I'll take Onomatopoeia for $1,000 Alex

[JanusGoneAwry]

One of the ways my variant of dyslexia impacts me is that I have difficulty decoding sounds into letter combinations. Thankfully if I can get close, spell checkers or Google usually carries me across the goal line but not always. In particular when it comes to non-words like Unh or Ugh or the countless other sounds that we endeavour to splice into our stories.

That was a pretty big assumption on my part, namely, that you use letter combinations to represent the grunts and groans and squeals that our characters utter while engaged in sexual relations. It could be that I am in the minority here, but I don't think so.

So this post has two objectives. One rather simple one and one that is more protracted (hopefully).

1) Do you use any sources for writing the various sounds we humans make, and if so what are they?

2) What are your thoughts on expressing the sounds that your characters make within the stories you write?

Unleash the hounds...

 

[NotWise]

1) Do you use any sources for writing the various sounds we humans make, and if so what are they?

2) What are your thoughts on expressing the sounds that your characters make within the stories you write?

Answering the second question first, I don't express the actual sounds. I describe the sounds as groans, moans, grunts, screams, etc.

Oops. Now I can't answer the first question.

 

[KeithD]

It depends on the specific circumstance. If you are conveying urgency, intimacy, and high arousal, sometimes use of a quick "sound" word and then racing on works. It all depends on the specific circumstances. Don't throw arrows out of your quiver "forever."

 

[Intrigued42]

My thoughts

So this post has two objectives. One rather simple one and one that is more protracted (hopefully).

1) Do you use any sources for writing the various sounds we humans make, and if so what are they?

2) What are your thoughts on expressing the sounds that your characters make within the stories you write?

Searched and found nothing you might use for reference. Spell things as you hear them and submit to an editor for assistance in refining the onomatopoeia.

I think spelling out the sounds as you hear them is a great idea and would add to the interest of your readers.

 

[SolarRay]

I have a set of non-words in the back of my mind to rotate through that I've determined generally work. I probably arrived at them via trial and error and reading other stories. I usually use them to accentuate something suddenly felt or intense. What I try to avoid is making them too over the top (like the same letter repeated six times in a row). They're there to punctuate your descriptions and prompt the reader to hear the intensity of the erotic encounter in their head to make it more real.
That said, I also think they're somewhat supplementary to descriptions of the sounds (groans, moans, etc.) and can be easily overdone. Especially if you're working on sex scenes that are detailed and drawn out, having multiple modes of expression in your toolkit helps achieve the right balance without calling too much attention to any one technique.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I use the occasional onomatopoeic "attempt" at a sound like "unnh" or "oh...hh", but with a very light touch, because a) I don't really know how people will sound them out (and it might just turn into a piggery and not be very sexy at all); and b) because I think they look silly on the page, if the text is littered with them..

When I see sex scenes with great long repeated scccccccrrrreeeeeemmmmms it throws me right out of the story as corny and fake, just like a porn vid.

Like any effect, to be used carefully and in moderation, I think, just to hint there's a bit of noise going on. I've never know any screamers, so there's that, too .

 

[SimonDoom]

It's an interesting question. I was about to reply that I can think of a source, but then I checked for one. It turns out there are online dictionaries for onomatopoeia (that word is such a bitch for me to spell -- spell check just dinged me). Here's a link to one: http://www.writtensound.com/index.php?term=human

I don't use a source but draw upon my memory of how to spell things or just write it as it would sound. But now that I know there are references online I might use them.

 

[ElectricBlue]

It's an interesting question. I was about to reply that I can think of a source, but then I checked for one. It turns out there are online dictionaries for onomatopoeia (that word is such a bitch for me to spell -- spell check just dinged me). Here's a link to one: http://www.writtensound.com/index.php?term=human

I don't use a source but draw upon my memory of how to spell things or just write it as it would sound. But now that I know there are references online I might use them.

That's not so much a list of sounds though, it's more a lexicon of commonly used sound describing words. There's not much onomatopoeia going on in that list.

 

[Hypoxia]

Eeeee! Aaahhh! Ooooohh. Unghhhh. Yeahhh! Unh unh unh. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. Splash...

Grunts, groans, screams, moans, splats, slap-slaps, howls, wheezes, whines, whimpers.

Animalistic is good but no mooing, baaing, bleating, or neighing... unless in costume.

 

[gordo12]

It's an interesting question. I was about to reply that I can think of a source, but then I checked for one. It turns out there are online dictionaries for onomatopoeia (that word is such a bitch for me to spell -- spell check just dinged me). Here's a link to one: http://www.writtensound.com/index.php?term=human

I don't use a source but draw upon my memory of how to spell things or just write it as it would sound. But now that I know there are references online I might use them.

Definitely a useful resource, thank you. I use sounds all the time. Often in exaggerated ways.

 

[JanusGoneAwry]

Answering the second question first, I don't express the actual sounds. I describe the sounds as groans, moans, grunts, screams, etc.

So this begs the question of whether the golden rule of writing fiction "SHOW don't tell" is at play with regard to the use of onomatopoeic words? When I'm in a scene where people are having sex I can write: Sally grunted when Jake shoved his sizeable cock into her diminutive vagina. That is telling to me.

Or: "Ungh! that cock of yours feels like it's going to rip me in two." The Ungh sounds right and seems more like showing. Obviously those two sentences are different in other ways and I made the second sassier bc it's the way I write.

The point remains--given that moderation in all things is a higher order law--that sounds are the SHOW participle in this case. I'd love to hear more thoughts about this please.

They're there to punctuate your descriptions and prompt the reader to hear the intensity of the erotic encounter in their head to make it more real.

That said, I also think they're somewhat supplementary to descriptions of the sounds (groans, moans, etc.) and can be easily overdone. Especially if you're working on sex scenes that are detailed and drawn out, having multiple modes of expression in your toolkit helps achieve the right balance without calling too much attention to any one technique.

So expanding on my point(s) from above I think that just like it's impractical for everything to be shown and there is a need to tell our readers things I believe that it it is also true that there is a need and perhaps a majority need to tell them that she gasped, or coughed, or wretched etc... I am still very interested in the conversation on what words do you use. For example I believe that there is a difference between what a girlfriend says (i.e. what sound she makes) when she sees her BFF's engagement ring "Oooo" and what she says when her BFF's boyfriend walks into the room naked with a sizeable erection "Oooo".

I use the occasional onomatopoeic "attempt" at a sound like "unnh" or "oh...hh", but with a very light touch, because a) I don't really know how people will sound them out (and it might just turn into a piggery and not be very sexy at all); and b) because I think they look silly on the page, if the text is littered with them..

I think, just to hint there's a bit of noise going on. I've never know any screamers, so there's that, too .

You make a very interesting point here EB specifically is it reasonable for us to assume that our readers all know what sound to assign "Ungh!"? How about "Aiee" or even "muahaha"? What about sounds in different parts of the world. (as a sidebar I believe that down under it's correct to laugh "ah ah ah" but I'll defer to EB on that account.)

Animalistic is good

And as usual Hypoxia can be counted on netting it out in as base terms as possible. I am coming to the conclusion that he is to writing what Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi was to Mathematics. Bringing it all back to common terms and logical operators.

So thoughts about the SHOW vs TELL aspects as it relates to the use of onomatopoeic words.

Also what's your favorite onomatopoeic word???

 

[SimonDoom]

So this begs the question of whether the golden rule of writing fiction "SHOW don't tell" is at play with regard to the use of onomatopoeic words? When I'm in a scene where people are having sex I can write: Sally grunted when Jake shoved his sizeable cock into her diminutive vagina. That is telling to me.

Or: "Ungh! that cock of yours feels like it's going to rip me in two." The Ungh sounds right and seems more like showing. Obviously those two sentences are different in other ways and I made the second sassier bc it's the way I write.

The point remains--given that moderation in all things is a higher order law--that sounds are the SHOW participle in this case. I'd love to hear more thoughts about this please.



So thoughts about the SHOW vs TELL aspects as it relates to the use of onomatopoeic words.

Within reason, I think you're right. Use of these words can spice up a scene by showing. But it should be in moderation, most of the time.

 

[ElectricBlue]

You make a very interesting point here EB specifically is it reasonable for us to assume that our readers all know what sound to assign "Ungh!"? How about "Aiee" or even "muahaha"? What about sounds in different parts of the world. (as a sidebar I believe that down under it's correct to laugh "ah ah ah" but I'll defer to EB on that account.)

See, that's a perfect illustration of my point - I'd laugh, "hahaha" (or perhaps "hehehe" if it was a bit of a giggle). If I saw "ah ah ah" I'd be thinking, "Whoa dude, get that sneeze out!"

Wait. Smart-ass - upside down is NOT backwards. I got my eye on you, sunshine, and I don't care which way you're facing .

 

[NotWise]

Or: "Ungh! that cock of yours feels like it's going to rip me in two." The Ungh sounds right and seems more like showing. Obviously those two sentences are different in other ways and I made the second sassier bc it's the way I write.

Is it really his cock that feels like it's going to rip her in two (and how would she know that?), or does she feel like his cock is going to rip her in two? Sally needs to work on her English syntax.

Sally lifted her thighs around Awry's hips and grimaced in pain. "That cock of yours might rip me in two," she said. "Then you'll have a mess to clean up!"

To me, writing sound effects is a quick dodge around writing English. Some of you evidently like them, but they don't convey much to me, and they can just knock me out of a story. The visual equivalent might be an emoticon, like '', instead of saying "Sally saw Awry's quick wink and a grin and knew she was in for a workout."

But, as KeithD advised, I shouldn't completely eliminate them from my tool box.

 

[LupusDei]

Well, we latvians are bird people who communicate in singed out sounds, words purpose made on the spot, and code it in writing with almost mathematical phonetic accuracy. For example "aislēkc" will be easily recognized as 'chid-speek' for "aizslēgts" [locked up] but "aizslegts" is a non-word that requires conscious thought about alternative coding systems to restore the omitted macron and thus the long vowel (yes, precise vowels are all important, and there's where it can go into crazy: "zāles" can mean "hols", "medicine", or "weeds" depending on intonation, modulation of that 'ā' (~2.5 'a' in length).

I can grab already omnomatopoeia-ady verb like "žvadzēt" [jingle /clang/rattle] make a derogatory diminutive noun "žvagulis" then a feminine adorable diminutive of that "žvagulīte" and a self-addressed recursive action "žvagulēties" and then say: "žvīgs žvākš, žvaugš, žvagulīte žvagulējās žvadzēdama..." and expect to be perfectly understood [gyyygh, jwAaacksch, gvAouksh, she-little-jingle self-rattle-played clangingly...].

English is a hard language to me, made worse by deteriorating into two barely connected languages: written and spoken, as there no simple algorithmic system of conversions between those, and even worse, the little there is of a system much too often code sounds differently than my default native.

But what the point was, in strictly phonetic language like my native it's easy and I wouldn't hesitate (although the point about overdoing remains actual), but how to mimic that in English i have no idea, and thus remain at opinion it should be done rather cautiously. As to my own attempts at English writing, I try very hard not to translate, but think in remarkably bad English instead, but still would generously use little no meaning exciting sounds like ah, oh, ai, ay, ouch, pff...

 

[SolarRay]

To me, writing sound effects is a quick dodge around writing English. Some of you evidently like them, but they don't convey much to me, and they can just knock me out of a story. The visual equivalent might be an emoticon, like '', instead of saying "Sally saw Awry's quick wink and a grin and knew she was in for a workout."

But, as KeithD advised, I shouldn't completely eliminate them from my tool box.

Right, I think one can look at it from both sides. If an author uses an excess of these words, it does feel to me like they're dodging English and can't write good description. On the other hand, if an author uses none of these words, the descriptions can sometimes feel laborious and flat. Here and there an author can break up the exposition by editing themselves down to a simple, "Ngh!" (or whatever they prefer) to let us briefly hear a character's pleasure rather than explaining it again.

That's why I think striking the right balance to blend both approaches without one or the other becoming a distraction is the challenge. Each author has their own recipe but for my taste having both in your toolbox to some degree is a good thing.

 

[NotWise]

I think part of my problem with sound effects is that (aside from Lit) the places I most often see them are comics. They have a comedic association, Batman.

Some of the English words you may be avoiding (like groan, moan, slap, bang and so on) by writing a noise originated (according to OED) as imitations of the sound. They are onomatopoeia.