What’s your best advice for writing good, realistic sex scenes?

[AdultCartoons]

what would you say your best advice is?

 

[vanmyers86]

Try to engage at least three of the five senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell), don't rush it, and don't go too crazy with your language choices. In other words, ask yourself which words these particular characters would use, and use those in their dialogue.

Good luck!

 

[NotWise]

Don't concentrate on the mechanics of sex at the cost of the emotions.

 

[SimonDoom]

There are some good "how to" articles that have been published here in the "how to" section. I think you will get a more thorough, detailed answer reading them than in responses here. But, that said, here are some of my thoughts:

1. Avoid anatomical measurements and ridiculously exaggerated dimensions. E.g., "He slammed his foot-long meat rod into her waiting honey hole, making her 44E breasts shake and shimmy."

2. Avoid cutesy or ridiculous euphemisms for body parts . E.g., "Meat rod" and "honey hole."

3. Alternative physical description with mental/emotional description. Don't just describe the physical act; let the reader know how the act makes the character or characters feel. Internal dialogue is good, or simply narration of how a character is feeling.

4. Mix in dialogue, too, to reveal how the characters in the sex scene are interacting and how they feel about what's going on.

5. Build up to the sex scene just like you would the climactic scene in any story. Add suspense, tension, anticipation, reluctance, taboo, surprise, or some combination of these things. You want the reader to be desperate for the sex to happen by the time it happens. You also want the reader to have a feel for the characters involved before those characters have sex. Sex is sexier when you feel like you are reading about a real character rather than a cardboard character that has been insufficiently described.

6. Don't change tenses and keep the POV clear. Authors screw these two things up all the time in sex scenes and it's distracting.

7. If realism is important to you, then imagine real people that you know, or at least somewhat like people you know, having the sex in your scene. Ask yourself, would a real person do this?

8. What Vanmyers said, 100% -- throw in descriptions of all the senses.

 

[BrokenSpokes]

Don't concentrate on the mechanics of sex at the cost of the emotions.

This, times a thousand.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

There are some good "how to" articles that have been published here in the "how to" section. I think you will get a more thorough, detailed answer reading them than in responses here. But, that said, here are some of my thoughts:

1. Avoid anatomical measurements and ridiculously exaggerated dimensions. E.g., "He slammed his foot-long meat rod into her waiting honey hole, making her 44E breasts shake and shimmy."

2. Avoid cutesy or ridiculous euphemisms for body parts . E.g., "Meat rod" and "honey hole."

3. Alternative physical description with mental/emotional description. Don't just describe the physical act; let the reader know how the act makes the character or characters feel. Internal dialogue is good, or simply narration of how a character is feeling.

4. Mix in dialogue, too, to reveal how the characters in the sex scene are interacting and how they feel about what's going on.

5. Build up to the sex scene just like you would the climactic scene in any story. Add suspense, tension, anticipation, reluctance, taboo, surprise, or some combination of these things. You want the reader to be desperate for the sex to happen by the time it happens. You also want the reader to have a feel for the characters involved before those characters have sex. Sex is sexier when you feel like you are reading about a real character rather than a cardboard character that has been insufficiently described.

6. Don't change tenses and keep the POV clear. Authors screw these two things up all the time in sex scenes and it's distracting.

7. If realism is important to you, then imagine real people that you know, or at least somewhat like people you know, having the sex in your scene. Ask yourself, would a real person do this?

8. What Vanmyers said, 100% -- throw in descriptions of all the senses.

This. All of this.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

Don't concentrate on the mechanics of sex at the cost of the emotions.

This, times a thousand.

Ditto. An effective and easy to remember rule of thumb.

 

[8letters]

There are some good "how to" articles that have been published here in the "how to" section. I think you will get a more thorough, detailed answer reading them than in responses here. But, that said, here are some of my thoughts:

1. Avoid anatomical measurements and ridiculously exaggerated dimensions. E.g., "He slammed his foot-long meat rod into her waiting honey hole, making her 44E breasts shake and shimmy."

2. Avoid cutesy or ridiculous euphemisms for body parts . E.g., "Meat rod" and "honey hole."

3. Alternative physical description with mental/emotional description. Don't just describe the physical act; let the reader know how the act makes the character or characters feel. Internal dialogue is good, or simply narration of how a character is feeling.

4. Mix in dialogue, too, to reveal how the characters in the sex scene are interacting and how they feel about what's going on.

5. Build up to the sex scene just like you would the climactic scene in any story. Add suspense, tension, anticipation, reluctance, taboo, surprise, or some combination of these things. You want the reader to be desperate for the sex to happen by the time it happens. You also want the reader to have a feel for the characters involved before those characters have sex. Sex is sexier when you feel like you are reading about a real character rather than a cardboard character that has been insufficiently described.

6. Don't change tenses and keep the POV clear. Authors screw these two things up all the time in sex scenes and it's distracting.

7. If realism is important to you, then imagine real people that you know, or at least somewhat like people you know, having the sex in your scene. Ask yourself, would a real person do this?

8. What Vanmyers said, 100% -- throw in descriptions of all the senses.

This is wonderful stuff. Let me add to it:
* There are two types of sex scenes for me. There are those in the middle of the story and there are the concluding sex scene after the couple has declared their love for each other. A story doesn't have the former. If it does, then the sex scene should advance the story and provide more information about the characters. I'm often really creative with those sex scenes. All my stories have the latter. I find them challenging to write because I've written that same basic sex scene in each of my stories
* I make my sex scenes long compared to most LitE stories. Definitely long enough for a person to get off while reading the sex scene. Say at least a thousand words
* Once the middle-of-the-story sex scene is over, I go back to telling the story. There are some stories where the couple has sex one night. And then again in the morning. And then in shower while cleaning up from the prior sex scenes. And then in the bathroom after taking a shower. And then in the bedroom after they leave the bathroom. To me, it gets monotonous
* Only a quarter of women consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse (link). I generally don't have my FMC orgasm during vaginal intercourse. The MMC makes her cum either oral or with his hand before they start coitus
* My MMC's don't last very long the first time they have sex with a new partner. A typical final sex scene for me is he gets her to cum, they fuck and he cums fairly quickly, they talk, they fuck again and he last much longer. If she cums during coitus, it'll be during that second fuck
* I'll have a general idea for what I want to the sex scene to be like, and then I watch porn videos similar to that to get a more specific idea of what I want to have happen. And then I basically transcribe the porn video. So if the couple are going to have sex on a couch with her on top facing him, I'll find porn videos of a couple having sex on a couch with her on top facing him

 

[NotWise]

Ditto. An effective and easy to remember rule of thumb.

That's what it is for me. It's something I remind myself when my characters dive headlong into sex and something doesn't feel right.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Close your eyes and play it thru in your head using all the senses to envisage what you’re writing. Put yourself in your characters place.

 

[Blind_Justice]

No idea. I just write them. Didn't get praise or complaints except for one - a m/m scene in "Temptation Of Gheeran." That one received high praise.

 

[HeyAll]

I generally live by the same rules for sex scenes:

-- No crazy phrases or pros to show off your metaphors skills

-- erotic words are powerful enough. stick with plain English

-- focus on the taboo. ie if it's a teacher/student story, focus on the wrongness. Same with boss/employee, etc... Focus on what makes this so naughty and what the lead character must be thinking about it.


The last point, in my opinion, is what seperates a good story from a great story. It's really the secret ingredient.

 

[KeithD]

Turn your mind off anything but being in the scene as one of the characters. Write it as you are experiencing it in your mind. Worry about cleaning it up later.

 

[Cliffhere4fun]

There are some good "how to" articles that have been published here in the "how to" section. I think you will get a more thorough, detailed answer reading them than in responses here. But, that said, here are some of my thoughts:

1. Avoid anatomical measurements and ridiculously exaggerated dimensions. E.g., "He slammed his foot-long meat rod into her waiting honey hole, making her 44E breasts shake and shimmy."

2. Avoid cutesy or ridiculous euphemisms for body parts . E.g., "Meat rod" and "honey hole."

3. Alternative physical description with mental/emotional description. Don't just describe the physical act; let the reader know how the act makes the character or characters feel. Internal dialogue is good, or simply narration of how a character is feeling.

4. Mix in dialogue, too, to reveal how the characters in the sex scene are interacting and how they feel about what's going on.

5. Build up to the sex scene just like you would the climactic scene in any story. Add suspense, tension, anticipation, reluctance, taboo, surprise, or some combination of these things. You want the reader to be desperate for the sex to happen by the time it happens. You also want the reader to have a feel for the characters involved before those characters have sex. Sex is sexier when you feel like you are reading about a real character rather than a cardboard character that has been insufficiently described.

6. Don't change tenses and keep the POV clear. Authors screw these two things up all the time in sex scenes and it's distracting.

7. If realism is important to you, then imagine real people that you know, or at least somewhat like people you know, having the sex in your scene. Ask yourself, would a real person do this?

8. What Vanmyers said, 100% -- throw in descriptions of all the senses.

As others have said, this is spot on an I intend to use this from now on.

 

[Handley_Page]

what would you say your best advice is?

Don't go mad with the dimensions
She only needs an adequate handful or he a sufficient length.

 

[Privates1stClass]

What’s your best advice for writing good, realistic sex scenes?

I'd suggest your story contain a relatively realistic plot, interesting characters, believable dialogue, and descriptive narration.

When it comes to sex scenes, think of your description as foreplay through the end of the act. It starts off slow, builds up over several paragraphs, reaches a climax, and then the characters bask in the afterglow.

When I edit, I tell authors for whom I'm editing, they are painting with words. That is, they have images in their heads which they want the reader to "see." So I tell them to use descriptive words and to include small details (she's biting her lower lip as he rubs her clit, his face is contorts as he cums, a long string of sperm drips from her vagina when she stands up, the aroma of sex fills the room, etc.). In summary, you as an author want the reader to "see" the same image you have in your mind.

Read one or more stories by DreamCloud to understand what I've mentioned above.

 

[KeithD]

Don't go mad with the dimensions
She only needs an adequate handful or he a sufficient length.

Unless you have a character who thinks and is turned on in terms of measurements (not necessarily accurate). There are people (both writers and readers) who do, and I don't think writers should toss out that type of character for use in erotic simply because other writers specify limiting "rules" of what to write in fiction--and what "all" readers want--or should want.

 

[KeithD]

I'd suggest your story contain a relatively realistic plot, interesting characters, believable dialogue, and descriptive narration.

When it comes to sex scenes, think of your description as foreplay through the end of the act. It starts off slow, builds up over several paragraphs, reaches a climax, and then the characters bask in the afterglow.

When I edit, I tell authors for whom I'm editing, they are painting with words. That is, they have images in their heads which they want the reader to "see." So I tell them to use descriptive words and to include small details (she's biting her lower lip as he rubs her clit, his face is contorts as he cums, a long string of sperm drips from her vagina when she stands up, the aroma of sex fills the room, etc.). In summary, you as an author want the reader to "see" the same image you have in your mind.

Read one or more stories by DreamCloud to understand what I've mentioned above.

Or start your story off with wild sex. Once again, fiction doesn't reduce to just a few formulaic arcs. It would be very dull if it did.

The thread is getting into advising limitations fiction doesn't have again.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

Or start your story off with wild sex. Once again, fiction doesn't reduce to just a few formulaic arcs. It would be very dull if it did.

The thread is getting into advising limitations fiction doesn't have again.

Ditto.

 

[TornConflict]

It's kind of been covered but senses are really important. I make the mistake about leaving smell out all the time. I have a poor sense of smell so I often overlook that sense when writing a sex scene.

The other suggestion I would give would be don't be afraid to walk away from a sex scene and come back to it. I find my mood often affects how well a scene flows. I usually know where I need it to end or how. If I find myself not having fun writing the sex part (doesn't happen often but it does on occasion) I will pick up where it resumes after that and go back to the sex part later.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

-snip- ask yourself which words these particular characters would use, and use those in their dialogue.

THIS. Just because you like flowery language describing the ruffled pink truffle atwixt and between her callipygian thighs doesn't mean your character would think that way. Sometimes, it's just a pussy or a cock.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Alternative physical description with mental/emotional description. Don't just describe the physical act; let the reader know how the act makes the character or characters feel. Internal dialogue is good, or simply narration of how a character is feeling.

4. Mix in dialogue, too, to reveal how the characters in the sex scene are interacting and how they feel about what's going on.

Everything Simon said, and I'd add: think of sex itself as a form of conversation. It's more interesting when there's something going on beyond just "I would like an orgasm".

 

[SimonDoom]

Everything Simon said, and I'd add: think of sex itself as a form of conversation. It's more interesting when there's something going on beyond just "I would like an orgasm".

I haven't heard this one before, and I like it.

 

[SimonDoom]

Unless you have a character who thinks and is turned on in terms of measurements (not necessarily accurate). There are people (both writers and readers) who do, and I don't think writers should toss out that type of character for use in erotic simply because other writers specify limiting "rules" of what to write in fiction--and what "all" readers want--or should want.

This is an essential qualification of what I wrote above. If the needs of the story or the characters in the story justify the use of measurements, as with a character with a measurement fetish, then go ahead.

This, however, is rarely the case, in my experience. Usually, when I see measurements in stories, it has nothing to do with the story or the characters but comes across as an intrusion of the author on the story, and a hackneyed intrusion at that.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Characters first, with personalities. The sex scenes then evolve naturally around what those characters would do, their desires, their motivations, their need.

One of reasons for my slow, meandering style, I've figured out, is in fact the sex scenes. I find myself circling around my characters slowly, trying to find the right way in to the emotional dynamic of the scene, waiting for them to be ready for the sex they're about to have. I just leave that content there, now; it's the courtship before the consummation, the undressing and the slow reveal.