Ghosting...

[DarkrSide]

I've been ghosted so many times I just called Peter Venkman

 

[Deleted member 925492]

Twice in 2 days the other week...

I posted a thread asking for people who might like to voice chat and I got 2 PM's. One who said we seem like a good match on her last PM just faded into the night and nothing more. Another one added me to Skype said about 2 things to me and despite seeing my other messages since ignores me

It only takes 10 seconds to say you can't talk or no longer interested.

I don't get it and it does hurt.

 

[Dribble]

Twice in 2 days the other week...

I posted a thread asking for people who might like to voice chat and I got 2 PM's. One who said we seem like a good match on her last PM just faded into the night and nothing more. Another one added me to Skype said about 2 things to me and despite seeing my other messages since ignores me

If you're busy then that's cool but it only takes 10 seconds to say you can't talk rather than leaving right at start of a convo and ignoring me. I'd rather you just block me.

I don't get it and it does hurt.

This is not ghosting. You considering it so explains why they stopped talking. Sorry it hurts...but dude...

 

[iris3456]

She still could have taken ten seconds to say ..not interested

 

[Deleted member 925492]

This is not ghosting. You considering it so explains why they stopped talking. Sorry it hurts...but dude...

Adding me to Skype after exchanging PM's back n forth and saying all of 3 things in the Skype chat and then never saying another word again with no explanation sounds like Ghosting to me.

ghosting
The practice of ending communication with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Just because it wasn't a long term relationship doesn't negate it.

I have plenty of people after weeks, months and even years just disappear without anything if that makes you feel better. The longest one was someone I spoke to for about 8 years who just stopped all communication with me out of the blue.

 

[sht4brains]

As a man, I've been ghosted a fair bit on here. I used to feel terrible about it before (and it isn't easy not to, I'll admit).

Over time, I've realized it's a by-product of abundance of choice and the nature of the medium of communication that makes it so easy and dispassionate.

It definitely makes me value those women who are direct about not feeling interested in engaging anymore and value even more those women that click with me for us to stay in touch.

YES !!!!!!!

 

[sht4brains]

As someone who's been ghosted, it's never a fun feeling. They just disappear. Don't know why, but they're gone.

It is terrible! If you're not interested in someone, please have the decency to say so. We're all grown adults here, we can take it, or at least we should...

And if not, there's the report option.

True!!

 

[wannabplaything]

Seems to happen almost every time.

If I am not interested in continuing to talk with someone, I at least tell them that and say goodbye, but almost no one else does, it seems.

It's a sad commentary.

 

[coffeelover5]

I have been ghosted and it sucks

 

[bi11ionaire]

Just happened to me. Granted he doesn’t owe me anything but I thought he was better than that. Is asking for a little honesty too much?!

Here's a positive story. I was just unceremoniously ghosted by someone who claimed to be insatiable and reached out to Chilly Girl.

ChillyGirl was kind and empathetic. She also mentioned she was chatting with someone and not interested in chatting with me as a result. This is wonderful honesty and I'm grateful. The person she's chatting with is lucky.

 

[Nubbin2Declare]

You must be fun at parties.

I don't host or attend pity parties. Not my idea of fun.

If that's your thing, it seems you've found the right thread.

 

[TARDISCapricorn]

Ghosting SUCKS!

Just a word (or several) regarding ghosting...

Having been ghosted very, very recently by a young lady I met through chatting, let me say that it sucks, but one has to expect that it comes with the nebulous territory of extramarital and secret relationships.

I would agree with other posters that it’s not the ghosting that is so annoying or hurtful (although it can be a helluva kick in both the heart and the self-esteem), but rather the unknown factor involved as far as WHY we get ghosted. Like everyone here, I’ve had people in my life whom I genuinely care for just suddenly disappear, but in most of those instances, at least for me, the real world provided me with a clue or a cause of said disappearance.

The young woman of whom I speak approached me about establishing relations, which I was more than glad to do. In getting to know her, I discovered that she and I had so many wonderful things in common and so many ways that we could interact despite our physical distances. She is also, unfortunately, married to a person who, by her own admission, has a foul temper. My biggest concern is NOT that she has vanished from my everyday life, but that she is safe from an abusive spouse and not a victim of the current COVID 19 pandemic.

Fellow Litsers, if you should embark upon a relationship with a fellow board member, whether it be virtual or face-to-face, please be kind and, should the need arise for you to separate yourself, don’t just leave that person in the dark. Granted, no one here owes anything to anyone else, but if you’ve gone to the extent of sharing your mind, feelings, thoughts and your bodies with them (even virtually), please be so kind as to, if at all possible, provide that other person with some semblance of closure. You’ll both be better for it in the end.

 

[viperbob]

Ghosting is pretty awful leaves a bad taste in your mouth and heart when it happens to you....investing time to know someone then have them vanish is horrible