How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[rocket_surgery]

Here's the detailed account: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgsFCyD4nEw

I had that cassette when I was a kid. Listened to it countless times.

 

[phrodeau]

I think I answered this before but I can't find it.

First he sailed around for a year and didn't crash!

Second he was pretty smart and sent out a raven who never came back. Raven's can live off of dead animal and human remains. He then sent out a dove. Now doves eat only seeds, wild grasses, weeds, herbs, grasses, and occasionally berries. Things that would not have made it with the flooding. The dove had no other place to feed.

He knew in the context of the world that he knew that the world as he knew it was gone. (say that 8 times fast)

God told him and prepared him just right for the flood and what happened. Why would he doubt that God did what he said he would do.

Noah was pushing 600. Do you think he had all his marbles?

There are some real doozies in Noah's story after the flood.

 

[Tryharder62]

In the movie Noah had angels helping him out and God made a forest of gopher wood pop up in seconds. Wonder if that really happened or if Noah and clan had to do all the heavy lifting themselves.

Interesting to ponder.

Noah was pushing 600. Do you think he had all his marbles?

There are some real doozies in Noah's story after the flood.

Well he was 500 before he started having kids so some parts were working.

Tell me a doozie!!!

 

[Tryharder62]

Here's the detailed account: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgsFCyD4nEw

Makes me sad.

 

[phrodeau]

Interesting to ponder.



Well he was 500 before he started having kids so some parts were working.

Tell me a doozie!!!

Genesis 9:20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

Whoa, Noah got so drunk that his clothes fell off. Does that ever happen to you? Why would Noah get naked, just because he got drunk?

Genesis 9:22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

Noah knew? How did he know? Did Noah know that he was previously naked? Did Noah realize that Ham saw him at the time? How drunk could he have been?

Genesis 9:25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

So Noah throws down a curse on his toddler* grandson for his own drunken exhibitionism, and his grandson didn't have anything to do with it.

* The Book of Jubilees says that Ham had four sons, Canaan being the youngest. It also says that the Curse of Canaan occurred five years after the ark landed. The 1st Epistle of Peter 3:20 says that only eight souls were saved in Noah's ark, presumably Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives. If Ham's children only came after the landing, Canaan could not have been more than two and a half years old at the time.

 

[EternalFantasies]

Makes me sad.

He had his demons like everyone. Celeb with money made it come back haunting.

 

[Hard_Rom]

Genesis 9:20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

Whoa, Noah got so drunk that his clothes fell off. Does that ever happen to you? Why would Noah get naked, just because he got drunk?

Genesis 9:22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

Noah knew? How did he know? Did Noah know that he was previously naked? Did Noah realize that Ham saw him at the time? How drunk could he have been?

Genesis 9:25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

So Noah throws down a curse on his toddler* grandson for his own drunken exhibitionism, and his grandson didn't have anything to do with it.

* The Book of Jubilees says that Ham had four sons, Canaan being the youngest. It also says that the Curse of Canaan occurred five years after the ark landed. The 1st Epistle of Peter 3:20 says that only eight souls were saved in Noah's ark, presumably Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives. If Ham's children only came after the landing, Canaan could not have been more than two and a half years old at the time.

Perfect example that the Old Testament is just an oral history of the Judeans. Religious justification for the subjugation of the neighbouring Canaanites. And not a reasoning for saying blacks are the sons of Ham. Notice how the OT was a tad condescending to the people of Samaria too.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Give him three days and he'll make it happen.

No he won't. He performs tricks, Jesus performed miracles.

 

[phrodeau]

No he won't. He performs tricks, Jesus performed miracles.

Lots of guys did back then. Most were called sorcerers, and so was Jesus.

 

[EternalFantasies]

It's odd for me how people who claim to be rational and logical can still comfortably make unfounded rumor-like political claims, and believe in sorcerers.

I suppose when we do not grasp the miracle of creation process, and thereby cannot see the other miracles as well, we become... irrational that way.

However unwittingly.

 

[GeorgeWalker]

https://up5.xhcdn.com/000/146/795/667_1000.gif

"I've heard rumors that you let young boys your own age touch your flesh."

"Well, in the name of Jesus Christ, I want to do the same thing."

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Lots of guys did back then. Most were called sorcerers, and so was Jesus.

The difference is that sorcerers can't make the blind to see, the lame to walk, feed 5,000 people from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, raise the dead, walk on water, Jesus did.

 

[Hard_Rom]

The difference is that sorcerers can't make the blind to see, the lame to walk, feed 5,000 people from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, raise the dead, walk on water, Jesus did.

Miracles are magic. If anything Jesus was just a powerful sorcerer. If you believe in the abracadabra form of magic. Not much diff between some wizard with a snake covered staff and robes with moons and stars on it speaking ancient Greek and a priestly wizard with a mitre and rod speaking old Latin incantations.

 

[phrodeau]

The difference is that sorcerers can't make the blind to see, the lame to walk, feed 5,000 people from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, raise the dead, walk on water, Jesus did.

Uh huh. And they can't make their staffs turn into snakes on command, either.

Except for the sorcerers employed by Pharaoh.

 

[ishtat]

24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

.[/SIZE]

If you could read the Hebrew text Phrodeau you would know that the drunken Noah had been castrated by his son. Pretty common procedure in ancient religious systems.

 

[phrodeau]

If you could read the Hebrew text Phrodeau you would know that the drunken Noah had been castrated by his son. Pretty common procedure in ancient religious systems.

That's the fair turnabout for circumcision.

 

[Tryharder62]

Genesis 9:20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

Whoa, Noah got so drunk that his clothes fell off. Does that ever happen to you? Why would Noah get naked, just because he got drunk?

Genesis 9:22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

Noah knew? How did he know? Did Noah know that he was previously naked? Did Noah realize that Ham saw him at the time? How drunk could he have been?

Genesis 9:25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

So Noah throws down a curse on his toddler* grandson for his own drunken exhibitionism, and his grandson didn't have anything to do with it.

* The Book of Jubilees says that Ham had four sons, Canaan being the youngest. It also says that the Curse of Canaan occurred five years after the ark landed. The 1st Epistle of Peter 3:20 says that only eight souls were saved in Noah's ark, presumably Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives. If Ham's children only came after the landing, Canaan could not have been more than two and a half years old at the time.

Some say that Ham actually did more than see Noah. He castrated him. There are also some that say that Canaan was the result of Incest between Ham and Noah's wife. I only see what is written, so yep! This is a doozie! But Noah isn't God

 

[Hard_Rom]

Some say that Ham actually did more than see Noah. He castrated him. There are also some that say that Canaan was the result of Incest between Ham and Noah's wife. I only see what is written, so yep! This is a doozie! But Noah isn't God

If human population reduced to one family must have been incestuous relations. Not the first time if Adam and Eve to be believed. Or should we not take a very literal interpretation of the bible? Those that God chose over the rest of humanity? Are we that bad or just poor judgement on God's part? Yeah, yeah Bog is infallible.

 

[EternalFantasies]

Miracles are magic. If anything Jesus was just a powerful sorcerer. If you believe in the abracadabra form of magic. Not much diff between some wizard with a snake covered staff and robes with moons and stars on it speaking ancient Greek and a priestly wizard with a mitre and rod speaking old Latin incantations.

Uh huh. And they can't make their staffs turn into snakes on command, either.

Except for the sorcerers employed by Pharaoh.

http://undergrad.osu.edu/buckeyes_blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Joe-Biden-Laughing-368x207.gif

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

DID JESUS RISE FROM THE DEAD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ3mBFsfdYU

 

[EternalFantasies]

More like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrhSjP5988E

 

[phrodeau]

DID JESUS RISE FROM THE DEAD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ3mBFsfdYU

All sorts of people got resurrected back then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SNuhjRZZI4

 

[Tryharder62]

If human population reduced to one family must have been incestuous relations. Not the first time if Adam and Eve to be believed. Or should we not take a very literal interpretation of the bible? Those that God chose over the rest of humanity? Are we that bad or just poor judgement on God's part? Yeah, yeah Bog is infallible.

The bible tells about the people in it, warts and all. You don't have to be perfect for God to use you in a powerful way. Kind of conforting to me.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

All sorts of people got resurrected back then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SNuhjRZZI4

Only the ones that Jesus resurrected.

 

[phrodeau]

Only the ones that Jesus resurrected.

But Jesus was dead at that time. He couldn't resurrect a dung beetle.

Your entire religious dogma hangs on that one idea - that Jesus completely died and for three days (or two days, if you actually count them) there was no more God.