❓ PLP Inquires❓

[BadAmy]

I like that! Especially that last question, I've been working on that for a while.

I try to think about these, too:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it helpful?

Can we add...
Does it feel really really really really good to say it?
Then YES!!!
Hehe
JK.

 

[BadAmy]

Does the person to whom I’m responding need attention?

If they do, I usually don’t respond.

But..
But..
But.....Fara????

https://media2.giphy.com/media/81Ja1qE3lfmG4/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b9521389556e8b1a8efaee630c04284580bdb0279adc&rid=giphy.gif

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Does the person to whom I’m responding need attention?

If they do, I usually don’t respond.

Yes. It reminds me of feeding stray dogs. You start with good intentions... and now you own a mutt.

 

[BadAmy]

Oh. You? I love you. I’m talking about Lit at large.

Still..I am a bit of a whore.
We allllllllll know that.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/3oz8xK65i9z2iYTiRq/giphy.gif?cid=82a1493bb5120f3e2cac09d5ec63a6feafe277d017c5049b&rid=giphy.gif

 

[BadAmy]

Yes. It reminds me of feeding stray dogs. You start with good intentions... and now you own a mutt.

Lmao!

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

Well, Code of Conduct sounds a little strict, I have more a list of odd guidelines I try to follow, and might make exemptions if it feels warranted. Some are just general life guidelines, and some have evolved with experience here, it is likely obvious which are which.

Of course, the golden rule to treat others how I want to be treated. Also though, focus my time with those who will treat me how I want to treat others. I know most everyone is a huge fan of nice. To me, nice generally means pleasing, agreeable, aversion to confrontation, disinclination to standing out, abstaining from disagreements, reserved, polite. Nice is well, nice, but hard work and often boring. I prefer decent and kind enough, fairly blunt, a bit insensitive, with a decent serving of smart ass on the side. Otherwise, even if I try, the odds are high I will hurt someones feelings while being annoyed that it seems so hard to not.

Check post history to see if someone is too creepy before diving in. Avoid people with low post history. They usually end up being too creepy.

Don't post in fetish or bdsm, even if it seems an innocent topic. The sections are fine but it is like they are beacons for the weird dudes with the low post history who are indeed too creepy too post to send messages with all their creepiness poured in. Damn it, just because I stated my preferred dessert does not mean I have any inclination towards wearing ball gag, while sitting at your feet, coated in ranch dressing, calling you your preferred title, while you cum in my hair. I just like chocolate cake.

Make no assumptions. If I am unsure how to interpret something, ask.

Ignore the drama, don't take it seriously, but be somewhat aware. The drama is usually frustratingly hard to follow, so why try to follow it, because apparently I need to be spoon fed my drama. It would be a little odd to be active long term having remained completely drama free, and I prefer to form my own opinion, so the drama is not remotely relevant anyway. However, avoid those who are involved in drama all the time, as I will find it draining.

avoid expectations... both setting them and having them placed upon me. Make sure I am stating my boundaries clearly.

Don't play with the men in or recently in a serious relationship here. It is a good general rule in life too, relating to chicks in the same social circle. It isn't worth the drama. The exception being she initiated, or we are friendly enough for me to ask her if she'd mind, and know if the answer is no, she isn't going to get her panties in a bunch, but just simply say no.

Don't play with the men looking for a serious relationship here or making references to finding the one. I am not the one. They come with issues with expectations and accepting my boundaries.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I might have a girl crush on Justa. She's so wise.

 

[Mei5ter]

I might have a girl crush on Justa. She's so wise.

Plus, she mentioned ranch dressing.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Plus, she mentioned ranch dressing.

Exhibit A

 

[AveryElle]

Plus, she mentioned ranch dressing.

Oh man I wish I knew you well enough to send you this ranch dressing clip where a woman drinks it from the bottle in a Walmart parking lot. Damnit! Well, picture it.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Oh man I wish I knew you well enough to send you this ranch dressing clip where a woman drinks it from the bottle in a Walmart parking lot. Damnit! Well, picture it.

Jesus... I probably know this woman...

 

[beachbaby179]

I really like this question.

1. Be yourself. It's anonymous - what do you have to lose?
2. Avoid drama - walk away until it's over. We're all adults - and can take care of ourselves. (if you can't you're probably too thin skinned and maybe this isn't the place for you)
3. You don't have to answer every PM that you receive - especially if they're graphic from strangers.
4. Flirting is harmless. If it goes any further than flirting, have an understanding.
5. Lit is not a dating site. The majority of people here are married - it's not going to end in happily ever after. This one's tough to remember sometimes.
6. Do not make your lit-lationships public knowledge. Because ... see #5.

And finally...
https://media1.tenor.com/images/d4c93f64f8164c19a722bf00968e763d/tenor.gif?itemid=6055770

 

[AveryElle]

Jesus... I probably know this woman...

I didn’t want to assume the geographic location!

 

[AveryElle]

I really like this question.

1. Be yourself. It's anonymous - what do you have to lose?
2. Avoid drama - walk away until it's over. We're all adults - and can take care of ourselves. (if you can't you're probably too thin skinned and maybe this isn't the place for you)
3. You don't have to answer every PM that you receive - especially if they're graphic from strangers.
4. Flirting is harmless. If it goes any further than flirting, have an understanding.
5. Lit is not a dating site. The majority of people here are married - it's not going to end in happily ever after. This one's tough to remember sometimes.
6. Do not make your lit-lationships public knowledge. Because ... see #5.

I understand 5 but I met my spouse in here <cough cough> Years ago so it IS possible for pervy people to find each other on near and live happily ever after!

 

[beachbaby179]

I understand 5 but I met my spouse in here <cough cough> Years ago so it IS possible for pervy people to find each other on near and live happily ever after!

I get it. But you're the lucky exception - I can count on one hand the number of situations like yours. Still - thank you for prompting me to clarify.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

Mine are pretty simple. Try not to be a dick. Respect peoples' boundaries. Get to know people through the boards before engaging in PM's. And since I am one of the married ones (whose wife knows I'm here), I never send nor ask for explicit pics. But since most of my pics and exchanges are of the silly PG-13 variety (if that), it's rarely an issue.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Yes. It reminds me of feeding stray dogs. You start with good intentions... and now you own a mutt.

BT

...I prefer decent and kind enough, fairly blunt, a bit insensitive, with a decent serving of smart ass on the side...

Ha! I am naturally very sensitive and I tend to prefer diplomacy over brusqueness, but I have come to appreciate people who shoot straight from the hip and don't sugar coat things.

[*]You don't have to answer every PM that you receive - especially if they're graphic from strangers.

It took me way too long to stop feeling obligated to answer every damn message that showed up in my box, but it made my life a hell of a lot easier when I finally did.

-Only give as much as I get. (Another one that's hard)
-Don't talk to people in private who won't acknowledge me in public.

Yes. That second one is especially painful.

Wide berth.
It’s not worth it.

Seriously.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

First, a compliment on a statement beautifully thought out and articulated. Not that it matters to the point of the present discussion, but for me, these are the kinds of thoughts, words and presentation that will quickly open a torrent of traffic between the big head and the small one.

JDWM expressed quite accurately my own thoughts and feelings about the matter, and especially, in short, that I find standard "dirty talk" mostly a distraction, since I too am a total sensualist. That is to say that, like her, my most joyous and satisfying sex is that in which my senses are all working at peak perceptive power, and often, words would only interrupt the flow pouring in from sight, touch, taste and smell, and hearing is most attuned to the subtle or sometimes loud sounds coming from my lover.

Background music can also add much to the moment, depending on the mood and circumstance, but then - and again, this is for me - I don't want to be potentially distracted by the lyrics of a song. For me it's mostly about melody, chording, beat (and you have to be careful there, because beat can be both a huge driver or a major distraction) that winds and blends itself into our mutual mood and movement, but without asserting itself between us.

A large and delicious exception is when my lovers are spontaneously moved to purred or screamed descriptions of what they're feeling at the moment, and the more graphic and descriptive the better. Now that's not only hot, hot, hot, it's so very useful to both of us as well.

As with the poster, I'm just not into something that sounds cheesy or contrived (a total turn-off) and have never understood the attraction some feel or require from role playing. I've always felt it must derive from something missing from the basic natural attraction to, or desire for, your lover. If my senses haven't brought me to critical mass, then I probably should be somewhere else, with someone else.

The rest of JDWM's thoughts, though still beautifully articualted, were largely on her perspective as a woman and an individual, and I found them interesting and informative as well, but of course can't begin to address them on any personal level.

Again, I thank her and the others who posted thoughtful, interesting and therefore useful comments here, and of course PLP who posed the initial question. You are all the reasons I return to this site and enjoy it so very much.

“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” ~ Woody Allen

thank you. I agree on the music. I used to have it playing constantly. Though usually not romantic music. More tempo, hard bass, and whatever it is that creates that frisson. I can't explain it, but I know it when I hear it.

Now, I will say cheesy can be fun. Naughty teacher, naughtier school girl. Hot wife, delivery guy. french maid, master of the house. The issue just becomes whether it is erotic or hilarious. I am good at multitasking.

As for gender interfering with relating, no worries, I am not relatable to much of my own gender either.

And yes, I very much like plps questions.

This makes a lot of sense. I'm not any good at it, but being a male I feel as though we are not held to the same standard. Internet porn has put women at a horrible disadvantage...the ease of access warps young, impressionable minds as to what men think a woman should act like when that fantasy is not reality at all. I can say that personally encouragement is nice here and there...dirty talk can be fun foreplay...but yeah, like you said, trying to get into talk while feeling the physical and emotional pleasure can take you out of it. I get your brutal honesty, but there's a line between being honest and just being nice to a person you're supposed to like enough to want to be intimate with.

Well luckily, I don't think men actually hold that standard. I have a complete lack of pick up game, and surprisingly, I haven't found it all that limiting. For example, there are a lot of men who are totally ok a statement like "you have been kind of a dick today so I am going to see if I can improve your mood with a blow job so I don't have to keep putting up with your cranky ass. Would you mind if I leave the Food Network on in the background, I want to see what they end up doing with that basket? Then I'll get laid later, RIGHT". It may not be sexy, but they find it funny how inappropriate but true it is, accept it as a statement of intent, a sexual offer, and a negotiation, exactly as I mean. When my husband was asked what he was looking for in a future spouse he would always reply "a beautiful woman who would call me an asshole when I am being an asshole" I do not understand how this was a hard find for him as while he is a decent man, he can also be a complete asshole, often. So yeah, he was ok with a chick who tells him he is being an asshole, while offering a blow job, then negotiates getting screwed bent over the hood of that truck in the parking lot while giving that blow job. There are a lot of men who are happy to laugh with you at an awful strip tease that includes falling on your ass. The name of my game is probably best described as porn fail, and yet, it really wan't a problem.

I am just glad I lean straight. If I had to pick up chicks, I would be 100% screwed, and not in a good way.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I might have a girl crush on Justa. She's so wise.

aw thanks. You are actually one of my favorite chicks around here too. but fair warning, if you find yourself relating to what I say, your slinky may be pretty damn twisted too.

Plus, she mentioned ranch dressing.

haha. It actually isn't even the ranch dressing that is objectionable, hell, that is least objectionable part of the scenario. Ranch is yummy. Now, I would not recommend someone hand me a ball gag unless they were implying they wanted a ball gag up their ass.

BT



Ha! I am naturally very sensitive and I tend to prefer diplomacy over brusqueness, but I have come to appreciate people who shoot straight from the hip and don't sugar coat things.

I think it can work, but it takes adjustment on both sides, which I often find many are unwilling to make. It also takes time to get to know the person. And in my opinion, some people do struggle with hearing something basic, and stretching it so much further outside of the initial implication and really need to reign that shit in. It takes one side trying to not be as blunt, and the other side accepting what was meant were the words said about that specific moment, nothing more.

Like, sensitive people, to me, are like this. ok, you bring a beet dish to a pot luck. You ask what I think, and I say I am really not a fan. Me not liking your beet side dish is not me saying you are a bad cook, and will make an awful wife, and then make an awful mother. It is me saying I am really not that into beets. I do not understand exactly why you get pissed that I am not into beets, even worse, you don't tell me that you are pissed because I called you an awful mother because I am not into beets, and I see days later you are obviously very pissed off, and I have no idea why. If I ask, you say nothing and fine. Damn it, you can't just ask what I didn't like about your dish, if I was implying you were a bad cook. Me not liking beets was a non event in my world, yet 5 years later, there is still a grudge I do not understand.

I can only work with sensitive people if they call out what triggered them, which many are too sensitive to do, and actually believe the answer.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

06.30.20

Username Appreciation

What makes a good Lit username? Do you like yours? What do you wish you'd done differently?
Whose username do you like, find clever, or find intriguing?

 

[shybutobscene]

I like a clever username. Something that is funny or is very similar to a work but with a few letters changed or an addition to the beginning or end to give make it more in the spirit of Lit. I don’t think anyone likes their own username and they think the other names they see here are just fine though. I hated the first one I created that was never going to be used for anything except reading stories and being able to see the photos. That didn’t last long and eventually I created this one. The first part is probably more representative of me than the second part. PLP is a username that I find intriguing, but probably not for the reason you think. I’ve always wondered with that name if that invites a lot of unwanted thirsty DMs? More so even that what most women here probably receive. One of the names that I think is pretty good is Sassyshedevil.

 

[AveryElle]

Oooooo good question!

Mine was ‘what has nothing to do with my real name or my previous screen name from 20 years ago.

Some are clever, some are for attention (lots of PMs, for example), some make me do a double take because I see something else that what’s there (tallladiesman makes me see talisman every time!). A good username can be clever or it can show a slice of who you are. I think if profiles worked, it would make some usernames make more sense.

 

[BadAmy]

I like mine.
I think it's me in a nutshell.

I always liked analcreampiegiver. Very specific.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I PLP is a username that I find intriguing, but probably not for the reason you think. I’ve always wondered with that name if that invites a lot of unwanted thirsty DMs?

Yeah, it was the epitome of naive. A username made up long before I knew what these forums were and was probably a little thirsty for the wrong kind of attention. Then, figured it out liked PLP and couldn't imagine changing it again.
Then my original acct got deleted by the mods after complaining about a creeper (go figure) just added my favorite number to the end so I could still be recognizable.

It's still embarrassing but a good reminder of how far I've come. Also accurate

 

[shybutobscene]

It's still embarrassing but a good reminder of how far I've come. Also accurate

Tease!