Female-Led Relationships

[littlecordelera]

She is not a control freak, sissy exist to make Her happy. She makes no demands but will make request or ask for favors which She knows sissy will grant. The relationship is a coexistence that promotes happiness to both. sissy wishes to do things for Her to make Her life easier. sissy will often seek advice from Her.

Sissy, who is "she"? I think you're talking about your SO, but in some ways it looks like you might be referring to me but in the third person.

 

[Scareltt]

The way we do it..

That actually made me chuckle, lol.

In all honesty, there are as many variations to a female-led relationship as there are to "traditional" ones. The purpose of my thread wasn't to deem one better or more proper than another. It was a way for me to express my desire for one the way I see it ideally, and to ask for thoughts, experiences and opinions of others.

I hope that you all keep commenting, sharing (via PM if not publicly) and interacting

The way our WLM works, may not be the way another one works.

The most important thing for me is that my husband is happy and healthy. The diet control went into affect because his doctor wanted to put him on blood pressure and cholesterol meds. That how we arrived at that.

Another thing I don’t bring up is his degenerative illness. At the moment the effects are mild, it’s only going to get worse. Establishing me as the person he looks to when he is confused or emotional will help later.

Me making his is lunch is way better than him eating McDonald’s or pizza every day.

What’s extreme to one person, might seem silly to another.

Someone just starting out on a WLM may chose a different way to handle different situations. Then after a few years they might change their approach..

 

[SissySalina]

She is Her you refer as SO. In private sissy refers to Her as "My Love".

 

[bitslinger]

She is Her you refer as SO. In private sissy refers to Her as "My Love".

Sissy is one of my favorite lit posters. (S)he always offers sound, reasonable, well thought-out advice and insight. I can't say that I'm a big fan of the quasi-2nd-3rd person voice, but the person behind it is clearly very intelligent and a great example of someone who enjoys his/her kink. I enjoy reading all about it.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I think you describe perfectly what a healthy relationship dynamic can be like. It’s clear that it’s mutual, beneficial, and fun. As far as where is the line between leading vs dominating vs controlling, etc: I think you used the magic word, which is that it’s about fun! As long as both enjoy the dynamics, and it brings joy and pleasure to the relationship, it’s a good thing. I think the kind of controlling behavior that Openmind was addressing comes from a place of insecurity, and brings resentment and anger to a relationship. A common example would be one partner trying to control the other in attempt to fundamentally change their personal behavior, or their social life, etc. While the lines might seem vague in terms of how and where they may be drawn; I really think it’s pretty simple in terms of the underlying motives. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word “Fun”!

I like the balance you describe here. Yes, as the "Sub" in the relationship, the male in such cases might pull more than his share of the chores and he would do it simply because he loves to please her. But even then, I would prefer some balance. But there are some where both partners crave a 24/7 mistress/slave relationship at all times; the male sub exists for no other reason than to do ALL the housework and pamper her 24-/7 while sleeping in a cage in the garage, and so on. I think I would have a hard time enjoying such a situation after a while- no matter how much I loved and cherished her dominance.

Quick edit: I once dated a woman, a long while ago, who was very dominant (which attracted me to her instantly at first) but who was also very insecure at the same time (which quickly killed the attraction.) And she told me she wanted to "mold" me into the perfect slave, and said she would control and change every aspect of my life- and this was after only about 2-3 weeks of dating. She scared me off. If the relationship had evolved into that more gradually, and she had not come off as so insecure, it ironically may even have led to me being her perfect FLR partner.

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

There's a lot about cuckoldry and the hot wife phenomena on lit but this concept of FLR is new and interesting to me. Does the woman in an FLR usually carry on sex outside the marriage? Does the guy obediently consent to this activity? Does the guy "get off" on sluttish behavior of his wife? Is he invited or allowed to be part of the third pard activity. Or is FLR more simple, just hubby pleasing the wife in all aspects of life

 

[lady_jennaxx]

There's a lot about cuckoldry and the hot wife phenomena on lit but this concept of FLR is new and interesting to me. Does the woman in an FLR usually carry on sex outside the marriage? Does the guy obediently consent to this activity? Does the guy "get off" on sluttish behavior of his wife? Is he invited or allowed to be part of the third pard activity. Or is FLR more simple, just hubby pleasing the wife in all aspects of life

The dynamics depend on the participants. What I don't like, someone else will love. That's the beauty of communication

 

[Kitschshaman]

There's a lot about cuckoldry and the hot wife phenomena on lit but this concept of FLR is new and interesting to me. Does the woman in an FLR usually carry on sex outside the marriage? Does the guy obediently consent to this activity? Does the guy "get off" on sluttish behavior of his wife? Is he invited or allowed to be part of the third pard activity. Or is FLR more simple, just hubby pleasing the wife in all aspects of life

I personally don't imagine it that way at all. The way I feel is that the couple should be completely devoted to each other but the male assents to things and does things for his love that he would not begin to think about doing for anyone else and the female lead is loving and caring for her love even though the things they do together might be unconventional as compared to 'normal' (what does that word even mean, really?) relationships. Abuse isn't love. I've experienced that before and there's nothing down that road but pain and I don't mean the fun kind.
Just my two cents.

 

[littlecordelera]

There's a lot about cuckoldry and the hot wife phenomena on lit but this concept of FLR is new and interesting to me. Does the woman in an FLR usually carry on sex outside the marriage? Does the guy obediently consent to this activity? Does the guy "get off" on sluttish behavior of his wife? Is he invited or allowed to be part of the third pard activity. Or is FLR more simple, just hubby pleasing the wife in all aspects of life

It can be all of the above or none of the above. How it operates in any given relationship depends on the dynamics of the couple. FLR simply means the female holds the authority. It's not always a sexual thing, but in these forums, or course that is where the interests lie.

 

[Kitschshaman]

bumpity-bumpity-bump-bump...

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

It can be all of the above or none of the above. How it operates in any given relationship depends on the dynamics of the couple. FLR simply means the female holds the authority. It's not always a sexual thing, but in these forums, or course that is where the interests lie.

My Mrs leads most everywhere but the bed room. She waits for me to take the lead there. I mean it's great, the focus being on pleasing her plus me pushing her to consider alternative "fantasies" through both conversation and select porn videos (a good many I post to various threads on Lit) It all works out nicely, but it would be interesting and nice if she were to actively craft the agenda for a change.

 

[littlecordelera]

My Mrs leads most everywhere but the bed room. She waits for me to take the lead there. I mean it's great, the focus being on pleasing her plus me pushing her to consider alternative "fantasies" through both conversation and select porn videos (a good many I post to various threads on Lit) It all works out nicely, but it would be interesting and nice if she were to actively craft the agenda for a change.

Have you guys ever discussed her taking the lead in the bedroom?

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

Have you guys ever discussed her taking the lead in the bedroom?

Not per se. I have asked why she never initiates activity, and I have told when she does take the lead how much I like it. She is just not agressive or imaginative when it comes to this.

 

[littlecordelera]

Not per se. I have asked why she never initiates activity, and I have told when she does take the lead how much I like it. She is just not agressive or imaginative when it comes to this.

My husband has often joked that I could make a small fortune providing this type of service to guys as part of a weekend getaway.

But he's not truly joking.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Just a little bump for my favorite thread...

and a question...

A ladyfriend of mine from university days loved to be bound (no pain, mind you, just being restrained) and the gentle domination that went with it when I would tease her out of her mind. The idea of it was delicious torture until she could not help but explode with pleasure. I know this is a long way to get to the question, but...she also loved to be in control in every other aspect of life. How to explain the apparent contradiction in viewpoint. Was she enamored of the FLR idea or not? The thought occurs to me that she was, but somehow she also loved the idea of being loved whilst being bound, but as I was doing exactly what she wanted that was a sort of leading from the bottom? I'm still enamored of this lovely woman, though we do not have that kind of relationship now and have never forgotten just how fulfilling it was.

Thoughts?

 

[jsez]

I feel like there’s a lot of different ways an flr can go, and in the end very few look like the porn we see about it.

Very few, indeed!

 

[jsez]

Thank you. It's always fun for me, but to be honest, sometimes my husband hates what I put him through.

But he loves that.

Yes - THIS! It's hard to explain, and sometimes even completely understand, but that is exactly what some men want/ dread/ want again.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Another little bump...still dreaming, always dreaming...

 

[Kitschshaman]

bump titty bump titty bump bump bump...

(the lone stranger rides again)

still loving the dream...

 

[whenagain]

I wish I were in a flr right now.

 

[Kitschshaman]

I wish I were in a flr right now.

So many of us do, but the key point is that like any relationship, it must be with the right person, the person that meshes well with one's desires. I can think of only one person that I'd be that open, that vulnerable with. Though that isn't possible right now, to know I have these feelings is to feel the magic of what can be...

 

[pumperguy191]

Perfect timing

So, my wife and I have been married for over 25 years. It's not always been perfect. I've written before of her infidelities. I've never discussed mine. Well, an innocent incident happened a month ago and it really bothered me. Finally, I had enough. I told her that we had to talk about things that happened. Reluctantly, she agreed. I then told her that we had an appetite for partners of another race. This was my way of admitting my infidelities. We continued talking for a while (this conversation was all done over text messages) and then I sent her a video link of a guy being put into a male chastity cage. She found it interesting.

Over the next couple of days, we continued divulging secrets of our past. The idea of chastity got stronger. Finally, I ordered our first male chastity cage. I was locked up 3 weeks ago. She understood that she controlled the key, not me. She was to decide when I got an erection which in turn means she decides when I get to achieve orgasm.

After looking online, we decided that we were entering a FLR. Obviously, we are in the beginning stages but it has been amazing. She is quickly getting used to the idea that she is in complete and total control. Last week, while caged, she decided that I was going to take her clothes off. I knew that I could do only that and no more. It was the most erotic encounter we have ever had. A couple of nights later, while still caged, she told me to perform oral sex on her until she said stop. It was even better than the undressing. Then, I told her that my last was 11 days prior. That night, she told me tom stand in the shower. She poured baby oil on my erection and said to have at it. She stood completely naked in front of me for inspiration. In a few short minutes, I believe that I shot the second biggest load of my lifetime. The first being when she first released me so we could have sex.

Due to some issues with the cage, I was let free for a few days while the little guy healed up. She has sent me a message every day indicating that it was time to go back in the cage. Upon inspection, the little guy wasn't ready. This morning, he was ready. I put the cage on and she inserted the lock and turned the key.

I have tried to explain the psychological effects of being caged. Whoever came up with the phrase that a man has 2 heads and usually thinks with the wrong one is so correct. My thoughts have been clearer while caged. My devotion to my wife has increased drastically. I've learned to keep quiet and not snap at her. She is learning control like never before, not just sexually. It has brought us closer than we ever thought possible. I love being in a chastity cage, I beg to get back in when I'm free. Early on, I bought her a gold key pendant to wear around her neck. I can't wait until someone asks what it means and she tells the truth.

 

[newhere2learn]

So, my wife and I have been married for over 25 years. It's not always been perfect. I've written before of her infidelities. I've never discussed mine. Well, an innocent incident happened a month ago and it really bothered me. Finally, I had enough. I told her that we had to talk about things that happened. Reluctantly, she agreed. I then told her that we had an appetite for partners of another race. This was my way of admitting my infidelities. We continued talking for a while (this conversation was all done over text messages) and then I sent her a video link of a guy being put into a male chastity cage. She found it interesting.

Over the next couple of days, we continued divulging secrets of our past. The idea of chastity got stronger. Finally, I ordered our first male chastity cage. I was locked up 3 weeks ago. She understood that she controlled the key, not me. She was to decide when I got an erection which in turn means she decides when I get to achieve orgasm.

After looking online, we decided that we were entering a FLR. Obviously, we are in the beginning stages but it has been amazing. She is quickly getting used to the idea that she is in complete and total control. Last week, while caged, she decided that I was going to take her clothes off. I knew that I could do only that and no more. It was the most erotic encounter we have ever had. A couple of nights later, while still caged, she told me to perform oral sex on her until she said stop. It was even better than the undressing. Then, I told her that my last was 11 days prior. That night, she told me tom stand in the shower. She poured baby oil on my erection and said to have at it. She stood completely naked in front of me for inspiration. In a few short minutes, I believe that I shot the second biggest load of my lifetime. The first being when she first released me so we could have sex.

Due to some issues with the cage, I was let free for a few days while the little guy healed up. She has sent me a message every day indicating that it was time to go back in the cage. Upon inspection, the little guy wasn't ready. This morning, he was ready. I put the cage on and she inserted the lock and turned the key.

I have tried to explain the psychological effects of being caged. Whoever came up with the phrase that a man has 2 heads and usually thinks with the wrong one is so correct. My thoughts have been clearer while caged. My devotion to my wife has increased drastically. I've learned to keep quiet and not snap at her. She is learning control like never before, not just sexually. It has brought us closer than we ever thought possible. I love being in a chastity cage, I beg to get back in when I'm free. Early on, I bought her a gold key pendant to wear around her neck. I can't wait until someone asks what it means and she tells the truth.

Incredibly hot. Absolutely perfect

 

[Kitschshaman]

So, my wife and I have been married for over 25 years. It's not always been perfect. I've written before of her infidelities. I've never discussed mine. Well, an innocent incident happened a month ago and it really bothered me. Finally, I had enough. I told her that we had to talk about things that happened. Reluctantly, she agreed. I then told her that we had an appetite for partners of another race. This was my way of admitting my infidelities. We continued talking for a while (this conversation was all done over text messages) and then I sent her a video link of a guy being put into a male chastity cage. She found it interesting.

Over the next couple of days, we continued divulging secrets of our past. The idea of chastity got stronger. Finally, I ordered our first male chastity cage. I was locked up 3 weeks ago. She understood that she controlled the key, not me. She was to decide when I got an erection which in turn means she decides when I get to achieve orgasm.

After looking online, we decided that we were entering a FLR. Obviously, we are in the beginning stages but it has been amazing. She is quickly getting used to the idea that she is in complete and total control. Last week, while caged, she decided that I was going to take her clothes off. I knew that I could do only that and no more. It was the most erotic encounter we have ever had. A couple of nights later, while still caged, she told me to perform oral sex on her until she said stop. It was even better than the undressing. Then, I told her that my last was 11 days prior. That night, she told me tom stand in the shower. She poured baby oil on my erection and said to have at it. She stood completely naked in front of me for inspiration. In a few short minutes, I believe that I shot the second biggest load of my lifetime. The first being when she first released me so we could have sex.

Due to some issues with the cage, I was let free for a few days while the little guy healed up. She has sent me a message every day indicating that it was time to go back in the cage. Upon inspection, the little guy wasn't ready. This morning, he was ready. I put the cage on and she inserted the lock and turned the key.

I have tried to explain the psychological effects of being caged. Whoever came up with the phrase that a man has 2 heads and usually thinks with the wrong one is so correct. My thoughts have been clearer while caged. My devotion to my wife has increased drastically. I've learned to keep quiet and not snap at her. She is learning control like never before, not just sexually. It has brought us closer than we ever thought possible. I love being in a chastity cage, I beg to get back in when I'm free. Early on, I bought her a gold key pendant to wear around her neck. I can't wait until someone asks what it means and she tells the truth.

I'm certainly glad you and she are happy with your arrangement, that's wonderful. I must say I somehow feel that for me, (emphasis on 'for me', as whatever floats your boat and doesn't hurt anyone else is fine and good) that the beginning of the FLR should be simpler. A recognition of simply what both partners want, not as a response to something that someone did wrong. It feels to me as if the devotion (of both partners) should be freely given, freely accepted and entered into with eyes open, without emotional baggage. That's the magic of it, the power of an FLR. For me, that's the dream.

 

[CaffeinatedHub45]

He knows he’s supposed to take his lunch to work. He’s on a pretty strict diet. It’s better he called. If I would have seen McDonals or whatever fast food on the credit card application he wouldn’t get a full orgasm for a long time..

Diet control is how I get him down to his high school waist size.

Like I said, it’s not always about sex or fulfillment. In this case he’s probably not very full..

I think you've been talking to my wife. After my recent physical, she's taken more and more control of my life in this way, too. Just another component of a life I have realized that I started to live a few years ago.