Pet Peeves in Porn

[Whiskeyjack]

Every so often I'll be watching an otherwise good adult movie, but then notice something that brings my interest in the action to a screeching halt. Maybe one of the actors has a stupid hat on. Maybe they have a distractingly bad tattoo. Or the music is god-awful. Or the cat walks in. What ruins an otherwise good video for you?

 

[flamouria]

The glazed-over, dead fish-eye look to the camera.

 

[ydahecnot]

Definitely. On the front end, I won’t watch something with “analized” or “facialized” in the title. Just makes it sound gross and impersonal

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Just came across another one - the guy looked like he was on so many steroids I'm actually concerned for his health. I know it's porn, so you'd hope the guys would be fit with decent bodies, but this was just ridiculous.

 

[Hornblende]

Gagging. Obviously some people love it, but it's a complete turn-off for me.

 

[Polranny]

The number of women who keep their tops on whilst masturbating

 

[tightmedicine]

Probably the fake, high-pitched orgasm noises women in porn make.
And though my focus is much more on the male, seeing a pair of ludicrously fake, hard melon-ball boobs on a woman just kind of makes me go blech.

 

[Twlightdreamer]

Fake nails long enough to put a bear to shame. Wtf? Those don't belong on someone let alone up in their netherbits. There's no way that's comfortable and the moans of "pleasure" are terrible.
Hrm... and having a dirty room. Seriously. Amateur porn to professional- don't have piles of clutter tossed about in the background- it destroys the whole fantasy for me.

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Hey TD!

Out of sync voice overs or someone else moans not matching theirs. Its like watching old Japanese movies.

 

[KimGordon67]

Fake nails long enough to put a bear to shame. Wtf? Those don't belong on someone let alone up in their netherbits. There's no way that's comfortable and the moans of "pleasure" are terrible.
Hrm... and having a dirty room. Seriously. Amateur porn to professional- don't have piles of clutter tossed about in the background- it destroys the whole fantasy for me.

Totally that in am-porn.
In professional porn, the girl looking like she needs a good sandwich or seven.
I've also seen a couple where she was clearly coked to the eyeballs as the only way of getting through something she couldn't even pretend to be into. Not fun.

 

[ydahecnot]

Fake nails long enough to put a bear to shame. Wtf? Those don't belong on someone let alone up in their netherbits. There's no way that's comfortable and the moans of "pleasure" are terrible.
Hrm... and having a dirty room. Seriously. Amateur porn to professional- don't have piles of clutter tossed about in the background- it destroys the whole fantasy for me.

But awesome on the Clean Your Room thread

 

[KimGordon67]

But awesome on the Clean Your Room thread

I'd forgotten about that thread! It seems to have fallen by the wayside. Someone needs to resurrect it - so much fun!

 

[Hornblende]

I'd forgotten about that thread! It seems to have fallen by the wayside. Someone needs to resurrect it - so much fun!

Seconded.

 

[ydahecnot]

It was the baby of that one guy who kept getting suspended because of pic copyright issues

 

[johnrael]

Probably the fake, high-pitched orgasm noises women in porn make.

Worse yet when the orgasm moans are obviously overdubbed. Still worse when you can recognize them from another movie.

 

[ydahecnot]

Yeah, from When Harry Met Sally

 

[numeniusa]

Huge silicon breasts. Seriously? Why do women do that? They look like they would be uncomfortable to 'wear', and just horrid hard sacks of artificiality to hold. Too much....

 

[Jada59]

For sure, the tattoos. I'm just not into them. Depending on the tattoo and its size I can overlook some of them. But too many and...ugh.

Too many and/or weird piercings.

Gagging and ball gags.

Too much makeup and/or hairspray.

A bad manicure/pedicure. Even on a guy. Saw one where the guy had claws. Not toenails.

Fake anything, including boobs, hair, plastic surgery or orgasms.

Crappy sets.

Dirty dungeons.

Squeaky beds.

No sound.

Weird background noises.

Screechy or whiny voices.

People speaking in foreign languages. I can handle a few words but when one or more of them goes off on a diatribe and I have no clue what they're saying, I dislike it!

Bad acting and cheesy/unbelievable plots. Such as mother/son, brother/sister. Granted, not all are this way and I'm not into incest but I did see a brother/sister one which at least made it appear that they were brother and sister, but the jail let her out wearing the orange suit because she puked on herself? I don't think so.

Too much set up. A half an hour or more of some guy tying the woman up then about 2 minutes or torture and/or sex.

Full face masks. I want to see the person's face!

People that look spaced out. Like they're on drugs.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Bad acting and cheesy/unbelievable plots. Such as mother/son, brother/sister. Granted, not all are this way and I'm not into incest but I did see a brother/sister one which at least made it appear that they were brother and sister, but the jail let her out wearing the orange suit because she puked on herself? I don't think so.

There does seem to be a glut of incest porn out there, and I just don't get it. There's a lot to be said for family, but to me, "sexy" isn't one of those things.

 

[flamouria]

There does seem to be a glut of incest porn out there, and I just don't get it. There's a lot to be said for family, but to me, "sexy" isn't one of those things.

You could say that about any genre of porn, really. There's probably more beastiality content out there than there are actual fans of it, but still.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Trying to make everything seem like "amateurs" made it at home on their cell phone...

 

[ydahecnot]

For sure, the tattoos. I'm just not into them. Depending on the tattoo and its size I can overlook some of them. But too many and...ugh.

Too many and/or weird piercings.

Gagging and ball gags.

Too much makeup and/or hairspray.

A bad manicure/pedicure. Even on a guy. Saw one where the guy had claws. Not toenails.

Fake anything, including boobs, hair, plastic surgery or orgasms.

Crappy sets.

Dirty dungeons.

Squeaky beds.

No sound.

Weird background noises.

Screechy or whiny voices.

People speaking in foreign languages. I can handle a few words but when one or more of them goes off on a diatribe and I have no clue what they're saying, I dislike it!

Bad acting and cheesy/unbelievable plots. Such as mother/son, brother/sister. Granted, not all are this way and I'm not into incest but I did see a brother/sister one which at least made it appear that they were brother and sister, but the jail let her out wearing the orange suit because she puked on herself? I don't think so.

Too much set up. A half an hour or more of some guy tying the woman up then about 2 minutes or torture and/or sex.

Full face masks. I want to see the person's face!

People that look spaced out. Like they're on drugs.

You have pretty much eliminated all modern porn

 

[MaryanneB]

Fake nails long enough to put a bear to shame. Wtf? Those don't belong on someone let alone up in their netherbits. There's no way that's comfortable and the moans of "pleasure" are terrible.
Hrm... and having a dirty room. Seriously. Amateur porn to professional- don't have piles of clutter tossed about in the background- it destroys the whole fantasy for me.

I'm with this too.
A room filled with dirty clothes and old pop bottles is distracting and gross.

 

[Ade_]

Never been a fan of music being played over a scene.
I like to take in all the natural sounds at play...

Not a dodgy soundtrack...

 

[WiserSoutherner]

Guys who take 20 minutes to cum. Nothing wrong with it, I'm just fuckin' jealous