Why are we bottoms?

[Escierto]

Background: I am a cis het man who exclusively fucked women for almost my entire life. This included a couple of marriages and four children. About ten years ago I discovered transgender women and the first time I saw a woman with a cock I knew what I wanted. It took me a decade to accept my desire to suck cock and be fucked by such a woman. The reality exceeded all my hopes and wishes.

Now I accept my desire to be brutally fucked in the ass by a woman with a large cock until she deposits a load of cum deep in my ass. This is easily the most satisfying sexual experience of my life but I always wonder why I am a bottom.

My question for those men who bottom (either for trans girls or top guys) is why? Why do we love it so much? What in our psyche or personality that makes us want to bottom? Any theories or ideas?

 

[Blueser916]

I'm also a cis man who came to his bi side later in life. I can't speak for others, but I'll share some thoughts and experience. It's interesting that "bottom" is used both as a verb and as a persona. For some it's a sexual act to enjoy. For others it's an all-encompassing role or role-play. I'm in the first group. Once I realized I was bi and allowed myself to explore, I found that I really really liked being fucked. Feels so good, so different from anything in the hetero male sex catalogue. It jangles my pleasure spots, it stimulates my mind, it feels nasty in a good way ... Yes, please!

 

[t1m1d1]

I don’t really have the answer, and I still adore pretty women, but I love them to be the boss in the bedroom. In life my role tends to be more dominant , but the opposite is true in the bedroom. Submitting to and worshipping a cock is The ultimate pleasure for me, both mentally and physically. I don’t overthink it, I just accept I’m bi, submissive and just prefer bottoming for a guy or a ts.

 

[Marty Fisher]

Background: I am a cis het man who exclusively fucked women for almost my entire life. This included a couple of marriages and four children. About ten years ago I discovered transgender women and the first time I saw a woman with a cock I knew what I wanted. It took me a decade to accept my desire to suck cock and be fucked by such a woman. The reality exceeded all my hopes and wishes.

Now I accept my desire to be brutally fucked in the ass by a woman with a large cock until she deposits a load of cum deep in my ass. This is easily the most satisfying sexual experience of my life but I always wonder why I am a bottom.

My question for those men who bottom (either for trans girls or top guys) is why? Why do we love it so much? What in our psyche or personality that makes us want to bottom? Any theories or ideas?

I suspect it has something to do with "balance" and/or perhaps suppressed desire. A lot of us have this desire early on but suppress it out of fear, guilt, shame, peer pressure, or societal "norms" then it finally gets to be too much or we strip away those fears, guilt, etc and say "fuck it, I'm interested and want to explore!". Still others might be (un)consciously looking for a balance in life. For example, I'm the go-to guy in control day in and day out in both my work and my home life. You got a problem, you come to me - I'M DA MAN! Well, for some, that gets pretty fucking old after a while but that doesn't stop people from counting on you. Playing the exact opposite of the role behind closed doors, is a way of balancing out our needs and desires. That's what I think....

 

[Escierto]

These are some very interesting responses.

I am not submissive in the least in regular life but in the bedroom I do like to be submissive. Taking a cock up the ass is the ultimate in submission. Seeing my partner’s cock puts me in a trance like I am under it’s spell and all I can do is worship it. I just want to admire it and suck it and then feel it stretch my hole until nothing else exists except her cock in my ass.

 

[Married_and_BiCurious]

Bottoming

I’ve had sexual fantasies about men my entire life. As early as middle school. I never once thought about topping another man. Once I understood that a man could get fucked up the ass I was intrigued. And as I thought about it more I thought about it often. It was very appealing. In high school I started thinking about sucking cock and started tasting my own precum. I found that it really got me excited and helped me achieve an incredible orgasm. I never had the courage to actually do it, something I now regret. As I got older I started reading gay erotic stories and found them very arousing, especially the ones told from the perspective of bottoms being fucked and sucking cock. It’s still a fantasy of mine to bottom for a hot top.

 

[Escierto]

I’ve had sexual fantasies about men my entire life. As early as middle school. I never once thought about topping another man. Once I understood that a man could get fucked up the ass I was intrigued. And as I thought about it more I thought about it often. It was very appealing. In high school I started thinking about sucking cock and started tasting my own precum. I found that it really got me excited and helped me achieve an incredible orgasm. I never had the courage to actually do it, something I now regret. As I got older I started reading gay erotic stories and found them very arousing, especially the ones told from the perspective of bottoms being fucked and sucking cock. It’s still a fantasy of mine to bottom for a hot top.

Why hasn’t your fantasy happened?

 

[TallOne]

Because if you can get past the stigma it feels really really good?

 

[txfuncouple]

Because if you can get past the stigma it feels really really good?

Have to agree. As a member of the straight guys attracted to cock club, it’s a natural progression. And since it’s all about the pleasure and not anything else, why not?

 

[MoleskineScribbler]

There seems to be two things we're talking about here - receiving anal sex and being submissive. I totally agree with the I have to be dominant during the day - have had too my whole life - but don't want to be sexually and would rather be submissive. That doesn't mean I want to be fucked necessarily and we shouldn't confuse receiving anal with being submissive. That being said, the same instinct that causes me to want to be submissive might make me want to receive a man's cock in my ass - "the ultimate in submission" as Escrierto says. But for me that's a man's cock, not a tranny's. Just my opinion.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I’m a hetero married male, pegging is common occurrence in our relationship. I agree with mole That anal sex and submission are not always together. I’d say the first 6 months it was mostly about submission, but now not as much. Being able to have a prostate orgasm is a great feeling.

 

[SissySalina]

Background: I am a cis het man who exclusively fucked women for almost my entire life. This included a couple of marriages and four children. About ten years ago I discovered transgender women and the first time I saw a woman with a cock I knew what I wanted. It took me a decade to accept my desire to suck cock and be fucked by such a woman. The reality exceeded all my hopes and wishes.

Now I accept my desire to be brutally fucked in the ass by a woman with a large cock until she deposits a load of cum deep in my ass. This is easily the most satisfying sexual experience of my life but I always wonder why I am a bottom.

My question for those men who bottom (either for trans girls or top guys) is why? Why do we love it so much? What in our psyche or personality that makes us want to bottom? Any theories or ideas?

This is a sissy opinion.
It started with a lov for Her and what She wanted, She wanted sissy to be a sissy and being fucked is a big part of being sissy and not a cross dresser.
After the first time, which was actually by a female friend of Hers, it was a strange feeling inside that sissy could not figure out. After the third time it was the sensation of emptying without touching that ting thing, should say that also the night of the first time sissy was placed into chastity.
When it came for the first man sissy was use to being pegged by women, the very first time a man came in sissy was the biggest explosion this sissy had ever had and it was totally that feeling of being emptied and filled at the same time.

 

[Marty Fisher]

Background: I am a cis het man who exclusively fucked women for almost my entire life. This included a couple of marriages and four children. About ten years ago I discovered transgender women and the first time I saw a woman with a cock I knew what I wanted. It took me a decade to accept my desire to suck cock and be fucked by such a woman. The reality exceeded all my hopes and wishes.

Now I accept my desire to be brutally fucked in the ass by a woman with a large cock until she deposits a load of cum deep in my ass. This is easily the most satisfying sexual experience of my life but I always wonder why I am a bottom.

My question for those men who bottom (either for trans girls or top guys) is why? Why do we love it so much? What in our psyche or personality that makes us want to bottom? Any theories or ideas?

I suspect it has something to do with "balance" and/or perhaps suppressed desire. A lot of us have this desire early on but suppress it out of fear, guilt, shame, peer pressure, or societal "norms" then it finally gets to be too much or we strip away those fears, guilt, etc and say "fuck it, I'm interested and want to explore!". Still others might be (un)consciously looking for a balance in life. For example, I'm the go-to guy in control day in and day out in both my work and my home life. You got a problem, you come to me - I'M DA MAN! Well, for some, that gets pretty fucking old after a while but that doesn't stop people from counting on you. Playing the exact opposite of the role behind closed doors, is a way of balancing out our needs and desires. That's what I think....

 

[TheChemist]

I don’t really have the answer, and I still adore pretty women, but I love them to be the boss in the bedroom. In life my role tends to be more dominant , but the opposite is true in the bedroom. Submitting to and worshipping a cock is The ultimate pleasure for me, both mentally and physically. I don’t overthink it, I just accept I’m bi, submissive and just prefer bottoming for a guy or a ts.

You've stated exactly how I feel. It seems I'm always the one who initiates things with my wife. When I decided to explore my bi side, I realized I wanted the opposite.

 

[Marty Fisher]

Background: I am a cis het man who exclusively fucked women for almost my entire life. This included a couple of marriages and four children. About ten years ago I discovered transgender women and the first time I saw a woman with a cock I knew what I wanted. It took me a decade to accept my desire to suck cock and be fucked by such a woman. The reality exceeded all my hopes and wishes.

Now I accept my desire to be brutally fucked in the ass by a woman with a large cock until she deposits a load of cum deep in my ass. This is easily the most satisfying sexual experience of my life but I always wonder why I am a bottom.

My question for those men who bottom (either for trans girls or top guys) is why? Why do we love it so much? What in our psyche or personality that makes us want to bottom? Any theories or ideas?

I suspect it has something to do with "balance" and/or perhaps suppressed desire. A lot of us have this desire early on but suppress it out of fear, guilt, shame, peer pressure, or societal "norms" then it finally gets to be too much or we strip away those fears, guilt, etc and say "fuck it, I'm interested and want to explore!". Still others might be (un)consciously looking for a balance in life. For example, I'm the go-to guy in control day in and day out in both my work and my home life. You got a problem, you come to me - I'M DA MAN! Well, for some, that gets pretty fucking old after a while but that doesn't stop people from counting on you. Playing the exact opposite of the role behind closed doors, is a way of balancing out our needs and desires. That's what I think....

 

[SaraSera]

i bottom for the same reasons it top.....because I like it. Also, as several have already pointed out, there is a subtle submissive component that allows me to achieve sexual fulfillment passively.

 

[nassauguy_2001]

i bottom for the same reasons it top.....because I like it. Also, as several have already pointed out, there is a subtle submissive component that allows me to achieve sexual fulfillment passively.

At first I bottomed because I have a little cock and have ED and the side effects from the blue pills were awful for me.

Then one day I was cleaning up before a date and I realized that I would not want it any other way! I love being a bottom. Giving myself to my lover in any and every way. Yes there is a bit of submission involved, but I am a very "take charge" kind of guy.

Just my opinion.

 

[ShagTimes]

I'm also a cis man

You don't have to put labels on yourself. You're a man.

 

[Hitchiker69]

I'm versatile, a bottom any time I can get it, just because I love the feel of having a hard cock deep in my ass. Plus the way it excites him, bringing out the most and best of his masculinity for me to enjoy

I also enjoy being a top, and I feel any gay experience without anal is incomplete.

I don't feel submissive or feminine when I have sex with a man, even though I may let him take the lead.

It seems to me we're 2 virile, masculine men savoring and celebrating each other's manhood.

We can bring out the best and the most of each other's manhood. When I suck him I'm worshipping his
cock. When I fuck him I'm enjoying whats different from a woman's ass. His is hard, small tight and hairy.

When he fucks me I love feeling his strength as he plows me hard, fast and vigorously.

 

[nassauguy_2001]

I'm also a cis man who came to his bi side later in life. I can't speak for others, but I'll share some thoughts and experience. It's interesting that "bottom" is used both as a verb and as a persona. For some it's a sexual act to enjoy. For others it's an all-encompassing role or role-play. I'm in the first group. Once I realized I was bi and allowed myself to explore, I found that I really really liked being fucked. Feels so good, so different from anything in the hetero male sex catalogue. It jangles my pleasure spots, it stimulates my mind, it feels nasty in a good way ... Yes, please!

Sorry to be ignorant, but what is a "cis man"?

 

[Escierto]

Sorry to be ignorant, but what is a "cis man"?

Cis is short for cisgender meaning that you identify as the same gender which you were assigned at birth. The opposite of trans or transgender where a person identifies as the opposite gender of the one they were assigned at birth.

 

[nassauguy_2001]

Cis is short for cisgender meaning that you identify as the same gender which you were assigned at birth. The opposite of trans or transgender where a person identifies as the opposite gender of the one they were assigned at birth.

Thank you! I learn something new every day!
Stay safe!

 

[anniebaby10]

I cannot reply as a male but as a female, I love the feeling of giving my pussy and ass and mouth to someone I care about. Taking their cock in any of those places to provide pleasure and be so vulnerable is an act that is beyond sex. Giving up your asshole to a cock is the ultimate I think as it can hurt if your lover does not think about your fragility during this act. So to me, it is the ultimate gift to your lover. So some people by their personality are "givers" and so perhaps that is why they like to be a "bottom". Just a woman's perspective.

 

[Escierto]

I cannot reply as a male but as a female, I love the feeling of giving my pussy and ass and mouth to someone I care about. Taking their cock in any of those places to provide pleasure and be so vulnerable is an act that is beyond sex. Giving up your asshole to a cock is the ultimate I think as it can hurt if your lover does not think about your fragility during this act. So to me, it is the ultimate gift to your lover. So some people by their personality are "givers" and so perhaps that is why they like to be a "bottom". Just a woman's perspective.

I agree with you that allowing someone to penetrate your body is a giving act. Being a bottom made me shift perspectives and realize something of how a woman must feel with her man. It made me regret some of my actions when I had been the “top” with my female lovers.

 

[klippert]

don't complicate...all the pronouns to make yourself 'happy'...think of it this way, think of yourselves as a Truck Stop, that offers Studs or Alphas (since we're playing the definition game) an oil changes....Studs roll in...change there oil in your mouth or ass...then leave.
Then you can go back to your definition