Using Multiple Viewpoint For Menage Story

[KelvinBlack]

Hi All. I'm a newbie to the group, so please forgive any errors or hiccups along the way! I have a question about using multiple viewpoints when writing a menage story...

I had an idea and am starting to test it out. As each 'scene' in the story changes, the viewpoint switches to one of the three characters involved - the wife, the husband, the lover. The tale starts from the POV of the wife and ends up there as well at the conclusion of the story.

My question is, has anybody else tried this method when writing their erotica? What is everyone's preferred POV to use when writing such tales?

TIA - Regards - K.B.

 

[NotWise]

Hi All. I'm a newbie to the group, so please forgive any errors or hiccups along the way! I have a question about using multiple viewpoints when writing a menage story...

I had an idea and am starting to test it out. As each 'scene' in the story changes, the viewpoint switches to one of the three characters involved - the wife, the husband, the lover. The tale starts from the POV of the wife and ends up there as well at the conclusion of the story.

My question is, has anybody else tried this method when writing their erotica? What is everyone's preferred POV to use when writing such tales?

TIA - Regards - K.B.

The one time I've tried this the story was told in third person, but a rather unusual third person. The story was told by two people who each clearly remember only a part of the story.

I can't really recommend that approach because it made the story very dense, but I think you can be creative in how the story is told as long as the story remains clear.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I would use a close omniscient third person narrator, who gets into one head at a time.

Don't hop pov too frequently. That gets very confusing very fast. And make it very clear when the pov changes, so readers can keep up.

 

[My I]

Hi All. I'm a newbie to the group, so please forgive any errors or hiccups along the way! I have a question about using multiple viewpoints when writing a menage story...

I had an idea and am starting to test it out. As each 'scene' in the story changes, the viewpoint switches to one of the three characters involved - the wife, the husband, the lover. The tale starts from the POV of the wife and ends up there as well at the conclusion of the story.

My question is, has anybody else tried this method when writing their erotica? What is everyone's preferred POV to use when writing such tales?

TIA - Regards - K.B.

I wrote Tryst of Fate first person from 3 different viewpoints, but didn't interlace them. It was told basically the same story from two separate viewpoints one after the other with a third view after that ties the other two together with a twist.

I don't think it would have worked as well trying to mix the viewpoints on the fly but you may be a better writer than me and might pull it off.

I did a pair of Literotica Olympics stories (no longer posted here) that were done from the TV perspective. (Sorry. best way I can describe it) There was almost no separate descriptive of what was going on. The scene relied entirely on the dialogue of the three commentators, reporters on the field, the "athletes" and a few other characters for color. I didn't even use speech tags. You identified who was speaking by the way they did so and their actions. I thought it would end up being confusing but many told me it was easy to follow.

You might try writing your story that way. Letting the characters talking to each other be the basis of the action. Something like:

"That's it, Bobby, fuck Lisa's ass. Fuck her hard."

"Yeah, Bobby, give it to me hard. And why aren't you squeezing my tits, Sam?"

"'Cause she's busy with my balls, that's why. GOD she's tight."

"Well don't come too soon, Big Boy, Mama wants a piece of that too."

And so on.

 

[RetroFan]

Multiple view points can work well, but exercise caution as there is always the danger of too much repetition of the same information and losing your readers' interest.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Tried it once with two people's experience of the same incident, flip-flopping back and forth. Not the best, but it was well-enough received. I certainly agree that it needs to be very carefully crafted if the audience is not to become lost or confused. The instant that happens, they're gone.

 

[Weird Harold]

Don't hop pov too frequently. That gets very confusing very fast. And make it very clear when the pov changes, so readers can keep up.

I can't recommend head-hopping. It can be done, but it's difficult and keeping things straight is going to take a lot of exposition.

On the other hand, a single, first-person POV with a little deliberate confusion works well for a group-sex scene. The reader shouldn't be more confused than the POV character, but a single POV character is not going to be able to keep track of what is going on; even if they are a dispassionate observer instead of a participant.

IMHO, where many group-sex scenes fail is in trying to cover all of the action in detail. Don't try to be a choreographer, just report the general sense of what is going on.

 

[NotWise]

I had an idea and am starting to test it out. As each 'scene' in the story changes, the viewpoint switches to one of the three characters involved - the wife, the husband, the lover. The tale starts from the POV of the wife and ends up there as well at the conclusion of the story.

You've been given some useful advice about writing a three-way sex scene, but it sounds to me like you're talking about a longer relationship. I guess that depends on what you're thinking of as a "story."

If you're talking about a longer story, then I think it could be interesting to develop the whole thing from three different viewpoints and bringing it together at the end. It could be challenging to write. It might not be a stroker if that's what you want.

 

[Voboy]

It’s been done many times here, and it’s hard to do well. So hard, in fact, that I immediately click “back” once I realize a story is written that way.

In my opinion, there are other ways to do what you want to do. All of them are better than changing the POV. I think of that as an easy out. So use this opportunity to challenge yourself by writing a multi-POV story while maintaining a consistent narrator.

 

[KindofHere]

.................

 

[ElectricBlue]

It’s been done many times here, and it’s hard to do well. So hard, in fact, that I immediately click “back” once I realize a story is written that way.

In my opinion, there are other ways to do what you want to do. All of them are better than changing the POV. I think of that as an easy out. So use this opportunity to challenge yourself by writing a multi-POV story while maintaining a consistent narrator.

Interesting, such a quick dismissal attitude, especially as I just received this (extract from a much longer) comment just the other day, for a story where I did exactly what you dismiss as an easy way out. I used close omniscient third person, with clearly delineated his/her point of view sections.

I've always been partial to first person narration for conveying the intimate details of a character's inner life. But this story wonderfully shows how third person narration can be used to convey the inner activity of two characters, even during the intricate steps of their dance. We see the evening not as we would see it in real life---where we know our own feelings but can only guess at our partner's---but privy to both sides, able to see the uncertainty and hopefulness and playfulness and arousal on both sides as flirtation turns to courtship and courtship turns to foreplay. It's two intimate stories, really, interwoven at every scene. A tour-de-force of patient, loving, doubly imagined detail.

So it can be done, and if the reception this story received is to be believed - including the comment above - done well.

 

[Voboy]

I’m not suggesting I’m necessarily wise to be so dismissive. I’ll bet I’m missing some good stuff. But I’ve got yet to read a multi-POV story without responding negatively. I just find it distracting, even if it’s well-delineated.

I really do think that the OP is in a dilemma, a dilemma many of us have found ourselves in. Personally, I enjoy the challenge of working myself out of those kinds of situations while keeping myself to the [usually first person] perspective I’ve chosen.

 

[NotWise]

I’m not suggesting I’m necessarily wise to be so dismissive. I’ll bet I’m missing some good stuff. But I’ve got yet to read a multi-POV story without responding negatively. I just find it distracting, even if it’s well-delineated

I wrote a series of four stories back around the holidays that were written in third person limited. It was from the woman's point of view, but when I got into the sex scenes I switched to whoever was taking the initiative at the time. I was worried about that, and then I wasn't.

Maybe I hadn't really thought about it before, but I suspect that I've made those switches before without thinking about it.

 

[clistenovena]

I had an idea and am starting to test it out. As each 'scene' in the story changes, the viewpoint switches to one of the three characters involved - the wife, the husband, the lover. The tale starts from the POV of the wife and ends up there as well at the conclusion of the story.

My question is, has anybody else tried this method when writing their erotica? What is everyone's preferred POV to use when writing such tales?

Like many that know more than me have said, as a writer and reader, this is a tough one. Just having read a story like this...I should say tried reading one like this, it's tough to pull off without everything becoming jumbled. The one I speak of at least divided up the POV by chapter, but it was still a difficult read all around. Decent enough writing, just not the way it was put together.

I can't imagine trying to write a story this way. Unless you wrote the entire story from one character's viewpoint, then wrote the story again from another character, and so on.

Good luck in your writing!

 

[Hypoxia]

I don't see a problem so long as WHO is the focus at any point is very clear. I wrote one well-received set of overlapping 1-LIT-page episodes from 1st-person POVs of all players -- each started where the previous ended. One well-liked story had distinct sections of 1st or 3rd-limited takes from different POVs.

You can get away with a lot if you don't confuse the reader. Be clear.

 

[NoJo]

I've done that. The only reason for writing a story this way, in my opinion, is to show what I call "poly-subjectivity" -- I.e. how the same events can produce radically different stories when told from different viewpoints, leading to a sort of holographic view of the true events.

I was really influenced when I started writing by Bob Sheckley, whose brilliant and hilarious short story "Pas de Trois of the Chef and the Waiter and the Customer" told the same tale three times, from three viewpoints, all misguided.

Kurasawa's 1950 movie "Rashomon" is a fantastic example of a poly-subjective narrative.

 

[lovecraft68]

All I know about group sex is if you have an all girl scene you are in for a serious headache...she...which she? Her...which her? Who's tongue? Who's finger, which pussy? Who's moaning?

 

[SimonDoom]

Sure, you can do this. Many stories offer multiple points of view. A good recent example is the Game of Thrones books. POV switches from chapter to chapter. Each chapter is third person limited omniscient but from the POV of a different character. You just have to be careful to make each POV distinct and clear. As long as you do that, I see no reason you can't write the story from multiple POVs.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Actually, I have done this a lot...

Check out my Justice for Julie series...not so much in the first part, but in the second part there are a lot more changes.

 

[jehoram]

It can be done. Write it both ways and see which one scans better. Remember that the reader has to be clear on who's telling the story at each point. A friend of mine tried to do that in a novel, using two different typefaces for the two characters, but the publisher ended up using two fonts that were so similar that they ended up defeating the purpose. I'm mentioning this because there are a lot of people who read these stories on devices that don't accommodate different type faces, so I wouldn't go in that direction.

The only time I've done something similar was with my story "Bigfoot and the Wood Nymph." But I cheated and made the two vantage points into two separate stories.

 

[Bray123]

I did that, using italics to indicate the change of POV. The story was well established before the first change.

It achieved a red H, so wasn't badly received.


https://www.literotica.com/s/shipwrecked-a-need-to-survive

 

[clistenovena]

You can get away with a lot if you don't confuse the reader. Be clear.

^ This!!

 

[Athalia]

I've written stories like this, and separated the two strands of the story with a row of asterisks

*********************

But there were only two shifts in the story, from one vantage point to the other, and then back again.