to stand out. Being a douche is a good way to stand out, but for the wrong reasons. Whatever happened to intellectual intercourse?

 

[Mei5ter]

So here's a question for guys.

Have you ever had an unsolicited PM from a woman here, looked at her posts, and decided...I'm sure she's great, but I don't think she's for me?

 

[SassySheDevil]

That's dumb though. What is it in here, like 100-1 in favor of guys? With odds like that, you have to find a way to stand out. Being a douche is a good way to stand out, but for the wrong reasons. Whatever happened to intellectual intercourse?

Truth? Probably goes back to the "Don't want to put effort in" thing. Those who don't have a problem with conversation/humor etc, will put forth that effort and not have a problem with it. Those who struggle, will be offended.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

So here's a question for guys.

Have you ever had an unsolicited PM from a woman here, looked at her posts, and decided...I'm sure she's great, but I don't think she's for me?

Honest answer, no. I will talk to anyone. It's fun getting to know someone new. But that's actually what I do. I attempt to get to know them as a person. I don't fish for E-boning

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Truth? Probably goes back to the "Don't want to put effort in" thing. Those who don't have a problem with conversation/humor etc, will put forth that effort and not have a problem with it. Those who struggle, will be offended.

Those people are fools. Turning on someone's mind is 1000% more intense than turning on someone's body. But what the hell so I know?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I'm going to throw a small curveball in this conversation -

I think the men of Lit often get a shit reputation (often justifiably) but I think just as many things could be said about the women of Lit.

I'm not taking playing or "slutty" behavior because I think that argument has been had a hundred times and explained suitably but...

I'm nosey why there does seem to be a separate set of rules for men and woman. First, let me say I am not pointing the finger at anyone in this thread so far. I don't know most of you well at all. Secondly, I want to avoid the "crazy girl" stereotype. But I have had experience with these three things with the ladies of Lit, as a friend or partner in the past.

1. Unreasonably high expectations.
2. Manipulation/Reputation Tarnishing
3. Ultra jealousy - and by this I mean more than a reasonable level, that's normal but the kind of Seek and Destroy attitude of anyone they see as in their orbit.

Again, no finger pointing but, as a feminist, turn about is fair play.

Also, as far as conversations go, how many of you ladies initiate the PM? Personally, I'm terrible at it and my ADD often has me replying to messages a week later but I do my best. Just curious!