Kinks We Don't Understand: DD/lg (First in a series)

[Lord Pmann]

To clarify: Non-age play littles do not see themselves as younger than their actual age. That would be... wait for it... age play!

Littles who do participate in age play don't (as far as I'm aware) spend all of their time at their younger ages(s). And when they do, it is generally not sexual in nature.

'Little' does not = child, unless they do age play, during which time they are not participating in sexual activities.

Herein lies the disconnect. I think most of us Regulars don’t get this distinction. You post like it’s obvious. But even that explanation makes no sense to me.

How is acting little and age play any different? Regulars, like me, would argue those are the same thing. What is the difference in a 35 year old woman acting like a little kid versus a 35 year old woman saying she is acting like a little kid?

And am I really to believe these age play people really flip off that switch when the dick comes out? That the dynamic immediately shifts?

Again, where are the daddies? Why are they so silent all the time? How come they don’t ever say anything? This place is surely crawling with them, as I can’t turn a corner without tripping over a little. Or maybe there are like two or three daddies and you’re all sharing. Like a Little Sister Wives thing.

Moochie- I didn’t mention earlier, but you’ve eloquently answered some questions. Thanks for that.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The way I've always understood it, was that little referred to a particular age group... typically that of a little girl up to adolescence. And that middle was a teenage age and big was an adult.

I suggest new terms.

A little.

A mittle.

And a brittle.

 

[Lord Pmann]

See, but this is what trips me up. To me, this is simply a loving relationship. Security. Feeling of home.

This ^^^.

I find myself worried when I agree with these two.

If Allia comes in here and backs me up, I’m gonna lose my shit.

 

[AlwaysFara]

For some people bondage and cuffs and leather and whips brings a feeling of home and security and loving relationships and they like to call their partners Sir/Mistress

Is it simply because the term “daddy” brings the ick thoughts of incest that make it different?


Look back to 50’s slang, or movies like Gentlemen Prefer Blondes where it was 100% norm for women to call their s/o’s Daddy...it was simply a term for provider or protector ..nothing else

I don’t use titles. Sir. Master. Lord. Daddy. Not my thing.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Not saying you do but there are thousands of them out there, I wonder why this particular one is just harder to swallow than others

Because it also means father. And when you’re acting like a little kid along with it... you can do the maths.

this particular one is just harder to swallow than others

Also, this line made me giggle. That could be the name of your sex tape.

 

[Suz_anne]

The use of the word "Daddy", while cringeworthy to some and hot af to others, is not the issue that I see most people struggling with in this conversation. So I think that should be set aside.

It comes back to age play. And if there's no age play involved, then how is the little girl aspect at play.

Moochie did a nice job of trying to explain it, but it is still the part I don't get.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Briefly - I think it has more to do with innocence or purity.

<butts back out>

 

[Suz_anne]

I also want to say that this is, clearly, a complex and many-tiered kink that seems to trigger a lot of emotions. I really do appreciate those who are trying to answer to questions.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Damn, that leaves you out!

I'm many different kinds of kinky perv - just not a little! I'm waiting on my thread... sigh...

 

[Lord Pmann]

Where the fuck is moochie? She is clearly the most eloquent of the littles. Yet she’s probably sleeping or working or having tea, not answering my damned questions.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Where the fuck is moochie? She is clearly the most eloquent of the littles. Yet she’s probably sleeping or working or having tea, not answering my damned questions.

Fuck you.
I'm eloquent as shit.
Hot shit
Dripping hot diarrhea eloquence, mother fucker..

Respectfully, of course.

 

[jaF0]

For me little space just means I need extra care and attention...I need that whole “cuddled in your lap, held and taken care of” feeling ..the feeling that for a little while at least, I don’t have to worry about everything

See, but this is what trips me up. To me, this is simply a loving relationship. Security. Feeling of home.

Uh huh.

 

[Jada59]

I am 60 now but I still do things like a little kid might. See my avatar? Should some little cute animal cross my path, I turn into a 5 year old. The artwork on my walls is from Jody Bergsma. The ones with kids, elves, dragons, angels and animals.

When I was in my 20's, I built a huge dollhouse. I no longer have that and I no longer actively collect anything but rocks/crystals. I do have a collection of miniatures.

People buy me stuffed animals all the time. I wish they wouldn't. I do love them but they collect dust and make me sneeze.

I remember a time when it was common for young women to wear infant and toddler bows and barrettes in my hair. I did too. I also wore frilly socks, rhumba panties Keds or similar shoes or Mary Janes. All things a kid might do.

I think I'm young at heart. I can be very random. I might do silly things on a whim. That's just how I am.

In my former relationship, I did call him Daddy a few times. Only after researching the term and noting that its use does not have to mean what he wanted it to mean. I know what he wanted it to mean, but I can't get any more into that lest I violate Lit. rules.

I think at times, we *all* like to be nurtured and felt like we are being taken care of. Some need this more often than others.

I don't like being told what to do as a general rule, but it does turn me on to be given commands during sex. I will say that I'm somewhat of a switch but that's because I do love variety.

I suppose these are all random thoughts. I do wish I could say more but I fear I can not.

ETA: I will say, that my dad's dad died when he was 8. His mom expected him to go get a job to support the family. That he did. He went on to serve in the military, put himself through college and at times, worked more than one job.

He expected me to do similar when I reached 8. I didn't support the family, but I was expected to work. At that age, he considered me to be an adult and was treated as such. I had to do all sorts of things that an 8 year old would not usually be expected to do. By that, I don't mean sex. Just responsibility type things.

These things were not expected from my brother. Instead he was babied. I was told this was because he had asst. medical problems.

So for me, I think sometimes I am doing things now that I was not allowed to do in my childhood.

 

[Moochienanu]

Where the fuck is moochie? She is clearly the most eloquent of the littles. Yet she’s probably sleeping or working or having tea, not answering my damned questions.

*yawns and wipes the sleep from my eyes* okay... let me get my ass back to page three and answer some things.

(Also, I am going to mention right now that He is on a flight that lasts until tomorrow, so I might be a bit prickly... but I’ll strive to be articulate and kind)

 

[Lord Pmann]

*yawns and wipes the sleep from my eyes* okay... let me get my ass back to page three and answer some things.

(Also, I am going to mention right now that He is on a flight that lasts until tomorrow, so I might be a bit prickly... but I’ll strive to be articulate and kind)

I don’t think I’m the type of person who notices if someone is being prickly. Unless you’re killing kitties, I probably won’t notice.

I’ve written you lots of questions. The rest of these littles do not have your eloquence. And I don’t sense you have thin skin.

 

[Moochienanu]

I considered it stipulated as fact yesterday...

Honestly curious question: are littles more likely to be submissive in more gentle fashions vs other subs that might be more into more agressive doms, or is that as wide a spectrum as all other relationship aspects?

This question made me smile... mainly because I can be a spitfire/brat sometimes and so my Dom will adjust and be more aggressive when that is the case... basically, it is as you suspect: we all have our own preferences in what we like in a partner. Usually this has nothing to do with the dynamic past the more nurturing feel of most DDs.

 

[lurkingguy1978]

Is it just that Daddy/Little Girl = caregiver/caregivee? I don't see how that's different from D/S, but if someone could clarify that, this curious girl would appreciate it.

I think, at least for me, that this is very true. It's a power exchange of sorts, and a support mechanism. And there's semantics involved that I think are confusing the fuck out of everyone.

some d/s relationships involve the sub (as it was once described to me) emptying themselves...just becoming a husk, letting their dom control them, letting the pain or control or punishment when it comes to that empty them of all responsibility and thought...just being there with their partner, and not having to think of anything but them.

I think this is similar to the dd/lg dynamic. But instead of belts and restraints and paddles and clamps and all the fun toys that come along with it, it's cuddles and hugs and the knowledge that he's going to protect you and take care of you, and that you don't have to think or worry about anything.

I *think* that's the difference. It seems that way to me from all that I've read and the Littles I've befriended, even the ones I didn't know were Littles until way later.

If I'm off base, someone please say so???

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This question made me smile... mainly because I can be a spitfire/brat sometimes and so my Dom will adjust and be more aggressive when that is the case... basically, it is as you suspect: we all have our own preferences in what we like in a partner. Usually this has nothing to do with the dynamic past the more nurturing feel of most DDs.

Haha. I was waiting for this answer. There are plenty of brats who act up to get a beating. Or whatever.

Anticipating Fara's response, there are good girls who like bruises, too (But she's not a little, just a good girl).

 

[Moochienanu]

Thank you. I have many good traits. I am straightforward, indeed. And yes, I do enjoy stirring the pot sometimes. But I assure you, it’s genuinely in good fun. Sometimes I’ll point out when someone is being weird or a douche. Just as people will point that out about me. As well, I didn’t do it in their thread. I left their thread alone. I didn’t go in there and ruin it. I posted it elsewhere. I’m really all for their right to do whatever, as long as it is two consenting adults. We all have some weird sexual tastes. I’m kinda rapey. Like not the “go to jail” rapey. But just forceful type play. That’s weird AF. Disturbing, even.

What actually started this whole thing was me laughing at a little who posted for advice on “self-care”. I am sorry, but I found that funny. I still do. I’m not trying to make it as though you all shouldn’t do your thing. But as I’ve said, seeing people post things like “drink water” and “bathe” was hysterical to me. I still don’t understand how people aren’t just saying, “Okay, that’s a little funny.”

People compared it to me making fun of someone who had a mental illness. Hardly the case. I mean, wouldn’t you all laugh if someone came here asking for advice on how to stick a baseball bat up their ass?

What got me was that it was as if she was genuinely a kid posting for advice. It is like she was pretending to not understand what to do. So, I get playing little and I understand that dynamic. Not my thing, but I get it. However, what I don’t get is why one would specifically pretend to not know how to self care. I mean, the poster is intelligent. She’s well written. Well spoken. I presume she’s a professional. Certainly she knows how to “self care”. Why pretend otherwise? What does someone get out of pretending not to know how to be an adult, in a non sexual setting?

<sniped that last bit>.

This is very specific...

First off, love me some CNC, so no worries on thinking I’ll judge anyone for being “rapey” unless they’re out actually raping people who can’t consent to it (holy crap this is totally another kink I have which people don’t understand, isn’t it?!??!. Fuck. Well, I’m not getting into this one today, k?)

As far as finding a request for help funny because it came from a place where the adult asker approached it in a more childlike way (I think that’s whats being asked/wondered about here?), I think it’s just the way this particular partnerless person was approaching an issue she usually turned to her partner for help with. Sometimes I get so far into my head that I don’t want to make a basic decision, so I ask my partner (for example, I know have lots of panties... I often ask Him which colour to wear so I don’t have to think about it).

I believe, in order to get a baseball bat up your butt, you may need more lubricant and time than I have to offer...

 

[AlwaysFara]

I think, at least for me, that this is very true. It's a power exchange of sorts, and a support mechanism. And there's semantics involved that I think are confusing the fuck out of everyone.

some d/s relationships involve the sub (as it was once described to me) emptying themselves...just becoming a husk, letting their dom control them, letting the pain or control or punishment when it comes to that empty them of all responsibility and thought...just being there with their partner, and not having to think of anything but them.

I think this is similar to the dd/lg dynamic. But instead of belts and restraints and paddles and clamps and all the fun toys that come along with it, it's cuddles and hugs and the knowledge that he's going to protect you and take care of you, and that you don't have to think or worry about anything.

I *think* that's the difference. It seems that way to me from all that I've read and the Littles I've befriended, even the ones I didn't know were Littles until way later.

If I'm off base, someone please say so???

Your second paragraph is on base. Wonder who is so smart?

 

[lurkingguy1978]

Your second paragraph is on base. Wonder who is so smart?

I dunno. Some super-smart awesome chick.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I received a PM that helped clarify things for me a bit. It helped me understand that little is more of a personality trait. Like those that are seen as young at heart, I assume? I can relate to this because personally, I see myself as having a submissive personality that is not dependent on being in a submissive dynamic. I am who I am, 24/7. It's a part of me. So while some littles may age play occasionally so their behavior, looks, etc match their personality - not all do. But they are all young at heart. Am I getting this right?

I did say this earlier, about myself.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Thank you to Honey, Moochie, Shy, Lurking Guy and everyone else who has shared their experiences and questions. This is so much more productive than what has been happening recently.

 

[MaBelle3120]

I received a PM that helped clarify things for me a bit. It helped me understand that little is more of a personality trait. Like those that are seen as young at heart, I assume? I can relate to this because personally, I see myself as having a submissive personality that is not dependent on being in a submissive dynamic. I am who I am, 24/7. It's a part of me. So while some littles may age play occasionally so their behavior, looks, etc match their personality - not all do. But they are all young at heart. Am I getting this right?

I think that's a pretty good way to describe it for most Littles, young at heart and embracing it. Being a Little is a personality trait, and when Littles slip into "Littlespace", they're embracing that side of their personality in that moment. But that aspect of their personality is always there, it just doesn't always come out. I usually compare it to the different headspaces most of us have every day... we switch from "work headspace" to "free time headspace" and our different personality traits come out in the suitable moment to match our needs.
And as you said, some Littles may age play, and that is more about acting a certain age, and that can include behavior, looks, etc.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think that's a pretty good way to describe it for most Littles, young at heart and embracing it. Being a Little is a personality trait, and when Littles slip into "Littlespace", they're embracing that side of their personality in that moment. But that aspect of their personality is always there, it just doesn't always come out. I usually compare it to the different headspaces most of us have every day... we switch from "work headspace" to "free time headspace" and our different personality traits come out in the suitable moment to match our needs.
And as you said, some Littles may age play, and that is more about acting a certain age, and that can include behavior, looks, etc.

Still... I do not get the distinction between little and age play. Everything you’re (not you specifically, but you littles) describing as a little, seems like the behaviour of someone younger. Whether you act 12 or say you’re 12 is irrelevant to me. And I am not trying to judge it. I was just chastised for making fun of it because I don’t understand it. I do not believe that’s the case.

We can call it headspace or whatever... but someone using a colouring book or playing with dolls is age play, no?

So how does the age play come into play during sex?