Clues on how to find out other bi or Bicurious men?

[bikurinpa]

I wonder if some on here may have experience on how to figure out or find out if a regular friend or buddy that you are around all the time to figure out any clues to look for or how to lay a clue to find out if he also may have thoughts about same sex with out being too obvious and out myself.
Any thoughts or ideas posted would be appreciated.

 

[Samsacks]

I'd sure like to know. I post on Squirt and Silverdaddies, and have had some success, but there's a guy in my circle of friends that I would just love to have fuck me silly.

I wonder if some on here may have experience on how to figure out or find out if a regular friend or buddy that you are around all the time to figure out any clues to look for or how to lay a clue to find out if he also may have thoughts about same sex with out being too obvious and out myself.
Any thoughts or ideas posted would be appreciated.

 

[satyr82000]

I have struggled with this myself...I have a buddy that seems really cool. I have led the occasional conversation toward sexuality in general...nothing directly same sex, but he is open to talk about stroking and what he likes. I am still not sure whether he is into it but the fact that he is open talk about stuff is encouraging...

 

[bikurinpa]

I'd sure like to know. I post on Squirt and Silverdaddies, and have had some success, but there's a guy in my circle of friends that I would just love to have fuck me silly.

Those sites would be easier for obvious reasons that they are on them too! Here in my area I was unsuccessful with them because most just wanted only right NOW sex with any one willing to drop their pants or just guys who had age hang ups or was picture collectors and gamers.
That why I resorting to trying to figure out my every day buddies but it not easy, dont know how to "read signs" they may give or know how to lay a clue for them without being too obvious.

 

[yukonnights]

I have struggled with this myself...I have a buddy that seems really cool. I have led the occasional conversation toward sexuality in general...nothing directly same sex, but he is open to talk about stroking and what he likes. I am still not sure whether he is into it but the fact that he is open talk about stuff is encouraging...

Those sites would be easier for obvious reasons that they are on them too! Here in my area I was unsuccessful with them because most just wanted only right NOW sex with any one willing to drop their pants or just guys who had age hang ups or was picture collectors and gamers.
That why I resorting to trying to figure out my every day buddies but it not easy, dont know how to "read signs" they may give or know how to lay a clue for them without being too obvious.

I think it is important to first strategically set the stage by making them comfortable with my own stance on LGBTQ issues. When I say "strategic", I'm implying as in an everyday kind of casual conversation, and not some forced effort to bring up the issue. But when opinions/comments get shared around, make it clear that I'm of the opinion that LGBTQ people are valid and that it's not just some kind of fetish or perversion or sin, etc.

By doing this, I allow them the free space to either agree or reject that philosophy. Obviously, if they reject it, either they are not interested/informed or they are still too deep in their own fear and denial. In either case, you can mark them off the list of potential "special friends". In general, it means I have to be a little more open about my own beliefs in regard to LGBTQ people...but it sorta goes both ways, I want to know about them, and they need to know I'm not totally shutdown on LGBTQ people at the same time.

Like I said; Strategic conversations that neither "out you" nor press him too hard. But I totally 100% agree with the belief that it would be so much more natural and successful to explore oneself with a trusted friend!!!

 

[tmmmbrrr]

.....

 

[coati]

That why I resorting to trying to figure out my every day buddies but it not easy, dont know how to "read signs" they may give or know how to lay a clue for them without being too obvious.

I hear what you are asking. Here are some of the cues I have observed. They are very similar to those of women who are interested in possible sexual contact.

Several times when I was in camping or hiking situations, I would run into a guy who really wanted to engage in conversation, and often with a lot of eye contact. There would be a sense of trying to keep the conversation alive, or lingering past the time when a normal guy conversation would end with a comment like, "Well, I'd better get going."

Many bi curious men miss this cue, and actually they get uncomfortable with other men who want to talk. My suggestion is to go with the conversation, particularly with a guy you find interesting, and help steer it toward more meaningful topics than just the weather or what type of vehicle you like to drive. Try to find out what is happening in their life.

Talking about relationships is often a short cut to talking about sex. A bi sexual guy will generally tell you if he is interested, but a bi curious guy will probably beat around the bush forever. With the latter, you may have to ask if he is happy with his relationship status as a way to try to get him to indicate his interests. If a guy you find interesting opens the door to talking about some sort of physical contact, let him know you are interested, and start talking about safe sex.

Another cue is a guy who touches you in an overt way or in a subtle way. I have experienced both. If someone interesting touches me overtly, I do not pull away. I meet his contact and steer it toward safe intimate contact. If a guy touches me in a subtle way, I give him positive feedback by smiling, returning a hug, or touching back, depending on the situation, and continue with steering the conversation toward something meaningful such as our relationship status.

Finally, I have met shy guys who either fixed a gaze on me or who seem to keep running into me because they appeared to have some interest in talking with me. If I am interested, I make them feel welcomed and start a conversation that eventually leads to what they look for in a relationship.

A lot of guys are really inhibited about talking, so I practice doing conversations with all sorts of people, just for the experience of being a good conversationalist. Then, if I meet someone I am interested in, I have a higher likelihood of getting them to talk about what is on their mind. Conversation is a developed skill.

 

[yukonnights]

coati.....^^^ good stuff !

 

[WerdNerd]

I hear what you are asking. Here are some of the cues I have observed. They are very similar to those of women who are interested in possible sexual contact.

Several times when I was in camping or hiking situations, I would run into a guy who really wanted to engage in conversation, and often with a lot of eye contact. There would be a sense of trying to keep the conversation alive, or lingering past the time when a normal guy conversation would end with a comment like, "Well, I'd better get going."

Many bi curious men miss this cue, and actually they get uncomfortable with other men who want to talk. My suggestion is to go with the conversation, particularly with a guy you find interesting, and help steer it toward more meaningful topics than just the weather or what type of vehicle you like to drive. Try to find out what is happening in their life.

Talking about relationships is often a short cut to talking about sex. A bi sexual guy will generally tell you if he is interested, but a bi curious guy will probably beat around the bush forever. With the latter, you may have to ask if he is happy with his relationship status as a way to try to get him to indicate his interests. If a guy you find interesting opens the door to talking about some sort of physical contact, let him know you are interested, and start talking about safe sex.

Another cue is a guy who touches you in an overt way or in a subtle way. I have experienced both. If someone interesting touches me overtly, I do not pull away. I meet his contact and steer it toward safe intimate contact. If a guy touches me in a subtle way, I give him positive feedback by smiling, returning a hug, or touching back, depending on the situation, and continue with steering the conversation toward something meaningful such as our relationship status.

Finally, I have met shy guys who either fixed a gaze on me or who seem to keep running into me because they appeared to have some interest in talking with me. If I am interested, I make them feel welcomed and start a conversation that eventually leads to what they look for in a relationship.

A lot of guys are really inhibited about talking, so I practice doing conversations with all sorts of people, just for the experience of being a good conversationalist. Then, if I meet someone I am interested in, I have a higher likelihood of getting them to talk about what is on their mind. Conversation is a developed skill.

Great advice. Thaml you Coati.

 

[SissySalina]

I wonder if some on here may have experience on how to figure out or find out if a regular friend or buddy that you are around all the time to figure out any clues to look for or how to lay a clue to find out if he also may have thoughts about same sex with out being too obvious and out myself.
Any thoughts or ideas posted would be appreciated.

sissy is confused, you say "regular friend or buddy" and if that is so then you should have had some type of conversation concerning sex or at least about who the person likes or dislikes.
While coati's advice is good, as a regular friend you should have some discussion such as satyr82000 has had.

 

[bikurinpa]

I hear what you are asking. Here are some of the cues I have observed. They are very similar to those of women who are interested in possible sexual contact.

Several times when I was in camping or hiking situations, I would run into a guy who really wanted to engage in conversation, and often with a lot of eye contact. There would be a sense of trying to keep the conversation alive, or lingering past the time when a normal guy conversation would end with a comment like, "Well, I'd better get going."

Many bi curious men miss this cue, and actually they get uncomfortable with other men who want to talk. My suggestion is to go with the conversation, particularly with a guy you find interesting, and help steer it toward more meaningful topics than just the weather or what type of vehicle you like to drive. Try to find out what is happening in their life.

Talking about relationships is often a short cut to talking about sex. A bi sexual guy will generally tell you if he is interested, but a bi curious guy will probably beat around the bush forever. With the latter, you may have to ask if he is happy with his relationship status as a way to try to get him to indicate his interests. If a guy you find interesting opens the door to talking about some sort of physical contact, let him know you are interested, and start talking about safe sex.

Another cue is a guy who touches you in an overt way or in a subtle way. I have experienced both. If someone interesting touches me overtly, I do not pull away. I meet his contact and steer it toward safe intimate contact. If a guy touches me in a subtle way, I give him positive feedback by smiling, returning a hug, or touching back, depending on the situation, and continue with steering the conversation toward something meaningful such as our relationship status.

Finally, I have met shy guys who either fixed a gaze on me or who seem to keep running into me because they appeared to have some interest in talking with me. If I am interested, I make them feel welcomed and start a conversation that eventually leads to what they look for in a relationship.

A lot of guys are really inhibited about talking, so I practice doing conversations with all sorts of people, just for the experience of being a good conversationalist. Then, if I meet someone I am interested in, I have a higher likelihood of getting them to talk about what is on their mind. Conversation is a developed skill.

This is probably a good idea here to pick up on guys. I have never really had a guy tough me in a way that would send a clue. I guess it would probably be a true sign if he touched me on the upper leg and not a back pat or shoulder pat.