Offensive term in story...?

[Nellymcboatface]

In this modern PC woke world in the UK, I am writing a light hearted piece between a Trans woman and another trans woman's boyfriend...
She's teasing him about a few things and I've used the term `gaydar '

In hindsight this may not be politically correct... I wouldn't deem it offensive in this context, but would others?

Or

is there a more suitable term - for all you young hipsters that are "down with the kids" out there?...

Nelly

 

[KeithD]

I wouldn't need anyone as a reader who would find the use of "gaydar" to be politically offensive. You'd have to be mulling a much more controversial term than that before I'd get anywhere close to a discussion on politically offensive words to be using.

 

[NotWise]

It's never occurred to me that "gaydar" might be offensive.

 

[CyranoJ]

No, there is no actual controversy[1] about the use of "gaydar." Just write what you're writing and have your characters make use of the language that makes sense in their context.

If in the future you should wish to give the impression that you actually care about the word harming someone other than you, maybe don't preface your questions like this:

In this modern PC woke world in the UK

https://media2.giphy.com/media/6yRVg0HWzgS88/200w.gif

Like... if you don't actually care about the choice of words for its own sake, and feel you have to use the occasion to serve up a requisite helping of whiny "PC has run amuck" word salad, then really. Why are you asking anyone to spend time on you? Because if that really reflects how you feel, you might as well dispense with the fucking pretense and just do what you were going to do.

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[1] I mean, there is the occasional "thought piece" about etiquette for the straights talking to the gays about how you can be an "ally" by not going on to your gay friends about how great your gaydar is and using other "homophobic" words and phrases.

But those pieces are mostly about the context of who is speaking, not the words themselves; they're basically the kind of Mx Manners stuff that people pay a limited amount of attention to in general; and certainly, they don't reflect how the queer community uses language internally.

 

[KeithD]

Why can't we leave this at "no, the use of 'gardar' shouldn't be offensive to any meaningful extent"?

 

[jaF0]

If in the future you should wish to give the impression that you actually care about the word harming someone other than you, maybe don't preface your questions like this:



Like... if you don't actually care about the choice of words for its own sake, and feel you have to use the occasion to serve up a requisite helping of whiny "PC has run amuck" word salad, then really. Why are you asking anyone to spend time on you? Because if that really reflects how you feel, you might as well dispense with the fucking pretense and just do what you were going to do.

To me, the 'W' word in the OP is more of a bother.

 

[KeithD]

To me, the 'W' word in the OP is more of a bother.

Yep, a lot of people here seemed to be bothered by the word "writing."

 

[ElectricBlue]

In this modern PC woke world in the UK, I am writing a light hearted piece between a Trans woman and another trans woman's boyfriend...
She's teasing him about a few things and I've used the term `gaydar '

In hindsight this may not be politically correct... I wouldn't deem it offensive in this context, but would others?

Or

is there a more suitable term - for all you young hipsters that are "down with the kids" out there?...

Nelly

If you're not personally familiar with the trans culture you might want to check with a trans woman first (and maybe calibrate your opening and closing lines, because they are a bit odd).

As an aside, my adult daughter has used the term gaydar for about a decade, because hers is finely tuned for both men and women; whereas my son is completely clueless and rarely knows when he's being hit on.

 

[lovecraft68]

Write whatever you want, and if it offends someone so what? "PC" is another word for censorship and anti free speech in writing.

Just as Thomas Harris isn't a cannibal serial killer an author is not a racist, sexist, or any other kind of ist or phobe if they write about characters saying or doing something offensive, especially considering 99.9% of the world is offensive to some faction of whiny snots.

If readers try to hold you to that and accuse you of being offensive, hand them a safety pin and tell them to go read something that went through sensitivity readers so it will be sufficiently watered down to snowflake level.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

It's never occurred to me that "gaydar" might be offensive.

It's not.

 

[Emirus]

I’d never heard of the term “gaydar” until reading it in this thread but, upon googling, I’ve discovered it’s been in use since the 1980’s and an internet dating site was set up in 1999.

I think, as in everyday speech, it’s not what you say it’s the way that you say it.

If in doubt I’d like to suggest you send a PM to MichelleNylons and ask her advice because I think, in a situation such as the OP has raised, a transperson is the best person to ask.

Michelle is a transgender person who has written a colossal number of stories about transpersons. She writes very good stories, which are plot driven, in which one or more of the characters is transgender. The stories would be just as good if the characters weren’t transgender.

 

[Lisas7ECA]

“Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.”

― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

 

[KeithD]

“Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.”

― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

??? "Gaydar" is a noun.

 

[AlinaX]

I'm struggling to understand why anyone would think 'gaydar' might be offensive.

 

[NotWise]

I'm struggling to understand why anyone would think 'gaydar' might be offensive.

Apparently no-one does. I was talking to an attractive young ballet dancer once, about a young man in the studio for an audition. She told me, "He doesn't tickle my gaydar, and I'm pretty sure he gave me a straight look."

I have that woman more than a few straight looks. But if "gaydar" is bad, then probably "straight look" needs to go, too.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Go for it.

 

[Nellymcboatface]

Thanks for all the 'friendly' input....

I had asked peeps in the LGBTQ+ community but they hadn't answered when I posted this...

I'm aiming to post the story for publishing early next week, so was aiming to give the story one last read thro before...

I used to hear the term gaydar in the 90s used but not so much today, so wanted to be sure...

Late last night I got a few emails and texts confirming everyone's affirmations here as one of my trans friends admitted using it only earlier this week with friends in relation to a co-worker...

Nelly

 

[Zeb_Carter]

WTF? And here I thought the preferred word for two guys was gay? Silly me.

Anyway, I have used the N-word in several of my stories. The comments I got, well they gave me a good laugh. Most accused me of being racist when at the most I might have been bigoted.

And besides, it was a conversation between to black people. Of course the reader didn't really read the story, just scanned it to see if they could complain about anything.

And besides, shouldn't the story evoke emotions and ire?

 

[Jake_Raazor]

Write whatever you want, and if it offends someone so what? "PC" is another word for censorship and anti free speech in writing.

Just as Thomas Harris isn't a cannibal serial killer an author is not a racist, sexist, or any other kind of ist or phobe if they write about characters saying or doing something offensive, especially considering 99.9% of the world is offensive to some faction of whiny snots.

If readers try to hold you to that and accuse you of being offensive, hand them a safety pin and tell them to go read something that went through sensitivity readers so it will be sufficiently watered down to snowflake level.

Someone just dialled up their sensitivity meter to 11...