A Mature Woman's View On Getting Bombed in Lit Chat!

[farhorizonblue]

Great thread...come on guys, it's not the bar, try a little bit...

Admittedly, I am a guy and don't always have the best openers but let's expand the game a little...after all, it's a virtual world here.

 

[Swgopro]

Shows how much of a newbie I am. Didn't even know there was a chat site here. Where do I find it? I think Mrs. S may enjoy it. (Oh, and in typing on my phone I corrected about ten miss spelling due to fat fingers. Full sentences all the way here.)

 

[ChattyAnnie]

Maybe I'm not so typical but when I go on a sex chat sites it is to "get off" with someone who knows how to push my buttons. I respond to many of the "bombers" to see what they want and how they respond, then drop most of them until I find someone who clicks. The chats do speed up as the action gets hotter so typos are inevitable, particularly when I go to typing with one hand.

I've tried Lit Chat a few times but I tend to avoid it because I would rather remain "anonymous" since I drop a lot of the bombers. Usually I'll either hook up with someone here through PMs (where Sharon's rules do apply) and then go to Yahoo for chat, or I will use an adult chat site where I can be anonymous.

 

[malefica]

Block and delete those who message you in a way that you don't approve of. Problem solved. I've long since grown tired of messaging 'I prefer X method for being approached for conversation'.

 

[KJack]

I’ve always looked over the forum topics with interest, but until now, never really have I been involved with it other than responding to random requests from those who have sent me “hello’s” or “how are you’s” here. I felt as if I had something to contribute I would post here, but to now, I’ve never felt I had anything of particular interest or value to say, so I haven’t so far. But recently, I’ve become aware of some changes in Literotica Chat that affect me, at least, and seem to build over time. I thought I’d talk about them, which hopefully adds to the benefit of the purpose of the Chat and for all of those who use it.

I’ve been around here for a little while, and began my chatting experience on the older version before the recent upgrade of the last year or so. To my experience, I think this Chat service is probably the most satisfying group I’ve ever been associated with. I go all the way back to the mid 1990’s where my first experience was at the then popular cyberlounge.com. Whatever exists under that URL now is most certainly not the same as the fledgling room that existed then. I guess that means I’ve been at this for quite a long time, doesn’t it! Over time, it’s just been fun to chat with others about all kinds of topics, which I won’t elaborate on here.

What I’ve noticed, as is probably common for women here, is that when I come on, a gradual build-up over time happens of people trying to connect for a chat. If I’m in chat, I’m usually in private with someone as within a minute of connect I have several PM requests. After a while I see that the top row of the window is solid red, that is, so many chat request messages sent that the tabs shorten down to one character. Sometimes this causes me to crash and when I sign in the process happens all over again. Often, when I finish a private chat, I will look through the other tabs for those I know who I have spoken with before, and find an angry message along the lines of “Why don’t you respond to my requests” or “Don’t you want to talk to me anymore” or “why is it you never talk to me anymore”? I’d have to say that 90% of the time, I can’t weed through the tabs fast or efficiently enough to sort it all out, and so I often just disconnect, and reconnect to start over from the beginning.

I’m an old school girl. I was brought up in the 1960’s and 1970’s when computers filled rooms, so I’m not necessarily as adept at flying about from window to window, so I hope you will take that into account, but I promise, I’m trying! I’m flattered that people want to connect and chat with me still despite my age and my lack of flexibility.

I hope that everyone understands at least my point of view, which is all it is, and find below my way of dealing with multiple requests for chat and sorting the whole thing out:

1. Polite, friendly and gentlemanly wins my attention every time (of course as we get to know each other the future direction of the conversation is up to us).
2. Obscene openings lose every time.
3. If you want me to respond, catch my attention with something that speaks to you as unique. Every time I’m on I get uncountable “Hi” and “Hi sexy” and “How R U”. These are most often ignored.
4. I hope those I spoke with recently understand that I try to speak with all of my chat friends and give everyone equal time where I can. Therefore, please don’t be offended if I don’t respond because I am trying to give someone else who has kindly messaged me their time first. Message me through the Forum and I promise to reply to every message I receive there.
5. Please slow down when you chat? I come from a day where punctuation and spelling matter; sorry, old school. Can you believe I actually went to penmanship classes when I was in grade school! Are you sure you still want to chat with me? I hope so, I’m really not that judgmental (I don’t think)


Thanks so much to those who have read this post and to all of the wonderful people whom I have met through this space. When I have time to myself and feel in the mood, I’ve always found this such a fun place to spend that time and relax…

S~

Great post. I believe that manners being polite and a gentlemen will never go out of style. I think that a woman worth pursuing appreciates those qualities.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I hadda re-read all my posts here and my attitude remains the same. Women talk shit on every occasion that hops down the Bunny Trail.

Guys! Be fit, drive a new car, don't buy your clothes at WALMART, get a decent job, move outta mom's basement, shower occasionally, and the girls will fuck you to death. My mom told me that. She added, YOU CAN ALWAYS GET A GIRL WHEN THERE AINT NUTHIN ON TV. I mean, look at who you see girls with! Jesus!!!

 

[loveupskirt]

Sharon, thanks for the post. Nice to see things from another perspective. I knew women got bombed on chat, but had no idea about the solid red line or crashing! Wow!

Noirtrash, you are a clueless idiot and a disgrace to men everywhere! Good luck finding chat partners or friends for that matter. YOWZA!

 

[Roleplay_Mom]

I’ve always looked over the forum topics with interest, but until now, never really have I been involved with it other than responding to random requests from those who have sent me “hello’s” or “how are you’s” here. I felt as if I had something to contribute I would post here, but to now, I’ve never felt I had anything of particular interest or value to say, so I haven’t so far. But recently, I’ve become aware of some changes in Literotica Chat that affect me, at least, and seem to build over time. I thought I’d talk about them, which hopefully adds to the benefit of the purpose of the Chat and for all of those who use it.

I’ve been around here for a little while, and began my chatting experience on the older version before the recent upgrade of the last year or so. To my experience, I think this Chat service is probably the most satisfying group I’ve ever been associated with. I go all the way back to the mid 1990’s where my first experience was at the then popular cyberlounge.com. Whatever exists under that URL now is most certainly not the same as the fledgling room that existed then. I guess that means I’ve been at this for quite a long time, doesn’t it! Over time, it’s just been fun to chat with others about all kinds of topics, which I won’t elaborate on here.

What I’ve noticed, as is probably common for women here, is that when I come on, a gradual build-up over time happens of people trying to connect for a chat. If I’m in chat, I’m usually in private with someone as within a minute of connect I have several PM requests. After a while I see that the top row of the window is solid red, that is, so many chat request messages sent that the tabs shorten down to one character. Sometimes this causes me to crash and when I sign in the process happens all over again. Often, when I finish a private chat, I will look through the other tabs for those I know who I have spoken with before, and find an angry message along the lines of “Why don’t you respond to my requests” or “Don’t you want to talk to me anymore” or “why is it you never talk to me anymore”? I’d have to say that 90% of the time, I can’t weed through the tabs fast or efficiently enough to sort it all out, and so I often just disconnect, and reconnect to start over from the beginning.

I’m an old school girl. I was brought up in the 1960’s and 1970’s when computers filled rooms, so I’m not necessarily as adept at flying about from window to window, so I hope you will take that into account, but I promise, I’m trying! I’m flattered that people want to connect and chat with me still despite my age and my lack of flexibility.

I hope that everyone understands at least my point of view, which is all it is, and find below my way of dealing with multiple requests for chat and sorting the whole thing out:

1. Polite, friendly and gentlemanly wins my attention every time (of course as we get to know each other the future direction of the conversation is up to us).
2. Obscene openings lose every time.
3. If you want me to respond, catch my attention with something that speaks to you as unique. Every time I’m on I get uncountable “Hi” and “Hi sexy” and “How R U”. These are most often ignored.
4. I hope those I spoke with recently understand that I try to speak with all of my chat friends and give everyone equal time where I can. Therefore, please don’t be offended if I don’t respond because I am trying to give someone else who has kindly messaged me their time first. Message me through the Forum and I promise to reply to every message I receive there.
5. Please slow down when you chat? I come from a day where punctuation and spelling matter; sorry, old school. Can you believe I actually went to penmanship classes when I was in grade school! Are you sure you still want to chat with me? I hope so, I’m really not that judgmental (I don’t think)


Thanks so much to those who have read this post and to all of the wonderful people whom I have met through this space. When I have time to myself and feel in the mood, I’ve always found this such a fun place to spend that time and relax…

S~

Amen to everything you said, especially rudeness and the mindless "hellos."

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

D(.)(.)

Dollie------------- Well written and even my husband agrees. I've never gone on CHAT. We seem to be too busy in the regular forums and real life.

But it's trash like the idiot noir TRASH who keeps replying that ruins everything for women on a site like this.

 

[Ingwe]

@Noirtrash- I note that your references to women you "had" are all in the past tense. Maybe says something about your attitude!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

@Noirtrash- I note that your references to women you "had" are all in the past tense. Maybe says something about your attitude!

I am an artiste and women are my clay.

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Great Post Sharon and so true . I can never get into chat

 

[lovecraft68]

Unfortunately, mature and lit men-or most chat room men-can't be used in the same sentence.

Way too many of the 'she's on a porn site she must be a slut' types around sites like this. And if you don't start fawning over them due to their overwhelming charm you go from slut to the ever classy 'cunt'

I hate that type, makes it hard for the decent guys out there, because women get discouraged when they're beset upon by cloven hooved fools.

 

[susan_s98]

Sharon is right on point

could not agree more with Sharon's thoughts- sometimes chat requests can get overwhelming and that limit fills real fast

 

[loveupskirt]

As a guy who desires to chat with women far more than men, I see your point. It's a bit of a catch 22. We need more women chatters, but they get bombarded the minute they step into a room. Add to that the men pretending to be females and the women wanting to chat with other women, and it's typically maybe a 1% ratio realistically. Not sure what the answer it other than some dudes need to quip being overbearing douchebags.

 

[jehoram]

. Add to that the men pretending to be females

...which raises a question: how many people on the forum are women who are pretending to be men?

There's a literary tradition of this. You've got the Bronte sisters, you've got D. C. Fontana. But these were women trying to break into a male-dominated literary market.

But there must be a small percentage of ladies who do it for grins.

 

[Bramblethorn]

...which raises a question: how many people on the forum are women who are pretending to be men?

There's a literary tradition of this. You've got the Bronte sisters, you've got D. C. Fontana. But these were women trying to break into a male-dominated literary market.

But there must be a small percentage of ladies who do it for grins.

...and a larger percentage who do it to avoid being pestered.

 

[jehoram]

...and a larger percentage who do it to avoid being pestered.

I hadn't thought about that. You're right.

 

[Scareltt]

The Chatrooms..

It’s been a while since I’ve had time to venture into the chatrooms. I can say my inbox gets pretty full from time to time.

I just thought it was Covid, but the PM’s seem to be more and more disrespectful. I’m just not going to read that stuff.

If you approach me the correct way we could definitely have a conversation. If that’s not your style that’s fine too. This is Lit and there are many different people who are into different things.. good luck

 

[Athalia]

...and a larger percentage who do it to avoid being pestered.

I can see that. Not a problem for me yet, though (touch wood).

 

[desperado1089]

I would just like to add my $0.02 here and state that despite my relatively young age (31 years as of last month) and the decidedly male nature of my biology and my identity, I am somewhat of an "old soul" and am of the mind that women are to be treated with respect regardless of the situation or the medium of communication, as well as having an emphasis on correct spelling and grammar. Sure, I may get excited and I have a new computer so I may have to get used to how the keyboard is before I can speed-type and still get every word right, but I never misspell a word intentionally nor do I fail to go back and correct it. Believe me, if the day ever comes when I fail to correct ANY spelling mistakes and actually hit that "submit" button, it is purely out of excitement, nothing else. Thanks for taking the time to read the ramblings of a millennial nerd, and be safe and well this upcoming holiday season and all the rest of your lives.

Oh and I would also like to add that I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as a "slut", at the very least not in the derogatory sense, because there is nothing wrong with a woman enjoying sex as much as men, if not more. The proliferation of that word, I blame on organized religion and the rampant and often hypocritical sex-negativity that is rightly associated with it. This is, of course, my opinion, and like assholes, everyone has them but not everyone necessarily wants to see it, so take that as you will so long as you keep any negative reactions to yourself.

 

[The_spirit_of_oz]

Sorry to hear that is something you have to deal with

Nice post, Sharon! I agree with everything you said.

I hope some of the men who sincerely want to chat with a woman read this and take note , but that might be a little too much to ask.

Be well, have fun!

HI,

We guys do not have that issue, however have chatted with ladies and often hear this is a msaaive problem, not sure how to make it better for you other being reasonable myself

 

[Athalia]

HI,

We guys do not have that issue, however have chatted with ladies and often hear this is a msaaive problem, not sure how to make it better for you other being reasonable myself

That would be a good start!

 

[Lady2020]

Interesting. I've never tried the chats. Doesn't sound like I would have patience for it.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I’ve been visiting chat more frequently. Every single time I’m on for even a few minutes, I get a few PMs. Most just say “hey” or “hi” and I have replied to almost every PM with something like “Thanks for the message, but I’m not looking to PM with anyone right now” and all have replied respectfully. I have gotten a few really undesirable messages that I just disregarded. Today, one person just PMd me: “Are you home alone or is your family around.” I can’t help but wonder why he thought that was the message to send to a woman he doesn’t know, has never interacted with; it’s just to assumptive (is that a word?) and he assumed wrong.