Who has hook ups from dating apps?

[JAYBE30]

I have buddies that have had some pretty good success, but I have not had much.
it seems weird to me cause I think I'm a pretty attractive guy, but it seems the horny ones aren't drawn to me for some reason lol.

I feel like its cause I put off too much of a friendly or boyfriend vibe.

What's yalls take on it?

PS: if you look at my past posts I think it is pretty apparent that ultimately I would like a good loving passionate relationship, but until I find that girl I would like to at least enjoy some sex.
Trying not to be an obnoxious pig about it though and that might actually be what's hurting me ha. I'm good with both them going home right after or being friendly cuddling all night.

What's a nice, horny, smart ass guy in need of some lovins to do?? hehe

 

[LostGirlTink]

Ugh. Anyone I know runs from the phrase hook up. I don’t know if that’s constructive criticism or not, but my single friends all say the same thing. If he uses the word hook up, just block and delete

 

[JAYBE30]

Ugh. Anyone I know runs from the phrase hook up. I don’t know if that’s constructive criticism or not, but my single friends all say the same thing. If he uses the word hook up, just block and delete

lol, this is funny to me. I don't use this word on the app in bios or conversations though. I just think it's an accurate discription for so called "Flings".

Why is Hook up such a bad word though?

the best for me right now I think would be considered friends with benefits but that seems to sound cheap to women I've talked to as well.

I mean I know everyone is different in a lot of ways and dating is a bit of a numbers game but the this stuff is both interesting to me and a bit frustrating at times because everyone is so judgemental it seems on every little thing you say and they don't seem to have any imagination as to the kind of humor or attitude that might be behind it, at least when its text.

 

[LostGirlTink]

lol, this is funny to me. I don't use this word on the app in bios or conversations though. I just think it's an accurate discription for so called "Flings".

Why is Hook up such a bad word though?

the best for me right now I think would be considered friends with benefits but that seems to sound cheap to women I've talked to as well.

I mean I know everyone is different in a lot of ways and dating is a bit of a numbers game but the this stuff is both interesting to me and a bit frustrating at times because everyone is so judgemental it seems on every little thing you say and they don't seem to have any imagination as to the kind of humor or attitude that might be behind it, at least when its text.

If dating were easy we wouldn’t have romantic comedies.
Or so many financially secure therapists.

 

[ArtisticX]

I'm sure there's been lots, though percentages of steady social media users who had sexual intercourse with someone they met online? My guess... .00001 Way low. Also, just "hooking up" is actually not good sex. It's awkward.

 

[Jada59]

I tend to use the phrase "hook up" when I really mean to meet with someone. This used to be what it meant and in some cases it still does but mostly these days it means to meet for sex. And just sex. Most women are not willing to do that unless perhaps they already know you and even then, a lot of them will want some sort of relationship that involves more than sex.

That being said, IRL, I have the same trouble that you do. Now I would never use a dating app. I did look at one once because my daughter said her dad was on it and I wanted to see what he put in his profile but it would seem that he blocked me. I did look through the other profiles and based solely on the pics and info. in the bios, there wasn't one guy I would even be slightly tempted to meet.

It would seem that most of us here on Lit are here because we love sex. But IRL? I have a hard time finding men who like much less love sex. I even got chastised on Facebook from a guy who didn't like the dirty joke I share. Told me that life wasn't about sex. And he didn't even "get" another dirty joke that I shared.

It would seem that most of the men I find IRL are looking for marriage or at least some kind of romantic relationship where they take me out to dinner and buy me flowers. Meanwhile, I sit back all demure and innocent while baking them chocolate chip cookies and being satisfied with a quick peck on the closed lips once in a while. If I do want sex, they are horrified.

I don't get it. I certainly hope I don't come across like that here. And I don't *think* I come across like that IRL. I get a lot of guys who flirt with me. Especially younger guys. But when I try to take a step further, they will act sort of terrified.

*sigh*

I guess that wasn't any help to you. Unless perhaps to let you know that you are not alone there.

 

[JAYBE30]

I tend to use the phrase "hook up" when I really mean to meet with someone. This used to be what it meant and in some cases it still does but mostly these days it means to meet for sex. And just sex. Most women are not willing to do that unless perhaps they already know you and even then, a lot of them will want some sort of relationship that involves more than sex.

That being said, IRL, I have the same trouble that you do. Now I would never use a dating app. I did look at one once because my daughter said her dad was on it and I wanted to see what he put in his profile but it would seem that he blocked me. I did look through the other profiles and based solely on the pics and info. in the bios, there wasn't one guy I would even be slightly tempted to meet.

It would seem that most of us here on Lit are here because we love sex. But IRL? I have a hard time finding men who like much less love sex. I even got chastised on Facebook from a guy who didn't like the dirty joke I share. Told me that life wasn't about sex. And he didn't even "get" another dirty joke that I shared.

It would seem that most of the men I find IRL are looking for marriage or at least some kind of romantic relationship where they take me out to dinner and buy me flowers. Meanwhile, I sit back all demure and innocent while baking them chocolate chip cookies and being satisfied with a quick peck on the closed lips once in a while. If I do want sex, they are horrified.

I don't get it. I certainly hope I don't come across like that here. And I don't *think* I come across like that IRL. I get a lot of guys who flirt with me. Especially younger guys. But when I try to take a step further, they will act sort of terrified.

*sigh*

I guess that wasn't any help to you. Unless perhaps to let you know that you are not alone there.

This WAS help to me Jada. Thanks for sharing so much. This is the kind of opinions/conversations I'm looking for. Makes me feel a bit better to be reassured I'm not alone.
It is CRAZY to me to hear that guys are like that though. I don't know if I know any. I definitely cannot relate to those guys.
Can we be friends? ha ha

I'm sure there's been lots, though percentages of steady social media users who had sexual intercourse with someone they met online? My guess... .00001 Way low. Also, just "hooking up" is actually not good sex. It's awkward.

He he, so, I've only had One, one-night stand, and I agree, it was much more awkward than sex with my ex-wife ever was, but I guess I have hope that they aren't all that way. I also want to be clear that I would love to find something that is much more than just sex, but until I find the right one that makes me feel that kind of love, I'm fine with basically settling for just sex or friends with benefits.
But in case that sounds cheap, trust me I am a genuine friend and care for ANYone who is a decent person and is receptive to it until they prove not worthy.

If dating were easy we wouldn’t have romantic comedies.
Or so many financially secure therapists.

hahaha

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Early last year I did OKC and Tinder. Tinder I met a few people and...yeah, they weren't great. One was so obviously not ready to get into anything (which is fine, of course, but...ya know, I AM). The other showed up gooned on cough syrup. And I talked to quite a few flakes. And a few other cool people I could never work out the timing with. OKC goes a little more in-depth and you get a much better feel off the bat for who you're dealing with. So there were some good times.

It helped that I spend a good deal of time alone before diving back in. The better part of a year. I needed it. In the previous few years I went through a divorce, a crazy whirlwind dating experience with this total drama magnet (she dumped me and hit me up for money...in the same text message), and another terrible break up. I was a mess and just wrecked. Some of it my fault, some of it putting trust in the wrong people. All because of the bad relationship experiences I had. Letting others wreck me with their bullshit.

Being alone for awhile, no dating, no meeting people, and no expectations of getting laid or meeting anyone was therapeutic and good for me. It allowed myself to recalibrate and find peace. I felt like Batman coming back after he got his back broken Bane. Better and more badass. I found my Zen. This is why monks are so peaceful. No one around to fuck up their shit. I relearned the fact that I need to be complete on my own. It was good for me.

Once I dived back in? Oh yeah. Fun was had. (the redhead in particular...goddamn) The difference this time is that I was a good deal more fortified, had a lot of earned confidence, and knew a good deal of what NOT to do. And also how to spot dysfunction. So I went in and had some fun. And also relearned that a lot of women respond well to confidence. I'm not just some wounded animal. This time I was a guy thst had reasons to feel good about himself. And also a guy with a wonderfully thick boner.



I have no idea if any of this is at all helpful. Wow, can I monolog. I guess what it all comes down to is to have confidence and to just enjoy MEETING people. Be a guy people in general want to hang around with. And good times will come your way.

I definitely understand the "look, I just want to get laid" feeling. And it shall come to you. Just be fun and have a broad scope. If you know what I'm saying. Haha

 

[JAYBE30]

Early last year I did OKC and Tinder. Tinder I met a few people and...yeah, they weren't great. One was so obviously not ready to get into anything (which is fine, of course, but...ya know, I AM). The other showed up gooned on cough syrup. And I talked to quite a few flakes. And a few other cool people I could never work out the timing with. OKC goes a little more in-depth and you get a much better feel off the bat for who you're dealing with. So there were some good times.

It helped that I spend a good deal of time alone before diving back in. The better part of a year. I needed it. In the previous few years I went through a divorce, a crazy whirlwind dating experience with this total drama magnet (she dumped me and hit me up for money...in the same text message), and another terrible break up. I was a mess and just wrecked. Some of it my fault, some of it putting trust in the wrong people. All because of the bad relationship experiences I had. Letting others wreck me with their bullshit.

Being alone for awhile, no dating, no meeting people, and no expectations of getting laid or meeting anyone was therapeutic and good for me. It allowed myself to recalibrate and find peace. I felt like Batman coming back after he got his back broken Bane. Better and more badass. I found my Zen. This is why monks are so peaceful. No one around to fuck up their shit. I relearned the fact that I need to be complete on my own. It was good for me.

Once I dived back in? Oh yeah. Fun was had. (the redhead in particular...goddamn) The difference this time is that I was a good deal more fortified, had a lot of earned confidence, and knew a good deal of what NOT to do. And also how to spot dysfunction. So I went in and had some fun. And also relearned that a lot of women respond well to confidence. I'm not just some wounded animal. This time I was a guy thst had reasons to feel good about himself. And also a guy with a wonderfully thick boner.



I have no idea if any of this is at all helpful. Wow, can I monolog. I guess what it all comes down to is to have confidence and to just enjoy MEETING people. Be a guy people in general want to hang around with. And good times will come your way.

I definitely understand the "look, I just want to get laid" feeling. And it shall come to you. Just be fun and have a broad scope. If you know what I'm saying. Haha

Yeah man! Thanks. Good to hear. I've spent 2 years now single and fine with it with the one exception of one fling last November. I think I got me down pretty good and what you say resonates with me pretty good. I just get into slumps like this thining like "WTF?" is there any sane women out there that just know how to have fun and it not have to have all this other made up mess come with it??" basically like you say just not being ready or are kinda flaky.

I just get into slumps every now and then when I'm just not impressed with what I'm finding and get bored with no one to play with after a while and like to hear other opinions like this to see what resonates with me
Thanks for the input all of you.

 

[JAYBE30]

I was VERY close to having some nice playtime from a women I met on tinder while I was in Hawaii last week, we were both very into each other and feeling the same way about naughty stuff. Set up a date, but then my work schedule changed last minute and messed it up. Ended up just some good flirting and heavy teasing on the phone.
Next best I suppose so I wont complain too much

 

[Pussywillow3]

How is there not a thread on hilarious tinder dates? This is as close as I could find.

 

[DeckardNYC]

I had many nice dates from match, and a few turned into nice sexual relationships. The better, longer relationships were people I meet otherwise.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

How is there not a thread on hilarious tinder dates? This is as close as I could find.

I actually think there may have been at one point. Maybe? Possibly?

 

[beachbaby179]

I actually think there may have been at one point. Maybe? Possibly?

I think there was too. Gotta say, I'm not having a whole lotta success (read:none) with Match.

 

[Shi_One81]

I think there was too. Gotta say, I'm not having a whole lotta success (read:none) with Match.

I met someone via Match before meeting my fiancé. The guy seemed really great. I gave him my number and we talked for hours. He told me he was on Fet, I said I was, too. We decided to meet for drinks. I thought we had a nice time. I was driving home and he texted me saying he was disappointed nothing more happened and he felt like it was a business meeting. I asked if he expected me to blow him in the parking lot. I never heard from him again. Lol

 

[LadyJS]

I met someone via Match before meeting my fiancé. The guy seemed really great. I gave him my number and we talked for hours. He told me he was on Fet, I said I was, too. We decided to meet for drinks. I thought we had a nice time. I was driving home and he texted me saying he was disappointed nothing more happened and he felt like it was a business meeting. I asked if he expected me to blow him in the parking lot. I never heard from him again. Lol

And this has been my experiences with dating sites. The times I've used them in the past few years, I've met a couple of guys, but they've all expected to either fuck or for me to suck them off on the first date. They apparently expected a price to be paid for dinner and the price was either access to my snatch or my lips around their worthless cocks. So I obviously haven't bothered with any of them for over a year. Maybe my loss, but I haven't lost sleep over it.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

why is anybody going out to dinner on the first date

first date should be a drink. 20 minutes top...then split.

why have false expectations.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I always saw the first date as the "make sure they're not crazy/lame" date.

That's not a hard rule, though. I've certainly had "let's wrap up dinner and have desert at my place" first dates. Chemistry is interesting. Sometimes it just takes a little time, then sometimes it's like putting Mentos in Diet Coke.

 

[Deprived_in_AZ]

What's a nice, horny, smart ass guy in need of some lovins to do?? hehe

Road trip to Phoenix duh.

 

[JAYBE30]

Road trip to Phoenix duh.

Haha! Dee! I was actually just near Phoenix! In Scottsdale Dec 1-2 doing a show, and I do have friends there... hmmm?... ;P

I'm with Midwest on the first meet. Dinner is something I do for someone I already know and like to have a nice time with. first meet is just to feel the person out to me.

I honestly feel like I'm too picky for most people on dating sites now. I'm usually disappointed by either how much bigger they are in person than what they look like in their pics, or they are just kinda boring with low energy, aren't even flirting back and don't have much to add to the conversation. Maybe its me but I really don't think so. I have fun conversations with total strangers all the time. I'm a pretty fun guy and have been told i'm very good looking, so idk dating is just kinda weird haha