Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

[barefootgirl69]

Hi bfg,

I’m hurt and I’m sad and part of me wishes I never knew I was a little. I don’t understand why people I love think it is ok to knowingly hurt me and trample on my feelings. I’m not sure what that says about me and how I love but I do know that I deserve to not have my feelings trampled on or ignored. So for now I’m on lock down because I know my self worth and I’ve been a fool for long enough.

I think it says more about them more than anything about you. You are very right, though... you deserve to be treated better than that. I think it's fantastic that you know your self worth!! Sometimes it's hard. We make excuses for all kinds of inappropriate behaviors... so, knowing yourself, you know exactly what you deserve!

Big hugs

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[PuckIt]

Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! ~ Anne Frank.

***leaving behind a pile of vegan lollipops as I wander off in search of something else to Puck up***

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[Angedesoleil]

Hugs Tulip tightly.
I'm proud of you sweetheart. It sucks when you have to stand up for yourself, especially if it is to those you love, and supremely if it is to the man who is supposed to have your best interest at heart. I have a thread somewhere that I had to take down called doormat as a byproduct of approach...no, it isnt a measure or mark of you. It is how much shit we shovel through with a smile on before the hurt becomes an avalanche that we cant outrun.
I love you. I'm proud of you.

 

[Angedesoleil]

Hey y'all.
So, we have talked on occasion about the need to make our Daddy's life better. The need to feel helpful, productive. The need to know we are doing good. We have talked about how important it is to feel like we are not a burden, and help them carry their struggles as much as they carry ours.
I know I could carry mine alone, but I would be much much worse for the wear.

Sometimes life throws us a huge wave, and the best we can do us just stay afloat.

I know in those times I want to be my partner's life jacket, or at the very least their rope. But sometimes they need space to sort it out before they can allow that hand. It's not mine to demand to be *let in* shit, that would be counterproductive. At the same time it scares me ( my own issue) to be kept at arm's length. I think because then I dont feel like I'm doing my job. I'm not helpful. I'm not comforting. I'm not carrying some of the burden. I'm in a way part of the problem. Just one more thing he has to worry about.


Help. When faced with those feelings, or a situation like that I tend to stand still and hope I dont get run over. I feel like I'm playing frogger...and I'm the frog.

This is NO REFLECTION on Daddy. He has got all he can handle. So I need to learn how to handle me in this.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Please, no PMs from any PYL offering to be a *shoulder* ... that is a specific concern of Daddy's. We're good. I dont need a shoulder, and if I do, it'll be his.

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[Angedesoleil]

I'm so proud of you sweety. Please forgive me for being self absorbed.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Hey y'all.
So, we have talked on occasion about the need to make our Daddy's life better. The need to feel helpful, productive. The need to know we are doing good. We have talked about how important it is to feel like we are not a burden, and help them carry their struggles as much as they carry ours.
I know I could carry mine alone, but I would be much much worse for the wear.

Sometimes life throws us a huge wave, and the best we can do us just stay afloat.

I know in those times I want to be my partner's life jacket, or at the very least their rope. But sometimes they need space to sort it out before they can allow that hand. It's not mine to demand to be *let in* shit, that would be counterproductive. At the same time it scares me ( my own issue) to be kept at arm's length. I think because then I dont feel like I'm doing my job. I'm not helpful. I'm not comforting. I'm not carrying some of the burden. I'm in a way part of the problem. Just one more thing he has to worry about.


Help. When faced with those feelings, or a situation like that I tend to stand still and hope I dont get run over. I feel like I'm playing frogger...and I'm the frog.

This is NO REFLECTION on Daddy. He has got all he can handle. So I need to learn how to handle me in this.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Please, no PMs from any PYL offering to be a *shoulder* ... that is a specific concern of Daddy's. We're good. I dont need a shoulder, and if I do, it'll be his.

I'm in a position much like this with my Daddy. I hate being 5000 miles away when I want to be beside him in all of this.

You already know that he has a good reason of keeping distant, which is so much better than not knowing WHY...but, it's still hard. It would still be hard for me, too. Keep reminding yourself that you just need to be there, be the you that he adores, let him know he can come to you..

I'm pm'ing you... so there! *sticks tongue out*

 

[Angedesoleil]

My advice would be to breath really truely breath from your diaphragm this helps to steady your breathing which in turn calms and centrers you. Also I would suggest trying to process that in doing what he needs, in this instance space for him to process what is going on that you are being a comfort, you are supporting and helping him by enabling him to process and organise his thoughts and feelings and in doing that you are being the partner he needs in that specific moment. My advice when you worry about this repeat the above. Perhaps if possible he can provide words is encouragement to how helpful the space your giving him is and then when you do get worried repeat his words and do the breathing.

you have no idea how spot on you are. yes, this is one thing I'm working on with regards to this. <3

 

[SubTulip]

.......

 

[Angedesoleil]

Yeah, it was. I'm sorry that I wasnt here to be your sounding board. Thank you for understanding though. I appreciate you, and your advice.

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[Angedesoleil]

Ditto. Hey, any pyl girls who want in on a non *meow sexy* Christmas shenanigan for the PYLs in our life, please please message me. One way I get myself out of a funk is plotting surprises. So I came up with one!

 

[cascadiabound]

good essay: Submissive Pride

Submissive Pride

Despite a long life of dealing on intimate terms with submissives, I will confess: in some respects, they remain “A mystery, inside a riddle, wrapped in an enigma.” One thing I have given a fair bit of thought to is: what motivates a submissive? What makes them step up and live their submission with such fanatical determination? What causes them to go at their tasks and duties and protocols with such kamikaze intensity? There are the obvious things, of course. Submissives, in my experience, tend to be inherent “people pleasers,” so that is a strong motivator. There is also the soothing, calming peace that passes all understanding that they find in living their submission like they mean it. There is that ineffable devotion to their Dominant, a level of devotion that one sees very rarely among vanilla couples.

But there’s one motivator that doesn’t often get talked about, a motivator that many might find surprising: pride.

It seems counter to the stereotypical image of a submissive as demure, Geisha-like, with downcast eyes and whispered “As you wish, Master.” But pride is a thing with submissives; scratch the surface and you’ll discover that submissives are the proudest people you’ll ever meet. Pride in their ability to please and serve their Dominant; pride in their determination to step up and handle their business; pride in the quiet, understated recognition that “I am one hell of a kick-ass sub!!” Often, a part of that is a competitive streak, and the person they often compete with — and triumph over — is themselves. All in all, submissives are some tough, proud little sumbitches.

Now, what is this ramble in aid of?

Submissives: you are right to feel proud. Of your commitment to your submission, of the effort you bring to the work (and let’s be honest, it often is hard work), and of the hundred and one ways you surpass your former best efforts. But — beware the disease of perfectionism. Your pride can inspire you to push limits and do things you didn’t think possible, but if you find yourself on that endless squirrel wheel where you are obsessively thinking “I can do a little better, I can push a little harder, I can be a little more on point, I can please Him a little more, I can be perfect,” then you need to gear it back and unplug that mindset with the swiftness. Your justifiable feeling of pride can send you down the rabbit hole to burnout and misery. Goal: be the very best submissive you can be. Not: be the perfect submissive.

Dominants: recognize that pride is a big part of what motivates your submissive, even if — especially if — it’s something they don’t articulate. And of course you are proud of them as well; if you’re not, then what the hell are the two of you doing together? So you need to be sure to express your pride in them, in every aspect of their being in which they excel. And even more importantly, you need to give them permission to be proud of themselves. Our society, for any number of reasons (very few of them healthy), tends to quash pride, to privilege modesty and self-effacement. “Pride goeth before a fall,” after all. So you need to let them know “Please be proud of yourself for X, because I am very proud of you.” And when you say it, you damn well better mean it.

found on a tumblr blog I follow and written by someone on the D side of the slash.​

I know I struggle with the disease of perfectionism.
The words I need to hear when I get caught up in the cycle of trying to be *perfect* go something like this:
“You are perfect for me. You are enough. I am proud of you. All I ever require of you is for you to do your best."

I need to know that he is in control. That he gets to decide. That he chooses me for me.... including my flaws and imperfections. That he will love me even when I fail. Even when I am not perfect.
This is one of the greatest gifts he can ever give me.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/c9ab7e4dc2ee0e8af5b0d07afcc543db/tumblr_opi2zsVLIE1qbb77eo1_640.jpg

 

[barefootgirl69]

Submissive Pride

 

[barefootgirl69]

Daddy,

I love you.
I'm not going anywhere... you just hold on tight.

Your princess

 

[PuckIt]

Man! The things I find when I go digging for stuffies.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0b/c9/f9/0bc9f998dba305282c74ea1cec0bf40b.jpg


Who on earth would want that?


Probably the same person that would dig these...


http://images.asos-media.com/inv/media/1/4/7/6/7226741/white/image1xl.jpg



Ah, well. Whatever your fav stuffie, and whatever your choice in footwear, make it a bright and sparkly day for yourselves, littles.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Man! The things I find when I go digging for stuffies.
Who on earth would want that?
Probably the same person that would dig these...

Ah, well. Whatever your fav stuffie, and whatever your choice in footwear, make it a bright and sparkly day for yourselves, littles.

Puck! You always find such interesting things!!!

 

[Angedesoleil]

Thank you cascadia. I think I need to post here soon, but life just keeps, kicking me.

《《《Hugs BFG》》》

https://drive.google.com/file/d/13Wr6EcY2Yo5tCr-T46mbHWrjtWttkH86/view?usp=drivesdk
Cheechee and Precious:
My stuffies make great projectiles. >.> plus they are handheld. Sissy is another story. She is perfect cuddle size.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Thank you cascadia. I think I need to post here soon, but life just keeps, kicking me.

《《《Hugs BFG》》》

https://drive.google.com/file/d/13Wr6EcY2Yo5tCr-T46mbHWrjtWttkH86/view?usp=drivesdk
Cheechee and Precious:
My stuffies make great projectiles. >.> plus they are handheld. Sissy is another story. She is perfect cuddle size.

I have a little stuffie that is great for throwing ... but lately I am throwing pillows on the floor and stomping... you know it's necessary when I can't scream! But, the cuddly ones are definitely needed, too.

 

[cascadiabound]

A Duty of Care

To say that a Daddy has a duty of care to his little is axiomatic - it is literally part and parcel of the role. We are all well-acquainted with the notion that Daddies look after the needs of their little one, up to, and including physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and nutritional. Many Daddies have a harder time coming to terms with their littles taking care of them, although it is an act of devotion and service that cannot be praised enough.

There’s another element that seems to be slightly harder for some Daddies to come to terms with, and that’s the duty of care the Daddy owes to himself. The greater the power exchange within a relationship, the more important it is that the recipient of said power be as strong and reliable as possible. If someone is going to lean on you and depend upon you as a source of strength and security, you have to actually be there. That’s hard to do if you find yourself sick, injured, or dead.

For instance - you owe it to yourself, and to your little, to be as healthy as you can, to exercise and to eat right. Get your flu shot. (my personal soap box this time of year - lol). Also things like taking your safety seriously - wearing your seat belt and not texiting while driving. Daddies need to do everything possible to ensure their safety. In addition, you owe it to your little to avoid placing yourself in any unnecessarily dangerous situations and to be mindful of the things that you commit to. Daddie's belong to littles every bit as much as littles belong to Daddy's. As a Daddy, it is important to consider potential outcomes and to discuss these decisions with your partner/little before agreeing to place yourself into any sort of predicament or making any sort of promises that might put you in harm’s way.

Lastly, it is worth paying attention to your mental health. Perhaps notice your internal dialogue and the way you talk to yourself; the triggers and effects of depression and anxiety. We all need coping strategies in this fast paced and stressful world. Daddies need to ensure they protect themselves and preserve as much energy and sanity as they can for when your little needs you. Do not be afraid to lean on others and to develop your own support system so you can be the best you can be.

Daddies, take care of yourselves the way you’d care for your littles. Be mindful of what you eat, cautious in where you put yourself, and sparing with the commitments you make. Talk to your littles before you agree to anything, and make sure you don’t take any unnecessary risks with your health and safety. As capable and badass as your littles might be, they still depend upon you to be there for them, so make sure that you take the best possible care of yourselves.

 

[Angedesoleil]

I would feel like the world's largest jerk saying anything other than thank you, Cas.
I love you. I may suck sometimes, but I'm trying.

 

[cascadiabound]

I would feel like the world's largest jerk saying anything other than thank you, Cas.
I love you. I may suck sometimes, but I'm trying.

You are welcome. And you DO NOT suck.
I really do not know what you are thanking me for... but I am glad to be of some small help.