Post baseless lies about the person above you - Version Four

He makes homemade "beef" jerky from road kill but only if it has been properly flattened by a semi truck.
 
He makes homemade "beef" jerky from road kill but only if it has been properly flattened by a semi truck.

Has a shallow pit behind his trailer covered with plywood where he keeps his dental floss collection acquired in public restrooms in individual baggies.
 
Lives alone. Every night at 10 p.m. he jumps on his squeaky bed and shouts, "You're so big. Please stop!" as he tries to convince his neighbors he's a real stud-muffin.

Doesn't understand why you have to heat up the soup - it tastes just great straight out of the can.
 
Likes to go out around town dressed in a pink tutu.

Discovered how easy it was to get Velcro shoes off, so now all of her clothes fasten with Velcro....because you know sometimes you just need to get them off in a hurry!
 
Discovered how easy it was to get Velcro shoes off, so now all of her clothes fasten with Velcro....because you know sometimes you just need to get them off in a hurry!

Has tried repeatedly to grow his own pineapple. He follows the directions but can't understand why no pineapple tree ever appears.
 
Has tried repeatedly to grow his own pineapple. He follows the directions but can't understand why no pineapple tree ever appears.

She threw her pink pillow out of the window and clawed the heck out of her couch when she watched a report on TV saying that milk isn't good for cats.
 
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