Where do I buy a ticket for the next flight leaving earth?

[Phelia]

https://i.imgur.com/ZZYYwE6.png

https://i.imgur.com/wcKqDkk.png

 

[neci]

wire me 300USD, and i'll tell you when and where the ship leaves.

 

[Hard_Rom]

That would be desertion. There are no passengers on Planetship Earth. Remember 'Resistance is not futile'.

 

[pointless]

try hitting up henry mclean.

 

[Ms_Ann]

http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/cms/IB/30491-bible-table-sized.630w.tn.jpg

 

[Wrong Element]

I've said all along I'm not going anywhere.

So leave now and miss the spectacle of the Cult's humiliation? Not a chance.

 

[Phelia]

wire me 300USD, and i'll tell you when and where the ship leaves.

Yay! May I request a window seat? I'd love to flip off Jenny McCarthy as we pierce the atmosphere. You're coming too, right? I'll bring snacks and buttplugs.

That would be desertion. There are no passengers on Planetship Earth. Remember 'Resistance is not futile'.

I'm sure I'll be just as effective from the Trappist 1 planetary system.

https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/internal_resources/479

try hitting up henry mclean.

Thank you sir may I have another.

 

[Phelia]

http://thepeoplescube.com/images/CCCP_pinup/FIrst_Woman_Cosmonaut.jpg

 

[Phelia]

I've said all along I'm not going anywhere.

So leave now and miss the spectacle of the Cult's humiliation? Not a chance.

It's true, that will be very satisfying! Right after they hire a special prosecutor to look into Hillary's email server for the next two years.

 

[Jamiegeo]

https://www.viralviralvideos.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/03/Flying-Cat-GIF.gif

Posted yesterday, but it seems to fit purrfectly here..

 

[Phelia]

This is pure silliness but it made me laugh until I cried, which is what I needed. Just what the Mostly Doctor ordered.

To Whom It May Concern:

A lot of people have expressed a desire for an update on President Donald J. Trump’s health since his inauguration. I have been the personal physician of President Donald J. Trump since 1980 and I am here to say that Mr. Trump’s health is absolutely better than ever.

Since being sworn in, Donald Trump has lost 50 pounds and gained 17 inches of height. He’s the longest president who has ever lived. His livers are both functioning flawlessly. His blood sets an all-time record for the state of New York for “most” and his blood pressure was rated “excellent” by seven different Fox News Twitter polls. He doesn’t even have one cholesterol.

I can say this unequivocally: Donald Trump has the most bones. Scientists estimate that he now has around 900 bones in his body and more are being discovered every day. Some of those bones have never been seen before. They allow him to be really good at presidential things like signing executive orders and making love nightly to his wife who wants him to.

Mr. Trump’s test results have been astonishingly excellent. He actually has a blood type we’ve never seen before: “All.” It’s both the universal donor and universal recipient, and sprinkling it on your penis makes your penis bigger. Mr. Trump’s blood is gorgeous. It has a rich color that’s hard to describe, but if I had to put it into words, I might call it “red.”

President Donald Trump has no family history of cancer, diabetes, or death. The president’s family members are immortal beings that walk the earth without end, craving the sweet release of death that will never come unless they make a deal with a cool witch. Donald Trump will never die, he will just keep growing vertically forever until he lives in space. It’s really astonishing.

His physical strength is extraordinary. He can lift as much as a mother whose child is trapped under a car, but he’s more attractive than that mother and he hasn’t let himself go like she has. Have you seen the way she dresses lately? The hypothetical mother in this simile is a total chunk. 4 at best. As the famous doctor Hippocrates once said, “Would not hit.”

Since the Inauguration, Mr. Trump has kept an extremely active lifestyle. He starts every morning by walking straight up into the sky and then walking down again. He also visits me regularly for checkups. Mr. Trump doesn’t let me touch him because of gay, so I just eyeball it and give him a once over. I can usually tell just by looking how much blood is in him that day or which liver has taken the lead, so it’s not a super intensive process.

Read the rest.

 

[Phelia]

https://www.viralviralvideos.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/03/Flying-Cat-GIF.gif

Posted yesterday, but it seems to fit purrfectly here..

 

[thør]

http://thepeoplescube.com/images/CCCP_pinup/FIrst_Woman_Cosmonaut.jpg

Put your hand in my pocket, grab onto my rocket.......

 

[Libsam]

You can get a ticket for the next flight leaving earth from Russia.
NASA pays Russia about 80 million to send up one American astronaut.

Thanks Obama!

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Where do I buy a ticket for the next flight leaving earth?

I don't know where they sell the tickets, but I don't think you'll have any trouble raising the money.

 

[Phelia]

In a democracy, the people get the memes they deserve.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/08/05/us/05onfire1_xp/05onfire1_xp-master768-v2.jpg

Put your hand in my pocket, grab onto my rocket.......

Uh oh! It's leaking jet fuel!

 

[thør]

Uh oh! It's leaking jet fuel!

You might clean that up.

 

[Phelia]

I don't know where they sell the tickets, but I don't think you'll have any trouble raising the money.

OK, WE's right. It's going to be too much fun watching you short circuit as the limbs continue to fall off this human centipede.

Ya got me, you big lug!

 

[Phelia]

You might clean that up.

But my hands are busy!

Oh.

Also, this made me laugh in IsoBlurt!

https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18519429_1887137754645549_75765744832608283_n.jpg?oh=5bb4abf086ca9a8d8df3600dc6e630bc&oe=59B50EEF

I was texting with my mom about the excruciating absurdity of it all and she said "I flipped over to Fox News to see what they were saying and they were reporting on male rompers."

I was horrified, but now that I've seen them, I concede that it is the bigger story.

 

[thør]

But my hands are busy!

I was hoping you'd say that.

 

[MichelleSugarBaby]

If you find out let me know! I'm not ready to take it yet, but more and more often I'm thinking something like that seems a genius idea!

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Please allow me to purchase your ticket once you've located a flight.



The only stipulation is that it be one way.



I'll even spring for first class...

 

[neci]

Yay! May I request a window seat? I'd love to flip off Jenny McCarthy as we pierce the atmosphere. You're coming too, right? I'll bring snacks and buttplugs.

i can only get us to the door. the rest is up to you. i would recommend sneaking in through the cargo hatch. that's where i'll be. buttplugs in space.

 

[chillywilly2]

See Ralph Cramden...he always said he could send Alice to the moon

 

[Miles]

Please allow me to purchase your ticket once you've located a flight.



The only stipulation is that it be one way.



I'll even spring for first class...

Like you could afford anything other than a bus ticket. A forklift driver doesn't make very much money, kimoslobby.