Older Daddy Dom

[Starlightblue]

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[OralService]

There could be. Just like babygirls could be younger women. There are also those in life that think at 20 they are old enough lol and women at over 50 that wish they are young enough. It’s all according to where your brain is thinking.

 

[AliceLittle]

Not necessarily. I know several younger men (late 20s, early 30s) who find that they enjoy the role. It is a stereotype in several of the romance novels that it's usually a late 40s guy with a early 20s girl, but life lets people pick their interests.

 

[littlebirdjoy]

There is a different site that I used to be on briefly where I SWEAR the average age of both the Doms and subs was like 27. >.> It was waaayyy not my speed so I moved along. It was DDlg oriented, so no, definitely not. I think it is more that we find the place that fits us. The people who thrive on this forum are one thing... there are many other places which cater to different types.

 

[NotYourKnight]

Is there a common trend that Daddy
Doms are older men?

This seems to be the norm. Perhaps because a daddy is older. At 58, I have had the pleasure of a number of Daddy Dom relationships. When the dynamic of trust and connection is there, it is quite wonderful..

 

[Glazedcorneas]

I’m 44 and I think I dont know what a Dom is completely, I will need to so some homework, I thought I did, but I get the impression after being on Lit. That its not all about the gimp and more about other aspects.. Kidding about the gimp, sort of..

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Is there a common trend that Daddy
Doms are older men?

Define "older"...

Admittedly, while I may have had such tendencies towards being a DD it wasn't until I was older that I was mature enough to recognize them - though ultimately it was in fact connecting with a lg several years ago that brought them out. I'm sure there are plenty of younger guys who embrace being a DD. But given the holistic aspect of what it means, the maturity and inner security of giving so much, the responsibility implied in a DD/lg relationship, the mentoring and guidance that goes with it - it seems that only as we age do we have the capacity to take on full responsibility towards a little...

 

[EnchanteDream]

I tend to like Daddy Dom's a lot more than any other Dom I have spoken too in the past. I've spoken to a few Dom's already and a lot of them demanded things of me almost instantly. Right away, I felt as if something was off because I didn't know anything about them and they didn't care to ask me about myself or seemed to rush into things which I saw many Red Flags for this. "You will call me Master, right now." I didn't even agree to submit or anything. We just spoken and I thought this was weird and way off.

If I am going to trust anyone, it has to be earned. I am not going to trust someone simply by what they say. Actions say everything. So I refused to talk to any of those Dom's because I got some bad vibes from them. Daddy Dom's seem to be more loving and protective. This is just what I experienced so far and sharing it.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I tend to like Daddy Dom's a lot more than any other Dom I have spoken too in the past. I've spoken to a few Dom's already and a lot of them demanded things of me almost instantly. Right away, I felt as if something was off because I didn't know anything about them and they didn't care to ask me about myself or seemed to rush into things which I saw many Red Flags for this. "You will call me Master, right now." I didn't even agree to submit or anything. We just spoken and I thought this was weird and way off.

If I am going to trust anyone, it has to be earned. I am not going to trust someone simply by what they say. Actions say everything. So I refused to talk to any of those Dom's because I got some bad vibes from them. Daddy Dom's seem to be more loving and protective. This is just what I experienced so far and sharing it.

Even for Doms, submission has to be earned, not demanded! A true, and healthy, D/s relationship is predicated on trust, be he a DD or any other kind of Dom. Anyone who jumps into demanding submission without even knowing who the sub is, is only in it for their own joy, not yours - lots of red flags there to be very weary of!

 

[Orchidea73]

I've spoken to a few Dom's already and a lot of them demanded things of me almost instantly. Right away, I felt as if something was off because I didn't know anything about them and they didn't care to ask me about myself or seemed to rush into things which I saw many Red Flags for this. "You will call me Master, right now." I didn't even agree to submit or anything. We just spoken and I thought this was weird and way off.

I had one asking me the same thing right away at dinner, first date. I was like "WTF?!" and started laughing. Not only I don't like calling anyone "Master" or other "titles", but really? You invite me on a date and ask to be called a Master, while I am eating the god damn pasta? I left his arrogant ass there and went home, blocked his number.

 

[EnchanteDream]

I had one asking me the same thing right away at dinner, first date. I was like "WTF?!" and started laughing. Not only I don't like calling anyone "Master" or other "titles", but really? You invite me on a date and ask to be called a Master, while I am eating the god damn pasta? I left his arrogant ass there and went home, blocked his number.

I'm so glad you this this. I did the same thing. The moment that they ask me to call them "Sir" or "Master" without getting to know me first is a huge red flag. I'm so glad you blocked his number, I would have done the same thing. Bravo girl!

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I had one asking me the same thing right away at dinner, first date. I was like "WTF?!" and started laughing. Not only I don't like calling anyone "Master" or other "titles", but really? You invite me on a date and ask to be called a Master, while I am eating the god damn pasta? I left his arrogant ass there and went home, blocked his number.

I can only imagine his reaction when you started to laugh

Seems like one of the best ways to neutralize an arrogant ass is to laugh at them - and of course walk away.

Did you at least get your dinner packed in a doggy bag?

 

[AnnieLit]

I had one asking me the same thing right away at dinner, first date. I was like "WTF?!" and started laughing. Not only I don't like calling anyone "Master" or other "titles", but really? You invite me on a date and ask to be called a Master, while I am eating the god damn pasta? I left his arrogant ass there and went home, blocked his number.

It's interesting how differently this can be seen...

I am assuming that unless you met him the night before at a BDSM club, then most likely there were weeks, if not months, of writing, sexting, phone calls, right? But if this was the case, then you knew quite a bit about him and vice versa. Some people like to mark start of a scene with some symbolic rituals (putting on collars, cuffs, saying some words, assuming a pose, etc.), some treat any face-to-face time as a scene.
It might be true that you did not feel any chemistry between you two at that dinner, but if he felt differently, I see nothing overly arrogant in that request.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

It's interesting how differently this can be seen...

I am assuming that unless you met him the night before at a BDSM club, then most likely there were weeks, if not months, of writing, sexting, phone calls, right? But if this was the case, then you knew quite a bit about him and vice versa. Some people like to mark start of a scene with some symbolic rituals (putting on collars, cuffs, saying some words, assuming a pose, etc.), some treat any face-to-face time as a scene.
It might be true that you did not feel any chemistry between you two at that dinner, but if he felt differently, I see nothing overly arrogant in that request.

Why would you make all of those assumptions? She said “first date” and gave no other indication that they were past any basic getting to know each other stage. The conversation going on in the thread was specifically about a D type making such a demand without even knowing each other...

 

[Orchidea73]

I am assuming that unless you met him the night before at a BDSM club, then most likely there were weeks, if not months, of writing, sexting, phone calls, right?

No, I do not frequent BDSM clubs. But even if I did,I don't think that's a good reason. I'm quite ignorant about BDSM lifestyle. But I'm assuming not everybody who is into that likes calling names and titles? I could be wrong though, I don't know.

There were no weeks and months writing or phone calls, certainly not sexting. I met him through work. Not a colleague, I avoid any stories with them. If we had been sexting and writing he would've known that I do not call anybody Master or Sir. So yes, as far as I was concerned, that was an arrogant attitude because he assumed without knowing much about me in that respect.

Why would you make all of those assumptions? She said “first date” and gave no other indication that they were past any basic getting to know each other stage. The conversation going on in the thread was specifically about a D type making such a demand without even knowing each other...

Exactly!

 

[AnnieLit]

No, I do not frequent BDSM clubs. But even if I did,I don't think that's a good reason. I'm quite ignorant about BDSM lifestyle. But I'm assuming not everybody who is into that likes calling names and titles? I could be wrong though, I don't know.

There were no weeks and months writing or phone calls, certainly not sexting. I met him through work. Not a colleague, I avoid any stories with them. If we had been sexting and writing he would've known that I do not call anybody Master or Sir. So yes, as far as I was concerned, that was an arrogant attitude because he assumed without knowing much about me in that respect.



Exactly!

Sorry, my bad.
I did not think you two met at a club, but I thought it was something bdsm related - this site, fet, few other places.

 

[Orchidea73]

I'm so glad you this this. I did the same thing. The moment that they ask me to call them "Sir" or "Master" without getting to know me first is a huge red flag. I'm so glad you blocked his number, I would have done the same thing. Bravo girl!

Ty.
You know, I think some people might act like this because they think it sounds cool and they look good. I didn't have the impression that he was a dangerous person or anything. Or it was simply a miscalculation on his part.

I can only imagine his reaction when you started to laugh

Seems like one of the best ways to neutralize an arrogant ass is to laugh at them - and of course walk away.

Did you at least get your dinner packed in a doggy bag?

Ahahahah no, in Italy they don't dinner pack. I wish he could've made his request while we were at the coffee. lol

Honestly, the laugh came out spontaneously. I wasn't trying to humiliate him but I thought it was so silly. Both the request and the timing/place. I confess, I did feel bad after, for living him like that in the middle of the dinner all alone in that restaurant. I am not proud of it and I never did that before or after. But I was irritated and sometimes I act on impulse. Plus I know myself and I just wouldn't have been able to go on with the dinner as if nothing happened. It would have been a torture, probably for both of us.

 

[Orchidea73]

Sorry, my bad.
I did not think you two met at a club, but I thought it was something bdsm related - this site, fet, few other places.

Well, I was reading the thread and it was related with what Enchanted Dream mentioned. At least I think so.

 

[AnnieLit]

Why would you make all of those assumptions? She said “first date” and gave no other indication that they were past any basic getting to know each other stage. The conversation going on in the thread was specifically about a D type making such a demand without even knowing each other...

Probably because I would never go on a date with anybody without knowing these details. She is now here on this board, so it was not exactly a random choice on his part -- he did not make that suggestion to a completely vanilla woman, did he?

In any case, I am not saying that she did not have a right to feel offended, anybody can be offended by anything. All I am saying is that a request like that at an in person date and in a second PM are not exactly the same thing.

 

[Orchidea73]

Probably because I would never go on a date with anybody without knowing these details. She is now here on this board, so it was not exactly a random choice on his part -- he did not make that suggestion to a completely vanilla woman, did he?

No, I'm certainly not a vanilla woman. So what? Non vanilla women are supposed to like calling Master or Daddy smb? WTF?! I suppose If I'm wearing a mini on a date the other person should feel entitled to immediately grab my thigh, whether I want or not, because hellooooo I'm wearing something revealing. Geezers. You must be a huge success with women/men. lol

 

[EnchanteDream]

No, I'm certainly not a vanilla woman. So what? Non vanilla women are supposed to like calling Master or Daddy smb? WTF?! I suppose If I'm wearing a mini on a date the other person should feel entitled to immediately grab my thigh, whether I want or not, because hellooooo I'm wearing something revealing. Geezers. You must be a huge success with women/men. lol

I agree with what you said. In this kind of relationship, trust has to be earned. If you are not comfortable with someone grabbing you, you have a right to say so. It's your body. I hate how people guilt trip others because they are not comfortable with a situation. BDSM, there's trust involved. Not venting here just simply saying, you barely know this man and you went on a date with him and he wanted you to call him, "Sir" or "Master" this is weird. A huge red flag. I've talked to many people in the BDSM community and said "Trust" has to be earned. Girl, you did nothing wrong, I'm only stepping in because it's crap how people will guilt trip others over something they did, when they did nothing wrong. If anything, you did the right thing. Take care of yourself hun. Sorry to step in, but it irked me, lol!!

https://media1.tenor.com/images/d18d3b176e82a98030191cb6ebde5a81/tenor.gif

 

[AnnieLit]

No, I'm certainly not a vanilla woman. So what? Non vanilla women are supposed to like calling Master or Daddy smb? WTF?! I suppose If I'm wearing a mini on a date the other person should feel entitled to immediately grab my thigh, whether I want or not, because hellooooo I'm wearing something revealing. Geezers. You must be a huge success with women/men. lol

Ok, looks like we have very different definitions of the word "date". If I told somebody that I like some public fun, came to dinner in a mini, and WAS NOT touched throught the night at all, I don't think I will ever want to see that person again.

If a complete stranger did that just because he saw me walking into that restaurant, that would be a completely different story and he probably would get much more familiar with my knee than he ever wanted to be.

 

[AnnieLit]

I agree with what you said. In this kind of relationship, trust has to be earned. If you are not comfortable with someone grabbing you, you have a right to say so. It's your body. I hate how people guilt trip others because they are not comfortable with a situation. BDSM, there's trust involved. Not venting here just simply saying, you barely know this man and you went on a date with him and he wanted you to call him, "Sir" or "Master" this is weird. A huge red flag. I've talked to many people in the BDSM community and said "Trust" has to be earned. Girl, you did nothing wrong, I'm only stepping in because it's crap how people will guilt trip others over something they did, when they did nothing wrong. If anything, you did the right thing. Take care of yourself hun. Sorry to step in, but it irked me, lol!!

https://media1.tenor.com/images/d18d3b176e82a98030191cb6ebde5a81/tenor.gif

Who is guilt tripping who here? Did I ever said that she was wrong to walk away? If she felt uncomfortable, that was the right thing to do. Period.

All I am saying is that he might not have been that much wrong either.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Probably because I would never go on a date with anybody without knowing these details. She is now here on this board, so it was not exactly a random choice on his part -- he did not make that suggestion to a completely vanilla woman, did he?

In any case, I am not saying that she did not have a right to feel offended, anybody can be offended by anything. All I am saying is that a request like that at an in person date and in a second PM are not exactly the same thing.

You do realize people date to, you know, get to know each other, right? At no point did she give any inclination that this was an in-person meet up from fet or lit. She said it was a first date.

Regardless, it is completely inappropriate to say tell someone they should start calling you master now. Things like that are agreed upon.

No, I'm certainly not a vanilla woman. So what? Non vanilla women are supposed to like calling Master or Daddy smb? WTF?! I suppose If I'm wearing a mini on a date the other person should feel entitled to immediately grab my thigh, whether I want or not, because hellooooo I'm wearing something revealing. Geezers. You must be a huge success with women/men. lol

Yeah, sheesh. All of this. I really don’t understand the grief they are giving you.

I agree with what you said. In this kind of relationship, trust has to be earned. If you are not comfortable with someone grabbing you, you have a right to say so. It's your body. I hate how people guilt trip others because they are not comfortable with a situation. BDSM, there's trust involved. Not venting here just simply saying, you barely know this man and you went on a date with him and he wanted you to call him, "Sir" or "Master" this is weird. A huge red flag. I've talked to many people in the BDSM community and said "Trust" has to be earned. Girl, you did nothing wrong, I'm only stepping in because it's crap how people will guilt trip others over something they did, when they did nothing wrong. If anything, you did the right thing. Take care of yourself hun. Sorry to step in, but it irked me, lol!!

https://media1.tenor.com/images/d18d3b176e82a98030191cb6ebde5a81/tenor.gif

Yes, this. 100% this.