Was This Too Mean?

[ThatsTheGuy]

I know, darlin'; I know you were utterly polite. I was throwing in my personal opinion. Or are you trying to get me to respond in order to chat with me???
(That was a JOKE.)

Honestly? Of course you didn't ask my opinion, but I'm the chatty one here and I shall give a personal opinion as well. Mind you, I'm not near as chatty as I appear here - but I will tell it like I see it sometimes.

I know little or nothing of Lovecraft68. LC does not strike me as someone to indulge in such things. I've read LC's stories often and became a fan over time.

Consider yourself fortunate you got the 'time of day' from that author. It's more brutal here than the GB. Hopefully, you'll survive here.

Nice gif.

Indeed it is. Speaks volumes w/out words. I prefer the comedy and cool cats. The link was obvious and intentional as well. Glad you like it.

 

[NoJo]

You WERE mean. And intentionally so, I assume, because you assumed that the guy was a jerk and decided to be stand-offish with him. But who knows whether you were right about him or not? It's pretty hard to tell from the few words he wrote you, frankly.

I do exactly what you did, on a daily basis -- so don't think I'm reprimanding you.

 

[lovecraft68]

You WERE mean. And intentionally so, I assume, because you assumed that the guy was a jerk and decided to be stand-offish with him. But who knows whether you were right about him or not? It's pretty hard to tell from the few words he wrote you, frankly.

I do exactly what you did, on a daily basis -- so don't think I'm reprimanding you.

You make a good point about assumptions. Issue is assumptions or generalizations are based on past experience and a certain type repeatedly doing the same thing, so it becomes harder to give the benefit of the doubt.

As an aside, seeing you mentioned it publicly, I'll leave you alone, okay?

 

[Comentarista82]

Mean? Not at all. Hopefully the person fixes the spelling and takes some pride in written English from now on. What you're pointing out is so minor that if the person can't handle it...the person isn't worth the time. Everyone has a certain expectation and if yours is grammar, good you stated that. I would not shy away from stating facts--although that is what the PC movement has tried to snuff out.

 

[Handley_Page]

To me, Literotica is first and foremost a writing site.

Accordingly, I expect the people with whom I interact here to put some effort into writing. Here is a recent exchange of correspondence I had with a man (whose handle I've redacted out of kindness), which started with an unsolicited PM from him:





Was my response too mean, or was it appropriate?

What might you have done?

I think you were probably right

 

[ausfet]

I remain unconvinced that someone who deviates from standard forum fonts is in a position to correct another person's spelling and grammar.

I would have just ignored the PM. As someone else mentioned, they want you to do all the work and give you no impetus to respond. So why respond? And why create a forum post about your response?

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

Mean? Not at all. Hopefully the person fixes the spelling and takes some pride in written English from now on. What you're pointing out is so minor that if the person can't handle it...the person isn't worth the time. Everyone has a certain expectation and if yours is grammar, good you stated that. I would not shy away from stating facts--although that is what the PC movement has tried to snuff out.

PC movement? Could you expand on that?

 

[lovecraft68]

PC movement? Could you expand on that?

Liberalism = acknowledging no facts and slamming anyone that uses them while they spread propaganda about everything like their media idols do.

See, I speak GB.

 

[ElectricBlue]

See, I speak GB.

Let's not drag this thread there, though. Please don't.

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

Let's not drag this thread there, though. Please don't.

http://www.funnycatsite.com/pictures/Hmmmm.jpg

 

[Bramblethorn]

PC movement? Could you expand on that?

This browser extension should clear things up.

 

[ChloeTzang]

To me, Literotica is first and foremost a writing site.

Accordingly, I expect the people with whom I interact here to put some effort into writing. Here is a recent exchange of correspondence I had with a man (whose handle I've redacted out of kindness), which started with an unsolicited PM from him:
Was my response too mean, or was it appropriate?

What might you have done?

Well, that depends what you intended. I'd expect authors to have a certain level of literacy, but readers, no, so personally I think that response was a bit on the cruel side, especially after it was continued over a few pm's. Me, if I'd wanted to cut it off I'd have said so without getting personal. No percentage in hurting someone when they're genuinely interested for whatever reason. If not interested, just say so.

Me, I'm very clear in my profile about what I'm interested in chatting about. If it's not on topic there's a one pm response from me saying not interested and why and that's it. Ditto emails. I usually respond based on the content, but if it gets out of line I say so right away.

Literacy or not doesn't bother me at all, it's the content. A lot of readers here like the stories but the aren't necessarily great writers themselves but they like to ask questions or provide feedback and I'm good with that. A lot of them are really interesting and there's some great experience out there to draw on when writing.

Anyhow, that's just me. I just don't like cutting people off at the knees for something as inconsequential as poor grammar in a message. A clip of jerking off, now that I will cut off at the ... a bit higher than the knees

The sad thing is, 14 percent of adult Americans demonstrated a “below basic” literacy level and 29 percent exhibited a “basic” reading level. So odds on are, there's a good chance a good few of our readers have very basic literacy skills, which doesn't stop them enjoying our stories. Something to keep in mind.

 

[Jada59]

You said pretty much what I would have said. I just read a personal ad that was so badly written and had the wrong spelling of words that it made me shudder.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I used to be really, really fussy about other people's spelling and grammar. I assumed that people who couldn't spell were stupid or lazy.

Then I became friends with a dyslexic guy. Through that friendship I came to understand that spelling isn't a reliable indicator of intelligence, and that unsolicited nitpicking wasn't helpful or kind, so I stopped.

Later on, I encountered the idea of a shibboleth and started thinking about why some variants of English are generally accepted and others are not. The answers to that question gave me all the more reason to cut down on policing other people's English. These days I only do it if somebody asks for critique (flaming other people's spelling counts as "asking for it" ;-) or when I genuinely can't understand what they're saying.

 

[Jmanchu]

To me, it just sounded like the guy has no game. So he tried to pick you up in a website dedicated to writing, then you turned him down in a fairly amusing and snarky way(nice grammar troll). Sounds like he got what he deserved. :|

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Honestly? Of course you didn't ask my opinion, but I'm the chatty one here and I shall give a personal opinion as well. Mind you, I'm not near as chatty as I appear here - but I will tell it like I see it sometimes.

I know little or nothing of Lovecraft68. LC does not strike me as someone to indulge in such things. I've read LC's stories often and became a fan over time.

Consider yourself fortunate you got the 'time of day' from that author. It's more brutal here than the GB. Hopefully, you'll survive here.


Indeed it is. Speaks volumes w/out words. I prefer the comedy and cool cats. The link was obvious and intentional as well. Glad you like it.

You act like LC is the egyptian god of writing and a single sentance from him is a blessing. He's an active poster and it isn't hard to get him to respond to something, otherwise his post coun't wouldn't be that high. By his knowledge on writing(all I really know of him), he's a cool dude. The only thing brutal(read hilarious) is his arguments with Pilot. Other than being site owner; Laural isn't even put on that high a pedestal, hell... I've seen people be outright rude to her and get away with it.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

PC movement? Could you expand on that?

Political Correctness. Silencing people with an opinion that is deemed offensive and goes against imposed social normative order, so people don't get their feelings hurt, or beliefs stomped on, whether it be from fact or opinion. The kinda people that eat unbuttered toast for breakfast and think mayo is too spicy.

 

[ChloeTzang]

... I just read a personal ad that was so badly written and had the wrong spelling of words that it made me shudder.

But then you look at those and think of the desperation and loneliness and need that drives someone to put an ad like that in the personals and it's both rather sad and an indicator that societally something is broken in our sense of community. On the other hand you have apps like Tinder which do the same thing so I don't know, I just can't bring myself to be cruel to anyone whose desperate enough for social contact to reach out like that.

 

[lovecraft68]

You said pretty much what I would have said. I just read a personal ad that was so badly written and had the wrong spelling of words that it made me shudder.

My wife's best friend showed us a picture a guy sent her through some dating site she's on. It was of his back which has the word motherfucker tattooed across it.

Underneath he has a naked woman on her knees with the devil behind her.


Its scary out there.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

Thank you all for your thoughts, ideas and suggestions!

I appreciate it.

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

Political Correctness. Silencing people with an opinion that is deemed offensive and goes against imposed social normative order, so people don't get their feelings hurt, or beliefs stomped on, whether it be from fact or opinion. The kinda people that eat unbuttered toast for breakfast and think mayo is too spicy.

Got it. I've never been politically correct. Any attempts at doing so has exactly the opposite affect intended. I sometimes get offended by an opposing opinion. However, I'd rather hear the opinion than for it to be stifled, then present itself later in an impromptu situation. Honest opinions are far more valued than one never voiced at all. Perhaps the style of delivery of an opinion is what's most important.

 

[ChloeTzang]

My wife's best friend showed us a picture a guy sent her through some dating site she's on. It was of his back which has the word motherfucker tattooed across it.

Underneath he has a naked woman on her knees with the devil behind her.

Its scary out there.

It is, which is why I'm rather paranoid about personal information and online security. Especially writing here and inspiring these fantasies. I've already had two stories written about me by someone else - he did ask for permission first and run them by me before posting - but it does instill a certain amount of paranoia coz all it takes is that one crazy. I'm nice but I have lines and I'm very up front about them because I don't want anyone to feel misled. So far, no problems..... and I have to say everyone I correspond with from Literotica has been great.

 

[KCWinter]

I wouldn't say it was mean. To be honest, I think you were nicer than I would have been. At least you answered him. I try not to be horribly rigid on grammar, etc., and to make allowances for English possibly not being a first language. At the same time, I'm not inclined to have a one-on-one conversation with someone if I have to read their messages two or three times to understand them because they haven't used any punctuation or capitals, and/or have a lot of misspellings or incorrect word choices.

Text speak irks me. To some extent, it is a generational thing to some extent, but on the other hand, my 22-year-old and 19-year-old offspring are equally irked by it, and in their own texts use standard spelling and grammar. So do all of their friends with whom I've had any text-based communication.

So maybe I am a curmudgeonly bitch about it... I just like to be able to read the messages people send me and get a sense of whether they'll be able to actually carry on a conversation.

Edited to add: Someone upthread mentioned dyslexia, and that's a valid point and one of the things I try to make allowances for. (One of my partners has dyslexia.) So thinking about it, I don't only judge by spelling, grammar, etc., but also by the content of the message.

 

[DawnODay]

Sweetie, I don't think you have a mean bone in your body.

You were just holding him to an appropriate standard for a writing site.

 

[vibes]

To me, Literotica is first and foremost a writing site.

Accordingly, I expect the people with whom I interact here to put some effort into writing. Here is a recent exchange of correspondence I had with a man (whose handle I've redacted out of kindness), which started with an unsolicited PM from him:





Was my response too mean, or was it appropriate?

What might you have done?

I didn't even think one would be entitled to an answer with that starting one-liner