I have seen several posts similar to my situation - married, mid 50s, barely any sex with wife. Wife is good looking, even sexy when she puts a litle effort into it. It has been almost 9-10 months since we last had sex. I have reverted to online porn, alot of jerking off. I sit here and wonder - really? Is this it?
Limited to No Sex with Wife - What do you do?
- Thread starter schnitz2
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Well if i was you , i would sit down and have a conversation with her about it. If you can or does she just blow it off? But have a coffee and ask her thoughts, feelings and whats she's going through at this time. Might find out more and get things going again. Let us know.
albertaboy
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MEnopause is hard on women, my wife went through breast cancer treatments in 2018-2019.
Spent a year+ feeling terrible and that one of her sexier parts was trying to kill her. We have gotten off track, when we occasionally have sex it's good but it's pretty hard to be upset about it in my case.
I love her, we are also best friends, we will work through it.
Spent a year+ feeling terrible and that one of her sexier parts was trying to kill her. We have gotten off track, when we occasionally have sex it's good but it's pretty hard to be upset about it in my case.
I love her, we are also best friends, we will work through it.
WordsAreErotic
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I feel you. I’ve been in a similar position. She finished her treatments in 2014 and we’re still not back to where we were. As you said, we’re still working through it.
L
lucky_guy_49
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My wife is a breast cancer survivor, has been hospitalized for depression and anxiety, and takes so many meds that she has zero libido. And I need viagra for ED so spontaneity on my part is out if she were ever to get an itch. On the rare occasion when I can get her in the mood, sex is fantastic. She cums hard three or four times, screaming, her body wracked with pleasure, and afterwards it could be months before we go again.
This year she’s all wigged out about Covid and I think it’s been about three months since we’ve screwed. She’ll sometimes like yesterday suggest she’d like to later in the day, but then goes out shopping until late and comes home tired and frustrated if she didn’t find what she wanted. Oh yeah, she also reads political stuff that pisses her off a lot so her mood is rarely good. Retirement with her is not exactly what I thought it would be. Frankly her crappy moods and constant frustration turn me off so I don’t even try to initiate sex as often as I used to.
I wish I had an answer for you. What I can tell you is that often after long dry spells we’ll get back into some sort of a rhythm after awhile. Just try to keep a positive attitude and limit the porn if you can. It tends to make you dependent on it so real life sex is even harder to get excited about. Find a hobby; I do a lot of volunteer work now. Things may turn around but if they don’t you’ll have other things to put your energy into and get satisfaction from.
This year she’s all wigged out about Covid and I think it’s been about three months since we’ve screwed. She’ll sometimes like yesterday suggest she’d like to later in the day, but then goes out shopping until late and comes home tired and frustrated if she didn’t find what she wanted. Oh yeah, she also reads political stuff that pisses her off a lot so her mood is rarely good. Retirement with her is not exactly what I thought it would be. Frankly her crappy moods and constant frustration turn me off so I don’t even try to initiate sex as often as I used to.
I wish I had an answer for you. What I can tell you is that often after long dry spells we’ll get back into some sort of a rhythm after awhile. Just try to keep a positive attitude and limit the porn if you can. It tends to make you dependent on it so real life sex is even harder to get excited about. Find a hobby; I do a lot of volunteer work now. Things may turn around but if they don’t you’ll have other things to put your energy into and get satisfaction from.
What if your wife doesn't have any sexy panties?
Sounds like a familiar tale. Mine became progressively less interested. When I tried to discuss it the reply was "Its me not you" and that was it. 9 years ago I was told "I have no interest, no desire, handle it" and they was no interest by her in any discussion, explanation, or anything. I decided maybe she'd come around as I stopped any and all intimacy but to date nothing. I wish you better ....
go buy some. That in itself is a turn on.
I was chatting with a married guy on a adult site who shared how his wife froze up after menopause and all sex stopped. He is local to me and I invited him to get a BJ if he wanted a nice release. I told him I was not looking for him to do anything except lay back and enjoy. except for this virus pause I have been enjoying our blow-n-go visits for over a year now. He has progressed from just opening his fly for my mouth to now he get naked as I am also naked giving him his release. He has started to touch me more each visit but has not asked to touch my cock but I'm sure he wants too. In the beginning he would say that visiting me was so much better then jerking off to porn at home.
gk6h
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awesome...I want a visit like this
hey ...
I have been in that situation more times than I care to remember, my current situation is better now but it is still lacking--, that could be my fault but I will let history decide.
The way I dealt with it is I would 'hunt', where ever I was, where ever I would go..., I was constantly vigilant in observing a do-able opportunity.
I hear some people collect stamps. Some do yoga.
A nice sunny day, hell, I'll go to the park write poetry, smoke a joint and passively hunt. If I miss--, oh well, I'll come back here and check out the new material that people are always leaving.
I have been in that situation more times than I care to remember, my current situation is better now but it is still lacking--, that could be my fault but I will let history decide.
The way I dealt with it is I would 'hunt', where ever I was, where ever I would go..., I was constantly vigilant in observing a do-able opportunity.
I hear some people collect stamps. Some do yoga.
A nice sunny day, hell, I'll go to the park write poetry, smoke a joint and passively hunt. If I miss--, oh well, I'll come back here and check out the new material that people are always leaving.
dannyboy1958
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Sounds like my story entirely, wife survived breast cancer and the surgery and treatment that followed, that did more harm than good leaving her with a slightly deformed breast, her body confidence took a nose dive, along with our sex lives, im still up for it all the time, but she lost a lot of confidence . as if that wasnt bad - we both got covid and its ending up giving here multiple issues, allergies, infections and anxiety, im not saying depression as shes not that type, but her growing list of infections and afflictions take over everything else. Ive tied porn and im not a big one on wanking privately, feels like im betraying here whilst she has no control over whats happened to her, so bear with it my friends try cuddling or touching, hold hands in bed, stroke her ot as we did last night agree a no sex but everything else leading up to it, it was fun and she dosent feel under any pressure to have me lumping about on top of her, spilling my load into her. Im sure that over time her labido will impriove.
magicalmoments
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This. This guy deserves a medal.
I would offer this service to any guy that I knew was in the OP's position. Least you can do.
You straight guys who are put off by the idea of another guy giving you a blowjob need to get over yourselves. A blowjob is a blowjob and when compared to jerking yourself off... well... incomparable.
redheadinyourbed
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This is so depressing. I hope I never lose my desire for sex!
ParkerSteve66
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Sex is an appetite...
If you don't get fed at home, go to a restaurant.
There are many sites where professional women post their sexual "menus". Some even offer home delivery services.
Pre-pandemic, that was how I satisfied my appetite.
Now, my right bicep is getting larger than my left bicep.
If you don't get fed at home, go to a restaurant.
There are many sites where professional women post their sexual "menus". Some even offer home delivery services.
Pre-pandemic, that was how I satisfied my appetite.
Now, my right bicep is getting larger than my left bicep.
HampshireBoy
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I know that it can be difficult to raise the topic without it sounding like you are accusing her and looking for an argument but communication is key. Have you spoken to her and what is her side of the story, is she just plain not interested or is it a symptom of a deeper problem? For example she *might* feel that life is just her acting as a servant and house keeper - whether you think this is reasonable or not is not the point, this is about her view.
How do you go about approaching her? Could she feel that you are just leaping on her for your satisfaction?
My first wife went through this in her thirties, tired looking after kids and felt under-appreciated - along with her having a low sex drive.
My current wife is late fifties and post menopause, her sex drive varies now. In lockdown she has definitely felt that her world has shrunk to *just* keeping house and home and it would be easy for her to feel under-appreciated.
It happened to me a few years ago, and right now my wife has absolutely no interest in sex.
Find yourself a friend with benefits. Don't have an affair, if by an affair is meant becoming very attached so that you break up your marriage, although that is a possibility. There are many women in their 40's and 50's who aren't getting enough sex. It's just a question of finding one. Try a local internet dating site - not Tinder at our age. Don't expect it to last, although a couple of years has happened to me. Also don't worry if the woman is not drop dead gorgeous - it's whether she likes you fucking her that matters and anyway, you probably are no longer the adonis you once were. You'd better budget for a nice motel.
And you could discuss it with your wife/partner. She might be tolerant so long as you dont subject her to scorn. If not, just do it secretly.
Find yourself a friend with benefits. Don't have an affair, if by an affair is meant becoming very attached so that you break up your marriage, although that is a possibility. There are many women in their 40's and 50's who aren't getting enough sex. It's just a question of finding one. Try a local internet dating site - not Tinder at our age. Don't expect it to last, although a couple of years has happened to me. Also don't worry if the woman is not drop dead gorgeous - it's whether she likes you fucking her that matters and anyway, you probably are no longer the adonis you once were. You'd better budget for a nice motel.
And you could discuss it with your wife/partner. She might be tolerant so long as you dont subject her to scorn. If not, just do it secretly.
And,
one woman I was friendly with said that my wife was probably bored with my cock. I was still getting sex, but only once a month or so. She offered to seduce her, persuade her to let her hubby fuck her then finger fuck her herself. She was pretty confident that she could manage the seduction, especially after getting a couple of glasses of wine into my wife.
It didn't happen because i couldn't work out how to arrange a meeting.
one woman I was friendly with said that my wife was probably bored with my cock. I was still getting sex, but only once a month or so. She offered to seduce her, persuade her to let her hubby fuck her then finger fuck her herself. She was pretty confident that she could manage the seduction, especially after getting a couple of glasses of wine into my wife.
It didn't happen because i couldn't work out how to arrange a meeting.
This has been an issue in our life for 10 plus years. We have a very loving and caring relationship, but little to no sex. We are both fit, early 50s with active lives and careers. My wife acknowledges it and has tried multiple things to increase her sex drive. Yoga, acupuncture, aroma therapy, hormone therapy, counseling... She finally landed on a self diagnosis of being Asexual. She has no desire or drive. She will usually orgasm, but is really only doing it for my benefit. 95% of the time if I were to initiate sex it would not end well. Because of that the onus to have sex has fallen to her, so it only happens if she plans ahead. Plain vanilla under the covers missionary, at best once every couple of months. I know others are in worse situations so I should count my blessings, but I have a kinky side that is not even close to being satisfied.
I love her dearly and will never cheat, so that leaves me to take care of my urges by myself in secret.
Throughout my life I have gone through phases of cross dressing. Always by myself but periodically would purge everything after feeling ashamed, with a determination to stop cold turkey. Yeah that never works...
I am currently in a 5 year run of acquiring clothes and toys. It was a good arrangement - my wife would travel 4 or 5 times a year so I would have quality time to succumb to my urges. Now that Covid has slowed everything down she has no trips and I have been going through serious withdrawals.
In the interim I have been "working" late nights, embracing my cuckold feminization domination desires with a couple of mistresses on *********. Other than having to pay to satisfy my kink it has been a good outlet.
She is close to the big change so our thinking is maybe after that her desire might increase? Other than that I am anxiously awaiting to when she can travel again so I can take care of myself.
I love her dearly and will never cheat, so that leaves me to take care of my urges by myself in secret.
Throughout my life I have gone through phases of cross dressing. Always by myself but periodically would purge everything after feeling ashamed, with a determination to stop cold turkey. Yeah that never works...
I am currently in a 5 year run of acquiring clothes and toys. It was a good arrangement - my wife would travel 4 or 5 times a year so I would have quality time to succumb to my urges. Now that Covid has slowed everything down she has no trips and I have been going through serious withdrawals.
In the interim I have been "working" late nights, embracing my cuckold feminization domination desires with a couple of mistresses on *********. Other than having to pay to satisfy my kink it has been a good outlet.
She is close to the big change so our thinking is maybe after that her desire might increase? Other than that I am anxiously awaiting to when she can travel again so I can take care of myself.
magicalmoments
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If she has gone off sex 10 years before menopause it's not likely her attitude will change with, or post, menopause.
clarkjholmes
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My wife is all fucked up on meds and what not, and has no sex drive. When I do get her into bed, she can't get turned on, and is always dry, and it's almost impossible to fuck.
Our sex life is almost 90% hand jobs.
I hate my life.
(FIRST LITEROTICA POST! LOL!)
Our sex life is almost 90% hand jobs.
I hate my life.
(FIRST LITEROTICA POST! LOL!)
L
lucky_guy_49
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OpenMouth
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Hi, I thought I'd just chip in by talking about my situation which is very similar to what some of you have experienced.
For a short while after our kids came along my wife and I managed to keep up our intense physical relationship, even exploring new sources of pleasure. We bought some pretty big dildos, strap ons, lots of lingerie including some items for me.
We even had tentative conversations about playing with others.
Something seemed to go wrong about 10 years ago - I had a vasectomy, then my cock started to shrink! I know the two aren't related, it's called Peyronie's disease and causes a thickening of the erectile tissue. But I started to experience dysfunction for the first time in my life. We did continue to have sex but I was working away at the time and although we shared erotic emails (she had told me that she liked the idea of a girl in our bed!) she was - and still is - menopausal by now.
We adore each other, but sex is roughly every 4 or 5 months and follows a familiar pattern. We kiss for a while, I finger and go down on her and she has an orgasm after about 2 minutes. Then she sucks me and strokes me off.
I have dreams where I'm crying inconsolably for what we've lost. The menopause and stress with our children has killed off her desire, possibly forever. I remember the days when we would hike and she'd pull me into a barn by the trail, and strip naked for sex. This wasn't a fumble, she'd enjoy the thought of possibly being seen or spied on being shafted like an animal or wanking me off into her mouth. Her ripe young body was heavenly.
Now she's fat and careworn, but I don't love or desire her any less, it's just that despite my cock having lost 1.5 or 2" I still fantasise and need sexual excitement more than ever. My connection with glamour and femininity these days is to dress and act like the girls who excite me, and behave like them too. It's a bizarre double life where I find myself in a blonde wig, pink bra and panties, stockings and heels, in thick red lipstick and smoking a cigarette (I've never smoked in my life!), driving to have sex with a man or men, although I'm not attracted to men at all.
And I get a strange pleasure from it, subconsciously thinking I can't satisfy my wife, but I can make my hands, mouth and anus available for men. I like the fact I get fucked like a woman.
For a short while after our kids came along my wife and I managed to keep up our intense physical relationship, even exploring new sources of pleasure. We bought some pretty big dildos, strap ons, lots of lingerie including some items for me.
We even had tentative conversations about playing with others.
Something seemed to go wrong about 10 years ago - I had a vasectomy, then my cock started to shrink! I know the two aren't related, it's called Peyronie's disease and causes a thickening of the erectile tissue. But I started to experience dysfunction for the first time in my life. We did continue to have sex but I was working away at the time and although we shared erotic emails (she had told me that she liked the idea of a girl in our bed!) she was - and still is - menopausal by now.
We adore each other, but sex is roughly every 4 or 5 months and follows a familiar pattern. We kiss for a while, I finger and go down on her and she has an orgasm after about 2 minutes. Then she sucks me and strokes me off.
I have dreams where I'm crying inconsolably for what we've lost. The menopause and stress with our children has killed off her desire, possibly forever. I remember the days when we would hike and she'd pull me into a barn by the trail, and strip naked for sex. This wasn't a fumble, she'd enjoy the thought of possibly being seen or spied on being shafted like an animal or wanking me off into her mouth. Her ripe young body was heavenly.
Now she's fat and careworn, but I don't love or desire her any less, it's just that despite my cock having lost 1.5 or 2" I still fantasise and need sexual excitement more than ever. My connection with glamour and femininity these days is to dress and act like the girls who excite me, and behave like them too. It's a bizarre double life where I find myself in a blonde wig, pink bra and panties, stockings and heels, in thick red lipstick and smoking a cigarette (I've never smoked in my life!), driving to have sex with a man or men, although I'm not attracted to men at all.
And I get a strange pleasure from it, subconsciously thinking I can't satisfy my wife, but I can make my hands, mouth and anus available for men. I like the fact I get fucked like a woman.
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