Kinks We Don't Understand: DD/lg (First in a series)

[Moochienanu]

Okay all, I have to pump out a poem before bed, so I’m going to split from this thread for now. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your days!

 

[Moochienanu]

Do you think if you had a child with your "daddy", you'd want to call that person "daddy" in that way all the time? I'm not asking about any real or perceived difference between Dd/lg or age play. I'm simply talking real life roles. This could go for someone that has a "Mommy" as well. If any are on here!

Okay, one more...

When I am with my husband and child, I do sometimes refer to him as “daddy.”

For example: “give daddy that toy please.”

But when I say it, the connotation is so much different than when I call Him “Daddy.” When I call Him that, it is a term of endearment. One that means a lot to both of us as far as the role He plays in my life.

For example: “Thank you so much, Daddy. You mean so much to me.”

I feel like this would be the similar situation if my husband/father of my child was also my Daddy.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Oh, well then, nope. I can be little without a Daddy (and was for all that time before He found me).

I pretty much said this on the thread you linked in BDSM Talk relating to Dominant men.
(I don’t know much about Dominant women.)

 

[MissN]

As a lurker, just wanted to say I remember the poly thread when BFG was going in hard on the OP. She wouldn't let up on her questions until the wife came to the thread to post.
I see no difference to people asking questions about this topic as when BFG went in on the poly topic. Lawd a mercy, the irony.
There was a thread on this topic years and years ago in BDSM. There was also one on gun play that had similar reactions as this.

 

[JennyNo1]

I've been following this for a couple of days and every time I thought I might say something, another multi-paragraph post would pop up to read. I hope y'all don't mind my comments, as I usually don't participate in the threads on BDSM or DD/lg, although I read them with interest sometimes. But I do have submissive leanings, and if I had to label what kind of dynamic I look for, it would be DD/lg. It is kind of a subset of BDSM, dependent on the caring, nurturing, protective nature of the Dom, which enables the lg to trust Him enough to place herself in His hands, accepting advice, correction, discipline, guidance, encouragement, comfort, love and the like, and they enjoy each other in a less "serious" or "stern" relationship than some other BDSM dynamics. There may or may not be traditional trappings of BDSM like bondage, spanking, whips and floggers and whatever. But what makes it BDSM at the heart is the sub/lg submitting or exchanging control to the Dom or DD. This all happens in varying degrees, on a very wide spectrum.

Then you have age play - the enjoyment of things a child would enjoy, like coloring, cuddling a stuffy, and so on. It is a totally separate thing than being a lg, from everything I see. I think some confusion arises because of the word little being used in both terms. Also, there are obviously cases where the two things overlap, where the person enjoys "little" activities as well as the DD/lg relationship. If you can get past them not being the same thing, maybe it gives a bit more clarity. think of it like a Venn diagram where the DD/lg overlaps the little activities. In my own case, I love the DD/lg dynamic, but there's no overlap - no way would anyone think of me as a "little" as it pertains to acting younger. (although I do like me some Lady and the Tramp or Beauty and the Beast occasionally!) I like being able to turn my problems and concerns over and receive the support and guidance from Him. Yes, it's also very like any loving vanilla relationship, but with a bit more power exchange and kink thrown in!

Yipes, I didn't mean to go on so long; I think I was getting all this straight in my own mind as to how it pertains to me more than anything. Carry on, all! It's been very enlightening!

 

[lurkingguy1978]

I've been following this for a couple of days and every time I thought I might say something, another multi-paragraph post would pop up to read. I hope y'all don't mind my comments, as I usually don't participate in the threads on BDSM or DD/lg, although I read them with interest sometimes. But I do have submissive leanings, and if I had to label what kind of dynamic I look for, it would be DD/lg. It is kind of a subset of BDSM, dependent on the caring, nurturing, protective nature of the Dom, which enables the lg to trust Him enough to place herself in His hands, accepting advice, correction, discipline, guidance, encouragement, comfort, love and the like, and they enjoy each other in a less "serious" or "stern" relationship than some other BDSM dynamics. There may or may not be traditional trappings of BDSM like bondage, spanking, whips and floggers and whatever. But what makes it BDSM at the heart is the sub/lg submitting or exchanging control to the Dom or DD. This all happens in varying degrees, on a very wide spectrum.

Then you have age play - the enjoyment of things a child would enjoy, like coloring, cuddling a stuffy, and so on. It is a totally separate thing than being a lg, from everything I see. I think some confusion arises because of the word little being used in both terms. Also, there are obviously cases where the two things overlap, where the person enjoys "little" activities as well as the DD/lg relationship. If you can get past them not being the same thing, maybe it gives a bit more clarity. think of it like a Venn diagram where the DD/lg overlaps the little activities. In my own case, I love the DD/lg dynamic, but there's no overlap - no way would anyone think of me as a "little" as it pertains to acting younger. (although I do like me some Lady and the Tramp or Beauty and the Beast occasionally!) I like being able to turn my problems and concerns over and receive the support and guidance from Him. Yes, it's also very like any loving vanilla relationship, but with a bit more power exchange and kink thrown in!

Yipes, I didn't mean to go on so long; I think I was getting all this straight in my own mind as to how it pertains to me more than anything. Carry on, all! It's been very enlightening!

Yes!!!

That was what I was suggesting all along. You just said it better'n I could have, since I don't know WTF I'm talking about, really.

Awesome, Jenny!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Venn diagrams make everything better.

 

[JennyNo1]

Venn diagrams make everything better.

I know right?

 

[lurkingguy1978]

Venn diagrams make everything better.

I nerded out at the Venn Diagram reference.

Carry on...

 

[Lord Pmann]

Venn Diagram

I like making graphs...

 

[JennyNo1]

Damn it, Jenny. I was beginning to understand things and you lost me.

How you described yourself is exactly how I would describe myself... but where does the little girl fit in? I understand now that you don't need to do age play, but don't you need to be little?

Is it just that we have different terms to label what we each see as a loving, nurturing D/S relationship? I would never consider that in and of itself DDLG, and maybe that's the disconnect here with those that do?

Oh, crap, I rocked the boat.....
I think the DD/lg term stems from the lg being able to put her trust and adoration into her Dom in the way a girl feels about her father. Everyone's heard the term "Daddy's little girl" in completely non-sexual contexts. I'm one of those RA talked about who had a wonderful relationship with my dad - he was usually wrapped around my little finger, and very protective, understanding and supportive - but when I needed discipline, he didn't hesitate there either. But I always knew it was for my own good, out of love. They say women look for their father in their relationships, and I think it's true; that pertains to the emotional aspects. In my case, I do feel a "need" for that type of man, so I guess you could say I "need" to be little (girl). I had that wonderful relationship once, why wouldn't I want to feel that cherished and safe again? You probably could label it something different just as well; to me it seems to describe it best though.

ummm.....it's still clear as mud, right?

 

[JennyNo1]

This hits base with me as well..and what I take as the little aspect, that protective nurturing ..but I do have tendencies to want to snuggle a teddy bear when I’m really down or sick..I don’t think of it as she regression so much as a comfort thing.


Like eating comfort food when you’re not feeling well or feeling nostalgic.


Did I muddle it even more? Hmm?

I agree! We've all got that yearning for comfort, in whatever form it takes.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I just want to say, my takeaway from all this was that I'm right..

 

[Suz_anne]

I'm waving the white flag for myself. I guess I just won't ever understand. I am in a relationship where I'm nurtured, cared for, cherished but it is not a DD/lg dynamic at all.

The only difference I see is a need/desire to act in ways that are varying degrees of young/immature/bratty/etc. To me, that's age play. And after all of this back and forth, it still seems to be the thing that distinguishes a DD/lg relationship from my regular plain ol' vanilla relationship.

So I will agree to disagree with so many who have tried to help provide clarity and understanding. I really do appreciate those who displayed considerable patience with all of the questions.

I'd still like to see more DD's weigh in and participate on this thread. But I'm not holding my breath.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I just want to say, my takeaway from all this was that I'm right..

Ah, so you agree with me then.

 

[lurkingguy1978]

I'd still like to see more DD's weigh in and participate on this thread. But I'm not holding my breath.

I think that perspective would be extremely intriguing after more than a dozen pages of discussion with it absent. We're hearing about half of a dynamic that is a two-way street...and as such we kinda may be missing pieces that could help others understand.

 

[MrPractical]

Or the irony that every other time I post something similar to this about a topic or a person, you’ve PMed me telling me how funny it is and how much you enjoy it. You would never openly say it. But this is true. Yet now, when I laughed at something near and dear to you, you cry foul.

My mind is not made up. I’ve had a lot of information given to me here that I truly appreciate, from those whose names I listed above. I have changed my thoughts on a couple of things. I’ve defended your right to do as you choose. I’ve even gone farther than (nearly) anyone else here has and said that I think the age play between two consenting adults is fine, even though it makes me uncomfortable.




To be clear, my point number two was a theory, not a question. And the distinction is important- I’m not just splitting hairs. I wasn’t asking a loaded question. I was stating what I felt to be true and my observation on it. Moochie seemed to think I was on to something and agreed. I cannot be the only one who finds it a bit odd that only one daddy showed up here and he didn’t even bother to read the question before he speed his narrative. Do you think my theory is invalid? There is a worrying trend that when someone posts something someone dislikes or disagrees with, it must be shot down. This is a discussion forum. We are discussing.

This thread has been great. Other than my initial comment that started it, where I laughed at something people still do not choose to acknowledge as funny, I have been polite and respectful to anyone appropriately responding to questions. I’ve asked a lot of questions. And I have more. It seems that others have more. I realize Moochie doesn’t speak for every person’s experience. But right now, she’s a pretty eloquent representation of the group.

I think coming in here and trying to shut down the conversation is the equivalent of what you (not lurkingguy specifically) accuse me of doing. Sassy says she feels like she can’t post without people getting pissy or getting their feelings hurt. People still have questions. I’ve found this far more fascinating than I thought. The discussion was going just swimmingly. Let’s try to get back to it, not stop it for fear asking a question might hurt someone’s feelings.

I have to roll my eyes here.....You, in fact are being an ass and trying to make those of us who really understand ...feel like asses.

It's a great Gaslight little man. You are very transparent.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I have to roll my eyes here.....You, in fact are being an ass and trying to make those of us who really understand ...feel like asses.

It's a great Gaslight little man. You are very transparent.

Can you please explain your side of it?

 

[MrPractical]

Can you please explain your side of it?

Sure...I am happy to have an honest conversation and I know anyone else who indulges would feel the same...based on their vulnerability.

To often certain simpletons engage in question after question after question when it is clear they have a preconceived idea and their questions are nothing more than condescension.

I believe Troll would be the term used.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Sure...I am happy to have an honest conversation and I know anyone else who indulges would feel the same...based on their vulnerability.

To often certain simpletons engage in question after question after question when it is clear they have a preconceived idea and their questions are nothing more than condescension.

I believe Troll would be the term used.

Everyone is free to post here, or not. No one was dragged kicking and screaming into this thread.
Your sole purpose has been to poke. It has not been a productive one. I’m asking you to be productive. Nicely.

If you won’t, then maybe you should look at the term Troll again.

 

[MrPractical]

Everyone is free to post here, or not. No one was dragged kicking and screaming into this thread.
Your sole purpose has been to poke. It has not been a productive one. I’m asking you to be productive. Nicely.

If you won’t, then maybe you should look at the term Troll again.

Hmm..noted

 

[SassySheDevil]

We should do something to pamper ourselves while we have this discussion...like eat a delicious meal we don’t have to cook ourselves and get pedicures after.

Deal!! I would love that! (imagine the look on the face of the person doing the pedicures lol)

 

[Azuldrgon]

Deal!! I would love that! (imagine the look on the face of the person doing the pedicures lol)

*hugs Sassy*

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Ah, so you agree with me then.

if by "agree with you" you mean we agree that you can be a supreme douche...yep, we are two souls in accord..


Seriously, though, I "get" that DD/lg is a label with vastly different meanings to vastly different people.


You can safely say that there are couples who consider themselves to be in a DD/lg dynamic who DO AGE PLAY. The extent to which they age play, may or may not, spill over into the bedroom. When it DOES spill over into the bedroom, it distastefully reeks of pedophilic tendencies..

For others, again only a subset, they enjoy the taboo potential of incest.

Many do not.


Perhaps think in terms of squash..
You have Summer Squash and Winter Squash.
Of the summer varieties, you've got zuchinni, calabacita, yellow crook neck, patty pan, etc..
Winter squash come to you as pumpkins, acorn, butternut, ambercup...etc..

They are all still "squash", of the genus cucurbita..


Why are there so many species? Who the fuck knows? Am I going to try and figure out why all these ding dang squash look, feel, grow, and taste different?

Not likely. But I do know that they all share the same common name "squash ".


I'm afraid that if you (or anyone for that matter) tries to understand all the "whys" behind the variations, your own gourd might explode..

I mean, why do you draw an enormous pencil dick on a hangman character? Is it because it's funny? Are you trying to make fun of yourself? Why is it funny to you? Why do you want to make fun of yourself? Who's on first??? Is Watt really on second??!!


At some point one must come to terms with their own comprehensive limitations. Not everything is black and white.

I hate pumpkins, but love butternut squash. I prefer zucchini to calabacita.. the why is personal, and can not truly be explained in any other way than, I just have my preferences.



(Now look who's muddying the creek)

 

[AlwaysFara]

Hmm..noted

Oh, Grampy.

You are doing nothing to help the cause of this thread.

It’s clear you want a pissing contest with Pmann, when all we have been asking for is a real man to weigh in on the Daddy side.

I guess we still wait.