How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[KingOrfeo]

The story of Job has such a happy ending. "And then he died."

As he would have if never made the subject of a divine bet. The really outrageous thing about the story is that God let Satan kill Job's sons and their families and servants, and then seemed to think he had made up for it by giving him new sons. Are your children so easily replaceable?!

 

[KingOrfeo]

Mine eyes have seen the coming of the Dark Lord Antichrist
He is humorous and handsome, and He isn't very nice
You'll get along just fine if you don't make Him tell you twice
Apocalypse today!

CHORUS:

Gory, gory Armageddon!
Gory, gory Armageddon!
Gory, gory Armageddon!
Apocalypse today!

When the Christians all got Raptured, we examined our beliefs
We felt doubt and we felt terror, but we mainly felt relief
They might have known what's what, but caused us all no end of grief!
Apocalypse today!

(CHORUS)

Evil's good and good is evil and the world's turned upside down
Every idiot's a sage and each professor is a clown
And Our Dark Lord's First Commandment's "Get undressed and go to town!"
Apocalypse today!

(CHORUS)

It's really most annoying, with the rains of flaming pitch
And the things that bite, and things that burn, and things that sting and itch
But, oh, that Whore of Babylon's a lusty, royal bitch!
Apocalypse today!

(CHORUS)

It's really most confusing, with the Horsemen in the skies
And the seven seals, and seven plagues, and lambs with seven eyes
But we get no fun from Jesus, so bring on the Prince of Lies!
Apocalypse today!

(CHORUS)

 

[KingOrfeo]

Give me that real Old Time Religion
Give me that real Old Time Religion
Give me that real Old Time Religion
It's good enough for me!

We will worship like the Druids
Running naked through the wuids
Drinking strange fermented fluids
And it's good enough for me!

We shall all bow down to Allah
Who gave all His loyal followers
The Mighty Petrodollah
And it's good enough for me!

We shall bow and worship Dagon
A conservative old pagan
Who still votes for Ronald Reagan
And it's good enough for me!

The Mikado Akihito
Doesn't say He's God, but we do
It's the good ol' Shinto credo
And it's good enough for me!

My own favorite's Astarte
A lusty wench and hearty
Taught them Hebrews how to party
And it's good enough for me!

Although operas usually bore us
There is one that's written for us
It's the opera 'bout Boris
And it's Godunov for me!

Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
Even Cthulhu's not His master
Than the Unspeakable *
And It's good enough for me!

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Faith is a vice, not a virtue.

It's not blind faith. It's backed up by the actual scientific evidence.

 

[phrodeau]

It's not blind faith. It's backed up by the actual scientific evidence.

Really? Then tell us where the treasury of snow is.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Really? Then tell us where the treasury of snow is.

I would say it's AntArctica, a solid piece of snow and ice. Where is that found in the Bible?

 

[hobbit.]

wear clean unde wear and avoid being burnt at the stake.

 

[phrodeau]

I would say it's AntArctica, a solid piece of snow and ice. Where is that found in the Bible?

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=86086818&postcount=2146

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=86086818&postcount=2146

Sweet!

What about this verse? Do you have any idea what this verse means?

Job 26:7 He stretches out the north over the empty place, and He hung the earth on nothing.

 

[Hard_Rom]

Canada's existence is prophesied in the Bible.

Psalm 72:8
"He shall have dominion also from sea to sea, and from the river unto the ends of the earth"
"Et dominabitur a mari usque ad mare, et a flumine usque ad terminos terrae"
The Dominion of Canada from the Atlantic to Pacific and Detroit River to North Pole.
From sea to sea.

 

[KingOrfeo]

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=86086818&postcount=2146

God was a real dick in that book, too. Job asked "Why do I deserve this?" And God had nothing to say but "I'm God and you're not." He used some impressive poetry to say it, but that's all it comes down to.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

God was a real dick in that book, too. Job asked "Why do I deserve this?" And God had nothing to say but "I'm God and you're not." He used some impressive poetry to say it, but that's all it comes down to.

I hope you realize that you are going to have to stand before God one day. He will be reviewing your entire life. You need apologize to Him for saying that about Him.

 

[phrodeau]

Sweet!

What about this verse? Do you have any idea what this verse means?

Job 26:7 He stretches out the north over the empty place, and He hung the earth on nothing.

Yes, it is complete nonsense.

 

[phrodeau]

Canada's existence is prophesied in the Bible.

Psalm 72:8
"He shall have dominion also from sea to sea, and from the river unto the ends of the earth"
"Et dominabitur a mari usque ad mare, et a flumine usque ad terminos terrae"
The Dominion of Canada from the Atlantic to Pacific and Detroit River to North Pole.
From sea to sea.

I have been to Canada, and I agree that it seems like the end of the earth.

 

[KingOrfeo]

I hope you realize that you are going to have to stand before God one day.

No, I will not have to stand before God one day, and neither will you.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Yes, it is complete nonsense.

Oh, really? Hanging the earth in outer space is nonsense?

 

[Hard_Rom]

I have been to Canada, and I agree that it seems like the end of the earth.

You're going to have to stand before God and apologize for that remark one day! As it is prophesized it must a favoured country. Unbeliever!

 

[Hard_Rom]

Oh, really? Hanging the earth in outer space is nonsense?

So if you are all Bible literal, you must be holding to the sun orbiting the earth (?).

 

[KingOrfeo]

Oh, really? Hanging the earth in outer space is nonsense?

Well, it is in space but does not in any sense hang.

 

[KingOrfeo]

So if you are all Bible literal, you must be holding to the sun orbiting the earth (?).

Except when Joshua took Jericho.

Believe it or not, I've heard of a Catholic who insists Galileo was wrong and the geocentric theory is correct, since motion is relative anyway and we might as well consider the Earth stationary as the sun.

 

[Hard_Rom]

Except when Joshua took Jericho.

Believe it or not, I've heard of a Catholic who insists Galileo was wrong and the geocentric theory is correct, since motion is relative anyway and we might as well consider the Earth stationary as the sun.

Let's see if the baggins grasps at that straw.

Little Johnny refused to go to Sunday school. Said he would not move. Now considering the Earth orbits the Sun at a speed of approximately 75,000 mph and the Sun orbits the galactic center at about 500,000 mph. All the while the Milky Way galaxy is hurtling through the universe at something like 250,000 mph. Needless to say little Johnny got just what he deserved in a very short period.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

So if you are all Bible literal, you must be holding to the sun orbiting the earth (?).

From man's perspective it does.

 

[Hard_Rom]

From man's perspective it does.

So the Bible is man's perspective not the actual word of God? It is subject to different interpretation depending on your perspective?

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

So the Bible is man's perspective not the actual word of God? It is subject to different interpretation depending on your perspective?

It is 100% the word of God, but not always 100% God's perspective in my opinion.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Let's see if the baggins grasps at that straw.

Little Johnny refused to go to Sunday school. Said he would not move. Now considering the Earth orbits the Sun at a speed of approximately 75,000 mph and the Sun orbits the galactic center at about 500,000 mph. All the while the Milky Way galaxy is hurtling through the universe at something like 250,000 mph. Needless to say little Johnny got just what he deserved in a very short period.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jHsq36_NTU