What not to ask an erotica writer

[SluttyMommy77]

I've been writing erotica for a few years now and have been writing incest erotica on Lit for the past year or so. What strikes me is the sheer amount of men (yes, it's always men) who seem to think that my stories are real-life accounts of my own experiences. I realise that it's nice to fantasise that the stories which arouse us have a basis in reality, but please resist the urge to send me private messages asking me whether I've had sex with my kids. It's gross and inappropriate.

It's not just on here. I've been getting messages on my other writing outside of Lit as well, asking who I like to have an orgy with or who I like to be gangbanged by. I'm interested in neither orgy nor gangbang, although I love writing about them. My writing is not autobiographical.

So please, stop asking erotica writers about their sex lives. Especially if you've had no other interaction with that writer that gives you an indication that they want to talk about their sexual preferences with you. You wouldn't ask a crime writer about their favourite way to kill their neighbours/loved ones/friends either, so maybe offer an erotica writer the same respect. I love receiving messages telling me how much my story turned a reader on, but I'm sick of being asked whether my incest stories have a basis in reality.

Sorry for the rant. I love interacting with my readers, but I'm getting really sick of inappropriate messages.

Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me?

 

[lovecraft68]

As someone who has a few pen names. I can identify. The male names do get some women commenting with wish I was your sister/mother/daughter...but not many and they're generally not as crude.

But my female pen name deals with exactly what you said.

So I can understand the rant, but I doubt anyone in this forum would be the type to do that, so if you're looking for commiseration you'll get that, but if you're asking readers to stop, you'd be better off in the feedback forum

Where you'll be ignored. In fact as others will most likely point out, this may backfire and people will do it to piss you off.

Best thing you can do is the same with crappy story comments, just ignore them.

As an aside if you go into the fetish forum and look at the incest is best thread or any similar thread where smoke blowers spend all day making up incestuous experiences, you'll realize most of what we get through feedback isn't all that bad

 

[SluttyMommy77]

So I can understand the rant, but I doubt anyone in this forum would be the type to do that, so if you're looking for commiseration you'll get that, but if you're asking readers to stop, you'd be better off in the feedback forum

Where you'll be ignored. In fact as others will most likely point out, this may backfire and people will do it to piss you off.

Best thing you can do is the same with crappy story comments, just ignore them.

I guess you're right. I've closed my private messages a couple of times as I just couldn't deal with the comments, but I do like the nice feedback I get. I just wondered if it was a feature of Literotica, which it seems it is, so I'll just have to deal with it I guess.

And yeah, the stuff I get on my incest erotica is downright creepy.

 

[Handley_Page]

I've been writing erotica for a few years now and have been writing incest erotica on Lit for the past year or so. What strikes me is the sheer amount of men (yes, it's always men) who seem to think that my stories are real-life accounts of my own experiences. I realise that it's nice to fantasise that the stories which arouse us have a basis in reality, but please resist the urge to send me private messages asking me whether I've had sex with my kids. It's gross and inappropriate.


Sorry for the rant. I love interacting with my readers, but I'm getting really sick of inappropriate messages.

Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me?

Perhaps if you'd put a suitable Note at the top of your story ?

 

[lovecraft68]

Perhaps if you'd put a suitable Note at the top of your story ?

Won't work

I have a lot of women friends on Twitter and even with "Married, not here for porn, no DM's etc...still get nothing but dick pics, and messages about "what I'll do to you" its just the way of the net. Pervs gonna perv and with no repercussions.

Hell my wife plays words with friends(pretty much a scrabble game) and she gets guys sending her messages hitting on her...in a damn word game.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Perhaps if you'd put a suitable Note at the top of your story ?

Or in their Author's Profile.

I really don't think the OP is going to get many readers wander by here to pay much attention to their request - this being the Authors' Hangout where most of the participants are writers more so than the "typical" reader.

I am somewhat surprised, though, when folk with fairly unsubtle account names wonder why they get the attention they do. You advertise the movie, you get the folk who go see that type of movie, and you can kinda guess your audience. Call yourself thebishopswife and I imagine you're going to get a different demographic. Just an observation, mind .

 

[SluttyMommy77]

Or in their Author's Profile.

I really don't think the OP is going to get many readers wander by here to pay much attention to their request - this being the Authors' Hangout where most of the participants are writers more so than the "typical" reader.

I am somewhat surprised, though, when folk with fairly unsubtle account names wonder why they get the attention they do. You advertise the movie, you get the folk who go see that type of movie, and you can kinda guess your audience. Call yourself thebishopswife and I imagine you're going to get a different demographic. Just an observation, mind .

I guess I posted this in the wrong forum, fair enough.

I still think it's common decency not to slide into someones DM with graphic descriptions of sexual acts no matter what their username is. And to be clear: I write erotica under a super boring name elsewhere with clear indications that I'm a married, monogamous woman and I get the same creepy DMs, so it's the creepy men, not my username. But thanks for the victim-blaming.

 

[lovecraft68]

I guess I posted this in the wrong forum, fair enough.

I still think it's common decency not to slide into someones DM with graphic descriptions of sexual acts no matter what their username is. And to be clear: I write erotica under a super boring name elsewhere with clear indications that I'm a married, monogamous woman and I get the same creepy DMs, so it's the creepy men, not my username. But thanks for the victim-blaming.

I'll add the usual double standard that a guy with a provocative name doesn't deal with much of this, the irony being they probably wouldn't mind as much.

In all aspects, men are generally much more forward and pervy on the net, especially the married ones because you know, according to them they all married boring women so its a harmless outlet where they can't get caught unless they're really stupid.

But in the end, this is the hazard of putting yourself out there. My female pen names has gotten so many dick picks I could start a gallery.

And once, just once, I want to reply "Mine's bigger" and prove it.

 

[SluttyMommy77]

And once, just once, I want to reply "Mine's bigger" and prove it.

That would be hilarious!

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I think every new writer or person on the site gets probed at first. I responded to nice ones, saying no thanks and never heard from them again. The creeps I merely blocked. It died off fairly quickly.

 

[KeithD]

I am somewhat surprised, though, when folk with fairly unsubtle account names wonder why they get the attention they do. You advertise the movie, you get the folk who go see that type of movie, and you can kinda guess your audience. Call yourself thebishopswife and I imagine you're going to get a different demographic. Just an observation, mind .

Bingo. Sorry, but I have to laugh at an account name "SluttyMommy" complaining about receiving mash notes.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I've been writing erotica for a few years now and have been writing incest erotica on Lit for the past year or so. What strikes me is the sheer amount of men (yes, it's always men) who seem to think that my stories are real-life accounts of my own experiences. I realise that it's nice to fantasise that the stories which arouse us have a basis in reality, but please resist the urge to send me private messages asking me whether I've had sex with my kids. It's gross and inappropriate.

It's not just on here. I've been getting messages on my other writing outside of Lit as well, asking who I like to have an orgy with or who I like to be gangbanged by. I'm interested in neither orgy nor gangbang, although I love writing about them. My writing is not autobiographical.

So please, stop asking erotica writers about their sex lives. Especially if you've had no other interaction with that writer that gives you an indication that they want to talk about their sexual preferences with you. You wouldn't ask a crime writer about their favourite way to kill their neighbours/loved ones/friends either, so maybe offer an erotica writer the same respect. I love receiving messages telling me how much my story turned a reader on, but I'm sick of being asked whether my incest stories have a basis in reality.

Sorry for the rant. I love interacting with my readers, but I'm getting really sick of inappropriate messages.

Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me?

got any pics of your boobs?

asking for a friend.

 

[KeithD]

Does the name have to be taken as an invitation for harassment, though?

No, but there's every reason to believe it will with the folks who are likely to take it as an invitation. When all else fails, try common sense.

The "sender," by the way is the account holder picking a name to represent their file. Again, let's get real here.

 

[gordo12]

You can't go on a perv website without finding pervs. Women are going to get that regardless of what they post or want. Not that it's right, but it is what it is.

But on the other hand, being male, I like perverted women writing me. Sending pics. I don't mind it one bit. It means I aroused them. I wish there were more of them.

And the optics of a married woman writing stories about gangbangs, leaves a certain impression. [not knocking that by the way]

There is a component of the audience in Lit, both male and female, that have difficulty separating reality from fantasy.

 

[HeyAll]

I do get the occational question, asking which incest stories are real. But they're just questions.

 

[Blind_Justice]

I'm amused beyond words whenever I get personal feedback for my "More Than Video Games" incest story. All the angry men complaining why "I" didn't pursue my aunt much harder. "No red-blooded man could keep resisting like you did" blah blah blah. I do have an autobiographical story up here, but it's not "More Than Video Games." That story is as much pure fiction as any of my dragon-slaying, gender-bending, dark-elf loving pieces of D&D fanfic. *chuckles*

But nobody gives a shit about "Dramatic License". Maybe because there are no clear-cut, likable people in that story, only assholes looking out for themselves. And that absolutely includes the narrator. Me.

 

[Damoiselle]

Thus far, I haven't gotten much of this. Maybe because I haven't uploaded that many stories?

On the other hand, there were a few people who seemed to think my erotic horror about an incubus was, like, real.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Thus far, I haven't gotten much of this. Maybe because I haven't uploaded that many stories?

I've never had any, but on checking, my stories don't seem to have the 'send feedback' option - I'm guessing I turned off the option when setting up the account, but can't figure out how to change that.

Though I'd probably rapidly change it back again, given that on another site my profile has no gender options ticked and lists me as age 97 living in Antarctica, for very good reasons...

 

[lovecraft68]

No, but there's every reason to believe it will with the folks who are likely to take it as an invitation. When all else fails, try common sense.

The "sender," by the way is the account holder picking a name to represent their file. Again, let's get real here.

But there's still a person behind the words. They have fake names-like you do here-but they're real.

Even with a 'tame' name a woman writing incest stories is going to get this. It comes with the territory. Hazard of the profession.

I know a woman who writes a lot of non con/dub con for pay, you don't want to see the messages she gets on twitter or through her site.

When one writes an extreme kink, one gets an extreme audience even if you called yourself Vanilla Jane.

 

[ElectricBlue]

But on the other hand, being male, I like perverted women writing me. Sending pics. I don't mind it one bit. It means I aroused them. I wish there were more of them.

I think I'll set up an alt account, schlongeight, see how I go. You know, just enough of a reality promise but not unrealistic.

Redacted.

It all comes down to the way you project yourself, the public persona you give yourself, and that includes the way you dress, the pictures and sayings you put on your tee-shirt, and the account name you give yourself on a smut site. I think it's fairly common knowledge amongst advertisers that branding defines the product, so seriously, think a bit more about your aesthetic if you want the right people to look. Seriously. It's not hard to predict consumer reactions.

Oh look, new movie posters. What shall I go see this time? Hmmm, let's see. "Slut Mom Bangs at the Carwash." Gosh, I wonder what that one's about?

Mind you, Frederico Fellini was surely fucking with the punters when he released "8 1/2" back in the sixties.

Carry on .

 

[ElectricBlue]

When one writes an extreme kink, one gets an extreme audience even if you called yourself Vanilla Jane.

Precisely. So it gets a bit precious when someone complains about shitty feedback from the market place they're blatantly exploiting with their lookatme account name.

"Why do I keep getting shot at?" asked the target.

"Because you're at a fucking archery range."

"But I didn't expect that to happen."

 

[Bramblethorn]

I am somewhat surprised, though, when folk with fairly unsubtle account names wonder why they get the attention they do. You advertise the movie, you get the folk who go see that type of movie, and you can kinda guess your audience. Call yourself thebishopswife and I imagine you're going to get a different demographic. Just an observation, mind .

This ain't it.

My username refers to a shrub that's best known for producing thousands of penis-lacerating spikes that have a tendency to snap off in the wound and cause infections. Didn't stop me from getting sexually explicit PMs from random dudes.

It's fucking depressing. Any time a guy I don't know PMs me, even to say "great story" or "loved what you posted on the forum", I know that there's about a 50-50 chance that me replying with "thanks" will be taken as a sexual invitation.

Way too many slobbering fuckboys out there trying to hump the leg of anything that looks female, and way too many other guys making excuses for the fuckboys.

 

[KeithD]

But there's still a person behind the words. They have fake names-like you do here-but they're real.

I don't see the relevance of this comment, and this isn't a hypothetical case or a use of an innocuous name. This is a poster who has chosen the posting name of "SluttyMomma" complaining about being hit on in PMs. Common sense tells me she has some responsibility for being hit on in PMs in having chosen that posting persona. Her choice. Beyond that, this is a porn site. It's hardly rocket science to understand that you'll get mash notes just by playing here.

 

[KeithD]

This ain't it.

My username refers to a shrub that's best known for producing thousands of penis-lacerating spikes that have a tendency to snap off in the wound and cause infections. Didn't stop me from getting sexually explicit PMs from random dudes.

It's fucking depressing. Any time a guy I don't know PMs me, even to say "great story" or "loved what you posted on the forum", I know that there's about a 50-50 chance that me replying with "thanks" will be taken as a sexual invitation.

Way too many slobbering fuckboys out there trying to hump the leg of anything that looks female, and way too many other guys making excuses for the fuckboys.

Again, this is a porn site. Have some realistic expectations.

And I'm not making excuses--you're being offensive by going that route--I'm talking realistic understanding of where you are and of taking some responsibility for yourself. Not knowing that picking a provocative handle here and writing graphic smut will get you some smutty feedback wouldn't make you the sharpest knife in the drawer. And if someone can't handle some smutty feedback under the circumstances on their own, perhaps they aren't adult enough to be playing here.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It all comes down to the way you project yourself, the public persona you give yourself, and that includes the way you dress, the pictures and sayings you put on your tee-shirt, and the account name you give yourself on a smut site.

Okay, I'll bite.

Leaving the OP aside: what do you think it is about the way I "project myself" on this site that invites PMs from horny guys about how they'd like to fuck me? Could you please point to the bits in my persona here that are so much more sexually inviting than yours?

Fucksake, I don't even try to be likeable here, let alone sexy. It takes stupendous amounts of rationalisation to avoid recognising that the main factor here is "being read as female".