Female-Led Relationships

[Scareltt]

It’s not all fun and games!

My husband just called and asked me if he could have lunch. He was in a rush this morning and didn’t take anything with him.

I told him he better not spend more than 4 dollars. He’s eating a Subway 6” roast chicken..

It’s not always about sex...

I bet that tastes like cardboard, but he will thank me when we are on our cruise in 3 weeks..

 

[littlecordelera]

My husband just called and asked me if he could have lunch.

If he could have lunch?

Seriously?

 

[whenagain]

My husband just called and asked me if he could have lunch. He was in a rush this morning and didn’t take anything with him.

I told him he better not spend more than 4 dollars. He’s eating a Subway 6” roast chicken..

It’s not always about sex...

I bet that tastes like cardboard, but he will thank me when we are on our cruise in 3 weeks..

That’s a whole nother level.
Sounds like lots of work.

 

[Scareltt]

A point needed to be made..

If he could have lunch?

Seriously?

He knows he’s supposed to take his lunch to work. He’s on a pretty strict diet. It’s better he called. If I would have seen McDonals or whatever fast food on the credit card application he wouldn’t get a full orgasm for a long time..

Diet control is how I get him down to his high school waist size.

Like I said, it’s not always about sex or fulfillment. In this case he’s probably not very full..

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

He knows he’s supposed to take his lunch to work. He’s on a pretty strict diet. It’s better he called. If I would have seen McDonals or whatever fast food on the credit card application he wouldn’t get a full orgasm for a long time..

Diet control is how I get him down to his high school waist size.

Like I said, it’s not always about sex or fulfillment. In this case he’s probably not very full..

You used the operative word: control. I see this as a negative.

 

[littlecordelera]

He knows he’s supposed to take his lunch to work. He’s on a pretty strict diet. It’s better he called. If I would have seen McDonals or whatever fast food on the credit card application he wouldn’t get a full orgasm for a long time..

Diet control is how I get him down to his high school waist size.

Like I said, it’s not always about sex or fulfillment. In this case he’s probably not very full..

The words, "if he could have lunch," just took me by surprise.

We are an FLR, and I guess they are all quite different, but when my husband worked in the corporate world, I fixed a lunch for him everyday. I'd still be doing it, but he doesn't work that kind of job anymore. I was trying to keep him out of fast food restaurants the same as you are, just in a different way. Maybe we're not so different after all.

 

[Scareltt]

Hum...

The words, "if he could have lunch," just took me by surprise.

We are an FLR, and I guess they are all quite different, but when my husband worked in the corporate world, I fixed a lunch for him everyday. I'd still be doing it, but he doesn't work that kind of job anymore. I was trying to keep him out of fast food restaurants the same as you are, just in a different way. Maybe we're not so different after all.

I like that idea...

You know what, I could totally make his lunch for him!

For the rest of the week I’m going to try this..

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

The words, "if he could have lunch," just took me by surprise.

We are an FLR, and I guess they are all quite different, but when my husband worked in the corporate world, I fixed a lunch for him everyday. I'd still be doing it, but he doesn't work that kind of job anymore. I was trying to keep him out of fast food restaurants the same as you are, just in a different way. Maybe we're not so different after all.

She's a freaking control freak tis what she is.

 

[littlecordelera]

She's a freaking control freak tis what she is.

I don't know which "she" you're talking about, me or Scareltt, but it's not about control to me.

OK, maybe it is, but only on certain things.

 

[Emmcee20]

She's a freaking control freak tis what she is.

This is a Female LED Relationship thread. What part of being led suggests anything but control? It really only comes down to the degree of being led - in the more extreme it is a dog collar and chain; choosing to make his lunch to control his diet so he slims down, doesn't seem too radical to me. And it sounds like there is a clear reward at the end.

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

This is a Female LED Relationship thread. What part of being led suggests anything but control? It really only comes down to the degree of being led - in the more extreme it is a dog collar and chain; choosing to make his lunch to control his diet so he slims down, doesn't seem too radical to me. And it sounds like there is a clear reward at the end.

Ha! To each his or her own. If it's fun and rewarding to them, I'm good. I just know a guy that literally can't take leave without his wife's permission, and I don't think there's anything sexual to do with it just controlling. My dad was a control feeak. Maybe that's why I bristle at the thought.

 

[naughtymind]

Ha! To each his or her own. If it's fun and rewarding to them, I'm good. I just know a guy that literally can't take leave without his wife's permission, and I don't think there's anything sexual to do with it just controlling. My dad was a control feeak. Maybe that's why I bristle at the thought.

I’m with you here. I have no issues with a woman being assertive, or even taking a more lead role in a relationship (why not?). I don’t personally see taking the lead role as being automatically equal to overly controlling their partner, male or female. I think it’s important to distinguish between a dominant or lead role vs one that is controlling due to ego or insecurity issues, the latter being extremely unhealthy for all. Been there, wont be doing it again! I make no assumptions or accusations against anyone’s posts here, fwiw, but I’m glad someone brought it up.

 

[littlecordelera]

Ha! To each his or her own. If it's fun and rewarding to them, I'm good. I just know a guy that literally can't take leave without his wife's permission, and I don't think there's anything sexual to do with it just controlling. My dad was a control feeak. Maybe that's why I bristle at the thought.

You bristle at the thought of your wife making your lunch for you everyday?

 

[lady_jennaxx]

You bristle at the thought of your wife making your lunch for you everyday?

That actually made me chuckle, lol.

In all honesty, there are as many variations to a female-led relationship as there are to "traditional" ones. The purpose of my thread wasn't to deem one better or more proper than another. It was a way for me to express my desire for one the way I see it ideally, and to ask for thoughts, experiences and opinions of others.

I hope that you all keep commenting, sharing (via PM if not publicly) and interacting

 

[littlecordelera]

That actually made me chuckle, lol.

In all honesty, there are as many variations to a female-led relationship as there are to "traditional" ones. The purpose of my thread wasn't to deem one better or more proper than another. It was a way for me to express my desire for one the way I see it ideally, and to ask for thoughts, experiences and opinions of others.

I hope that you all keep commenting, sharing (via PM if not publicly) and interacting

I was just teasing him. I can understand how many people could not tolerate a significant other who is controlling. On the other hand, there are those who actually prefer it. For my husband and me, we just happen to be two personalities that fit together that way. I am a very sexual person, so I like to put that kind of spin on it. He likes that very much. I'm also a sort of motherly person, and - just being honest - I usually know what is best. He likes that, too. I know it's not for everyone, but it works for us.

I'll have to reflect on how controlling I am. Up until now and reading this thread, I haven't really thought about it.

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

You bristle at the thought of your wife making your lunch for you everyday?

No... I bristle at the thought of having to ask permission to go out for lunch. But, hey, if that's the game these two like to play, more power to em. I have no real experience with the Dom/sub relationship anyway, though some aspects of it could be interesting.

 

[ohverbatum7]

He knows he’s supposed to take his lunch to work. He’s on a pretty strict diet. It’s better he called

Are you being unnecessary cruel to him?, I hope it's only a game, and then you fuck his brains out!
Have you also being scrimping to afford the cruise?

 

[littlecordelera]

No... I bristle at the thought of having to ask permission to go out for lunch. But, hey, if that's the game these two like to play, more power to em. I have no real experience with the Dom/sub relationship anyway, though some aspects of it could be interesting.

I don't consider myself BDSM, and we never use the words "Dom" or "sub." Although there are aspects of that sort of thing in our marriage, that's not really our focus. On the other hand, I do have a riding crop or two, and I have used them, so I don't know, maybe I am BDSM. But I don't identify with that lifestyle.

So if you bristle at the thought of having to ask permission to get lunch, I'm guessing you would really hate it if you had to get permission to cum.

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

I don't consider myself BDSM, and we never use the words "Dom" or "sub." Although there are aspects of that sort of thing in our marriage, that's not really our focus. On the other hand, I do have a riding crop or two, and I have used them, so I don't know, maybe I am BDSM. But I don't identify with that lifestyle.

So if you bristle at the thought of having to ask permission to get lunch, I'm guessing you would really hate it if you had to get permission to cum.

That's interesting way of putting it. I guess how long permission would be denied comes into play. Hours versus days versus weeks. When it does happen, it's very erotic to me when my wife takes charge in the bedroom. She could have her way alot more than she does, but it's just not her nature.

 

[littlecordelera]

That's interesting way of putting it. I guess how long permission would be denied comes into play. Hours versus days versus weeks. When it does happen, it's very erotic to me when my wife takes charge in the bedroom. She could have her way alot more than she does, but it's just not her nature.

I received a couple of PM's that make me realize I should clarify some things.

My husband does not have to ask permission to cum every time he wants to. God knows, I don't have time for all that. It's just a tactic I use from time to time to keep things fun and interesting. And while it just so happens that our personalities are such that I am the leader and he is the follower, it is often fun to embellish the situation. When I embellish our roles, it is almost always in a sexual context.

No, I do not make him do all the household chores. First of all, we both work so he doesn't have time, and secondly, if I did, it would no longer be "interesting," it would be dull and boring. On the other hand, yes, there are times when I sit back and relax while I make him do chores. But that is an embellishment. It gets him aroused, and it gets me aroused. And in using little tactics like this here and there, I can keep us both "charged up" for days at a time. Eventually, the reward is well worth the wait.

And by the way, guys usually have a very hard time with the "wait" part. A good woman can help with that.

 

[naughtymind]

I received a couple of PM's that make me realize I should clarify some things.

My husband does not have to ask permission to cum every time he wants to. God knows, I don't have time for all that. It's just a tactic I use from time to time to keep things fun and interesting. And while it just so happens that our personalities are such that I am the leader and he is the follower, it is often fun to embellish the situation. When I embellish our roles, it is almost always in a sexual context.

No, I do not make him do all the household chores. First of all, we both work so he doesn't have time, and secondly, if I did, it would no longer be "interesting," it would be dull and boring. On the other hand, yes, there are times when I sit back and relax while I make him do chores. But that is an embellishment. It gets him aroused, and it gets me aroused. And in using little tactics like this here and there, I can keep us both "charged up" for days at a time. Eventually, the reward is well worth the wait.

And by the way, guys usually have a very hard time with the "wait" part. A good woman can help with that.

I think you describe perfectly what a healthy relationship dynamic can be like. It’s clear that it’s mutual, beneficial, and fun. As far as where is the line between leading vs dominating vs controlling, etc: I think you used the magic word, which is that it’s about fun! As long as both enjoy the dynamics, and it brings joy and pleasure to the relationship, it’s a good thing. I think the kind of controlling behavior that Openmind was addressing comes from a place of insecurity, and brings resentment and anger to a relationship. A common example would be one partner trying to control the other in attempt to fundamentally change their personal behavior, or their social life, etc. While the lines might seem vague in terms of how and where they may be drawn; I really think it’s pretty simple in terms of the underlying motives. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word “Fun”!

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

I received a couple of PM's that make me realize I should clarify some things.

My husband does not have to ask permission to cum every time he wants to. God knows, I don't have time for all that. It's just a tactic I use from time to time to keep things fun and interesting. And while it just so happens that our personalities are such that I am the leader and he is the follower, it is often fun to embellish the situation. When I embellish our roles, it is almost always in a sexual context.

No, I do not make him do all the household chores. First of all, we both work so he doesn't have time, and secondly, if I did, it would no longer be "interesting," it would be dull and boring. On the other hand, yes, there are times when I sit back and relax while I make him do chores. But that is an embellishment. It gets him aroused, and it gets me aroused. And in using little tactics like this here and there, I can keep us both "charged up" for days at a time. Eventually, the reward is well worth the wait.

And by the way, guys usually have a very hard time with the "wait" part. A good woman can help with that.

Ok, so you're not a control freak! I get that. However, there are some things I fantasize that my wife would make me do, but she's really not into it. We talk about it but she's either afraid or just not the domineering type sexually. From what I read here, sex is only part of the FLR experience, but it's the sex that's the hook that keeps everyone interested, right? The fantasy part for me is mostly about the sex! She likes it when I bring up her rekindling old boy friends, but she'd never do it. She likes watching mmf, but again... She likes when two guys touch, but. . Am I making any sense?

 

[littlecordelera]

I think you describe perfectly what a healthy relationship dynamic can be like. It’s clear that it’s mutual, beneficial, and fun. As far as where is the line between leading vs dominating vs controlling, etc: I think you used the magic word, which is that it’s about fun! As long as both enjoy the dynamics, and it brings joy and pleasure to the relationship, it’s a good thing. I think the kind of controlling behavior that Openmind was addressing comes from a place of insecurity, and brings resentment and anger to a relationship. A common example would be one partner trying to control the other in attempt to fundamentally change their personal behavior, or their social life, etc. While the lines might seem vague in terms of how and where they may be drawn; I really think it’s pretty simple in terms of the underlying motives. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word “Fun”!

Thank you. It's always fun for me, but to be honest, sometimes my husband hates what I put him through.

But he loves that.

 

[littlecordelera]

Ok, so you're not a control freak! I get that. However, there are some things I fantasize that my wife would make me do, but she's really not into it. We talk about it but she's either afraid or just not the domineering type sexually. From what I read here, sex is only part of the FLR experience, but it's the sex that's the hook that keeps everyone interested, right? The fantasy part for me is mostly about the sex! She likes it when I bring up her rekindling old boy friends, but she'd never do it. She likes watching mmf, but again... She likes when two guys touch, but. . Am I making any sense?

Yes, that makes sense.

And no, I am not a control freak. Well, at least not 100% of the time. 90ish maybe.

 

[SissySalina]

I received a couple of PM's that make me realize I should clarify some things.

My husband does not have to ask permission to cum every time he wants to. God knows, I don't have time for all that. It's just a tactic I use from time to time to keep things fun and interesting. And while it just so happens that our personalities are such that I am the leader and he is the follower, it is often fun to embellish the situation. When I embellish our roles, it is almost always in a sexual context.

No, I do not make him do all the household chores. First of all, we both work so he doesn't have time, and secondly, if I did, it would no longer be "interesting," it would be dull and boring. On the other hand, yes, there are times when I sit back and relax while I make him do chores. But that is an embellishment. It gets him aroused, and it gets me aroused. And in using little tactics like this here and there, I can keep us both "charged up" for days at a time. Eventually, the reward is well worth the wait.

And by the way, guys usually have a very hard time with the "wait" part. A good woman can help with that.

She is not a control freak, sissy exist to make Her happy. She makes no demands but will make request or ask for favors which She knows sissy will grant. The relationship is a coexistence that promotes happiness to both. sissy wishes to do things for Her to make Her life easier. sissy will often seek advice from Her.