How do you feel emotionally?

[chame1eon]

Do you have nsa casual sex/ encounters?

If you do how do you feel toward those people emotionally?

 

[dp4shelly]

Getting emotionally attached

I find that if I enter a sexual relationship with someone I inevitably end up having feelings of love for them. Even if the relationship starts as just mutual sexual pleasuring I still find that I end up bonding with them. I don't think that is a bad thing but it is a complicated thing. My husband is my soul-mate and I love him in a different way and a more complete way than anyone else. However, I have discovered that a person can be "in love" with many people at the same time.

I think that sexual attraction would not be triggered if the person had noncompatible personality traits. So, that natural compatibility makes a clear pathway to drawing closer. With intimacy there is a measure of trust and that leads to understand and caring and eventually a feeling of being in love.

I do believe that social negativity about sex inhabits the number of sex partners most people have and I think that keeps people divided. If we all fucked more we would fight less.

 

[chame1eon]

I find that if I enter a sexual relationship with someone I inevitably end up having feelings of love for them. Even if the relationship starts as just mutual sexual pleasuring I still find that I end up bonding with them. I don't think that is a bad thing but it is a complicated thing. My husband is my soul-mate and I love him in a different way and a more complete way than anyone else. However, I have discovered that a person can be "in love" with many people at the same time.

I think that sexual attraction would not be triggered if the person had noncompatible personality traits. So, that natural compatibility makes a clear pathway to drawing closer. With intimacy there is a measure of trust and that leads to understand and caring and eventually a feeling of being in love.

I do believe that social negativity about sex inhabits the number of sex partners most people have and I think that keeps people divided. If we all fucked more we would fight less.

I've only ever felt that kind of love for two people ever. It doesn't come easily for some reason. Not sure what that says about me lol.

 

[Lucien_Al]

Do you have nsa casual sex/ encounters?

If you do how do you feel toward those people emotionally?

Apart from my wife I did end up falling in love with a co-worker where we both were looking for NSA. We still love each other dearly and very occasionally end up having sex we are in almost daily contact. This said we have both agreed that we will not let it break up my marriage. I do wonder how people lucky enough to have open relationships manage these eventualities.

I agree with the comment that there has to be a certain attraction for NSA to happen but I do tend to follow my own rules when it comes to NSA relationships and try not to deviate from them.

In the vast majority of the cases, I remember them fondly and if we do bump into each other we are still friendly but avoid becoming overly emotionally attached.

 

[dp4shelly]

NSA and FWB

In my earlier comment (post 2) I was talking about FWB not sex with strangers. I have never had sex with a stranger and can't imagine doing that. Of course when I say FWB that doesn't mean it has to be someone I have known for years. My point was that if an open marriage a person can have sex with a FWB and think it is going to be NSA. But while there may be no strings I find it impossible to have sex with a person on a regular basis and not develop feelings of love for them. The first time that happened I thought the best thing to do was end the relationship but my husband helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with loving more than one person. Also, if a person has more than one FWB than the relative nature of the love and sex is more generalized.

 

[chame1eon]

In my earlier comment (post 2) I was talking about FWB not sex with strangers. I have never had sex with a stranger and can't imagine doing that. Of course when I say FWB that doesn't mean it has to be someone I have known for years. My point was that if an open marriage a person can have sex with a FWB and think it is going to be NSA. But while there may be no strings I find it impossible to have sex with a person on a regular basis and not develop feelings of love for them. The first time that happened I thought the best thing to do was end the relationship but my husband helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with loving more than one person. Also, if a person has more than one FWB than the relative nature of the love and sex is more generalized.

When that happened to me that one time I ended it.

 

[roseburgsteve]

I just had to respond to this topic, I am happily married. My wife is a great woman and we have experienced a lot together in this lifestyle. In the 19 years together we are still very close.
At this time I have 2 other relationships going on that started out as nsa fun. One is with a 55 year old man. This one has been going on almost 4 years now. The other is with a 53 year old woman and it's been going on for almost 3 years. They both started out as fwb/nsa fun. Not long into each encounter feelings started being developed and now the I love you flows every time we talk or see each other. I am sure I will probably be judged harshly by quite a few on here but I do feel I can love multiple people at the same time. My wife will always be the one that holds the most of my heart though.

 

[chame1eon]

I just had to respond to this topic, I am happily married. My wife is a great woman and we have experienced a lot together in this lifestyle. In the 19 years together we are still very close.
At this time I have 2 other relationships going on that started out as nsa fun. One is with a 55 year old man. This one has been going on almost 4 years now. The other is with a 53 year old woman and it's been going on for almost 3 years. They both started out as fwb/nsa fun. Not long into each encounter feelings started being developed and now the I love you flows every time we talk or see each other. I am sure I will probably be judged harshly by quite a few on here but I do feel I can love multiple people at the same time. My wife will always be the one that holds the most of my heart though.

Why would you be harshly judged?

Im actually surprised this is possible over the long term but if it is that is great!

Seems like it would be complicated though.

Is it?

 

[roseburgsteve]

I forgot to mention in my post, that I feel now in my stage in life that if I don't have some sort of emotional connection with a person than most likely I will not be able to have a sexual relationship/nsa with someone.

 

[Tedfkats]

Half ecstatic and half prayerful!

 

[roseburgsteve]

Why would you be harshly judged?

Im actually surprised this is possible over the long term but if it is that is great!

Seems like it would be complicated though.

Is it?[/QUOTE

So far it's worked out very well. My boyfriend loves and cares for me but he likes to have his own life and we connect with each other a once or twice a month and it's pretty sensual. My girlfriend and I see each other more. She understands I am not wanting to leave my wife. She does wish that she could have a full on relationship with me. But so far it has not been difficult at all. As far as why I may be judged is because I love all 3 of them.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

I just had to respond to this topic, I am happily married. My wife is a great woman and we have experienced a lot together in this lifestyle. In the 19 years together we are still very close.
At this time I have 2 other relationships going on that started out as nsa fun. One is with a 55 year old man. This one has been going on almost 4 years now. The other is with a 53 year old woman and it's been going on for almost 3 years. They both started out as fwb/nsa fun. Not long into each encounter feelings started being developed and now the I love you flows every time we talk or see each other. I am sure I will probably be judged harshly by quite a few on here but I do feel I can love multiple people at the same time. My wife will always be the one that holds the most of my heart though.

I know EXACTLY how you feel and do agree...

 

[klippert]

This primarily happened when I was living a closeted gay lifestyle.. I had no emotional feelings towards them... they were willing to let me use them... Nuf'said

 

[georgejessin]

I have had FWB relationships that were exactly that. A friend that I could have sex with. I have happy feelings toward people that I interact with sexually, but I gave up on "love" a long time ago. To me? Love always involves compromise, and I would rather be liberated.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I find that if I enter a sexual relationship with someone I inevitably end up having feelings of love for them. Even if the relationship starts as just mutual sexual pleasuring I still find that I end up bonding with them. I don't think that is a bad thing but it is a complicated thing. My husband is my soul-mate and I love him in a different way and a more complete way than anyone else. However, I have discovered that a person can be "in love" with many people at the same time.

I think that sexual attraction would not be triggered if the person had noncompatible personality traits. So, that natural compatibility makes a clear pathway to drawing closer. With intimacy there is a measure of trust and that leads to understand and caring and eventually a feeling of being in love.

I do believe that social negativity about sex inhabits the number of sex partners most people have and I think that keeps people divided. If we all fucked more we would fight less.

I agree completely. Partners we have had as 3somes with no feelings were not even as good as my Lelo.
Husbands BF - incredible because I already loved him as a best friend.
Current cub - I adore. Love, not sure, but I am invested in his happiness.

 

[LauraWilling]

With strangers or one night stands that I have had, I did it for money or because I wanted too. Like meeting a nice guy at a party or some social setting. The paying customers I learned to "go someplace else" in my head. Guys I wanted to go to bed with I enjoyed it sexually and a fun emotion thing.
FWB's I enjoy it physically and usually have a good friendship with and a love for that friend.Over all I enjoy others enjoying me physically so for the most part I guess I feel fine about it. I do enjoy sex.

 

[30bandits]

Do you have nsa casual sex/ encounters?

If you do how do you feel toward those people emotionally?

I would if they happened, and I would want to do it again with her, more than likely, but not become emotionally attached...just fuck buddies....i'll be 51 soon and married 2 x....not gonna be a #3.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

I find that if I enter a sexual relationship with someone I inevitably end up having feelings of love for them. Even if the relationship starts as just mutual sexual pleasuring I still find that I end up bonding with them. I don't think that is a bad thing but it is a complicated thing. My husband is my soul-mate and I love him in a different way and a more complete way than anyone else. However, I have discovered that a person can be "in love" with many people at the same time.

I think that sexual attraction would not be triggered if the person had noncompatible personality traits. So, that natural compatibility makes a clear pathway to drawing closer. With intimacy there is a measure of trust and that leads to understand and caring and eventually a feeling of being in love.

I do believe that social negativity about sex inhabits the number of sex partners most people have and I think that keeps people divided. If we all fucked more we would fight less.

I have read or heard this same thing from quite a few people here at this site and from others in my life and in my life line. Though NONE of those others had the ring of them ACTUALLY believing the things that they said, the way that you do, believe.
I feel much the same way that you stated that you believe on this subject, the one exception being the thing about intimacy. Though I share intimacies with the people I have sex with, there is no measure of trust that I afford them.
As to how I feel emotionally toward them---I feel warmly about them

"I don't trust nobody, not even myself!!!
Well I can't trust you but I don't trust nobody else!"

 

[hundejahre]

I’ve only ever really had 2 “weekend flings”, and I was absolutely head over heals in love with one of them... who I had just met hours before, knew nothing about, and never saw again after she got into a cab at 5:00 am in front of my house so she could make her flight back to Germany.

The other one was meh, her leather jacket smelled like it was still being tanned and her accect really got on my nerves. She did let me cum in her ass, but that’s still more negatives than positives.

Mostly I fall in love with everyone I have sex with, which has not lead to great choices.

 

[muycurioso]

I would tell the women

Do you have nsa casual sex/ encounters?

If you do how do you feel toward those people emotionally?

I loved them. No matter what I have always suffered from bad lonliness

 

[Misshotndeep]

I have to have romantic attachment before I have sex with someone. I honestly am very confused as to how you all do it the other way around. I don't understand. I am not chastising or being mean either. I just don't get it.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

Do you have nsa casual sex/ encounters?

If you do how do you feel toward those people emotionally?

I've done a lot of dumb things in my life, including a lot of casual sex. I've always tried to be kind, but I've often had this lingering feeling that I didn't get things right.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

I have to have romantic attachment before I have sex with someone. I honestly am very confused as to how you all do it the other way around. I don't understand. I am not chastising or being mean either. I just don't get it.

biology beats emotion every time when it comes to sex...
I hunt 24/7--, though I don't like people, I like what they cause in my touch receptors..., the need, the drive to get that willing touch of theirs on my body is a drug like no other. If they can get my body to respond to their touch in a pleasurable way, its a done deal--, but once its done I'm gone, no regrets

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

biology beats emotion every time when it comes to sex...
I hunt 24/7--, though I don't like people, I like what they cause in my touch receptors..., the need, the drive to get that willing touch of theirs on my body is a drug like no other. If they can get my body to respond to their touch in a pleasurable way, its a done deal--, but once its done I'm gone, no regrets

So exactly how many hookers HAVE you killed?

 

[Misshotndeep]

biology beats emotion every time when it comes to sex...
I hunt 24/7--, though I don't like people, I like what they cause in my touch receptors..., the need, the drive to get that willing touch of theirs on my body is a drug like no other. If they can get my body to respond to their touch in a pleasurable way, its a done deal--, but once its done I'm gone, no regrets

Let me see if I get this right. Your basically saying that you are a slave to your base needs/desires? Emotion does not play a role in your choice as it does not fee that base need. Am I reading your words correctly?