Curious about random pms

[Sweet_Lara]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

 

[PWilton]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

Returns to unsolicited p.m.'s are pot luck. Yes, I always do my p.m. 'due diligence' by looking at their previous posts, profiles (where available), etc. Usually I send one based on something specific they posted or discussed. Have some nice correspondents, but there is kind of a pattern; starts out nicely, can be hot and heavy, then tapers off and the exchange ends. But some have lasted for a few weeks and quite fun.

 

[dashie33]

I'll only respond if it's obvious that a person has read my profile (well, in this case, my signature) and a few posts. On my old account, I can't count the number of times I got random PMs from people who were disappointed to find out that I was not a real chick.

 

[Erodicus]

Do you mean random or unsolicted? I don't send random PMs. But I do send unsolicited ones. They are always based on a combination of something the person has posted and, where available, any info in their bio that suggests we have a common interest.

 

[liqueur]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

I rarely send them—never completely random. Always (on the rare occasions I do send them) it's in response to some discussion on a thread where there seemed to be some commonality. Or else, they post something that piques my interest, and I look at their profile, and then respond to something there. I do always look at the person's profile, and (since no one after 2016 has a profile), I usually take a look at recent posts as well—unless my message is a very specific question. My messages are always polite and are never come-ons.

Sometimes they result in conversations, but most of the time just a very brief exchange. For instance, I might say "I really loved that picture you posted, would you be okay with me reposting it on my blog?"; and I might get a "No, I'd rather you didn't. Thanks for asking." or a "Yes. Thanks for asking." Occasionally I might get ignored completely, but not often.

 

[Whispor]

Of course I respond back!

 

[Carnevil9]

I've found that most ladies don't care for PMS much at all!

 

[MaBelle3120]

I wonder if people get mad when they receive random or unsolicited PM's.... at least thats the impression I get by the large number of people that start their PM's with "sorry for the random message...."

 

[Earthly1]

I have 127 pm's and I've responded to 82 of them. Some of them are quite random and its hard to know how to respond to them.

 

[UpwardSpiral]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

I send out unsolicited PMs to women from time to time, when I find someone who piques my interest; generally from a combination of profile, posts, geographic proximity, and photos. Yes, I also do my "due diligence", since I know how many messages that women here get that are just appeals for sex chat or dirty pics. I want to do whatever I can to stand out, to let them know that I'm not just wanting to get off with/from them. And trying to make a connection to something they've shared is a good combination of consideration and common sense.

When I do get responses back (generally less than 1 out of 10 times), it's fairly common for the woman to mention how much she enjoyed receiving my message, so that tends to be very validating. But the other 9 out of 10 times, all I get is radio silence. And honestly, it's very understandable. Either my interests and fetishes don't mesh with theirs, or they're just tired of being burned by the kind of troglodytes they've given chances to in the past.

I'll admit, I would prefer a "thanks but no thanks", but considering how common it is for a lot of men to not take no for an answer, not responding just equates to the least amount of headaches for the woman. So I do my best to take it in stride and not get butthurt over it. Such is life. I've met some amazing people here over the years, so I know the patience and effort can be worth it in the long run.

 

[fletchx]

Sometimes I wonder if there is a connotation in the PM-sending itself. Like, if someone posts something that piques my interest, I could just respond to them in the thread. Why am I choosing to make a private message of it?

I feel like it's like waiting for the girl at the party to be standing alone to go up and talk to her, rather than approach her in front of an audience.

 

[Uneklensane]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

I think it's just polite to read bios and/or profiles. And in this social media age I believe a random PM isn't really random...is it? Unless the poster states "no pm's"...or the like. But I PM in hopes of making a connection to a like minded person. Isn't that what LIT is for? I have interests that may reflect the interests of the person Im PMing.

 

[Autumn92]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

It all depends on how someone sounds when I get a random PM. If it's lame and has some cheesy attempt at roleplay or something most find their way to the trash can. If they sound like a human being that might actually be interested in talking I'll respond.

 

[Asian_Flower]

It is extremely rare to receive a genuine, well written PM, and even then, in the rare event that I do reply, literally within another message or 2 it's "so, sex, hint,sex, hint"

I enjoy chatting with people and I am not a prude but between the obviously fake female profiles and the seemingly poorly educated horny males it's just not worth bothering for the most part. I do feel for the genuine guys out there. Tarnished with the same brush.

Oh, heres a sample of the type of things I receive regularly

Do you like it in the ass?
Can I give you a massage?
Slanty eyed slut....yes, we have rascists here apparently
Hi, wanna have some fun?
I've always wanted to try an Asian.

YAWNNNNNNN

 

[Uneklensane]

It all depends on how someone sounds when I get a random PM. If it's lame and has some cheesy attempt at roleplay or something most find their way to the trash can. If they sound like a human being that might actually be interested in talking I'll respond.

I agree. After awhile role plays, which can be enjoyable when both parties are wanting them, can become routine and monotonous.

 

[Uneklensane]

It is extremely rare to receive a genuine, well written PM, and even then, in the rare event that I do reply, literally within another message or 2 it's "so, sex, hint,sex, hint"

I enjoy chatting with people and I am not a prude but between the obviously fake female profiles and the seemingly poorly educated horny males it's just not worth bothering for the most part. I do feel for the genuine guys out there. Tarnished with the same brush.

Oh, heres a sample of the type of things I receive regularly

Do you like it in the ass?
Can I give you a massage?
Slanty eyed slut....yes, we have rascists here apparently
Hi, wanna have some fun?
I've always wanted to try an Asian.

YAWNNNNNNN

I would think you would get quiries on your Avatar. Comments on the subtle black amd whitewith splash of red. Very Sin City!!

 

[blksoldier]

communication is the key

I like to send Pm's you never know If or when you might get a response if not you just try someone else. lit. is a place to communicate ,if you dont send a pm how is it possible to chat?

 

[Hosebloke]

Totally random pm’s in all the time I’ve been on here would be still in single figures

 

[Naughtyboy31]

I haven't had many recently but I have got quite a few from some women and quite a few guys (at least I think they are since they aren't specific in thier profile) complimenting me on my balls or my thong picture. Most I don't respond to or i respond with a simple thanks. I've sent a few PM's but usually don't here back. If I do they are pretty brief.

I guess it's a two way street.

 

[AlexGosford]

I used to have an account with a female name, I didn't even post here, I just used it on Lit Chat, but sometimes I'd browse the boards. But being signed in was enough to elicit PMs. I don't think I replied to any, they were always either "hi, how are you?", addressed me as some vomitous thing like "princess", "good girl" or "baby girl" and signed "daddy", or contained a lengthy roleplay idea. I guess that's what I get for pretending to be a girl.

In my experience, people who send a generic and unsolicited PM, both here and on Lit Chat, are rarely willing to put much effort in to the exhange, expecting instead for one to entertain them with little in return.

 

[klippert]

Guys, when you send random pms to ladies, do you usually get responses back?

Do most of you try to personalize them by looking at the profile, previous posts? Have you had any luck with the "Hi, how are you doing" posts?

I have responded to random "hello" pms where I was "feeling" it as well as pms that have touched on an interest of mine. So it can work both ways, depending on my mood.

Curious to hear your thoughts ... and success or failures.

before I send a PM I'll always 'click' on his or her profile. I want to see if; One they have filled out a profile, two: too see if they have a note "no" unsolicited pm

If and when I do send one...it will be in connection to a thread I frequent and they have either post a personal pic or comment..
success is more often than not.

 

[StrongMaster7]

I've become very disillusioned with the boards. It's probably me.

This is my typical Lit bulletin board experience.

1. I look at the topics and click on one that interest me.
2. I see a provocative comment by a woman.
3. I check her profile.

This is where we men finally learn how it feels to not have 'privilege'. So many women only want to chat with other women, or don't want unsolicited PMs, or have very specific requirements. I'd say I get one response for every three or four unsolicited PMs I send.

4. If her profile doesn't indicate that she doesn't want to hear from a man like me, I will try to write a brief PM indicating that I read her profile and would like to chat.

Some women want the man to propose a RP scenario, others hate that. Some would like a greeting like 'hello', others want you to get to the point. Some want instant action, others want a slow build-up.

5. If she responds, it's usually one of these:
a) No thanks, I'm busy. (This is polite and most appreciated.)
b) I'm not into dom/sub. (Understandable, based on my screenname, but if they read my profile, they's know it's not the case. I'll take the hit. It's on me.)
c) Hi. (And that's all...)

This leaves me trying to decide how direct to be, how sexual to be, etc.

6. If we have any kind of chat, I usually get one word replies to my questions and comments. Often it take minutes to get a reply. I presume the woman is chatting with several men at once and is shopping for someone who tickles her fancy.

I comfort myself knowing that (IMHO) well over half of the 'women' on Lit are men. That skews the percentages WAY over 90% male. It has been so long since I chatted with a woman who seemed to be engaged in the chat. It's been years since I chatted with a woman more than once. I have just about given up.

 

[jsweeney6969]

I wonder how many unsolicited PMs Lara received after her post!! LOL

 

[Amyable]

So as a newbie here I've had loads of PMs.

I've honestly appreciated all of them. Although some are far more interesting than others.

I understand it's hard to know how to start a conversation with someone you don't know, especially when there are none of the non-verbal cues you'd get in real life.

And its really annoying I can't get a profile! Does anyone know how I can fix that?

I don't get why a guy would introduce himself with a physical description of himself. Its not a dating site. I thought it was more about words and fantasies - the clue being in the name?

How are you? Is a pretty lame start. But understandable - it's polite and safe. (So long as it's not 'HRU' !)

Some conversations have been very sexual. Others not, but just as fun.

I guess it's just like real life. There's no formulas. Just dive in and see where it goes. Some people click and others don't. But being polite, and honest about what your purpose is, is never a bad starting place.

 

[jsweeney6969]

So as a newbie here I've had loads of PMs.

I've honestly appreciated all of them. Although some are far more interesting than others.

I understand it's hard to know how to start a conversation with someone you don't know, especially when there are none of the non-verbal cues you'd get in real life.

And its really annoying I can't get a profile! Does anyone know how I can fix that?

I don't get why a guy would introduce himself with a physical description of himself. Its not a dating site. I thought it was more about words and fantasies - the clue being in the name?

How are you? Is a pretty lame start. But understandable - it's polite and safe. (So long as it's not 'HRU' !)

Some conversations have been very sexual. Others not, but just as fun.

I guess it's just like real life. There's no formulas. Just dive in and see where it goes. Some people click and others don't. But being polite, and honest about what your purpose is, is never a bad starting place.

That about sums it up!!