Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[JerseyJade]

Global warming has been mocked as fake news and Donald Trump considers him an accessory to the myth.

In other news, a man who calls himself Taegul was arrested today for disorderly conduct after refusing to take off his hat during church services. Witnesses reported that Taegul started crying and acting like a whiney baby and threw a fit when he was told he had to remove his hat. I don't know about you, but this reporter is shocked that a grown man would act this way.

 

[Jada59]

In other news, a man who calls himself Taegul was arrested today for disorderly conduct after refusing to take off his hat during church services. Witnesses reported that Taegul started crying and acting like a whiney baby and threw a fit when he was told he had to remove his hat. I don't know about you, but this reporter is shocked that a grown man would act this way.

She thinks every day should be Valentine's Day. In her spare time, she passes out heart shaped cookies that she bakes at home. The whole town loves her.

 

[JerseyJade]

She thinks every day should be Valentine's Day. In her spare time, she passes out heart shaped cookies that she bakes at home. The whole town loves her.

Awww.

On a lighter note, A woman who goes by the name of Jada was praised by city officials and all of its residents for taking care of and finding homes for all of the stray cats that roamed the streets. An award ceremony celebrating the kindness of this woman is planned for later this week.

 

[Taegul]

Awww.

On a lighter note, A woman who goes by the name of Jada was praised by city officials and all of its residents for taking care of and finding homes for all of the stray cats that roamed the streets. An award ceremony celebrating the kindness of this woman is planned for later this week.

She was kidnapped by some crazed perve from Southern California and they were both last seen heading towards some popular doctor's office in Las Vegas.

 

[kurrginatorX]

She was kidnapped by some crazed perve from Southern California and they were both last seen heading towards some popular doctor's office in Las Vegas.

**ALERT**ALERT**ALERT**

This just in: Police are on the lookout for notorious gangster Teagul who earlier today caused mayhem in the downtown Los Angeles area with a public cock fight. Teagul was--What? He was? Okay, new information has come in. It seems that Mr. Teagul and an anonymous individual had actually pulled their erect cocks from their pants and were beating one another with them like they were Billy clubs. Jesus Christ. Where do these sickos come from? Now, Tom with the weather.

 

[DeckardNYC]

**ALERT**ALERT**ALERT**

This just in: Police are on the lookout for notorious gangster Teagul who earlier today caused mayhem in the downtown Los Angeles area with a public cock fight. Teagul was--What? He was? Okay, new information has come in. It seems that Mr. Teagul and an anonymous individual had actually pulled their erect cocks from their pants and were beating one another with them like they were Billy clubs. Jesus Christ. Where do these sickos come from? Now, Tom with the weather.

This just in, city man arrested in mall with shotgun dressed like the terminator. He was screaming "I am the kurginatorX and I am from the future" when the police tased him, snared him with a net gun and then drug him off to Bellvue.

 

[kurrginatorX]

This just in, city man arrested in mall with shotgun dressed like the terminator. He was screaming "I am the kurginatorX and I am from the future" when the police tased him, snared him with a net gun and then drug him off to Bellvue.

Our top story tonight: Unidentified man drinks mixture of castor oil and prune juice, allows five skunks to spray him, then enters bank and demands to use the restroom to "make a deposit." More after this commercial announcement.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Our top story tonight: Unidentified man drinks mixture of castor oil and prune juice, allows five skunks to spray him, then enters bank and demands to use the restroom to "make a deposit." More after this commercial announcement.

Had dropped someone's diamond encrusted, gold speckled undies at a swap meet hoping to get money for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

 

[_valkyrie_]

She won a nationwide award for Best Rum Cake Recipe. The judges might have been a wee tipsy, after having a single bite from the cake she presented.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Was part of a panel of judges that awarded BCC the grand prize for Best Rum Cake Recipe, but failed to disclose her close relationship with the contestant.

 

[sweetheart97]

Was part of a panel of judges that awarded BCC the grand prize for Best Rum Cake Recipe, but failed to disclose her close relationship with the contestant.

This just in, a person was spotted by an unidentified bystander soliciting sex from a New York City mascot in Times Square. After a fake monk refused to sell the alleged person inner peace, they reached a new low, going from Elmo to Optimus Prime to Thor with unknown motives. The alleged assailant is still at large.

 

[SlyderInside]

This just in, a person was spotted by an unidentified bystander soliciting sex from a New York City mascot in Times Square. After a fake monk refused to sell the alleged person inner peace, they reached a new low, going from Elmo to Optimus Prime to Thor with unknown motives. The alleged assailant is still at large.

Reports indicate that bystanders were left breathless as she sauntered past,some even stopping in their tracks

 

[Deprived_in_AZ]

Reports indicate that bystanders were left breathless as she sauntered past,some even stopping in their tracks

His beard got stuck in the pasta maker.

 

[Plane_Guy]

His beard got stuck in the pasta maker.

Caught a foul ball in her beer cup at a cactus league, spring training game.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Caught a foul ball in her beer cup at a cactus league, spring training game.

This just in: A pilot was forced to land his plane on Interstate 75 after citing malfunctions in the cockpit. he was later--wait, we have Sally Strumpet on the scene. Sally?

Tom, it has been revealed that there were, in fact, no complications in the cockpit. The pilot was merely trying to bring attention to himself with the hopes that he could get Tom Hanks to do a story of his life.

 

[DeckardNYC]

This just in: A pilot was forced to land his plane on Interstate 75 after citing malfunctions in the cockpit. he was later--wait, we have Sally Strumpet on the scene. Sally?

Tom, it has been revealed that there were, in fact, no complications in the cockpit. The pilot was merely trying to bring attention to himself with the hopes that he could get Tom Hanks to do a story of his life.

News at 6 -- local man who fought for IS trapped in Syria, seeks to come home. Full story on the evening news.

 

[Taegul]

He sold $20,000 worth of counterfeit Girl Scout cookies to finance his dream vacation to Fiji.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He sold $20,000 worth of counterfeit Girl Scout cookies to finance his dream vacation to Fiji.

Operating the biggest grow house ever busted in the country.

 

[HBergeron]

Operating the biggest grow house ever busted in the country.

Nosing around the NYC docks a little too much.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Nosing around the NYC docks a little too much.

There was an award received by him for his writing skills.

 

[Jada59]

Nosing around the NYC docks a little too much.

He knitted little suits for those hairless cats so they'll never be cold.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

He knitted little suits for those hairless cats so they'll never be cold.

We begin our newscast this evening with an adorable kitten from the Acme Shelter, here in town.

Jada, tell us a bit about this adorable fur ball you've brought with you today...

 

[DeckardNYC]

We begin our newscast this evening with an adorable kitten from the Acme Shelter, here in town.

Jada, tell us a bit about this adorable fur ball you've brought with you today...

Breaking news, 40 foot long American flag flies off back of 1983 F150 and causes 43 car pileup on I10!

 

[done_got_old]

NYC man last seen walking north last year has disappeared without a trace.

 

[hotoldrguy]

NYC man last seen walking north last year has disappeared without a trace.

Retired teacher beats LIT man to death for using the word she when it was the object of a preposition!