Ghosting Sucks

[lifeis2short2b]

Imagine, if you will, a conversation like this.

Him: Hi how are you?
Me: Hi
Him: Let's chat!
Me: Ok
Him: I want to chain you in my dungeon and assfuck you until you beg me to stop
Me: [silence]
Him: WHY ARE YOU GHOSTING ME?

As soon as the convo goes weird or dark or creepy, or in any way makes me uneasy, I'm out. And I don't owe anybody an explanation.

Is this an imaginary conversation ?

I think most here are talking about conversations that are going well and not getting weird. I would say most of the guys getting ghosted are pretty decent guys who have some class and when they finally get to chat with a woman they are not going down that dungeon rode. Unless perhaps its prompted.

 

[boxman11]

I got ghosted by a young lady from Literotica, we meet for coffee and hit it off I thought. We texted one another and set up another meeting update on the lake for a few days later. Rode up to are meeting place and she didn't show nor answer her text. It's a pisser to get ghosted.

 

[lacandy]

The one ghosting on here that really bothers me is this one girl, things were going really well, after almost a month, and a few pages of messages, she asked for my e-mail, I sent it to her. Haven't heard anything from her, or seen any action on her account since... Is she alive? is she dead? Honestly I would have preferred if she called me a looser and said that she found someone better, it's just an online relationship, but I grew to like her and now I don't know if she is okay.

I've got another one or two chats that just end on discussions about exchanging e-mails, which fair enough, but you could just tell me that you are not comfortable with exchanging e-mails and we could just keep on doing what we were doing.

on the up side, some of my ghosters on this site are doing fine, because they still post frequently, no Idea what I did wrong, and with no feedback I won't learn what I'm doing wrong, but ultimately I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

I just make up scenarios where they died in a fiery car crash…morbid but makes me feel better because that would be the only reason, right? (If I don’t tell myself something the self esteem can’t handle it!)
Though someone once told me that I should reframe that and think that o was just so amazing they couldn’t handle their feelings so had to just up and ghost (I’ve had them completely delete their accounts!).
But I’m still in “fiery crash” thoughts…

It isn't ghosting if you haven't been talking for a while. I'd say that if you have more than two pages of messages between the two of you on this site, you do owe them an explanation, not a long explanation, but especially on a site like this it would be pretty easy to misread kinks and send something that the other person finds uncomfortable.

I agree with this - I’ve never ghosted anyone (to me to ghost means there was more of a “Litationship) but I’ve not responded to a few messages over the years…

 

[average_red]

.

To be honest - I’m a chronic ghostie. But- I absolutely hate being rejected. It is a huge shot to my pride. I would rather be ghosted than rejected. So I often just ghost. To the men- you would rather be rejected than ghosted? Honest question.

So it sort of depends, me personally? 100% reject me, and I would appreciate a detailed reason, and maybe some clarification. "I don't like red heads" doesn't require explanation (and Is a VERY acceptable reason to reject me.) "I don't like your appearance" tends to make me wonder what you mean. I actually don't mind it when the chick is clearly just doing it to be mean and get an ego boost out of trashing me: I dodged a bullet, I'd hate to be in a relationship with a mean creature like that anyways.

I do however understand that when we don't know each other you probably just won't answer, which is fine, your account might not even be active, but it also means that I have no sympathy for women complaining about men's dating profiles/behavior.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

It's pretty interesting how common this is. Seems like there is no rhyme or reason. I just think (Experience/Guys point of view). That women on this site have so many of us horny guys on here they basically come and go as they please.

 

[DravenCrow13]

Maybe this thread will lead to lasting connections.

 

[GetNerdy]

I shouldn't laugh probably but

I just make up scenarios where they died in a fiery car crash…morbid but makes me feel better because that would be the only reason, right?

This is a great method
I mean, uh, I'm sorry for your loss..

Ghosting is rough but, I do think it depends on the scenario. The nature of Lit means people come and go/have to dip in and out sometimes and no one is obliged to carry on a conversation with me.. also if they want to hit the eject button, ghosting is probably better long term than trying to keep something going that isn't working for them. Due to their stunning inability to see how amazing I am. *cough*

Apart from if it's a situation where we've been texting multiple times a day for ages and it suddenly just evaporates for no reason. Because ouch. At least text me and pretend you've been kidnapped by aliens, or that all along you've been a prominent political figure and your lust is interfering with the running of a nation.

 

[GetNerdy]

Maybe I’ll go with a kidnapping scenario or He’s being used adv CIA mind control experiment?

yeah i heard that's what it was. I didn't want to say anything because it's top secret. And i mean top top secret.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

I get tons of messages that I can’t keep up with. I wouldn’t say I was ghosted though. He told he had lied about a few things, one being he had been talking to a new girl for a week - after we had been talking 6 weeks. So, while he was taking to her he was still engaging with me on lit in intimate ways. (Oh, but they’re just keeping it as friends right now, so I guess it’s ok . And that was that. I thought this was a wonderful, sincere human being who I thought the world of - whether as a friend or more - and that’s what’s so crushing plus my clearly poor judgement.

I get it that you get tons of messages. Not replying to a few is different than having a what seems like great back and forth then all of a sudden gone, and then still seeing them active.
As far as your Mr Wonderful. I don't see the big deal in carrying on a convo with someone else. Do you know what there interaction was? I have no doubt there are women here who are juggling a few guys.

 

[ThePullOutKing]

I'm sure the exception to the rule is those who meet and make a real relationship (I've heard marriage stories). It's a sex site. Come here for your fix and expect nothing more and no one gets hurt. Plus I like to remember that they probably come here to talk to other people for the same thing and/or friends they're just social with on here. It would be rare that I PM someone just because I see their name. I'd rather just talk in room and let them come to me if they're even paying attention to that specific room as we're usually in several rooms at the same time.

 

[DravenCrow13]

Im doing awful with it today. For one thing, I miss someone who I considered a friend and really respected. (Clearly, foolishly).

What are you doing awful with?

 

[DravenCrow13]

My feelings.

Dm me lets chat more