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Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

Well, Maria, that was quite a story. We now go live to our man in the field, Andy Khant, who is live at Mercy General Hospital. Andy?

Thanks, Tom. I'm here today to cover a human interest story. Local boob DeckardNYC has just been treated for his ten thousandth anal cream pie. Any comments, Mr. NYC?

Some people say I've been making an ass of myself. Others say I have been causing a big stink insofar as anal cream pies are concerned. These people are asinine and should keep their opinions to themselves.

There you have it, Tom. This Mighty Spermin' Rump Ranger vows to persevere regardless how wrecked his rectum should become. Now, here's Liz with the weather.
 
kurrginatorX said:
Well, Maria, that was quite a story. We now go live to our man in the field, Andy Khant, who is live at Mercy General Hospital. Andy?

Thanks, Tom. I'm here today to cover a human interest story. Local boob DeckardNYC has just been treated for his ten thousandth anal cream pie. Any comments, Mr. NYC?

Some people say I've been making an ass of myself. Others say I have been causing a big stink insofar as anal cream pies are concerned. These people are asinine and should keep their opinions to themselves.

There you have it, Tom. This Mighty Spermin' Rump Ranger vows to persevere regardless how wrecked his rectum should become. Now, here's Liz with the weather.
Click to expand...

He was run over trying to cross the nj turnpike
 
Ol' Mr. NYC himself, Deckard, is in the news again. Popularity polls indicate that nobody's worried and nobody cares. Next, a bird that tweets on Twitter.
 
kurrginatorX said:
Ol' Mr. NYC himself, Deckard, is in the news again. Popularity polls indicate that nobody's worried and nobody cares. Next, a bird that tweets on Twitter.
Click to expand...

He won America's Got Talent with his pole routine. Now he's touring to a town near you.
 
For this human interest story, we go to our gal in the field, Tricia Takanawa. Tricia?

Tom I'm standing here today at the city limits of lickadick, RI where a woman describing herself as done got old currently resides. What makes this so fascinating is that the population is one, herself, yet there is a bank, a grocery store, and a gas station. Passers by state they have never seen the woman, so confirming this story will be next to impossible.
 
kurrginatorX said:
For this human interest story, we go to our gal in the field, Tricia Takanawa. Tricia?

Tom I'm standing here today at the city limits of lickadick, RI where a woman describing herself as done got old currently resides. What makes this so fascinating is that the population is one, herself, yet there is a bank, a grocery store, and a gas station. Passers by state they have never seen the woman, so confirming this story will be next to impossible.
Click to expand...

A jury decided that he came first, and left his partner hanging.
 
Went to Niagara Falls and jumped off. It was a metaphor that spoke for all the years he lived an unfulfilling life so he, in essence, flushed his life down the toilet. Some eyewitnesses said they heard him say, "Tell rlaflamme I love him" just before he leapt.
 
Has been seen torturing a mouse for three days. Just kill it already! (said to my cat on a regular basis)
 
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