I put up with a lot from people, enough so that I didn't even think of the things you said in your example as being disrespectful or rude until you pointed out it was just now.
I'm a people pleaser.
I have a near pathological need to be liked.
I have no idea if any of it is all interconnected or not.
Absolutely. Give me a passionate conversation about any topic. Tell me your deepest fears, your greatest achievements... But don't talk about the fucking weather!
We've had this discussion, mine too.
I put up with a lot from people, enough so that I didn't even think of the things you said in your example as being disrespectful or rude until you pointed out it was just now.
I'm a people pleaser.
I have a near pathological need to be liked.
I have no idea if any of it is all interconnected or not.
you know you love it!
Hmm I think I’m just odd, for the most part I’m not bothered. For me it’s not so much what someone says as to how (tone or specific words used) they say it. I think for me criticism makes my blood boil. Mostly because it’s not helpful, if I am given constructive criticism I thrive on it because I love learning and improving but if someone just says you did this wrong you should of done it like that without any explanation as to why it irks me.
Whilst I like to please people or make them feel good or look good I am rather direct and if I think it is important then I speak up. If I think it is just my pride but no damage is done and it’s not important I let it slide off my back because quite frankly it’s not worth my time or emotions. I think this is a skill I learned as I was a very sensitive girl and young woman and out of necessity I learned to do this.
I’m not sure if this is what led me to this dynamic but I think amongst other things it may have played a part.
)
I should probably put this in my self care thread, but it feels right to put it here...
My guy is awesome therapy. He knows how to push my buttons and help me release all kinds of shit that I couldn't release without the calculated friction he provides. The reason it's so effective is because everything he says is true to some degree. If it wasn't, I would just turn my back thinking, 'well, you're wrong,' and walk away. But instead I stay, and continue the conversation. It's rough, but it's amazing, too.
(And yeah, it's a fiddly thing, and sometimes he goes too far, but that's a post for for another time. So far its been mostly great.
This morning he really hit a nerve. I was complaining about a lack of aftercare - well, care in general - and he told me that I was responsible for my own gas tank. Now this was in play, 'in scene' if you prefer, so I knew he was goading me, and that it was meant to grab my attention, and boy, did it. But I know that his ultimate goal is to help me, not to hurt me, so I'm giving this some serious thought.
When we don't have another topic going going on, can we discuss self care and gas tanks and what we need from our partners and how to navigate where to draw the line? I think this can be an important issue for littles especially, and I'd love to get everyone's feedback.
and is convinced I'll have to settle for someone sub-par and end up doing too much and getting not enough. Again. (Probs why i like the idea of being spoiled a bit)
Yes, you've got it.
The little in me wants to stomp my foot and insist that Daddy do it all.
The cynic in me says Fat chance finding someone to do that, you'll be lucky to find someone who lets you cum first AND knows how to use the Oxford comma.
I think a healthy reality is somewhere in between. But where?
