Question mark mid-sentence?

[tomlitilia]

Alright, another one for you grammar experts... Would this sentence make you flinch (for grammatic reasons)?
"Sure, she had imagined herself with other men after marrying -- what woman doesn’t sometimes? -- but she’d never thought it would become more than a fantasy."

The double dash is meant to be Em-dash.

 

[littlecordelera]

In my opinion, writing is art, and in art, rules are merely a suggestion. I have no problem with the sentence. It flows just fine, and it conveys its mood.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Works ok for me, I've used the same construction - but without the em-dash (coz I've never used an em-dash in my life).

 

[SusanJillParker]

A matter of writing style, in my opinion, you're good to go.

 

[tomlitilia]

Works ok for me, I've used the same construction - but without the em-dash (coz I've never used an em-dash in my life).

What would you use instead?

 

[Gentleman_G]

The dash is pretty much used for these kind of sentences, so you should consider it as a standalone sentence where you can do pretty much whatever you want. One could also use ( ) instead, if that clarifies things for you.

 

[tomlitilia]

The dash is pretty much used for these kind of sentences, so you should consider it as a standalone sentence where you can do pretty much whatever you want. One could also use ( ) instead, if that clarifies things for you.

Parenthesis doesn't work for me in fiction. It reads to me like a side conversation that breaks the flow rather than a side note part of the prose.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Alright, another one for you grammar experts... Would this sentence make you flinch (for grammatic reasons)?
"Sure, she had imagined herself with other men after marrying -- what woman doesn’t sometimes? -- but she’d never thought it would become more than a fantasy."

The double dash is meant to be Em-dash.

If the whole story is written in that sort of conversational tone, I think it works just fine.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I'd go with the parentheses myself, but as just about everybody here seems to agree, style is a matter of personal preference.

My English teacher in school would have screamed if I'd handed in a 400+-word sentence. Yet Hemingway, famous for his run-on, won a Nobel prize for literature.

If it works - if it works for you the writer - it's fine.

 

[HisArpy]

The way it's written is fine. IF you feel like changing it, use commas instead of dashes, and drop the Q-mark.

 

[electric1]

No problem. It's a parenthetical, and they're often complete sentences in themselves. Some would use parentheses, but I like the dashes in this case. Dashes emphasize where parentheses whisper, and here I think you're trying to convey some excitement. Stick with the em dashes.

 

[SimonDoom]

I think it's just right as you wrote it. Dashes are more appropriate here than parentheses, because the clause set off isn't really explanatory or qualifying. You wouldn't want to have too many sentences of this sort because your writing would become herky-jerky, but occasional use is fine.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I always an ellipses ... to separate thoughts and speech. I hate em dashes.

 

[Gentleman_G]

Parenthesis doesn't work for me in fiction. It reads to me like a side conversation that breaks the flow rather than a side note part of the prose.

I agree with that. It`s one of the reasons why I use the dash instead, it simply feels better when writing and reading.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What would you use instead?

A short dash like this - I don't know or care what it's called, but it's not an em-dash, which has a different typographical spacing (according to Pilot - who loves an em-dash).

It might be an Australian convention, I don't know, but short dashes are commonly used here. I won't say always used because that might not be true, but with Word almost universal in business it's what I see every day.

 

[Handley_Page]

En dash -- The Punctuation Guide
www.thepunctuationguide.com/en-dash.html

En dash.
The en dash (–) is slightly wider than the hyphen (-) but narrower than the em dash (—).
The typical computer keyboard lacks a dedicated key for the en dash, though most word processors provide a means for its insertion.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Dashes emphasize where parentheses whisper.

A perfect description of the subtlety between the two forms of punctuation - exactly how I use them... and an ellipsis is a pause (whilst we're on the subject of interruptions to a smooth flow).